I attend Hogwarts School of Martial Arts for Boys...and I'm a GIRL

I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
right jab, disengage
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent(nope)
I got a brand new attitude
circle around him, look for an opening
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Na an na na na na na
eyes on his chest
I wanna start a fight
I wanna start a fight
look for the slightest movement of his gui
So...
So what!
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
it twitches towards the right, he’s gonna come in with a sidekick, and judging by his style that means he’s gonna do a double and turn the last into a round house to the head
And I don't need you
And guess what?
I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you
dodge the first kick, grab his leg as it comes up for the round house
Tonight...
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So...
So what!
come in with a right hook
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
pull his leg up and take him down!
And I don't want you tonight
I use the pressure point in his heel to give me leverage as i push his leg against him
“Yield”
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“Well fought!” Liam gasps, as i help him up off the floor. “You’re getting better every day, Colie!” He goes to turn off the blaring workout music.
“Thanks Liam, I really owe it all to you, you know, if you hadn’t taught me since that day i looked in and saw you fighting, I’d definitely not be where I am right now,” I say gratefully, as i unstick my soaking wet shirt from myself. The fight must’ve lasted a total of forty five seconds, but after training for three hours previously, it still took a lot of energy. I untied my black belt, and went into the deserted locker room to change into my pink frilly yoga outfit. My family thought that i was devoutly practicing yoga and dance classes every day after school, when really I was going to Liam’s school of martial arts right before it opened.
Exiting the locker room, i see Liam pouring over some brochures.
“Wow, Liam, I didn’t take you for the studious type,” I tease, “After all these years are you deciding to finish High School?” Liam dropped out of High School 20 years ago when he was 17 so he could get a jump start with his career as a martial arts instructor.
I met him when he was in his late twenties, early thirties when i lost my mom and saw him fighting through a glass window. (Yes, he was the super hero!!). Later that day, while my mom was in the restroom, i snuck away and asked him to teach me, he was surprised at my resourcefulness (what can i say, i was a devious three year old, i knew what i wanted) and agreed to teach me once a week on saturdays while my mom was shopping (it didn’t take much to lose my mom, once she started shopping she forgot all about me). After a few years the once a week lessons turned to twice a week, which turned to four times a week, and when i could finally drive myself around, i came everyday.
“Nah, I never was one for maths and sciences and all the other shit they say your future depends on. What does a forty year old man need school for anyways?” He said jokingly.
“No kidding, wish i could drop out like you,” I say, no longer joking. I hate my boarding school HO Academy. (Helen Orville’s Academy for Ladies of High Society aka whore central).
“You gonna go to another year of that prissy boarding school? I’m telling you, weekend lessons during the year weren’t enough,”
“Tell me about it, I didn’t enjoy the two hour train ride there either.”
“Hey, take a look at this brochure, its Hogwarts School of Martial Arts”
“Umm, no offense, but I'm not that huge a fan of Harry Potter, and I don’t need to take lessons from some nutcase who loves it enough to name their school after it,” I laugh. “Besides, its an all boy’s school, I’m a 15 year old girl today I highly doubt they’d let me in”
“Think about it though, the master, Master Megumi, sounds like a nut-job. He can barely spell anything in this brochure, but i’ve heard of him. He’s one of the best instructors in the country. If he had better marketing skills, and believed in competing he’d be world renown, I only know him because i was lucky enough to go to one of his seminars a while back when i was young.”
“So? I’m still a girl, destined to be a HO graduate,” specializing in being a skank just like the other girls, then living a desperate life with a social ladder climbing husband, and the occasional martial arts lesson if my husband is nice enough not to care about me that much.
“So...I’m saying, that..erm...you’re not very developed yet...if you know what I mean. And if you wear a corset you could probably attend this school without anyone being the wiser. It’s very prestigious and many families send their boys their. Martial Arts is coming back into style. High Society families want strong smart boys, and this school happens to have an excellent education program as well, despite the idiot of a master. Consider it”
I choose to pointedly stare at the collection of bobble heads displayed on the wall behind Liam's desk, before carefully asnswering, “It sounds great, but I have to go, my parents are throwing me a party so they can show me off, and I have to get back before one of them sends a driver to the club before i get there. Seeya tomorrow!” I yell hastily, its already 6:30!! The driver they send me picks me up at a country club where i supposedly take my yoga and dance lessons.
I pick up the pace as i run out the door, pink gucci gym bag in hand. I meet the driver just in time. In the car, I forget all about boarding schools and disguises, and brace myself for what I know will be the same trying experience it always is...going home to the family.
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