Billie's Inspiration

That evening Amelie couldn’t settle and she knew it was because of Billie. He was next door, probably not ten feet away from her and she couldn’t get him from her mind. What was he doing? Was he eating? Drinking? No, neither, he was probably talking to his wife and family, talking sweet nothings with Adrienne.

God she could kick herself. What the fuck was she doing? This wasn’t what she’d planned, not at all.

She’d loved Joe, utterly and completely until he was taken away from her, snuffed out, taken away from her suddenly, just like that, before she’d even had a chance to say goodbye to him, before she’d even got to tell him just one more time that she loved him and always would.

She knew she was staying in New York for a reason even though everything about the city reminded her of Joe. She didn’t quite know why she was still here when it would be so much easier for her if she’d just gone back to her hometown but she was sure it had something to do with Billie Joe. The afternoon they’d spent together and him showing her his work and opening up to her had left her feeling, well, confused. She could even smell the lingering scent of his leather jacket clinging to her clothes. She sniffed the sleeve of her long sleeved T-shirt.

It smelled of him.

Billie Joe.

And it caused her heart to race and a butterfly to flutter in her stomach.

She couldn’t erase him from her mind, not just yet. But she would have to put a stop to all this, she would try not to see him again, avoid him where possible and then before she knew it he would be gone, back to California, to his family and wife.

Something which she’d never be a part of.

**

“They miss you Billie,” said Adrienne. He’d been on the phone for twenty minutes, he’d talked with his boys, spoken to them about being good for their mom, keeping their rooms tidy and helping out a little. Not once on that phone call had they said they’d missed him, in fact Billie felt Joey was more anxious to get back to his new computer game than talk with his Dad and Jakey was going for a sleepover so it was a kind of hurried conversation. He didn’t mind, he loved the fact that his kids led busy lives and weren’t moping around after him.

Not like their mother.

“They seemed OK to me,” said Billie walking over to the window that overlooked the park.

“Well they’re not going to say anything to you are they?” She said.

He wished he’d never called up because a little part of him knew he would get this.

“It’s been two days honey, I’ve been gone longer than that before. They’ll be fine and before you know it, I’ll be home.”

“I can’t wait,” said Adrienne. He hated hearing that tone in her voice, one of the reasons why he’d come away. She couldn’t get it, not the real reason why he’d come, to get away and to think about his future, to think about what he wanted, to see if he could come up with some good songs because it just wasn’t happening for him at home and if it didn’t happen here then he wouldn’t know what to do next.

“Hey, remember that song Adrienne I wrote that you loved about Dad?” Said Billie Joe deciding that he should may be open up a little to her, involve her.

“I remember, I loved it.” Said his wife.

“Well, I’ve finished it, properly finished it, I feel much more confident about it you know, I think we could use it,” he said.

“How come that happened?” Said Adrienne slightly disappointed that whatever Billie was doing far away from them was working.

“It just…it just came to me at lunch yesterday,” he said remembering Amelie’s hand on his own and causing a strange sensation to course through him.

He shivered.

“I can’t wait to hear it Billie,” said Adrienne. “ Listen, I have to take Jakob to his friends, I shall call you tomorrow, that OK?” She said.

She didn’t have to ask to call him, he didn’t mind that, she could just call him, whenever.

“Of course,” said Billie, his eyes fleeting over to the bench that he and Amelie were sitting on earlier when he’d wrapped his jacket around her and she’d looked up at him with her unique eyes. “Tell Jakob to have a good time, love you.” He said.

“Love you to Billie, our bed sure is big and empty without you,” she said and then he smiled. She hated sleeping in their bed alone.

Billie couldn’t settle after that, he’d flicked on a couple of channels on the TV then came to rest at a documentary about the twin towers and it reminded him once before of Amelie and the poor girls lost fiancée who had died in that devastation.

He vaguely remembered Tre telling him about his neighbour that had got caught up in the twin towers but he couldn’t remember any details. He’d remembered Tre going on and on about it for days after but Billie was caught up in the devastation too, so many had died and he’d felt it deep in his gut that he wanted to do something about it but he didn’t know what.

He decided to go to bed but he was restless, very restless and his mind was awash with all sorts of ideas that were bubbling around.

So he had to get up, write a few ideas down; get it all out just in case he forgot them.

It was 3am when he finally got to bed and his last thought when he hit the pillow was that he wanted to show Amelie his words.

Yes, he’d decided.

First thing in the morning he’d knock on her door and show her what he’d written.