In the End

Sickeningly in Love

Billie Joe and I sat on the step of Tre's house for a while. We weren't bothered by anything, it was pretty much just a moment of silence...the loudest silence there was...

Billie Joe sighed, and pulled me closer to him, making me smile.

"You know what?" I asked Billie Joe, resting my head on his chest


"You're a rockstar" I said, "You're the lead singer of one of the most famous bands in the world"

Billie Joe looked down at me, a little confused by my comment.

"I know...I have been since I met you...did I miss something?" He said, taking a loose string of hair from my face, and tucking it behind my ear

I smiled, and lifted my hand to his, entwining his fingers with mine.

"Do you ever think about how many people look up to you?" I asked, resting my head back on his chest, looking at his hand which was still holding mine.

"Yeah, every once in a while it hits me. And you know, it's weird. I'm not exactly idol like...well...not to me. I'm your regular every day guy..."

I smiled to myself, and closed my eyes.

"I always thought that when I was 20, I would be moved into a house in some place in New York, going to your concerts and listening to your CD's ...I never thought any of this..." I said, kissing him on the cheek, "I never did...I never thought I'd be sitting here, right now, this second"

Billie Joe smiled to himself, and then looked me in the eyes. "To be honest. I never thought I'd be sitting here either..."

"I thought I would have gone home after the summer"

Billie Joe shook his head, "Even I knew you weren't"

"We've been through enough drama...don't you think?" I asked Billie Joe
"In the past two days...way too fucking much..."

I smiled, and slowly shut my eyes. I hadn't had tons of sleep the night before, considering Billie Joe had passed out on top of me.

Billie Joe laid back on the top step, shielding his eyes of the sun, and holding onto my hand. I got up, and laid down next to him, forgetting that we were outside in the front of Tre's house.

I rolled over, finding it hard to keep my eyes open I was so tired. Except for me being dead tired, why couldn't every moment be like this? Why did Billie Joe and I have to go through the stupid fucked up fights to be happy again?

Billie Joe yawned, and turned to face me. He lifted his head a little, and kissed me on the cheek, before dropping his head back down.

"There you two lovers are!"

I looked up to see Tre standing there, his back hands shoved into his back pockets.

"Fuck off" Muttered Billie Joe, shielding his eyes to look at Tre

"Jeez, this is the thanks I get for resisting the urge to pour water on you guys"

Billie Joe sat up, and looked up at Tre, squinting.

"I'll be sure to remember you're little confession there, buddy" Said Billie Joe, sarcastically

Tre smiled, and walked back into the house. Billie Joe got up, lost his balance, and then helped me up. Damn Tre for ruining the moment...

I walked into the house with Billie Joe, and sat down for a moment before getting up.

"Where are you going?" Asked Billie Joe, who's head was buried in a pillow

"Bathroom...I bet I look like shit"

I walked into the bathroom just to make myself look presentable when I heard the door click shut behind me. I turned around to see Billie Joe turning around from the door, and smiling. A smile spread across my face, and I turned around back to mirror as if I had no idea why he was smiling.

"What are you doing?" He asked, leaning on the door

"I look like shit" I said, "And I didn't exactly think I'd be spending the night

Billie Joe folded his arms, and looked down. "Neither did I..."

I smiled, and walked over to him, and put my hand through his hair, messing it up more than it already was.

"Where's Tre?"

"On the phone with someone" Billie Joe said

"What about Mike?"

"Erm...I think he went out to get coffee"

"That's so Mike" I sighed, rolling my eyes playfully

Billie Joe smiled, and looked down at the floor. I leaned against the wall for a moment, and then went to push myself off, but Billie Joe had before me, and stood in front of me.

"Now what are you doing?" I asked, crossing my arms.

He didn't say anything. Instead, he pressed his lips up again mine, backing us up against the wall.

"You do remember we're in Tre's bathroom...right? The guy that has walked in on us making out and almost having sex before"

Billie Joe smiled against my lips, but still didn't say anything.

"Don't talk" He whispered, and then covering my own mouth with his before I could say anything

"We're in Tre's bathroom!! This is so wrong-" I managed to say while Billie Joe took a breath

"But yet, so fuckin right" He mumbled against my lips

I found myself giving in quicker than I had wanted to...but hell, it wasn't a change...Billie Joe had that something that made me give in before I had realized I was fighting against it...and well...he was sorta right...

Before I knew it, our shirts were slowly beginning to become undone, and getting thrown onto the bathroom floor. As Billie Joe began to undo his zipper, we heard the front door close to the house, and someone asking where we had gone...

"You know where Billie and Mandy went?"

I instantly knew who the voice belonged to...Mike.

"Uh...did they leave?" Said Tre, who was now clearly off the phone

"No, his car is still in your driveway"

I froze, and looked at Billie Joe. If I could have, I would have yelled telling him I
told him so...but right then I needed to by quite.

"I think Mandy went to the bathroom...I have no idea where Billie is"

'Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit' Was all I could think

I looked over at Billie Joe, who was still breathing heavily, and leaning against me, his arms around my waist holding me close to him. God...he really did manage to make himself look innocent...

"Is she okay?" Mike asked after a moment of silence

"I think so...I bet she is...just make sure..."

'No! Don't make sure!! don't. fucking. make. sure!'

There was the sound of footsteps, and a knock at the door.

"Hey...Mandy, you okay?"

Billie Joe's head snapped up at hearing Mike's voice. I don't think he had been paying much attention to what they had been saying. I was still up against the wall, with Billie Joe leaned up against me with his arms around my waist, and we were both shirtless.

"What? Oh...umm...yeah, I'm fine" I managed to say

"Okay, just making sure..." He paused and then added, "Do you know where Billie went?"

Billie Joe opened his mouth, but I covered it with my hand before he could say anything. "I have no idea...I'll help look"


I wasn't sure if Mike had walked away, or was still there. In a way I didn't want to find out. I looked back to Billie Joe, who was staring at the door. He looked back at me, right in the eyes.

"You found me" He whispered

"Oh god" I whispered, closing my eyes. This was like heaven and hell.

Billie Joe of those smiles that could have killed me right there. I could never get over his smiles. He leaned in, kissing me softly on the lips, before pulling away to get his shirt.

He picked mine up, and handed it to me before slipping his own over his head, and sighing.

"Mike will have a fucking fit" He simply said

I smiled to myself and nodded, putting my shirt on quickly. "Are you just gonna hide in here?" I said, laughing a little

Billie Joe smiled, and looked up at me, "They pretty much know we were in here"

"How?" I asked, biting my lip

"This is Mike and Tre we're talking about. Both of us missing, you being in the bathroom while I can't be found? They know" He said, nodding, "Tre probably
knew before he even tried to figure it out"

I smiled, and laughed a little. He was right...after all...this was Tre...

With that, I opened the door, sticking my head out of it and looking around. No signs of Mike or Tre.

"Come on, Billie" I said, stepping out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

Billie Joe followed me out, his hand on my shoulder. Billie Joe looked around,
and then just walked out.

"Hey! You found him! Or did you?"

Billie Joe and I spun around to see Tre standing there, smirking. How was it always him?

"What do you mean, 'Or did you?" I asked

"Don't think I don't know!"

I turned to Billie Joe, who looked at me. "Told you he would know" He whispered so Tre couldn't hear.

Jeez, I was getting sick of Tre and sadly enough Mike stopping us from something, and then taunting us about it. I was pretty sure Billie Joe was, too...but right now I couldn't be too mad at Tre...cuz...after was his bathroom...

"Where's Mike?" I asked, not even realizing I had asked it.

"Erm...I think he's out back"

"Didn't he say he was gonna look for Billie Joe?" I asked.

Tre shrugged, "No idea"

I looked at Billie Joe, who looked like he couldn't have cared less about where Mike was...I elbowed him, causing him to jump up.

"You owe it to me to be nice to him. And even this morning you were apologizing. You know, when you were puking cuz you got drunk last night and almost punched him?!" I whispered

Billie Joe looked at me, and bit his lip. "All right...all right...I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

"Thanks" I said, before starting to walk into the back

"I'm still not feeling all to well" Complained Billie Joe, "I feel still like crap"

"You should lay down, then" I said, stopping and turning to face him, "You still don't look too well"

"Hopefully I don't look worst than I feel..."

I smiled, and sighed. "Maybe if you don't feel good we should go home? I mean...if you feel like shit, the best place isn't your friends house"

Billie Joe nodded, and looked down "All right"

I told Tre what that we were gonna go back cuz Billie Joe still felt like shit, while Billie Joe was looking for something he could take that would probably make him feel better...and failing at it.

"Does anyone know where Mike is?!" I exclaimed to Tre and Billie Joe, who was just staring blankly at the counter.

"I'm here, why?"

I turned around to see Mike, who looked horrible, too.

"Where were you? I...erm...found Billie Joe," Tre snorted when I said that, making me kick him in the leg, "And Billie Joe wasn't feeling we were gonna go home, and I just wanted to say I'd see you later"

"Oh," Said Mike, running his hand through his hair, "I was upstairs...hellova hangover..."

"Oh, sounds like Billie Joe" I said, looking back to Billie Joe

"It's not to much the hangover, I think I'm gettin fuckin sick" He muttered, closing his eyes

"You were fine before...but then looked better before"

"I felt better before"

"You mean when you we-"

"Hey Tre, look, you're fucking face is on fire" I snapped, cutting him off

Billie Joe started laughing his ass off, every once in a while saying something to Tre. Tre was telling Billie Joe to shut up or soon it'll be his face on fire, and then looking sick will be the least of his worries.

"And then I'm gonna put the fire out with a fuckin wet brick" Snapped Tre, making Billie Joe laugh even harder

Once Billie Joe and I said bye to Tre and Mike, we left. I drove his car home, since he wasn't feeling good. He even fell asleep on the way, and the drive home wasn't that long. I turned on the radio, and sure enough Green Day came on.

"What the hell, he's sleepin" I mumbled to myself, and turned it up so I could hear it.

The song turned out to be Good Riddance. People never got enough of that song, including me. Before I had met Billie Joe I would sing it all the time. Hell, even then I would sing it. For some reason it was the one song that really reminded me of him, so it was the main song I listened to when he was on tour.

"It's something unpredictable/ But in the end it's right/ I hope you had the time of your life"

I smiled to myself, and looked over at Billie Joe who was slowly waking up. Of course during the song.

I heard him mumble something, and then saw him sit up, rubbing his eyes. Good Riddance was still playing, and he shot the radio and evil look, which made me giggle.

"Do you always do this when I'm asleep?" He asked, glaring at the radio

"You'll never know"

"I'll wake up some night" He said, smiling

I laughed, and looked back to the road. Within a couple minutes I pulled into the driveway, and helped a still ill looking Billie Joe into the house. He stumbled up the stairs, and flopped down onto the bed. I followed him up, and sat down next to where he was.

"Oh fuck" He mumbled, hoisting himself off the bed, and making his way over to the bathroom.

I slowly followed him to see him hunched over, sick. Was this the guy that pinned me up against the wall in Tre's bathroom a couple hours ago?!

"You really are sick" I mumbled, helping him up after a couple minutes

"I told you, I feel like shit..." He said, wiping his mouth on his arm again

"Yeah...Eww, Billie, don't wipe your mouth on your arm...that's just disgusting"

"That's the least of my worries"

I helped him back to the bed, and sat down next to him.

"Sleep will help" I said, laying down.


I put my head on the pillow, and stared at the ceiling. Billie Joe curled up next to me, slowly falling asleep. I wasn't tired, but I still laid there.

"Aww man..." I whispered to myself

Billie Joe's eye opened. "What?"

"You kissed me before..."

Billie Joe looked at me weirdly. "I've kissed you before..." He said, slowly

"No, I mean, I know...but you're sick..."

"I'm not that perverted"

"Billie! I didn't mean you're a pervert. I meant your ILL...and you kissed me...oh man..I better not get sick..."


I smiled, and sighed. "And then we're gonna have to call Tre to come over and take care of us"

"Aww fuck..."

I laughed at him. "You're friend comes over to help you, and all you can say is 'Aww fuck?"

"What can I say? I'm a nice guy"

I smiled, and sighed, putting my hand to his forehead.

"Wow, you are pretty freakin warm" I said, taking my hand off his forehead

"I knew I wasn't feeling well.."

"How long does it take the media to find out your ill?"

Billie Joe opened his eyes again and looked at me thoughtfully. "About...a day..."

"That's pathetic.."

Billie Joe nodded. "Mhm"

I stared at the ceiling, always...

"Billie Joe?"

No answer...

"Billie Joe?"

Now there was a small snore.

"Oh, gee, thanks. Just fall asleep on me" I whispered, "And in the middle of the day, too!"

All I got was a snore. I tried to pretend to be annoyed at him...but with one look at him...I couldn't.

"Night Billie Joe..." I whispered. " think"

I would have gotten up to get him a washcloth or something to put on his forehead...but I couldn't. His arms were tightly wrapped around me.

"It's a good thing you're asleep..." I whispered, "Because...I need to tell you this, when I'm not yelling at you..."

I looked at him for a moment, and then continued.

"But I can't seem to say it to you when you're awake...But I just needed to say...I love you" I whispered, before turning over without waking him up, and trying to drift to sleep.