Like Chocolate Stars and the Sun

Did Jesse really just say that?

“What?” I asked, a little shocked. Do you really blame me?

“That came out a little wrong...” Jesse rubbed his face with his hands and closed his eyes. “What I meant was... oh crap.”

“Crap indeed.” I sighed. I bit my lip and was quite unsure on just what exactly to say.

“Look Frankie I really didn’t mean that.” Jesse looked up at me and rested his hand on my shoulder lightly, “You have to know that.”

“Look, just tell me what the hell is getting to you.” I pleaded; I was desperate to know what was going on in his mind right now. Granted I had only known the guy for just under three weeks but I considered Jesse to be one of my closest friends at the moment. I would trust him with a lot of things, not everything, but almost everything. Because I feel I could trust him. Obviously the feeling was not mutual.

“Well...” Jesse began and sighed again, his thumb tapping my shoulder lightly as his hand still rested there.

“Spit it out boy!” I joked and smiled. The serious atmosphere in the air was slowly killing me. Jesse shook his head and looked up so he was staring directly into my eyes. Despite his once again intense gaze this time I couldn’t look away. My eyes were locked on his deep blue orbs.

Jesse’s face began to inch closer and closer to mine and before I knew it his lips were upon mine, gently yet passionately kissing me. My lips tingled. It felt like I had just been zapped by a bolt of lightning. Subconsciously my hand moved so it was on the back of his neck and my fingers began playing with his hair. Jesse mimicked my action by putting his hand that had been resting on my shoulder on my neck, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. Why did a simple touch have me almost melting inside?

It was only now that I realised what I was doing. I was kissing my boyfriends cousin. They were blood related. Yet even though my conscience was yelling at me to stop what I was doing and get out of the car, but I couldn’t make myself stop. I was enjoying it too much to stop. It just felt so right, despite the fact it was the bitchiest, most horrible thing I had done in my life up until that moment.

I knew I would kick myself in the morning.

But then it hit me. Jesse knew Tyler was his cousin. He was deeper in this than I would be. It was a family member that was going to get hurt in all this. Another thought popped into my head, Jesse had a girlfriend. Yet he didn’t seem to be giving a thought about her. It almost made me feel sorry for Stacey. The word almost is there for a reason though.

All of a sudden my brain caught up with my actions and I couldn’t think straight. My mind began to spin. I pulled away from Jesse and just sat there for a few minutes staring forward. I didn’t know how to react, what to say. I didn’t know if it would be best to just get out of the car and forget that this ever happened.

I couldn’t. I had to figure things out before I tried walking. My brain can’t think about something like this and control my legs as well. I know girls can multitask but this was big. All my brain power was being used up.

“Frankie...” Jesse breathed his voice barely over a whisper. If he wasn’t thinking exactly what I was right now, then he was a very bad cousin.

What the hell. I think he passed that quite a while ago.

“I really don’t know what to say Jesse.” I replied. Now I knew it would probably be a good idea to get out of the car. Then I could spend as long as I wanted thinking about what just happened. “I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

Jesse just nodded as I hurried out of the car. I raced over my front garden and had the door open in record time. I let out a loud sigh once the front door was closed. This could not be happening. It shouldn’t be happening. Can’t things ever run smoothly in my life for a change? Does everything have to be one big drama?

I slowly climbed up the stairs in the hall and walked into my bedroom. My bed looked so comfy and inviting that I just collapsed onto it, discarding my school bag on the floor. Lying on my bed made me sleepy, I really wanted to just go to sleep and wake up the next morning and find out everything had been a dream.

But this was no fairytale.

I sat up and sighed. Carmen would know what to do in this situation. She was my own personal agony aunt. After glancing at my watch I decided it would be too late to call her, due to the time difference, so I opted for an email. If I logged on before school I might just have a reply. After turning on my laptop and opening my inbox I began to type a new email. I had filled Carmen in on pretty much everything that had been going on in the past three weeks, so she would know pretty much who I was talking about.

Carmen

I need your help. As soon as possible. You know Tyler and I am, well, an item. Well Jesse surprised me today. We were talking on the way home from school, about why he was being an ass and all of a sudden out of the blue he kissed me. (But don’t worry he wasn’t driving at the time). You see that isn’t the problem. Well it is but the thing is ... I think I liked it.

Help!

Frankie ;-)

I clicked the send button and sighed, knowing that I would probably have to wait till the next day for a reply. Stupid time difference! I read some of my other emails, as over the past few days most people from my year at my school back in England had emailed me saying how much they were missing me and my bubbly personality.

Ha. Likely story. They were all glad to see the back of me and my bubbly personality.

One email did make me laugh. A girl had asked me how many celebrities I had seen so far. I didn’t bother replying, as I had seen no celebs whatsoever. I wasn’t even looking for any.

As I was about to log out a message popped up in the corner of my screen informing me I had one new email. It turns out my friend was having one of her insomnia filled nights.

Frankie,

There is only one thing I can say in response to that. Crap. On the plus side you have two hot guys pining after you (by the way I still want to see a picture of both of them ;-)) but I really don’t know what to say to this. Erm... if you liked Jesse kissing you then are you sure you’re with the right person? Wait did you like it more then kissing Tyler?

Reply quickly. I want to know all the gossip.

Carmen (:

I sighed. I hadn’t really thought about if I preferred kissing Jesse to kissing Tyler. My brain had not yet caught up with everything that had been going on. But now I was actually thinking about it, the answer was yes. It felt so... right. This was getting beyond weird now. I quickly typed a response to Carmen, adding a message to the bottom telling her to get some sleep, and clicked the send button. Almost instantly another message appeared on in the corner of my screen. I clicked on my new message, knowing that there was no way Carmen could reply that quick – especially in her sleep deprived state.

I didn’t recognise the email address when the page loaded. The host name was one I had never heard of before, therefore definitely not English. That meant it wasn’t another crazy person from my school asking me if I have been celeb-spotting. So who the hell could it be?

I scrolled down and read the email. When I got to the bottom I just sat there in awe.

Hello.

I know what you and Jesse have been getting up to. It’s not good you know. Tyler will be crushed when he finds out. Good luck talking your way out of this one.

Your worst nightmare.

P.S If you want to know a way to stop me from telling your precious little boyfriend, then meet me in the girl’s bathroom closest to the junior lockers tomorrow morning at 8.30.

What the hell?

Was that blackmail? And who the hell was it?

This was not good at all. If Tyler found out then he would be crushed. Except it would be a double blow. His girlfriend and his cousin? I knew I had to meet this person tomorrow and sort this mess out. If it was the last thing I did.

- - -

I managed to sneak away from Charlotte as we both began to head to our first lesson. I knew I would be late to music, but it’s not like I could do much anyway. Tyler was away and we were still working on our paired composition. As I pushed open the door to the girls bathroom I was greeted with the strong scent of tacky perfume, and I knew exactly who it belonged to. I prayed that it wouldn’t be who I thought it was, that they had just been in here before.

“So you came?”

“So, do you enjoy ruining my life?” I growled. This, by the way, is so unlike me.

“I don’t know what you’re so pissed about, you’re not the one who witnessed her boyfriend making out with some English slag.” Stacey folded her arms and pouted. “For all you know I could be hurting inside.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.” I sighed. “You do know blackmail is illegal?”

“This isn’t blackmail.” Stacey grinned. “It’s an agreement between too people so they both gain what they want.”

“I can tell what you want is not going to be any fun for me.” I rolled my eyes. Part of me was saying that this was a bad idea, but it is either Tyler gets heartbroken or I suffer for possibly the next two years. The first option is not an option, I can not be the cause of someone’s heartbreak. I don’t handle that very well.

“Oh no, because if it was then I wouldn’t be getting what I wanted.” Stacey unfolded her arms and put them on her hips, “Lets just cut to the chase as I'm not a huge fan of being in such close proximity to someone like ... well like you.”

“Oh believe me the feeling is very much mutual.”

“Well that’s good then.” Stacey smirked, “You stay away from Jesse, perminately, and I won’t utter a word to Tyler about what happened last night.”

“What do you mean by ‘perminately’?” I asked, half knowing what would come as a reply.

“Do not talk to him, do not hang out with him. Don't even get rides home from him.” Stacey listed the things I expected her too. “Because when you’re around, he isn’t paying full attention to me.”

“You know that it the most pathetic ...”

“Ah, you should really be thinking about what your saying young lady.”

“You know what, you’re a bitch.” I sighed.

“So I’ve been told. Many times.” Stacey shrugged like it wasn’t even an insult. “But the question is, are you willing to keep up your part of the deal?” I looked down at the floor. Was I really willing to sacrifice my friendship with Jesse on the idea that Stacey wouldn’t tell Tyler about Jesse and I kissing?

“Deal.” I whispered. As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted ever considering saying them.