In the Best Damn Dress I Own

Slowly, ever so slowly, I felt Erika’s lips pull away from my own. I saw her blushing as I stared stupidly at her. Had she just kissed me? Usually my gay-dar was spectacular, seeing as I was about as gay as they come. Maybe my lesbian-dar was just a bit off.

“I-I’m sorry, Genna. I really shouldn’t have done that,” Erika said, still a deep shade of scarlet. She started to turn on her heels before I caught her by her fragile arm. She turned back to me, bewilderment splashed across her face.

“Erika, there’s no reason to be sorry. I just, um, I’m…” I started, not able to bring myself to tell her this ghastly secret that I wanted so badly to be rid of. Her hand reached up to caress my cheek, but I took it, stopping her from going any further. “Erika, I think I need to show you something.”

I took her hand that was still enclosed in mine. Opening the door, I lead the way through Frank and my apartment. Luckily, Frank was still at his interview, so he had no idea what was about to happen.

When I looked back I saw Erika’s brown eyes dart back and forth. Our apartment was shitty, there was no argument about that. The carpet was stained from the various nights that Frank and I had made love, not wanting to be so conforming as to use the bed. There was a huge burn mark on the kitchen linoleum, from one day when I had tried and failed miserable at trying to cook marshmallows inside. The floral wallpaper was peeling, revealing a dark, wood underbelly. I had to admit, it wasn’t much. In fact, it was horrible, but it was the place Frank and I had called home ever since we had graduated, moving in together shortly after.

I hastily led Erika into the bedroom Frank and I shared, pulling her eyes from the run-down apartment. Setting her down on the bed that Frank and I had shared so many nights of just laying, talking, I saw her eyes dart quickly around the room. They settled on a bottle of lubricant that was sitting on the end table.

“Genna, why do you have this?” she asked, her voice filling with dread. My eyes dropped, resting on the floor.

“Please don’t be mad when I show you this. Please don’t think of me as a freak,” I pleaded, knowing that it would probably make no difference.

“Why would I...HOLY SHIT!” she screamed as I pulled my obscenely tight pants and underwear down simultaneously.

Her eyes traveled up and down my body, resting on my limp dick. Judgment passed in her eyes. I knew I was probably royally fucked and as good as out of the pageant.

“G-G-Genna?” she asked, still unsure of if what she was seeing was real.

“Actually…it’s Gerard,” I stated. Her eyes looked up at me, finally confirming that all she saw was really happening. This wasn’t just some cruel joke. This was reality that had just been thrust into her waiting arms.

For no reason that I could know of, tears started brimming in my eyes. Through the blur of the tears I could see Erika rush forward, then hesitate, still unsure of what to do. Then she grabbed me up in her arms just as I was about to collapse.

“Erika, I-I am s-s-so sor-sorry! I didn’t mean to h-h-h-hur-hurt you I swear!” I bawled into her shirt, staining it with my unholy tears. Damn me for being so damn pathetic and sick!

“Shh. It’s okay. Everything will be alright. You’ll see. You’ll see, Gen-Gerard,” Erika cooed, almost slipping up on my name. I looked up at her, seeing that her chestnut eyes were gazing back at me in pity.

Then we heard the door open then close.

“Gerard! I’m home!” I heard Frank’s voice sing. My eyes grew wide in fear when I realized that I was in Erika’s arms, my bottom half still nude. What would Frank think? Would he think I was cheating on him? He should know by now that I’m gay, but what if he doesn’t? What if he leaves me, thinking that I’m untrue?

I pulled my pants up in great haste. Just as I finished up with the zipper, Frank walked into the room.

“Ger..ar…d,” his voice falters when he sees Erika. I can tell it’s not jealously, but fear that he may have exposed me.

“Frankie, baby!” I yell as I jump into his arms. He cradled me gently then placed me back to the ground.

“I’ll just see myself out then,” I heared Erika say before she started to walk past me, her black hair fluttering behind her. For a moment I thought I see grief, but only for a moment. Then, I forgot completely, becoming too wrapped up in Frank’s passionate kisses and embraces.