Midnight Rain

On the second day of school being pulled out early for only an hour or two isn’t the best thing in the world. It makes people look at you as you exit the class room and then there is slight chitter chatter about why you were being pulled out early. I did my best not to throw up as I left school grounds and got into my Uncles orange Ford truck.

I walked into the office of my psychiatrist Mrs. Ware. She was sitting on a chair that sat next to a bright yellow sofa. Mrs. Ware was a middle aged woman with thick black glasses shielding her light blue eyes. She hardly had any wrinkles along her perfect face. Her long blond hair was tied up in a pony tail. She had on a black skirt suit with a white blouse and light red lip stick. She was pretty for her age and her smile seemed to tell stories that she had heard in her time.

“You must be Amanda.” Mrs. Ware said glancing down at her sheet then looking back up at me with a bright smile. Her teeth seemed so white against her, freshly applied, red lips. I nodded and took a seat on the couch glancing around.

The walls were pained a light blue with various strokes of white, making it look like foam from sea water. She had all of her degrees hung on wooden planks along the walls. She had a few live plant in the room; all of them a vivid green. The carpet was a light tan color. It looked rough by the bad stitching it had. I put my hands in my lap. I wasn’t ready to open up to a new person; letting them into my past. I knew it had to be done if I wanted to keep my sanity.

“You can call me Ashley if you’d like. I read over your records.” She smiled warmly at me like I was another one of her puppets while she played with my strings. I wanted to smack the grin off of her face. I nodded as I felt my palms start to sweat some what. “According to your file you have a mental illness that doesn’t have a name. Correct?” She asked looking up at me through her glasses. I, once again, nodded. “It says you are also on medication?” She asked. I nodded. She scribbled something down on a yellow note pad and looked at me with a slight smile. “Why don’t you start by telling me what happened that night.”

Sighing I nodded and looked at my hands. “I remember it was hot that night. The air was thick, it had just got done raining. Both of my parents were home. My Mother was cleaning up the kitchen and my Father was watching the news.” I felt my mouth go dry. I liked my lips and took a shaky breath. “I was eleven at the time. I was coloring in one of my books at the dining room table.” I shook my head in frustration. That was all I could remember besides the shrill screams from my Mother and the groans from my Father. I could see and smell the blood when I closed my eyes. I had the raw taste of iron in my mouth. I opened my eyes. “That’s all I remember.” My words were shaky and I felt my stomach turn into tight knots making me want to vomit.

“Alright.” Ashley said writing something down on the pad. “Do you remember how you killed them Amanda?” She asked pressing me farther with the subject. I didn’t like her being pushy and in all honesty I wanted her to stop and let me take my time with this but I knew I had to comply with what she was telling me to do. “Let’s start with your Father.”

I pulled my legs close to my chest and snuggled into the couch wanting to be as far away from this woman as possible. She kept looking at me. Her blue eyes set my skin on fire. I closed my eyes and took a few relaxing breaths. “He was sitting in the living room watching the news. I remember him grumbling to himself. He had yelled at someone for some reason. The next thing I remember is pushing my finger nails into his eyes and his cried of sheer agony. I grabbed the steak knife he had on his plate from dinner and stabbed him in the throat with it slowly bringing it across his throat.” I felt my eyes water as the tears had begun to spill out and down my cheeks.

“And then what happened next, Amanda?”

“I don’t know!” I screamed as the timer signaling the session was over. I got up from my seat on the couch and ran from the building. I stopped in front of the building. I felt the warm sun on my skin telling me I was alive again. I felt my body temperature rise. A cool sea breeze wrapped around me as I opened my eyes. I looked across the street and saw Brian and his group of friends sitting outside of the coffee shop in chairs. I looked at them for a few moments. They were smiling and laughing. I started to walk down the street towards my house. I assumed they were skipping for the day and thought nothing of it when I felt eyes burn into my back.