Chasing Echoes

I stood backstage watchingwhorebag heartless bitch Allison Heartlyattempt to sing. Allison wasn’t horrible but she wasn’t great either, she was a Paris Hilton and Heidi Montage mix.

I truly didn’t even know why she was on tour with us and how she had joined in performing with us. I had put up with her snotty ass comments for two weeks now and I was ready to kill her. Honestly what Joe saw in her baffled me.

Speaking of Joe we hadn’t talked in a little over two weeks, we where even touring together. Every time I would get close to him he would bolt, it had become extremely awkward. I knew everything was happening because of the almost kiss, but I didn’t get why. Joe wanted me and would admit it then when the chance presents it’s self he runs.

“My god they should take that girls mic away.” Danielle laughed as she came next to me.

Danielle turned out to be an amazing friend and assistant to me. She was so attentive and always their when I needed her; we usually spent most of the night talking and laughing. Danielle always worked around my schedule so I could have a time to breathe and wasn’t always running. I even started to consider her my little sister we where so much alike, also we did look a little bit alike.

As much as I loved Danielle not everyone did, Mazz and Julia hated her guts. I knew Mazz was jealous I was hanging out with Danielle a lot but it wasn’t like they weren’t both with me at all times. But I was started to get worried that Mazz mite strangle Danielle in her sleep.

“Yeah if she gets any worse she mite get booed off the stage.” I laughed.

“What you guys talking about?” Mazz asked popping up next to me.

“HeartLESS singing ability,” I laughed at mine and Mazz nickname for Allison.

“I can see why she should be kicked off the tour. How in the hell did she even get on this tour last minute?” Mazz asked.

“I think it has to do something with him being her boyfriend.” I pointed at Joe as he walked by with Kevin.

“Probably, but I’m going to go find Nick.” Mazz smiled then bounced off behind the boys.

“She really loves Nick doesn’t she?” Danielle asked.

“Yes she does. Nick is her first love and they have been together a year and a half I think.” I smiled thinking back to when they first started going out.

“Well they are cute couple.” Danielle smiled and I heard a little laugh from her. “I wish I had something like they do.”

“Don’t we all.” I laughed.

“Well I need to go back there and make sure the custom people have your stuff ready.” Danielle said looking down at the list she was carrying.

“Ok see ya later.” I waved as she started to walk off.

I watched Danielle walk away with her head down in her clipboard, I was about to turn back, but I saw Nick Jonas texting someone with a pop in hand headed towards Danielle. I was about to scream but it was to late they had collided. I gasped in awe as all the papers and pop went everywhere over Nick and Danielle as they laid on the floor.

“Are you ok?” I asked running up to them.

“I’m good. Are you?” Nick asked Danielle as he helped her up.

“I think but my work on the other isn’t.” Danielle laughed lightly and Nick joined in.

“Kourtney get back here you have to get ready!” Julia yelled from down the hall.

“Got to go. Nick clean this all up and help Danielle would you.” I said as I started walking away leaving them to pick up their mess.

---

“Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause
I honestly believed in you
Holdin' on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Maybe I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings;
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause Im not your princess
This aint a fairytale
Im gonna find someone, Some day
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rearview mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse,
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
Whoa-Oh
It's too late
To catch me now.”

I smiled as I finished the last song in the set, then looked out at the audience, they stared going crazy. Julia, Jordan, Brian, and Adam all stepped up next to me, locking our hands then taking bows. Once the arena went black we took off running towards backstage.

“Dude we’re fucking amazing!” Brian yelled.

“Shut up Brian!” Everyone screamed in unison.

“Hey Kourtney,” A familiar voice said. “Can we talk?”

Everyone in the circle flipped around to look at the familiar stranger, my breathe caught in my throat at the glimpse of him. Shia LaBeouf was standing before me holding a box of chocolate and purple roses.

Shia looked like hell; he had a five o’clock shadow that made him look scruffy. His shirt was a wrinkled mess and his jeans where falling off him. I wanted to grab him by his shirt and lead him back to the shower just so I could give the poor boy a bath.

“What is there to talk about Shia? I already got the message.” I said coldly and almost scared myself.

“Kourtney please,” Shia practically begged.

“Why don’t you save it for someone who cares, maybe Megan Fox will care?” I snapped.

“God dam it Kourtney listen to me will you!” Shia screamed in frustration.

“Why Shia? So you can ignore me again then go fuck some slut!” I screamed back and went to smack him but he caught my hand.

“I love you. I fucked up I get it and I’m sorry. I spent almost 18 days without you; you know what I realized over them 18 days? I need you.” Shia said softly.

I melted right then and their, I know it sucked as far as apologizes go but the boy had followed me out here to Vegas. I know I shouldn’t forgive him but I did, we both made mistakes. I had run after Joe and almost kissed him twice, and Shia did gods knows what with Megan.

“I missed you.” I said quietly.

“I missed you to baby.” Shia smiled and his lips met mine.

I instantly replied and felt butterflies in my stomach again. This was how it was suppose to be, Shia and Kourtney not Joe and Kourtney. I rapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tip toes so I could deepen the kiss.

“I love you” Shia whispered against my lips.

“I love you to.” I said in between kisses.

---

I knew the tour bus empty for the night because everyone at the hotel so I took the opportunity to prove to Shia that I really did love him in the only way I knew how, sex. It would be my ‘real’ first time and I was scared to death.

“Babe, you sure no one is in here?” Shia asked as I closed the bus door behind me.

“Positive, I watched them all leave.” I said locking the door.

“Ok.” Shia said and instantly attached our lips.

As we kissed I gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him back towards the bunks, once we got into the bunks I slammed the door shut and fell against it with Shia’s lips still attached to mine.

I felt his hands slide under my shirt and start pulling it up as we made out. This wasn’t going how I pictured everything was moving so fast it insane, I always pictured myfirst second time slow and romantic. This was totally wrong.

I moved my hands down to Shia’s pants and pulled his belt off and let it drop to the floor before I started working on the button to his pants. After what felt like 10 minutes of working on the damn button of his pants he stepped in and just unbuttoned them his self.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shia asked pulling back breathless.

I really didn’t have an option I felt like I had to do this to keep Shia, maybe I just had to do it to prove to myself I wasn’t still in love with Joe. Either way I was going to sleep with Shia tonight and everything would be perfect between us again, I just know it.

“Yes, I’m sure.” I smiled and removed my jeans.

“Hot. Very hot.” Shia laughed as he looked me up and down like a dog wanting a bone.

“Good.” I smiled and pulled him down onto my bunk with me.

---

Horrible! This was freaking horrible, I was in so much pain. Having sex with Shia reminded me of when I was raped and I had to fight off tears every time he went in and out which was a lot. At first the sex was ok then he started this slow then fast shit and it became the worst experience in my life.

My perfectfirst second time was ruined. All I wanted was something romantic that was super slow and just peace full. This was pure hell though and I was screaming in pain a lot. I don’t even think Shia realized the screams were from all the pain he was putting me threw.
I fake moaned as Shia finally finished up, I had finished like 20 minutes ago. I let out a sigh of relief once he pulled out and collapsed next to me. Shia pressed his lips against mine and I kissed back just so we wouldn’t have to talk about the horrible sex.

“Babe,” Shia asked pulling back. “How was it for you?”

Horrible.

“Amazing,” I lied and faked a smile.

“Good, it was amazing for me to.” Shia smiled then climbed over top of me and out of the bunk. “Ready to go to the hotel?”

“Actually I’m going to stay here for a little and relax and clean up so just go without me.” I smiled.

“You sure?” Shia asked.

“Positive. I’ll call a cab when I’m done here and meet you back at the hotel.” I said.

“Ok.” Shia said putting on his shirt then leaning down and kissing me. “I love you.”

“Love you to.” I said as Shia opened the bunk door.

Shia looked back at me and smile and I sent a fake smile back to him. Shia walked off into the dark front of the bus and the only light I saw was coming from the outside when he opened the door to the bus. I heard his foot steps outside and I looked outside to make sure he was leaving.

Once I saw he was gone silent tears started to fall as I pulled my legs to my chest and buried my head. As I set their crying my mind kept flashing between sex with Shia and the night I was raped. Sex with Shia was nothing like I planned and if anything it made me feel more broken and hurt then before.

I heard my phone start to play and I snapped out of my mental break down, then grabbed my phone out of my pants. I saw it flashing one new text message so I flipped it open to see Joe JonASS’s name on the text. What the fuck did he want?

You’re such a slut you couldn’t even keep your pants on the first day your boyfriend came back in town. Also learn to fake it better because what you did tonight was horrible. I though you were a better actress slut. – Joe