My Chemical Life

November 30, 2007.
Dear thingy,
Wow. Here's something I haven't done in a long ass time. I got bored and ventured through my closet only to find this. So it's been at least four months. Let's do this quick, okay?Dad Frank and the guys told me the day after the party I gave them that they were going on tour and I couldn't come. I thought it was alright at first because they got Avenged Sevenfold and their friends Fall Out Boy to stay with me for two months each (FOB's still here now) and promised to keep in contact. They never even tried calling not even today, my birthday. So basically the closest I have to a father now is Matt and Patrick. I have a boyfriend also. No it's not Keith like everyone thinks. It's a boy named Alex. He knows Jessie's brother and I went over to Jessie's when Alex was there. We clicked instantly and he ended up asking me out. Of course I said yes against everyone's wishes. They say he's a bad influence but he's great minus his alcohol loving and smoking because of his older brother. Keith, Jessie, and I are as close as ever and are basically like siblings, we even started a band together. We don't really know what our name is yet but we're liking the name Your Beautiful Nightmare. I play lead guitar and sing, Keith plays drums, Jessie plays rhythm guitar, and Alex is playing bass for now until we can find a person to be our official bass player. Well I have to go, Alex and the guys should be all ready for band practice. Buh-bye.
Xoxo,
Lexi.

~*~

I carefully put my old, ratty diary on my desk before walking back to my closet for my outfit I had found in the closet. Yeah, some of my clothes went a bit more "gothic" the past few months. It was when I moved my shoes aside I found the diary hidden under a converse. As I picked up the outfit I had folded neatly on the floor I glared at where the diary had been. Below it was a picture of me and My Chemical Romance around the second week I went on tour with them after he adopted me. I mentally gagged when I saw the picture me hugging Frank with a big grin plastered on my face.

"Stupid fucking asshole," I muttered to myself as I stomped into my room and then into my bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my hair, teeth, and then applied black eyeliner and purple eye shadow. I quickly pulled on my clothes (I mentally giggled as I remembered I was the same height as Alex in these boots) and tossed my pajamas in the almost filled hamper. I sighed and decided I would take care of my laundry before going to Keith's house (his mom was cool enough to let us use the garage). I picked up the black hamper after slinging my messenger bag over my shoulder.

"Hey Lex. Where ya going?" Patrick asked as I exited my room, pulling it shut with my foot.

"I'm going to start my laundry before I go over to Keith's for practice. Is it alright if I go? I mean, I don't have to go. I could just get them to come over or something," I rambled. I seriously forgot to ask Patrick about it since he likes to at least have a heads up of my plans.

"Nah, it's alright. Just make sure to send some warning next time. Okay?" he reassured laughing. I nodded before heading back to the task at hand. I carefully walked down the stairs before going to the laundry room. After tossing the clothes in the washer and all, I headed into the kitchen where Pete sat on the counter typing on his sidekick. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I have a black and red one now thanks to Brian and Michelle. Yay for presents!

"Practice?" Pete asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do you even have to ask?" I giggled.

"Not really but I do anyways," he replied grinning. I rolled my eyes and pulled a water bottle out of the fridge. Suddenly I heard the familiar sound of feet scrambling across the hardwood floors.

"Hemmingway!" I squealed as the bulldog ran into the kitchen. He barked happily as I crouched down and started to pet him. Pete laughed at how much I tend to love cats and dogs, but come on! Who could resist something so cute?! I let out a screech as he jumped up and made me fall to the ground with him licking my cheek. Good thing I didn't open that water bottle yet.

"Hemmingway! Get off her," Pete laughed, pulling the excited dog off me. I stood, whipping the drool of my cheek with a napkin from the table.

"Alright well I got to go. Bye Pete. Bye Hemmingway," I waved after I picked up my bottle. I got a "bye" and bark in reply before I shut the door. I took a sip of water on my short journey to Keith's garage. When I got there Keith was playing random beat on his drums while Jessie and Alex were tuning their instruments.

"Hey babe," Alex greeted, putting his bass behind him so he can hug me and then give me a kiss on my lips. I kissed back and pulled away from him.

"Hey sweetie," I replied, grinning. I walked over to Jessie and gave her a hug then gave Keith one. I could hear Alex growl behind me but I just rolled my eyes. Did I mention he's protective and easily jealous? Yeah, he is but I think it's truly just more of the jealous part.

"Hey Lexi. Do you still wanna try that one new song?" Jessie asked me as I tuned my guitar. I stopped and put on a thoughtful face. Everyone laughed as I worked on a minute thinking about it, my eyes studying the ceiling.

"You know what? Let's try it!" I finally said. Jessie and Keith cheered since they've been hyped to try the song since I wrote the lyrics. We all go into position and we began.

"Don't be silent, fight!
Violence, melees
And disturbances of peace

Here's your introduction
To destruction
And the hate sustaining me
Are we safer or in danger?
Drowning in atrocities
Riot gear, the slaves are here
Piling corpses high
Its the rich man's war
But its the poor that fight

More capitalist crimes
More enemies than allies
No W.M.D.'s
Who gives a fuck if they die?
Just kill 'em all
Watch 'em fall
Skin the world with their lies
It's the rich man's war
But its the poor that fight

Stand up, speak out
Strike back! [x2]
They don't know
What they started
Confrontation!

My religion of resistance
Challenging everything
Radicals and dissidents
Of creativity
We are the children
Of the siege you hide
In this rich man's war
Where the poor just die

More deception and greed
More wars and disease
More lies from the high mind
That seek to deceive
A weak nation of need
Like silent thieves in the night
It's a rich man's war
But its the poor that die

Stand up, speak out
Strike back! [x2]
They don't know
What they started
Confrontation!

Stand, fight
Speak, fight
Strike back! [x2]
They don't know
What they started
Confrontation!

This is my battle cry
Defy the lies
Of the tyrant race
With a fist in the air
And a finger in their face!

Defy the tyrants
Don't be silent [x4]

Stand up, speak out
Strike back! [x2]
They don't know
What they started
Confrontation!

Stand, fight
Speak, fight
Strike back! [x2]
They don't know
What they started
Confrontation!

There's no way
They can stop us now [x2]
There's no way
They can stop us
So let them try
We fight or we die"

After that song we ended up playing three more before calling it quits earlier than usual. We all sat in Keith's living room on the floor, me in Alex's lap.

"Oh by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Keith said, everyone yelling at the end. It left a ringing in my ear but I smiled none the less.

"Aww. Thanks guys," I said, giving everyone a hug again before returning to my spot. Alex started to kiss my neck and I giggled. Keith and Jessie rolled their eyes before exiting the room knowing this had a ninety-nine point nine percent chance of turning into a make out session. And it did. I ended up on the ground with Alex on top of me as our tongues battled for dominance. Soon he was starting to lift up my shirt and I pulled away from the kiss.

"Alex, I told you no. I'm not ready yet," I sighed as we entered this talk yet again. It's not very shocking to me, it always ends up in the same exact position. He groaned and sat up, me following not too shortly after.

"I know babe but it's so hard to resist you," he said with lust filled eyes. At these times is when in the back of mind I think the only reason Alex stayed with me was to see how I would be in bed. I'm still proudly a virgin but sometimes it's so hard to try and say no to Alex. I even had a cigarette because he talked me into it. I feel horrible and like a hypocrite because of it. I didn't like it so I never had one after that and I am determined to not fall for it for this.

"I know sweetie but I'm just not," I sighed. He nodded and kissed my forehead before taking my hand in his. I grinned before pulling him up and walking into the kitchen, our hands still intertwined.

"Done now?" Jessie asked and looked up from the kitchen floor where she and Keith had resorted to playing Slide. The look upwards quickly made her mess up and Keith groaned.

"Man! We had finally gotten to thirty and you just had to look up!" he grumbled angrily. We just laughed at him and I nodded to answer Jessie's earlier question.

"Hey Lexi! We have news!" she suddenly squealed happily.

"You and Keith aren't running away to Candy Mountain because you are both madly in love with Charlie and want to battle to the death are you?" I asked all in one breath.

"No but that would be fucking awesome!" Keith exclaimed.

"I would have to join that fight to the death though," both Alex and I said at the same time.

"Is that so?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yes! You get me and we can share Charlie," I replied grinning. Alex laughed and nodded, kissing my temple. I truly wanted to melt right then and there.

"Anyways, Fall Out Boy and Avenged Sevenfold planned a party for your birthday! It has like a masked ball theme and we're going to have the party at some big place for like weddings and ceremonies and shit. Val had gotten us some outfits and their at your house!" Jessie explained really fast. My eyes got wide before I let out a squeal of joy.

"Really? Well let's go see ‘em! Bye guys," I said and gave Alex and Keith a hug before running over to my house after Jessie, messenger bag following behind me. I suddenly felt someone grab my arm and Alex pulling me in his chest before I entered the back door. He rested his forehead on mine and kissed me deeply.

"See you tonight. Okay?" he whispered. I nodded and kissed him once more before going into the house.

"Lexi!" I heard yelled out. I was suddenly getting spun around in the air by my old friend Brendon Urie.

"Brendon! I missed you!" I yelled, hugging him tightly before he set me down.

"Me too! Good news, we're all here! Panic, Used, Aiden, Avenged, FOB, The Berries, Cobra, Escape The Fate, and Paramore. We all wanted to see our favoritest fifteen year old on her special day!" he explained quickly. I knew a certain someone gave him sugar.

"LEXI!" I heard a lot of people yell.

"Holy crap," I whispered.