In the End

The Pretty Darkness

That was it.

Billie Joe and I hadn't talked for a longer time than we expected.

The fact that 2 days had gone by without saying a word to each other only made everything worse. I really had expected us to be on better terms...but we weren't.

Sure, I had seen Billie Joe. We just hadn't talked. It wasn't because he was pissed off at me...because he wasn't pissed off at me. Just the opposite.

I had been sleeping in the room that I really never had slept in. I wasn't use to it, really. Billie Joe slept in his own room, although he hadn't gone to bed until late at night.

All he had done was stay around the house...just...doing nothing. The house was now annoyingly clean, considering all I did was listen to music (Green Day...because in a way it never felt so good to hear Billie Joe's voice) and clean. Which really showed how bad I was taking everything, considering that I hated to clean.

I had lost contact to Rachel, Steph, and Becky, who were all worried about me. Tre called, but Billie Joe wouldn't pick up the phone...He knew Tre would ask why no one was talking to each other from the Armstrong household (Although I wasn't an Armstrong), and Billie Joe would have to tell him everything...and then Tre would freak, being the only other one knowing the situation with me being pregnant.

But he did pick up for Mike, telling him everything was all right and that he just hadn't heard the phone ring. In a way I was relieved that he hadn't told him the real reason for everything...and in another way I couldn't help but think of how much of a coward he was to not tell Mike.

Although...I hadn't told Rachel, Becky, or Steph anything...either.

I swear...I had cleaned the same place already 10 times the same day...but I didn't care. I stood up straight, wiping the hair from my eyes, and throwing the towel out. I could hear the TV from downstairs, meaning Billie Joe was watching it...as usual.

I sighed, and walked down the stairs letting my hair down, when my cell phone went off.

I looked at the ID, and raised an eyebrow having no idea who it was.

"Yellow?"

I saw Billie Joe look at me from the corner of my eyes, remembering when I had answered my cell phone to him like that when he was sick.

"You finally pick up?"

I looked down, biting my lip, "Who's phone are you on now, to talk to me?"

"Not the problem. Why the hell don't you pick up? I was starting to think that Billie Joe killed you"

She laughed, making me force a pathetic laugh.

"So how you doing?"

I shrugged, before realizing that Becky couldn't see me.

"I could be better"

Yeah...Ain't that the truth.

"How so?" She asked

"I'm feeling so shitty that for the past two days I've done nothing but clean"

"Holy crap...did Billie Joe die or something?"

I snorted, and shook my head fully aware that Billie Joe could hear me.

"No...everyone is alive. Except I think Freddie isn't feeling to good...or maybe he's just pissed off at me for cleaning his bowl every other hour"

Becky started laughing, and sighed, "What's wrong in paradise?"

"Don't ever call if paradise" I muttered

"Aww Mand...what happened?"

I didn't say anything, but I could feel my eyes burning with tears.

"Life sucks Beck...that's what"

She sighed, "Don't we know it"

"We do"

There was a silence as I felt tears start to run down my cheeks. I wiped my sleeve against my cheeks, trying to wipe the tears away.

I sobbed quietly, burying my head in my arms.

"Aww Mand...why are you crying?"

"I'm in shit, Beck" I whimpered, "I'm in so much shit. I'm not gonna lie" I sobbed again, all the emotions I kept bottled up finally pouring out.

"What happened, hun?"

"I'm in a fight with him," I sobbed, "A huge fight, and we haven't talked in 2 days"

"Aww...why?"

"My life is a mess, Beck" I sobbed, "I can't even get my head straight. I want to go down to the bar and just drink my worries away...but I can't...and I won't. Because being drunk got me in this mess-"

"You got drunk?" Becky asked, confused

"No" I croaked, "He did! And he got pissed off...he kinda freaked out...after he promised he wouldn't, promised he wouldn't get drunk during this"

I could barely see because of the tears in my eyes, and the tears running down my face making my eyeliner run.

"Billie Joe got drunk? Oh my god, did he hurt you? I'll fucking kill that mother-"

"He just freaked out, Beck...he didn't really hurt me...it's more of what he said, and how he was. How he scared me"

I was still fully aware that Billie Joe could hear me.

"Tre can't know..he'll kill Billie Joe" I choked out

"Why Tre? Why not Mike"

"Because Tre's the only one who knows about everything that's going on, Becky. Tre's the one who figured out that there's gonna be a new addition to the Armstrong's before I did!"

Becky fell silent.

"Oh my god"

I sobbed uncontrollably on the phone, losing my breath from it.

"Mandy" She whispered, "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes!" I nearly yelled, "And that's why everything is so screwed up! This is all so fucking horrible, Becky. I can't fucking take it"

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit." Now both of us were freaking out, for different reasons, "Are you shitting me?"

"Does it sound it?"

"No"

"Oh my god, Oh my god!"

"Shut up!" I snapped into the phone

I went to say something else, when the door of the house flew open.

"Holy shit...anyone know what a light is?"

I snapped my phone shut, hanging up on Becky who was in a daze, probably still saying "Oh my god"

Billie Joe looked to see that last person he wanted to see.

"Tre?" I asked

"In ze flesh, baby"

I smiled, before weakly getting to my feet, and stumbling over to him, throwing my arms around him and sobbing into his shirt, right in front of Billie Joe.

Tre hugged me, confused as hell, but still hugged me.

"Oh shit...are you drunk?" He asked, staring at me, "Don't tell me-"

"I'm not" I whimpered, "I don't drink, Tre...especially not now."

"Aww hun...what's wrong?"

I just sobbed into his shirt, depending on him to make me stand up.

It finally clicked in Tre's head that Billie Joe was in the same room.

"Billie?" He asked, rubbing my back gently, "What the hell?"

Billie Joe didn't say anything...he was scared to look at Tre.

Tre glared at his best friend, knowing that the reason I was crying was him.

"What did you do?" He asked

He didn't speak.

"Tre?"

I looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway, zipping up her sweater, "You here?"

"Yeah" Tre spoke softly

Rachel rushed in, before seeing me.

"Mandy?! Oh my god, what's wrong?!"

She ran over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. I winced, and brushed them off.

"That hurts"

Billie Joe stared at me with sad eyes, wishing that he could be Tre, wishing that he wasn't the one causing the problem.

"It hurts?" Rachel asked, confused

Tre looked up from me, and then to Billie Joe, his mouth slightly open. It has clicked, and as if he were a mind reader, he knew whatever had happened had to do with Billie Joe being drunk.

"It hurts, what hurts?" Tre asked, giving Billie Joe a death look.

"My shoulders" I whimpered

"Why?"

What to say? Oh, cuz Billie Joe got drunk and freaked out on me? No...although he would have deserved it.

As if the world was punishing Billie Joe...there was a knock at the door. Billie Joe stayed back in the darkness of the room, not saying anything.

"Mike?" Tre asked

Billie Joe glared at Tre, pissed off that everyone had to be over the house.

"Yeah bud"

"Come in"

Billie Joe muttered something under his breath, pissed off.

Mike waltzed in, and saw me.

"Mand-"

"Yeah, she's crying...find out from the fucker over there why" Tre snapped

Mike looked at Tre, and then to Billie Joe (or well...where he might have been)

"Billie Joe?"

Rachel let go of me, and padded over to where the lights were, flicking them on.

Billie Joe sat on the couch, his legs pulled up to his chin, with his face buried in them.

"Bill?" Mike asked, "What the hell is going on?"

Tre looked at Mike, and then to Billie Joe before back to me.

"Your shoulders hurt?" He asked me

I nodded, still crying my heart out.

Tre hesitated, before moving the shirt I was wearing, letting him see my shoulders. His mouth dropped open as he just stared at the mark that Billie Joe had left.

"You son of a bitch" Tre whispered, staring at the mark, "You stupid son of a bitch"

Billie Joe looked at Tre, not daring to say anything...

He knew he was in for it.

"Please," Tre said calmly, "Tell me this isn't from you"

Billie Joe gulped, but didn't say anything.

"You fucker!" Tre yelled

Billie Joe just stared at him.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled, still holding me, "Are you fucking mental?"

"What'd he do?" Mike asked, confused

Tre paid not attention to him, but continued to heat up over Billie Joe.

"Talk to me, dammit!" He yelled angrily

"I...got drunk" Billie Joe said in a small voice

"You got DRUNK?!" Tre yelled, "That's your excuse?! YOU GOT FUCKIN' DRUNK!?"

Billie Joe winced at his words, "I don't know why."

"Your fucking stupid! That's why!" Tre yelled, "Doing this to her! What the fuck did she do to you!?"

"Nothing"

"So you did this for no reason!? Look at this!" Tre yelled, "There's fucking bruises on her fucking shoulders!"

Rachel and Mike looked at each other, before to Billie Joe.

"What did you do, Beej?" Mike asked softly, "You hit her?"

"No" Billie Joe squeaked, "I...just...hurt her"

"You hurt her?!" Mike asked, now yelling instead of Tre, "That supposed to be better?!"

"No"

Rachel made her way to where I was, and looked at my shoulder.

"Oh my..." She whispered

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Tre yelled, as Mike also walked over to me.

Tre switched me to Mike, and stormed over to Billie Joe.

"This why you don't pick up when someone calls?!" He snarled

Mike kissed the top of my head, "Sshh" He whispered, "It's okay babe"

Billie Joe didn't even try to get Tre to stop yelling at him. He just wished that it was me yelling at him, because I was the one that he had hurt.

"You asshole" Tre sneered, "Doing that to not only your girlfriend...but your pregnant girlfriend"

Mike stopped comforting me, and just stared at me along with Rachel.

"Wait...Tre...what?" Mike asked, confused

"Little shit" Tre growled, "Doing that to her...when she's fucking pregnant. You see how hysterical she is now?"

Mike stared at me, his mouth open...Rachel the same way.

"She's pregnant?! You're pregnant?!" Rachel asked, her mouth wide open

Mike looked at Billie Joe, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Billie Joe looked from Tre to Mike, trying to get away from Tre.

"It...never came up" He managed to say

"Never my ass!" Mike yelled, "You don't tell me that you're having another kid?!"

Billie Joe looked from Tre to Mike, not sure who to try to get away from.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!" Mike yelled, "Remember me!? Hell-fuckin-o?! I've only been your best fucking friend since we were 10! But no, that's fucking fine, asshole! Don't fucking tell me that your gonna have another little kid!"

"Mike-" Billie Joe started weakly

"No! You're a fucking asshole, Armstrong!" Mike snarled, cutting him off

"Mike...I just didn't-" Billie tried again

"Don't even try" Mike snapped, "I can't believe you didn't tell me"

"Are you really?" Rachel asked me

I tore my head away from Mike's chest, to see Rachel looking at me.

"Yes..."

"Oh my god!" She shrieked, throwing her arms around me.

Mike looked at Rachel pathetically, before bringing me over to the stairs his arm still around my back telling me that it was okay.

"What did he do?" Mike asked gently, kneeling down in front of me, Rachel behind him

I shook my head, "He was just an asshole...came home okay. He was nice at first, and then he got something in his mind" I sighed, "He got pissed off because I wouldn't fuck him, and started yelling at me, holding onto my shoulders...which is why they have the bruises"

Mike scrunched his nose up, "Fucking asshole"

I looked down, feeling like a complete bitch for being like this. It was all blown out of proportion...well...that's what it seemed to me.

Mike hugged me, rocking us back and forth, "Congratulations...by the way" He said softly, "Your little kid couldn't have a better girl for a mom"

I looked at him, smiling but the tears still creeping down my face.

"It's true" Mike said with a nod, "Jesus, you look a mess"

I laughed at that, giving him a funny look.

"How is it that you go from telling me that I'll be a great mom to I look a mess?"

Mike laughed cutely, "I don't know...but hey...both are true"

I giggled, and shook my head, before nuzzling my nose into Mike's neck as if he were Billie Joe.

"Aww hun" He whispered, rubbing my back, "S'okay...look at the bright side. The 2nd day is always better than the first"

"God," I whimpered into his neck, "That is such a lie"

"How so?" Mike asked

"Think about it...4 days ago, day number 1 you can say...Billie Joe and I were perfectly fine with each other. 3 days ago Billie Joe got drunk and now look what's happening...so in my book, the 2nd day sucks the first day's balls"

Mike snorted at the last part, and shook his head.

"But tomorrow will be better" He said in my ear so I could hear him over Tre, and now Billie Joe arguing.

"Fucking dumbass!" Tre yelled at Billie Joe who stood there, his arms crossed.

"I didn't mean anything! Why the fuck are you fucking screaming at me?! Your not even fuckin' involved!"

Tre pushed Billie Joe back, "She's practically family now, asshole. She's grown on me, and Mike. So really, if your fuckin' stupid enough to hurt her...you're stupid enough to get Mike and I to come after you"

Billie Joe raised an eyebrow, "I'm already going through enough shit, Tre. It's not like I'm up dancing that she hates me, don't you think it matters to me!?"

"Not really" Tre muttered, "Cuz if it did you wouldn't have been stupid enough to do anything in the first place"

"I didn't want to get drunk! You brought me out-"

"I didn't want you to get drunk" Tre mocked, "I didn't tell you to go get piss ass drunk, and come back to try to force her into fucking!"

Billie Joe looked down, running his hand over his face, "I can't believe I tried that...Imagine if she let me? Oh my god."

"She won't trust you, Beej"

Billie Joe's bottom lip quivered as he looked back up at Tre, "I've screwed everything up"

Tre looked at Billie Joe, "Damn straight"

He looked at Tre hard for a moment, before collapsing on the couch, his head in his hands.

There was a silence between them, which Rachel was happy to stop.

"Why are Mike and I just finding out about this?" She asked Billie Joe, with her hands on her hips

Billie Joe looked up at Rachel, and rand a hand through his hair, "Rach-"

"No" She snipped, "That's shitty of you, Billie Joe. I mean...me is one thing, I'm new to this whole Green Day group thing...but Mike? He's your best friend"

"Rach...I just...I dunno...I'm going through enough shit, gimme a break, please?"

Rachel's mouth dropped open. She swung her leg, kicking him as hard as she could in the shins, "Give you a break!? Bastard"

Billie Joe grabbed onto his leg with a yelp.

"Fuck!" He yelled, "That hurt!"

"Good!" She snapped, "Maybe you wouldn't be in this shit if you weren't stupid enough to get drunk"

Billie Joe winced, before she kicked him again.

"FUCK! STOP THAT!" He yelled, grabbing onto his leg again

"Stop what?" She asked innocently, "Oh, this?"

Once again, for the 3rd time she kicked him in the same spot.

Billie Joe wailed in pain, grabbing onto his leg.

"Whatsa matter, Billie?" Rachel asked, "Not liking the idea of being hurt?"

Billie Joe closed his eyes, trying to make the pain in his leg go away, before looking up at her.

"Rach" Tre muttered, laying his hands on her shoulders, "Don't kill him"

If the world ended at that moment, Billie Joe would have been happy. His 2 best friends, his best friends girlfriend, and his own girlfriend were all against him.

"My leg" He mumbled to himself, "Oh god that hurts"

Tre glared at him, "Lucky I don't kick you in your fucking head"

Billie Joe looked up at Tre sadly, before looking back down.

"The world is against me," He said to himself, making it so no one could here.

How come people could kill each other, and yet their family would still go and see them in jail? Home come the very few people in his life that made waking up each day fun hated him for doing something nothing like a murder?

Billie Joe shook his head, before looking back at Tre and Rachel...although they were now over at me. He desperately wanted to be one of them, going over to me and holding me, taking Mike's place.

But he couldn't...because the reason that everyone was around me was because of himself...and as it stood, his life couldn't get much worst.

He watched everyone gush over me, me taking in everything. But truthfully, as it stood he was getting treated almost as bad.

Not that he was denying that he deserved it.

He just didn't get why it couldn't be said it done...he got drunk, he got stupid. Big fuckin' whoop. It wasn't like he beat the shit outta me, and then left me for the world to see.

Billie Joe sat forward, watching everyone.

"Just fucking leave me" He muttered bitterly, feeling his leg that was now bleeding from the 3 kicks that nearly made him cry...he hated it when girls made him cry...especially when it was because they kicked him.

Now he was bleeding. He was bleeding, after being yelled at by 3 people and pretty much ignored by the other. Wasn't this the life?

Now with his luck, they'd all leave...even me. Leave him by himself to wreck everything he could, to flip out about being left for the second time in his life.

3 kids would be leaving him, 1 unborn. 2 women, one unmarried.

But he didn't want to be left alone...he didn't want to go through another shitty heart break, another start over with another girl just to fuck up and chase her away.

He'd been doing a good job of fucking up. Not even Tre fucked up this bad...and it sucked for Tre to be the one telling him what a fuck up he was at the moment.

Although Tre wasn't verbally saying it. But he knew he was thinking about it. Everyone was. Not that it wasn't true.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

It would be so easy just to go up to his room, and just lay there for what seemed forever. Lay there until everyone left...no one would stay behind for him, and he knew it. He wasn't stupid.

They'd all go along, leave him to lay there and tell himself what a shit he was. Well, until the awards the next week when they'd HAVE to see each other again...he'd be alone...Mike would probably bring her.

It would fit. And the whole time he could sit there and act as if he would be okay...but really he wouldn't be. Because he knew that everyone hated him...making himself start to actually hate who he was.

Not that he didn't already. Because as it stood, as he sat watching everyone around me...he did.

But it was okay in a sense...cuz no one cared. He could sit there, hoping he would die...hell, he could stab the knife that lay on the kitchen counter from that morning he had used to cut a piece bread cuz he felt hungry after not eating for a while, through his heart and everyone would be okay.

Cuz he was just a drunk to them, a drunk who 'abuses' his girlfriend.

He looked as Tre said something to me, looking at him.

They were talking about him again...probably laughing at how much of a fuck up he was.

Yeah...they were, weren't they? Laughing at him.

Pretty soon they'd all start pointing and laughing at him. He was fully aware of how paranoid he was...but it seemed to fit in.

But he couldn't stand the fact that they were talking about it anymore. He slowly got up, and made his way over to the stairs next to where they were. He squeezed by everyone, glad that he had made it...until Tre spoke up.

"Where the hell are you going?"

He looked at Tre, "I'm...not feeling good...can't catch a breath...I'm gonna lie down"

Tre went to say something, before getting a brain again and standing up.

"Hey, Beej...don't freak out"

Freak out? Who said anything about freaking out? He wasn't. Oh shit.

Tre placed a hand on his shoulder, making Billie Joe jump. Tre looked at him, "Bill. Calm down"

Calm? Wasn't he calm? He wasn't freaking out...unless they thought he was...then maybe he was.

Everyone looked at him, causing him to shudder, letting the breaths get harder.

Any minute now, they were gonna laugh and walk out.

But that was okay. He was fine on his own. Perfectly fine...except for now. He wasn't feeling too hot.

"Billie?" Tre asked

And then she stood up and looked at him concerned.

"Billie?" She said slowly...it had been the first time she said something.

But he knew no one cared. They just didn't want to be responsible.

"Billie?"

"I'm not feeling good" He repeated again

Mike looked at Rachel, before also heading to where he was. Oh yay...now to add to how he was feeling he felt crowded. Dandy.

"Bill?" Mike asked, gently shaking him

"Don't shake him! Asshole" Tre snapped

"Maybe he's spacing out"

"Aren't we fuckin' smart?" Rachel snapped, "Billie, come on...you okay? Shit, someone shoulda been watching him"

He closed his eyes, not caring what anyone was saying.

"So, I'm gonna go to bed now" He said after a moment, not aware of the bickering

"Billie"

Who? Oh, him. Ha...little shit.

"What?" He asked

"Can you hear me?"

"No" Billie Joe snapped, "Course I can't...that's how I'm talking back to you"

The person sighed, "Come on Billie."

He heard footsteps, before voices. They were leaving him. He knew it, he knew, he knew it. How could they be leaving him? But then again, it was suspected.

"Billie"

There were a pair of hands holding onto his shoulders. They were gonna hurt him, weren't they? They were gonna cause bruises like he did.

But they didn't. They pulled him gently from the wall, but as soon as they did he made it so he was up against it again.

"What do we do?"

"I don't know...shit..."

"Shit.."

He opened his eyes, to see Tre and Mike standing in front of him. Breath.

In. Out. In. Out.

Breath fucker! Breath!


That would be the perfect addition to a shitty day...to stop breathing.

They'd miss him though...wouldn't they?

Yeah...maybe.

"Billie!"

He shook his head slowly, not liking the feeling anymore...not that he liked it in the first place.

Darkness. Oooh...pretty darkness...well, it was pretty if you consider darkness pretty.

There was no more voices at the moment...everything just seemed to stop.

He had never been so fucked up.