Silence Is a Virtue

When I began crying, Mr Mason sent me out of the room. He told me to either wait outside and calm down, or head home. I chose the latter.

I called Emmett, who had a free period, and he said he'd be happy to take me back. He sounded worried, but I told him not to fuss.

We arrived home after an awkward ten minutes, and Em told me he had to go back to school. I hugged and thanked him, and he left.

The house always seemed bigger when I was on my own. Too much space and nothing to do that would occupy my mind. I wandered up to my room and collapsed on my bed, sighing and allowing myself to cry, now I was alone.

I knew perfectly well what I had done to offend Edward, but beforehand I hadn't known he would react like that. After all, Alice's warning hadn't been my words, right? I was drawn to Edward in a way that I couldn't understand, and I would never advise anyone to avoid him. He was far too interesting, far too beautiful to be avoided. A strained sob escaped my lips as a painful thought drifted into my mind - I was making his life harder. I could see that now. He was already sick of the school, after only two days, and it was my fault. What kind of a friend was I?

My stomach was churning with worry. What if he never spoke to me again? What if he ignored me? I needed advice, desperately.

I rubbed my face dry of tears, then pulled out my phone and dialled Alice's number.

"Bells? Did something happen?" Alice said. I sighed.

"Yes." I had to pause for a moment to stifle another sob, and I heard her gasp quietly as she heard me sniffling. "I spoke to him, and told him you wanted me to avoid him."

"And? What happened?"

"He got angry and stormed out. He seemed really hurt, pixie..." my voice was trembling pathetically.

"I knew you shouldn't have spoken to him... Okay, Bells, you can't let this get to you."

"It's a little bit late for-"

"No, listen to me. I know you think Edward is something different but he isn't, and this just proves it. Stay away from him, don't think about him." her voice was becoming firm, and I knew how hard it was to ignore Alice when she got like that.

"It'll be so hard, though!" a wave of hopelessness washed over me.

"Yes, it will!" she said, and I groaned. "But you have to do it. You can't get too close to him, Bells, only bad things will happen."

"But you never spoke to him, you've never even seen him. He can't be what you think he is." my words were becoming almost inaudible as my voice was wobbling so much.

"Trust me, Bells."

"You don't know him! You don't! You had a dream and you think that it gives you a reason to separate me from him! Well it doesn't, Alice, and you can't tell me to not get upset over this!" I wanted to sound angry, but I just sounded distraught. Alice didn't reply for a long time.

"Please, Bella. I know what I'm saying."

"You don't!"

The call ended with a click. Alice had hung up on me. I turned onto my stomach and began sobbing into my pillow, drowning out my thoughts with the sound of my tears. Part of me was telling me that I was being unreasonable, that Alice was only trying to help and when she had a hunch about something it usually turned out right.

As I've said before, though, Edward overruled all common sense. There was just something about him that changed me, that turned me into an irresponsible, blushing teenage girl. Not only was I finally beginning to act my age instead of being mature, I was acting younger than that. Edward turned me into the kind of person I'd never wanted to be, but I didn't mind.

I silently prayed that he would be in school tomorrow, that he would give me a chance to explain myself.

I was crying more than I'd ever cried in my life, only because of some silly boy. He hadn't even done anything wrong, really, he'd just got angry. Everyone gets angry at times, right? So why was I so affected by his moodswing? Why did I feel like the end of the world was upon me? Why had I lost all hope?

The answer came to me, along with another wave of depression and hopelessness. It was so clear, how hadn't I realised before? Once again, I remembered how Edward changed me. I couldn't think straight with him around. Only now, alone in my house, could I see the answer, and how it had been following me since the moment I first saw him.

I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.