In the Best Damn Dress I Own

I stayed there, enveloped in Frank’s arms for awhile. I could feel his chest move in and out. It, in all honesty, lulled me. It was just like a lullaby, his beautiful breaths. If he had been given the chance, he would have made a wonderful father. I beat myself mentally for taking that opportunity away from him. I couldn’t get pregnant, and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to adopt. I didn’t deserve Frank, that was the only truth of the matter.

Then, a thought hit me like a ton of bricks; a thought that I had thought when Erika was still here. In fact, it was precisely about Erika.

Was Erika going to tell Evaleen my secret?

My face flushed, and I felt my knees grow weak. Before I knew it, I had fallen to the floor, a little pile of flesh, blood, hair, and bones. I felt Frank try to lift me up, his arms reaching underneath my underarms and pulling. His efforts failed though, and he gave up.

“Gee, honey, what’s the matter?” I slowly shook my head, not wanting to believe what could be happening. My life would be over. Everyone would know me as the freak man who walks around in women’s clothing. I would be kicked out of what I had tried so hard to get into; the pageant.

“F-Frankie, could you get me my phone? I need to make a call.” He nodded, not quite knowing how to react to my sudden mood-swing, but could you really blame him? Just a moment ago, I had been enveloped in his arms, stealing kisses from his plump lips. Now, I was a zombie on the floor, speaking in a monotone and demanding my phone.

Frank soon came back with the phone in his hand, his wrist slightly shaking. Any other time I would have asked what was wrong. This time, I knew what was wrong. I was the one frightening him, with my scary, schizophrenic moment.

I didn’t know her number yet by heart, so I went into my contacts list. When her name was finally highlighted, I clicked the ‘send’ button. From the other line I heard ringing, then she picked up.

“Hello?”

“Erika, it’s me, Gerard. Look, I’m sorry I sprung all that on you today. I know it’s quite a bit to take in. I just wanted to ask, are we still friends?” My voice was barely a whisper. Frank looked at me, wondering if that was the reason for acting like I was bipolar.

“Of course we’re still friends Gen-, I mean Gerard. I was just…surprised. Oh dear, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Um, Erika, before you go, I wanted to ask you one more question. You’re not going to tell Evaleen about my problem are you?” I could hear her sigh from the other line. I couldn’t help but think that I was too late. She had already told Evaleen and now I was going to be kicked out.

“No, I won’t tell her. But I would like to talk to you, alone. Maybe we could get together over coffee tomorrow. Let’s say, Starbucks, one o’clock.” I grinned, despite the dire situation. My entire career depended on Erika keeping a secret, and now my head was filled with thoughts of coffee? I was far too fucked up to comprehend.

“That sounds great. See you then.” I clicked the ‘end’ button and laid the phone on the floor beside me. Slowly, I got up from the floor, my legs wobbling a bit from sudden numbness.

When I had regained my posture, I bent down to pick up my phone off the floor. Without warning, I felt two hands wrap around my torso and rest on my belt loops. I looked down and saw an ‘O’ and a ‘W’ curling into the loops. Then, a groin pressed against my buttocks, and I groaned.

Then, as quickly and unexpectedly as it had happened, the pleasure was revoked from me. The fingers that were intertwined in my belt loop were now gone, and the groin that happily invaded my personal space had disappeared. I whined in protest, my whines only returned with a clever little smirk.

“Now, now Gerard, don’t go getting too excited. First, you have to tell me what’s making you have these mood swings. First you’re romantic, then you’re wiped of all emotion, then you’re grinning like a Cheshire cat. It just doesn’t make sense, now does it?” Frank raised his eyebrows as he talked, making his serious speech seem almost funny.

“Well, Erika, my new friend, and I went shopping today. We went to Spencer’s and Hot Topic, and a couple other places I think. Then, when we got home I went to say good-bye to Erika, and she kissed me!” Frank’s mouth dropped open at that part, and I grinned at his comical position. Then I went on.

“Oh baby, that’s not even the half of it. Then, not knowing what to do, I took her into the bedroom. Then I…showed her. I’m so sorry Frankie! I just panicked!”

“Well, that would explain the wiping of emotion. I can assume that you were a little worried. She isn’t going to tell the pageant lady, is she?” Frank asked, his eyes growing wide.

“That’s why I’m so happy. When I called her I asked her if she would. She said she wouldn’t, but do you think that I can trust her, Frankie?” My eyes became saucers when I realized that I might not be out of the woods yet. Erika could still tell Evaleen, and I could still end up royally fucked.

“I don’t know Gee. But, for now, I’d stay on Erika’s good side. We don’t want any mishaps or complications with your pageant,” Frank cooed as he kissed leaned up to kiss my forehead. I smiled down at him, remembering what he had said.

“Oh, Frankie dear, do you remember what you said? I’ve told you why I’ve been so schizophrenic, now you have to continue what you started.” I smile spread across my face because I knew he couldn’t object.

“Gladly,” Frank uttered before whisking me up in his brilliantly colored arms. Before I knew it, he was straddling me on the bed, and the covers were rustled. Not one single thought was in my mind other than how Frank was moving his hips.

Not even worries about Erika.