In the End

I had no idea where the hell the tears came from, but I do know that they ran down my cheeks as I pressed a hand to my lips.

"Oh..oh my god Billie Joe" I managed out, "Oh my god"

Billie Joe grinned up at me, "I was never kidding when I told you I wanted to start a family"

I just shook my head, a smile that was probably making me look like an idiot plastered on my face.

"Jesus, Bill..Oh my god"

Billie Joe laughed softly, knowing that the hardest part to proposing was over.

Getting the guts to

"I..uh..I..Oh my god"

There was a twinge of doubt in the back of my mind, telling me that we weren't ready for marriage..

But that doubt was also telling me we weren't ready for a kid..

Although, that didn't stop us.

Billie Joe still kneeled down, his arm still raised holding the small box with the ring.

It killed me how expensive that ring must have been.

He smiled in a confident way, yet it was adorable as he just looked up at me.

"Jesus..But I mean..are we ready for marriage?" I asked, my voice cracking as more tears crawled down my cheeks

"Do you love me?" He asked lightly

"Of..of fucking course"

"Then yes"

"But..but I mean...marriage isn't only on..isn't only on love...you..you have to be ready for the commitment"

Billie Joe nodded his head, biting his lip.

"I'm ready...otherwise...otherwise I wouldn't be proposing," He stood up now, wrapping one arm around my body, resting his forehead against mine, "We're having a little baby...we've..gone through shit and still either stayed together or got back together...I..I'd like to believe we are"

He shifted the little black box to his other hand, lifting his thumb up to my cheeks and wiping away the tears.

They weren't sad tears...there was no reason to be sad

They were just tears that most girls shed when they're proposed to.

I pressed my lips against his, moving a free hand to the back of his head.

He should have known by now...

I could never say no to him.

I tilted my head, looking down at the tiny box in his hand, looking at the ring.

"You..you definitely know what to buy for jewelry" I managed

Billie Joe grinned, a twinkle in his eyes.

"I know you perfectly," He murmured, "I know what you like.."

"Yes..you certainly do"

I pressed my lips against his once again, Billie Joe giving in to the kiss.

"So," He murmured, "Will you?"

"Oh..oh god.."

I pressed my lips against his once again, giving him the answer.

Billie Joe pulled away, smiling like a child as he slid the ring onto my finger, both of us looking at it.

I lifted my head from gazing at the ring on my finger, kissing Billie Joe's cheek gently.

To think I had doubted the marriage idea at first...

***

"Out of all the women in the world...why me?"

Billie Joe took his head from my neck, lifting it slowly.

"Hmm?" He hummed lightly, looking at me in slight confusion

I lifted my hand into the air, admiring the rock on my finger.

The sun peaked through the curtains in the bedroom, having woken both, Billie Joe and I up.

Billie Joe lay flat on his stomach, an arm lazily resting across my stomach, while he had kept his head buried in my neck.

I lay on my back, an arm raised as I admired the ring that Billie Joe had presented to me the night before.

"You could have..pretty much any girl..hell...even guy in this world...why out of all of them..me? The little bratty 'emo' kid from the airplane?"

Billie Joe laughed, shaking his head.

"Bratty emo kid from the airplane?" He asked, amusement in his voice

"Well..yeah...at the time I was so fuckin depressed cuz of my parents..and I was a brat..and we met on a plain"

Billie Joe gave me a lopsided smile, laughing softly to himself.

"You really are out there" He said, nuzzling his nose back into my neck

I sighed lightly, nodding my head, "I know..which is just one more reason that you love me"

Billie Joe grinned against my neck, "I know"

There was a comfortable silence that over came us, letting us just lay next to each other, happy to feel each other's presence.

Billie Joe lifted his head after a moment, looking at me with one eye half open, the other one closed.

"You look drunk" I pointed out with a laugh

Billie Joe sighed, dropping his head on a pillow before looking at me again, both his eyes open.

"That's better..now you just looked stoned" I said

He grunted, shaking his head, turning onto his side and pulling my body close to his as he wrapped himself around me.

"We do everything backwards" He mumbled into my skin

"Hmm?"

"You moved in with me before we were dating, you got pregnant before I proposed...we do everything backwards"

"It's..just cuz we're special" I answered in a small voice

Billie Joe smiled lazily at me, pressing his cheek against mine, his arm idly on my stomach.

"We're very special" He said lightly, taking my hand in his

I looked back at him, pressing my lips against his cheek sweetly, rolling over to face him.

"Member when we met?" I said after a moment, "Remember that?"

Billie Joe nodded his head slowly, "Yeah"

"That plane ride..." I smiled, resting my head on his chest, "Never though it'd get me here"

Billie Joe let out a small laugh, although he agreed.

"I...uh..I wasn't in the mood to fall in love at the moment," He said softly, "I mean..you know what I mean"

"Mhmm" I hummed lightly, "That's how I was"

Billie Joe sighed softly, his hand now resting on my waist.

"Nothing turns out the way we expect it to," Billie Joe said, talking into my neck

He lightly kissed my neck, nuzzling his nose back into it.

"I'm..uh..I'm proud in a sence, that..that we're together..because of all the shit we've gone through"

"Me..me too" I murmured

"Cuz in Hollywood..even though we're not in Hollywood...but..you know what I mean," He paused, "Couples don't usually last long"

"Mhhm"

Billie Joe sighed lightly, "That's different with us now"

"Yeah?" I asked lightly, barely even hearing myself

"It wont happen to us..we'll..stay together" He pressed his lips to my temple, "Forever"

***

"Joe?"

"Fucking..stop calling me that" I snipped angrily, swatting Billie Joe's bare chest

"Oh come on..it's your name"

"Billie..it isn't my name"

"Yeah it is..we discussed this earlier, babe"

*

"What's your middle name..not that I don't know it...I'm just having a brain..fart"

I looked over at Billie Joe, "A brain fart?"

He nodded his head, narrowing his eyes and sticking his tongue out to the side of his mouth.

"Brain fart" He said, his face still screwed up

I laughed at that, resting my head on his chest as we lay there.

"Jo-Anne" I said after a moment, "I hate it, too"

Billie Joe looked at me, quirking an eyebrow, "That isn't a bad middle name...it's like..I could call you Mandy Joe..cuz..the first half of your middle name is Joe.."

I sighed lightly, shaking my head, "I will never understand you"

"What?!" He asked innocently, looking at me confused, "Mandy Joe...it fits.."

"It sounds like a hill billy name"

"Ah yuck yuck"

I sat up a little, the duvet sliding down my body, an amused smile on my face.

"What the hell was that, Billie?" I asked, trying my best not to laugh

Billie Joe grinned, looking up at me.

"You said hill billy..thats the noise they make..Ah yuck yuck"

I laughed out, falling back next to him, my head landing on his chest as I curled myself against his side.

"Okay...well...If Mandy Joe is too hill billy-ish..we can cut the name down to Joe"

"Joe?"

"Joe"

"What the hell? Joe..Joe is a guy name, Billie"

"So?"

"I'm a girl!"

"So?"

"So..I'm..I'm not answering to that"

Silence

"Hey Joe..." He paused, a smirk creeping across his face, "Will you give me a blowjob?"

I shot up, looking at him, my mouth slightly open.

"What?!"

Billie Joe snorted, starting to laugh, "I'm just kiddin..that would so kill the moment..but it got you to answer me when I called you Joe"

I looked at him, unimpressed before sticking my tongue out and dropping myself back on the bed.

"I really am going to call you Joe," Billie Joe said after a moment, "That's your new nickname.."

I looked at Billie Joe, puckering my lips like a duck.

"You aren't serious..are you?"

Billie Joe nodded his head, "Course I am.." He paused, "Joe"

*

"I think Joe fits you perfectly"

"Shut up...no it doesn't..my name Mandy not Joe"

"Okay, Joe"

I sighed lamely, looking down at my hand, shaking my head.

Billie Joe slid into the same seat as me, his arms wrapping around my body.

"Well, listen Joe," He paused when I groaned, laughing to himself, "I..uh..forgot"

I laughed, shaking my head before resting it on one of his arms that was around my body.

I closed my eyes slowly, Billie Joe still talking, calling me Joe every chance he could.

"We've been so lazy" I said in a childish voice after a moment, "For the past 5 days all we've done is lay around with each other"

"Well," He bit the inside of his cheek, thinking, "It's cuz we're emotionally drained..yeah, Joe..that's it..we're emotionally drained..because I proposed..we have a right to be lazy"

I giggled into his arm, kissing it lightly, "Yeah..let's go with that"

He smiled lazily at me, resting his head on the back of the chair as he got more comfortable.

"Starting soon..we can put all those fucked up memories behind us," He said, nodding slowly, "Mhhmm.."

"Put all the shitty fights behind us" I added

"Yeah..yeah"

He shifted his body behind mine, thinking of the shit we've gone through.

"What's the..uh..worst fight we've been in?"

*

I'm not even sure how the fight started. It was just that Billie Joe had been in a pissed off mood, causing me to get in one.

"You know fucking what?!" He snapped, "I don't give a shit!"

I folded my arms, sick of yelling back and forth with him.

"I fucking come home from one asshole, and I'm stuck with you!" He spat out

"Oh yeah, and you're just so dandy to be around right now" I countered

Billie Joe glared at me, his fists clenched.

"I swear to fucking god, if you weren't a girl I would have tackled you already"

I laughed pathetically, "You'd probably miss me by a foot"

It was really never a good idea to get Billie Joe more angry than he was during a fight.

He was like an explosion.

And there was always that after-shock or something. Once you thought everything was peaceful, something would trigger in his mind and he'd just sort of..freak out. It was him feeling guilty, it seemed.

He hated feeling guilty, which is one reason why he hated fights..knowing that most of them were started by him.

"I don't have to fucking take this!" He cried out angrily, "I'm going in the fucking studio, okay?!"

"I don't really care, Billie Joe" I said, rolling my eyes

He gritted his teeth before turning on his heel and storming to the door of the studio downstairs, swinging it open and knocking over the vase of flowers on the table next to it.

He hated breaking things during an argument.

He stared at the vase for a moment before stumbling into the studio, pulling the door shut.

It was just one more thing to clean.

I sighed, running a hand over my face, walking into the kitchen and picking up a broom and dust pan, kneeling down in front of the studio door where I heard a bunch of obscenities coming from the other side while cleaning up the glass.

Billie Joe was sweet..but when he wanted to be, he could be a real asshole...

The phone rang, making me get up from kneeling, pouring the pieces of glass into the garbage can, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked lightly, picking up the flowers that lay on the ground, bringing them into the kitchen and washing my hands

"Hey hun"

I smiled to myself, looking down.

"Hey Mikey"

"I..uh..I don't know if I'm too late, but Billie Joe is in a really bad mood"

"Thanks Mikey..but I found that out already"

"Oh..sorry"

I laughed softly, "It's okay, Mikey..you didn't do anything"

Mike said something, but I didn't hear it because of the front door slamming shut. I turned my head, walking over to the window to see Billie Joe's car pull out of the driveway, and going down the road.

"This sucks," I muttered

"Hmm?"

"Billie Joe is being a bitch"

I leaned against the counter, talking to Mike for a while until I told him I was going to bed, which was really a lie.

I would try to go to bed, but I wouldn't be able to until I knew that Billie Joe was safe.

So I stayed up..late into the night watching the freaking Travel channel that had something on about ghosts.

And I'll be the first to admit..I was scared.

It was when I had glanced at the clock, the numbers glowing 1:23 that I heard a knock on the door and a car speeding off.

I made my way down the stairs and to the door, pulling it open to see a pissed looking Billie Joe.

His eyes were bloodshot as he stared at me, looking like a lost dog. His hair stuck up in what looked 15 different directions whilst he leaned against the door for support, his legs wobbling.

My eyes traced his figure before falling upon a blood red rose that sat clutched in his hand, in which was pushed against his chest.

His chest heaved up and down as he became more nervous, watching me stand before him, expecting me to yell at him..to disown him, in a way.

"I'm..I'm..I'm..I'm shorry" He stuttered, slurring his words, his voice squeaking

I had wanted so bad to yell at him. To tell him that he was an asshole, and that coming home and yelling at me was a really shitty move..but fucking hell..I couldn't.

Billie Joe outstretched the hand with the rose, it shaking like mad.

"I'm..I'm" hiccup "I'm..I'm shorry..I'm..shorry"

I looked at his outstretched hand, Billie Joe still holding the rose, hoping I'd take it.

His drunken eyes slowly lifted to look at mine, before looking back down.

I took the rose from his hand, making his mouth open slightly as he smiled, his eyes only half open.

I placed the rose on the table gently, turning back to Billie Joe who was slowly sliding down the wall, his legs slowly giving out as the many drinks he had before took more affect.

I hooked my arms under his, lifting him up a little more, his arms slowly wrapping around my body for support as his chin rested on my shoulder, him moving his head to my neck, shaking.

"Billie...are you okay?" I asked gently, his body leaning against mine

"I'm shorry" He whispered, "I'm shorry"

Way to make me feel guilty..

I somehow managed to get Billie Joe, who was slowly passing out on my shoulder from all the drinks he had managed to bring into his body, up into the bedroom. I looked over his sleeping figure, pulling the duvet up to his waist before heading back downstairs, lightly picking up the rose he had brought home.

I stared at it for a moment, not realizing that my eyes were watering. I took in a sharp breath before smiling to myself, wiping my eyes on the back of my hand, and heading upstairs with the rose in my hand.

*

"Fight's..suck," Billie Joe muttered into my skin, "We've had enough of them"

"Mmmhhmm..but, you know..I..I always tell myself that it's better than my old home," I paused, nodding my head, "Yeah"

Billie Joe kissed my neck lightly, his hands on my hips while his legs were wrapped around mine.

"I like this"

"Like what?" I asked softly

"Just..sitting here..outside..talking..I like it"

"Ohh," I nodded, "Me too"

We both sat there, me daydreaming as Billie Joe smiled stupidly to some thought in his head.

He kissed my cheek gently, beginning to ask me a question.

*

"Mi-nor-ity!"

Becky groaned, before becoming quite.

"Mandy, you're my best friend..but for crying out loud..shut up!"

"I wanna be the minority!" I yelled into the speaker phone, jumping up and down on my bed

"I don't give a crap!"

I stopped jumping, smoothing out my t-shirt with a giggle.

"You know you do, Beck..you're just jealous cuz I'm so good at singing"

"Yeah, Mand..that must be it"

I laughed, shaking my head before finally sitting down on my bed, hearing footsteps to my room.

Being 17 had it's up and downs.

One up was that I had more energy than a 5 year old. A down was that I had a mother to yell at me about it.

The door to my room was knocked on, making me quickly tell Becky to hold on, turning speaker off before slowly opening the door, only poking my head out.

"What in the hells name are you doing!?" She asked, clearly annoyed at me

I smiled innocently, "Dancing"

"Dancing?! More like trying to knock the house down!"

I quirked an eyebrow, biting my lip.

"Mom..I'm dancing..if I were knocking the house down I would have a bulldozer..."

She glared at me, "Yeah..well...stop it"

"Okay..sorry mom..I didn't know it bothered you so much.."

"Of course it does! I can hear the god damn bed from downstairs! What do you mean you don't think it bothers me?! Are you-"

"MOM! I'm sorry!" I yelled over her, holding a hand up, "I won't do it anymore!"

"Good.."

I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door and walking back over to my desk that held my portable phone.

"Fucking bitch" I snapped angrily, "She did not hear the bed.."

Becky sighed lightly, "Relax, Mand..she's probably just in a bad mood"

I threw my hands in the air, plopping down in the chair next to my desk.

"When isn't she in a bad mood?!"

I heard a knock on my bedroom door again, making me roll my eyes.

"Who the hell- I mean, who is it!?"

Becky laughed, making me angrily tell her to shut up.

My brother pushed open the door, stepping inside and closing it behind him.

"Oh..hi Adam"

He chuckled, shaking his head before he lay on my bed.

"Oh no, go right ahead and lay on my bed," I said sarcastically

My older brother laughed, looking over at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Careful," I warned in a sarcastic way, "Mom might hear you on the bed..She heard me"

"There's a difference there..you were dancing"

"So!?" I cried out, "Minority was on Fuse! I have a right to dance when Green Day are on!"

Adam looked at me pathetically, shaking his head, and going back to watching the tv that sat at the end of my bed.

Someone was talking on it before Brain Stew was shown. I grinned, dropping the phone and standing up as Adam made a quick escape from my room, knowing it wasn't safe with my..."dancing"

I clicked for the phone to go back to speaker before repeating everything I had just done, only to a different tune.

*

I had been caught by Billie Joe within the first year doing my pathetic dances.

Those dances made me survive my home.

Billie Joe found them the most amusing thing since he had met me. In fact..when he had gotten drunk once, he told me he'd pay me just to dance like a complete moron. I asked him if he thought I was a stripper, paying me to dance..and he just gave me a blank look, clearly not understand what the hell I was saying.

He could be a funny drunk.

Hell, he could be the coolest person when he was drunk.

Billie Joe, that is.

One time he had gotten drunk and fallen down the stairs. Thinking it was the stairs fault, he turned around and kicked the hell out them.

The next morning he woke up with a bruise on his leg...from the stairs.

He didn't believe me when I had told him that he tried to beat up the stairs.

Hell, I wouldn't have either...

Billie Joe was the first boyfriend I had had that I really enjoyed to be around.

He knew when to laugh and act like a kid, and he knew when to be serious.

Like he had told me many times before..

"You bring out the little brat in me"

Every time he said that I smiled.

I guess it was just because of the age difference.

I was still practically a kid in many people's eyes.

*


"Summer vacation, Mand! This..this is more than summer vacation! We're..we're done with school..and we may never see each other again"

"What are you talkin' about, Beck?" I asked lazily, flipping through a magazine

"Mand..you're going to California"

"Yeah," I snapped, "To stay with my 80 year old grandmother who thinks my name is Martha"

She laughed at that before sighing, "But..what if you meet someone in California?"

"Yeah?" I asked, shutting the magazine, "Like who? Who the hell am I gonna meet in California that's gonna keep me away from my best friend back in Connecticut?"

She giggled lightly at that, "I..I dunno, Mand..but it's the end of school, you're going to a whole new state..you're gonna meet so many guys"

"Beck..I highly doubt I'll like any of them," I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn't see me, "Guys are assholes..I'm starting to dislike them. And besides, if they're all arseholes in Connecticut, I'm sure they won't be that different in California"

"I'm just..scared..I don't like change..You gotta promise me..you gotta promise me that we'll always be best friends, and nothing will change over the summer..you gotta promise me you'll return"

"I promise Beck..you're practically my sister..I would never just leave forever"

I heard a sniffle on the other line, making my heart drop.

"Fuck..my parents are such arseholes," I muttered, "I don't even want to go to California..it's gonna suck"

"Yeah..and it's gonna suck in Connecticut..fuck, Mand..you gotta call me every day so we can talk"

"You know I will"

I heard a short laugh come from the other side of the phone, "Since you'll be staying near Oakland..if you see any famous people..like..like Billie, Mike, Tre, even Adrienne..tell them they kick so much ass..and then see if you can get their autograph for me"

I laughed, "Of course Beck..but I doubt I will..my grandmother will try to keep me inside all summer...since she heard of skin cancer, she's been scared of the sun"

She laughed along with me at that, before sighing, "Mand..I'm gonna miss the hell outta you"

"Don't," I said lightly, "Cuz I ain't leavin..it isn't the end of our friendship of..hell..13 years...it's just summer vacation. Like that thing my brother told me..Once a Connecticut hill billy, always a Connecticut hill billy"

*

"I broke so many promises"

I'm not sure I meant to say it aloud..I just know that Billie Joe heard me.

"Huh?" He asked lightly, looking over my shoulder at me.

"Fuck..Bill" I whimpered, "Best friends for 13 years..and I come, meet you, and barely ever talk to her again"

"Wait..what?" He asked, confused as hell now

"The day before I left and met you..I promised Becky I'd go back to Connecticut..I promised we'd stay best friends..fuck..I haven't talked to her in months, and we were best friends"

Billie Joe smiled gently at me, pressing his lips softly against my nose.

"Baby, the best of friends split up. It ain't your fault. Most of my friends from school..fuck..I haven't seen in like..20 years..you can't tell the future..you didn't know we'd meet and hook up..you thought you were stayin with your grandmother"

I sighed into his chest, closing my eyes.

"I just..I feel guilty..I mean she cried the last time I saw her before leaving.."

"You had full intentions to go back," He said lightly, "So you didn't lie or anything...you just..you didn't expect to meet me, like I didn't expect to meet you"

I lifted my head slowly, kissing the bottom of his neck gently.

"Is it worth it?" I asked lightly, "Was it worth it..to..to fall for each other?"

Billie Joe looked at me, biting his lip, "Of course"

There was a silence.

"How long do you think we'll last?"

He looked down at me, smiling sweetly before pressing his lips to mine, answering my question like I had answered his proposal.



Lets go... don't wait... this nights almost over
Honest... lets make... this night last forever
Forever, and ever... lets make this last forever
Forever, and ever... lets make this last forever