Like Chocolate Stars and the Sun

Monday morning. Again.

I sighed as I closed my locker. My headache from the day before was long gone, but I still had the occasional churning, nauseous feeling in my stomach that was probably only still there because I hadn't eaten much since Saturday night, which I only did because I felt sick. It was a loose-loose situation.

Luckily I had managed to survive most of my lessons from that morning and was only faced with a few more lessons to go.

“Good Morning.” Someone said cheerfully next to me. I glanced sideways and actually had to do a double take. Tyler was unexpectedly stood beside me.

“What's so good about it?” I asked and fought back a yawn.

“I have yet to figure that out.” He replied and narrowed his eyes in mock thought.

“Alrighty then,” I laughed, still slightly confused at why he was suddenly talking to me again. “Can I just ask one question?”

“Fire away.”

“Please don't take this the wrong way,” I brushed some hair that had fallen stray of my ponytail behind my ear as I spoke, “But why are you talking to me? I thought you were seriously pissed off with me?” I cringed slightly once the words had left my mouth, they had sounded better in my head.

“I don't hold grudges.” Tyler sighed and he shoved his hands into his jean pockets and looked down at the floor. “Not for too long anyway.” He glanced back up at me after a few seconds, his green eyes startling me slightly.

“Right...” It took a while for my brain to process what he had just said, it was Monday morning after all. “But I was a bitch to you, you should hate me.” The thing that shocked me the most was he was even talking to me at all after everything that had happened recently.

"I wont talk to you if that's what you want." Tyler held up his hands. I shook my head quickly.

"No, its not that." I explained, "I'm just confused. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Like I said, I don't hold grudges." Tyler dropped his hands and put them back into his jeans pockets, "Plus, it kind of sucks not talking to you. And I missed you." I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. Why did he have to pick now to be all nice and sweet again?

"Okay then." I smiled and looked back up at Tyler. Finally, something was going right for a change, I just had to clarify one little detail. "I'm just going to point out now that I had way more to drink then I should have so I cannot be held responsible for my actions on Saturday night."

"I kind of guessed that was the case. My arse of a cousin did a great job of being Mr over-protective once he found out you were way out of it." Tyler explained, the last part came out harsher then I thought it needed to be.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh nothing, I'm just surprised that he didn't follow you around all night making sure you didn't do anything 'stupid'. I'm surprised you managed to actually get that drunk, I thought Jesse would be keeping you all to his self."

"Your really confusing me now." I put my hand up to my forehead, "Please remember I'm still recovering slightly."

"Look it doesn't matter," Tyler shrugged the whole thing off and we both started walking to class, which just so happened to be music. Its a good thing we made up because every music lesson for the past two weeks had been hell.

"Yes it does matter, to me." I mumbled and stared straight ahead, "You really need to sort things out with Jesse."

"And if I don't want to?" He replied simply.

"He's your cousin." I replied, also quite simply.

"Well done Francesca." Tyler patted my head playfully as he spoke. I half expected him to say something else but instead he just continued to walk without mentioning anything to do with the subject. Though I was not finished...

"I'm waiting," I was not sure if it was a good idea to bring up the subject once again, but I was just curious, "Why are you so happy to forgive me, yet you still obviously have some hard feelings towards Jesse?"

"Because he pissed me off more. Simple as." Tyler replied. I turned my head to look at him once again as we both walked.

"I thought you said you didn't hold grudges?" I asked with a small smile. Tyler thought about what I had just said and then scowled playfully at me.

"What would you say if I said this is different?" He asked quietly.

"I would say 'Why is it different'?" I replied after thinking over my reply in my head. Tyler replied with a groan.

"Your not going to drop this are you?" He asked timidly. I shook my head and realised we had reached our music classroom. Once I had sat down in my usual seat I started pressing Tyler for answers once again. He did not seem to mind one bit about the fact we were talking, I think what was annoying him the most was who we were talking about. Well, technically who I was talking about, because he wasn't talking all that much.

"I'm not going to stop asking you till you tell me you know." I pointed out halfway through the lesson, while we were supposed to be practicing our compositions. Tyler's green eyes found mine and then quickly looked away again.

"I've told you, maybe I don't want to forgive Jesse." He sighed and started absentmindedly strumming the stings on an acoustic guitar he had managed to talk someone into letting him use. I watched his fingers gently pick at the strings and listened to the interesting melody that was produced for a few moments before speaking up again.

"OK, this is the last time I'm going to mention it, because I'm annoying myself slightly now. Can you just please tell me something? I don't care how small, I just want to know." I trailed off and watched the strings on the guitar once again. Tyler sighed and his hand stopped the strings on the guitar from making any noise before talking.

"Right. The thing is, Jesse only seemed to think of you as just a friend until I started going out with you. After the whole fiasco at the movies, that's when he suddenly became really into you. And even though he knew how much I liked you and the fact that he had a girlfriend, he still went ahead and kissed you." Tyler spoke quietly and sighed once again. "It probably seems quite pathetic, but that's not what its like through my eyes."

"By suddenly really into you..."

"Exactly what I said." Tyler interrupted me. "Don't pretend that you don't know exactly what I'm talking about Francesca."

"I know what you mean, I just don't understand one little bit." I spoke quietly.

"You can't deny it, its that obvious." Tyler laughed lightly, probably at my oblivion to the apparently obvious, "My cousin likes you."

I sat, staring blankly at the guitar in my friends hand, and didn't move. I must have looked completely and utterly gob smacked because Tyler immediately tried to change the subject.

"Anyway, this bridge," Tyler started strumming the strings of his guitar, "It kind of needs sorting out." I nodded pathetically and watched his hands pick at the strings.

It kind of all made sense now. The jealousy, the kiss, the over protectiveness. I had no idea how exactly to react, or if i should be pleased or not. My head was screaming at me for not noticing something so apparently obvious.

"How about an A chord here?" Tyler asked and snapped me back to reality.

"What?" I asked, a little dazed.

"Are you alright?" Tyler asked and placed the guitar so the neck was resting against the table leg so it didn't fall over.

"To be completely honest with you, I don't know." I looked up at him and bit my lip, "That was a bit of a bomb you dropped."

"Really? You didn't know." Tyler looked as shocked as I must have done earlier, "I thought it was really obvious?"

"Maybe to you." I muttered, now feeling slightly embarrassed. If it was so obvious then did this mean I was the last to know?

The bell rung to signal the end of the lesson and I hopped off the top of the table where I had been sat for most of the period and slung my bag over my shoulder. I decided to wait for Tyler as he put away the guitar he had been using in a carry case and shoved it back into the over crowded storage cupboard at the back of the classroom.

"Sorry." Tyler said to me once he had put the guitar away, "I didn't mean to drop something like that on you. I just thought it was real obvious. That's all."

"Its fine Tyler." I smiled, even though it wasn't fine. My head was thinking a thousand things at once and I don't remember ever being this confused on how to react.

"You sure, because you looked scared to death earlier."

"My skin is naturally pale, remember I haven't lived in sunny California all my life!"

"I couldn't forget that, your accent reminds me every time I talk to you." Tyler laughed as we both walked down the hallways to our next class.

- - -

"I cant believe he just dropped that on you." Charlotte wondered aloud while we stood in the lunch queue. She had managed to get it out of me when I was 'unusually quiet' in IT.

"It is obvious he likes you though." Charlotte continued with a shrug. I turned my head to look at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Am I completely blind?" I asked. "I mean, if it was so obvious then how the hell did I manage to miss it?"

"Because you are as into him as he is to you?" Charlotte suggested. I glared at her. "Sorry, but from an outsiders point of view it looks like that."

"What makes you think I'm definitely into him in that way?" I asked even though I knew fully well that there was definitely something about him that made me think about him as more then just a friend.

"I know you like him like that." Charlotte grinned proudly, "People underestimate how intelligent I actually can be sometimes." I looked away from her and picked up a sandwich from the counter in front of me.

"So lets say, hypothetically, maybe I do like him."

"Hypothetically."

"Yes, what am I supposed to do about it?" I asked. "I don't want to risk another friendship because of a sudden dose of hormones."

"Your being so pessimistic." Charlotte mumbled. "Who says its going to end badly?"

I glanced over at her once again.

"Please, knowing my luck it wont turn out all that well in the long run." I sighed and walked over to pay for my lunch. Charlotte was not far behind me and soon we were sitting down at the same table we had been sitting on for the past week.

"So what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean what am I going to do?" I asked as I picked at my sandwich, "Because I don't have a clue. Help?"

"Well I don't know. If you both like each other why don't you just go out already?" Charlotte laughed like it was the most obvious suggestion in the world, which it kind of was, but it was not necessarily the easiest option in my personal opinion.

"Well, you see there are a few problems with that suggestion." I frowned down at my sandwich. Surely that was obvious.

"Like what?"

Or maybe it was only obvious to me?

"For starters, there's the whole friends thing. Then there's the whole thing with Tyler." I sighed. "Then there's Stacey. Don't you think she hates me enough? I value my life you know."

"Tyler will get over it, trust me on that one. I know him well enough to know that. As for Stacey, I would just cross that bridge when you come to it."

"I don't know about that. Tyler still hates Jesse for everything." I explained. "I've just made up with the guy, I don't want him to hate me again."

"He never hated you. Not in such a strong context." Charlotte shook her head. "Just don't worry about how other people are going to react --"

"I can't help it." I sighed. "Look lets just forget it. For now at least."

Charlotte didn't say anything else, which was a good job because that's when Jesse joined us at the table. I tried acting 'normal' but my brain was thinking a thousand things at once.

Part of me was not looking forward to the ride home that night.