In the End

Welcome to the World

Billie Joe's hand was resting on my stomach, his sunglasses making it impossible to see his eyes.

He leant forward, pressing his lips against mine.

I loved California, don't even think I don't...but the summers..I hated them.

That was the good thing about Connecticut, when I lived there.

The summers were hot..but nothing compared to the past 3 I had to survive in California.

They didn't bother Billie Joe, considering he had grown up there his whole life.

"I hope Tre gets a sunburn" I said, looking over at the drummer who had refused to put on sun screen.

Billie Joe nodded his head, " too..sorta..I just don't want to hear him complain"

I smiled lazily at Billie Joe whose face was clearly becoming sunburned.

"You didn't put anything on your face, did you?" I asked him lightly

Billie Joe looked at me, "Huh?"

I giggled, pulling the sunglasses off his face to show his whole face, except for where his sunglasses had sat, was turning a pinkish color.

July was horrible. It was hot as hell, and I was beginning to have worse mood swings.

Billie Joe barely left my side, and never let me do anything to stress myself out or anything because there was only a month or so left of what I was so sick of.

But I guess, if you look at it in the long run..In the end, 9 months of lending yourself to a small child was okay..

I dipped my foot into the water of the pool, Billie Joe sitting on one side of me, Rachel on the other.

Ever since the cheating incident way back when had blown through, Rachel and Tre stayed together...

I watched as a figure swam underneath the water before jumping up, making Rachel scream and fall back, Tre nearly drowning from laughing.

Rachel slid into the pool, going after Tre who was now trying to get away from her.

Billie Joe laughed watching them, placing his hands on my stomach to see if he could get a reaction.

It was just an easy, hot day where no one felt like doing anything other than hanging out.

Billie Joe pressed his lips to mine, rubbing my, as I called it, balloon of a stomach sweetly. He smiled at me, pressing his lips to mine once again.

"You look so cute" He said lightly

"I look like a whale" I mumbled

Billie Joe laughed, shaking his head as he draped an arm over my shoulders, pulling my body against his.

He kissed my cheek gently, smiling to himself, becoming lost in thought, making mini-cyclones in the pool with his feet

"Fuck," Billie Joe complained after a moment, "It's really hot"


Billie Joe took his arm from around me before slipping into the pool, dipping his body underneath the water before shaking the water out of his hair and eyes. He slowly wade through the water, coming over to where I sat, resting his arms on the ledge of the pool.

"You should come in," He said, flashing his trademark smile that was still irresistible to me.

"Oh yeah?" I asked lightly, biting my lip

"Yeah," He nodded, resting his head now on his hands, looking up at me, "Cools you down"

I watched Billie Joe for a moment, watching him close his eyes slowly.

Tre was on the other side of the pool, smiling like a moron to Rachel, showing that he had said something that probably wasn't smart. He looked over to see Billie Joe with his eyes closed before smiling wider, and slowly coming across the pool.

He put his head right next to Billie Joe's, staring at him, making me not help but laugh.

Billie Joe opened his eyes to see what I was laughing at, only to scream and jump back, going underwater.

Tre started laughing, and although I tried not to, I did too.

Billie Joe groaned, coughing the water he had swallowed from falling back, between coughs yelling at Tre.

" you" cough " suck"

"Why?" Tre asked slowly, "All I was doing was looking at you and all your beauty, Billie"

"Hey Tre?"

"Yeah, Bill"

"Do me a favor"

"Yeah, sure"

"Go fuck yourself, moron"

Tre started laughing, splashing water at the coughing guitarist.

"I swear to god, will die an early and painful death"

"Thanks,'re my best friend, too"

Billie Joe groaned, making a funny face before pulling himself out of the pool, making sure to kick Tre with water as soon as he was out.

I looked at Billie Joe, smiling at him as he sat next to me. He grunted, coughing a little more before looking over at me.

"Of course," He sighed, "You found that funny"

I smiled innocently at him, resting my head on his shoulder making him grin.

"Okay, you're forgiven" He mumbled, kissing my cheek

"I didn't know I was in trouble" I said childishly

" were"

"I was?"

Billie Joe looked at me from the side of his eyes, "I think so"

"Oh..well then I'm glad you forgave me"


"I'm doing what the doctor tells me"

"Oh come on, Billie never listen to anyone!"

"Yeah, well, the doctor said that you're to stay in bed"

"You suck.."

Billie Joe laughed, sitting down on the bed next to me.

I sighed, looking at my stomach, before Billie Joe.

"What if I get hungry?"

"Then I'll get you something to eat," He said simply

"Okay..well..what if you die? Then you can't"

Billie Joe looked at me pathetically.

"Are you telling me you want me to die so you can get up?"

I looked at Billie Joe before starting to laugh. He sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"No! But I was saying that if you somehow can't get me something, therefor I would have to get up"

Billie Joe sighed once again before lifting his body up and pushing me down on the bed.

"Well, put it this way..I ain't gonna die, so you aren't gonna get up"

I just looked up at him, slowly starting to get annoyed.

" isn't gonna kill me to get up..come know I hate having to see in one spot for more than a minute..I can't handle for however long this is going to go on"

He smiled stupidly down at me, his body leaning over mine.

"Well..I guess you're just gonna have to, aren't you? You're gonna have to get over that now, aren't you?"

I smiled mischievously to myself, looking up at him.


I placed a hand on the back of his neck, pulling his head down so that his lips were pressed against mine.

It always made Billie shut up.

"'s not-" Billie Joe tried, ""

I looked up at him, giving him a look that made him have to look away from me.

"You're're not going to act all seductive to make me forget about what I'm telling you"

"It's working though" I pointed out

"'s not"

"You fall more easily than I do" I said softly

"Fuck..I don't like you"

"Ohh..that hurt" I mumbled

Billie Joe stared at me for a moment, before lightly kissing my round stomach gently, his hands on both sides of my waist as he leant down to now press his ear against it.

He looked up at me, a smile on his lips before he looked back down.

I think this man had more mood swings than I did..


Billie Joe's hand rested on my shoulder, his bare tattooed chest pushed against my back.

I couldn't was just one of those nights where I couldn't sleep.

Within the last months I'd had a lot of sleepless nights. Billie Joe always ended waking up, either from a bad dream or to just simply use the bathroom, and would end up telling me to go back to sleep.

What if everything goes...wrong?

"Go back to sleep, babe" Billie Joe mumbled, stretching his legs and arms, opening his tired eyes, "'s only like..12:30"

"I can't sleep" I murmured gently

Billie Joe sighed gently, propping his body up to look at me, his eyes slightly closed, him trying not to fall back asleep.

" wanna talk then?" He asked softly, his voice showing that he wasn't going to be awake for much longer

I smiled at Billie Joe, kissing him gently, shaking my head.

"Go back to sleep, look as if you're gonna die if you don't"

He yawned, sliding his small body under the duvet more, draping his arm around me.

"Mmk..I'll do need to get sleep," he paused, yawning once again, "Cuz..if're gonna be tired and.."

And then there was a snore.

I laughed to myself, shaking my head gently before wriggling myself from his arms, placing my feel on the ground, my arms on either side of me so I could sit up straight.

Billie Joe groaned, shifting the way he lay, pulling his pillow down more before rolling over.

He lifted his head slowly, before turning around and looking at me, sighing.

"Joe...come on, hun..."

He placed a hand on my shoulder, gently pulling my body back so I lay back, my head on his chest.

"What's bothering you, hmm?"

I felt Billie Joe sit us up in the bed, him wrapping his arms around me, his head resting on my shoulder as he looked at my profile, kissing my cheek sweetly.

"I'm..scared..I guess" I whispered, shaking my head slowly

He smiled lightly at me, now wrapping his legs around my body, "I've gone through this two times, sweetie, and everything is gonna be okay.."

"No it's not, Bill..I've heard of these things..where..where the girl dies"

" won't die.."

"How do you know?! How do you know that nothing will go wrong?!"

He sighed lightly, pressing his lips to my ear.

"Because I'm me," He murmured gently, "I always know..."


I think I made Billie Joe feel bad.

I think I actually made him feel guilty when I started to complain more.

Although, it wasn't the complaining that bothered him.

It was the crying, and the yelling that got to him. It was when I told him I was sick of being pregnant, and I just wanted to go back and stop all of it from happening.

It made him feel bad..bad because he looked at as it was his fault I was pregnant, and to him it only brought us closer.

But although he felt a little guilty about it, he still smiled and tried to help me.

I yelled at him a lot. I got on his case all the time for the little stupid things he did..and he didn't yell.

This man had more patience at times than god.

There would be those times where I'd yell at him about random little things, and he'd just smile lamely, nod his head, agree, and then disappear for a while.

Never leaving the house. He didn't take the risk at this time with leaving the house. Usually, he would go downstairs to the studio in the house or into the bedroom, or I even caught him in the room I had stayed in during fights and shit, sound asleep.

I'd end up going over to lay next to him, wrapping one of his arms around me for comfort.

Billie Joe flipped through the channels lazily, me next to him on the sofa, my head resting on his shoulder as my eyelids slowly drooped over my eyes until they were closed.

The older man looked over at me, smiling at me before pressing his lips to my temple.

"You tired, hun? You didn't get much sleep last probably are"

I murmured something, rubbing my eyes against his shoulder slowly before yawning.

I felt his hand gently rest on my shoulder, his lips placing themselves to the side of my neck.

I opened one eye slowly, peering up at Billie Joe, watching his eyes look over me, a small smile placed on his lips. His eyes slowly lifted upward, meeting mine, the slim smile on his face becoming larger, his mouth opening a little so that he reminded me of a child.

It was at times like these that I wondered how we fought, how we yelled at each other, how we had split up for that short time.

Billie Joe sighed lightly, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, his lips pressing themselves to my neck.

"I love you," He said softly into my neck, gently pushing me back against the arm of the couch, placing a hand on my stomach, "So much"

I felt a smile appear on my lips, my head tilting to the side as I looked at him.

"You know," He started, "When I met gave off that innocent, little teenager vibe" He paused, leaning over me, his lips barely brushing my cheek as he spoke

"I was never who you thought I was," I mumbled, "I was never innocent...just shy

"Well..that didn't last long"

I smiled up at him, resting a hand on the back of his neck.

"Thats only didn't give me time to be shy"

"Mmm..okay sweetie"


I woke up with a start, my hand moving immediately to my stomach. I winced, a small groan slipping through my lips.

Billie Joe shifted his body next to me, mumbling something before turning over.

I sat up, placing my hands on my stomach, my eyes widening at the wave of pain that overcame me.

"Stop," I grumbled to myself, "Please..fuck..stop it"

Another wave of pain overcame me, making me groan, feeling as if someone was punching me in the stomach over and over again.

The baby had kicked I knew that feeling, yes..

But in all the times, it had never cause this much pain.

"Billie" I choked out, "Billie Joe.."

I placed a hand on his bare arm, trying to wake him up.

"Billie Joe"

He groaned, shaking my hand off him before he sat up, looking over at me.


He crawled over to me, pressing his chest to my back. He looked at me, slightly confused.

"Bill..I don't feel good.."

" not good? Or..uh.."

"No" I cut him off

"Oh..oh..Oh shit"

His eyes widened, him pushing his body away from mine, sliding off the bed and pulling on a pair of shorts and shirt on quickly.

"Okay..babe..breath" He muttered, walking over to me quickly, resting his hands on my shoulders.

I think he was the one that needed to breath.

"I..I think we can get you there..I mean..the hospital isn't real far.." He mumbled, half to himself, before looking at me, "Are you okay, hun?"

I gasped, feeling the pain once again before nodding, squeezing my eyes shut.

"It's gonna be okay,'s gonna be fine, okay?" He reassured, his hand shaking slightly due to the fact that he was nervous now

I nodded my head, letting him pull me up and lead me to wherever we needed to go.


I never enjoyed hospital beds.

I never enjoyed hospitals.

They always had that smell that made me want to gag.

They had people with diseases, people in horrible conditions.

And as an understatement, I will say that I am not the best person with needles, or blood..and in hospitals..there is plenty of both.

Billie Joe lay so that his head was on part of the bed, the rest of him sprawled out on two chairs that were in the room.

"How'r you feeling?" He asked gently, resting his hand on top of mine, rubbing the back of my thumb thoughtfully.

"I've felt a lot better before"

He gave me one of his trademark smiles, nodding his head slowly.

"Mm..I'm not gonna argue there..but it'll be over soon, hopefully"

I licked my bottom lip, also nodding.

"I think the doctor was mad at us.." Billie Joe muttered, "I mean..he sorta snapped at he hates me..maybe he has a little kid who listens to our music and thinks I'm retarded or something"

I laughed lightly, "You really are self conscious"

He gave me a lopsided smile, shrugging, "I can't really help it..You're self conscious"

"Only with you"

Billie Joe smiled gently.

"Yeah. don't have to matter what I'll always think the same of you"

I blushed, resting my head back on the pillow, pushing a lock of hair out of Billie Joe's eyes.

"What time is it?" I asked softly

Billie Joe sat up, grabbing his cell phone off the table next to his feet before dropping it back on carelessly.

"Try to get rest, hun" He murmured


He sighed lightly, "It's only 2 in the morning..get some've got time"

I didn't want to have time.

I wanted everything to be over.

Billie Joe shifted on the chairs, knocking one over accidently, making him curse. He sat up, grabbing the chair before putting it back on the ground, resting his legs on it again.


"I don't want to do this" I whimpered

"It's okay, sweetie" Billie Joe murmured into my ear

One hour went to two..two hours went to three...and somehow..three turned to seven.

And that's when everything started. Billie Joe jumped up, running to find a doctor as fast as he could.

When he returned, he was with a few doctors. He rushed over to me, settling himself down, his hand holding onto mine.

"We're gonna be okay, hunny, we're gonna be fine..just breath" He looked at the doctors, getting a nod from one of them, "Just breath, baby"

"You try to fucking breath" I gritted through my teeth, "When you feel like this"

Billie Joe laughed lightly, shaking his head.

"I know..but much as you hate listening to're gonna have to right now"

I squeezed his hand, feeling a ripping pain cruise through my lower half.

"Sweetie, we need you to breath" Billie Joe murmured into my ear, "Just breath"

I shook my head, squeezing his hand more, making him groan lightly.

"Breath and push when you need to," The doctor said to me with a nod of his head

"Mmmkkk" I groaned

Billie Joe looked at me, pressing his lips to my temple, whispering comforts in my ear.

"It's okay babe, it's okay"

I nodded my head slowly, my eyes clamping shut as I gripped onto his hand.

I felt myself push, Billie Joe sitting next to me and counting.


I felt as if I was going to explode.

"Take a few breaths, and then repeat" The doctor said, before adding "1...2...3..."

Now I felt as if I was going to pass out. My head was pounding, my body aching already.

My head dropped back on the pillow as I closed my eyes, breathing heavily.

"You're doing great, baby" Billie Joe encouraged sweetly, kissing the side of my head, "You're doing great"

"" I whimpered

"Its okay, sweetie.."

"No it's not"

Billie Joe sighed lightly, "Yes it is, it's okay..I promise babe"

"One more time, hun" The doctor called out

Billie Joe slid one hand out of mine, wiping the sweat on his shorts before letting me squeeze the shit out of it again.

"Count to three" The doctor paused, before starting to count, Billie Joe counting along, his lips pressed to my ear.

"" He murmured gently

I prayed that this was the last one.

I squeezed his hand one more time, pretty sure that I heard a cracking sound from it.

The worst pain by far, out of everything and anything I've ever felt came over me.

And then as soon as it started, it seemed to fade.

My head fell back against the pillow, Billie Joe jumping out of his seat.

He kissed my temple, pushing a strand of hair from my now closed eyes.

"You did it babe" He murmured gently, "You fucking did it"

I nodded my head slowly, Billie Joe leaving the bedside for a moment as the nurses took the infant to clean it up. I opened my eyes, looking to Billie Joe who was grinning like a moron.

"It's a girl," He whispered, his lips pressed against mine, "It's a little girl, Mand.."


"We got ourselves a little girl"