Loveless Hateful Love

Definitions to words:
Mama: A female being that created another being by biting a human or demon. For example when a female vampire bites a human that human will turn to a vampire and call the vampire that bit them Mama.
Tata: The same thing as Mama but male.
Geneza: A created daughter or son. For example when a vampire bit a human the human turns to vampire and is now called Geneza by their Mama or Tata.
Not used in this chapter but will be later on:
Sora: Sister. For example when a vampire bites two people not necessarily at the same time, they become vampires in the end they will call each other sora. As they come from the same creator. Only applies to female creations.
Frate: Brother, The same as sister but only for males.

Chapter 1
Madness

Ah, the smarting I felt was intolerable. My limbs felt as if they had fallen off, I had no control over them what so ever… My eyes, I wanted to open my eyes but I was scared of seeing my body. What if I had no legs or arms? What if I could not open my eyes? What if I had gone blind? Thoughts were rushing through my head, and suddenly I felt it… Why am I worrying? For the first time I actually wondered about what had happened to me, who I was, what I was and why I was in such a state. And the truth hit me. I did not remember anything, my name, my age- what was age? At the back of my mind I was conscious of what I was thinking, but when I reflected on it I did not know what it meant or how I learnt it and how to use it to start with. A feeling washed over my body, what was this feeling. It made my insides hurt even more but in a different way it was not physical pain it was mental as if it hurt to think about myself. What was it, s- ss- sss -s. could it be I was, s-sad? Was that the word for this torture my body put itself through?

I tied to calm myself, this ‘sad’ thing was not going to help me. I concentrated my thoughts on my eyes. My eyes. My eyes. My eyes. If only I could just open them a little, just a little bit! Even as my eyes struggled to obey my mindful instructions I kept getting the feeling that some one was calling me, a voice. So sweet and gentle and full of, no not ‘sad’ this time; the feeling was warm and calming. My mind told me it was a feeling that I did not experience a lot before I lost my memory. This feeling so unfamiliar yet so motherly, had given me the strength and curiosity to force my lids open.

The next thing that came… was more pain.

My eyes faltered from side to side, not being able to focus on anything. But all I could make out where red shadows- no not shadows everything was red. I tried to stop my flashing vision but then even more colours started to blend into my prospect. Blue, or was the word g-g-reed? No that was not it- greek, Greece, greet, gree-n. Yes green. To me this sensation lasted at least seven hours but how long it lasted really I was not sure. At last it stopped. All I had to do was control my dancing eyes. It took me some time but it was done. My eyes hurt now, some kind of liquid had formed and started to flow down my cheeks. I closed them without even thinking about it, and I wanted to scream. No, no not any more darkness! And as quickly as they shut, they flew open. But it was too late my mouth was already opening. I screamed, but instead of a loud sound I made a gargling noise. I started to spit out some kind of dark black- red water, it was thick and seemed to taste rather sweet. It was actually, delicious. Unexpectedly my head rushed, I remembered what this liquor was. Blood. All of a sudden my body flexed, I felt my limbs now. The muscles came to me, my left arm, my right leg, my fingers! It was all back to normal, apart from the pain- it was fine. My eyes searched around the dim place I was lying in. I lifted my hand to my face painfully- it was bloody, but it had all five fingers as on the other hand. “She’s doing well isn’t she?” It was the same unfamiliar voice I heard in my darkness. My eyes looked further, looking for the owner of the voice. It was a female, she had long hair but it was too dark to make out any other characteristics.

“A-argl-ar-gela.” I was shaken at the sounds I made, what I wanted to say was ‘what happened to me?’ but what I did say was unrecognisable. “Do not worry, darling you will be fine. When you wake up again you will be back to normal. Do not worry if you cannot remember anything it will all come back as soon as you awaken.” She seemed to understand me perfectly, and that calmed me. I trusted her. I felt her hand touch mine. She felt so delicate but to my dismay I thought that her skin was not as smooth as mine. I stared deep into what I thought were her eyes. I felt a prickly feeling in the bend of my arm; a blankness washed over my mind, my pain, my thoughts. What was this called?

Hmmm, I wondered if this was sleepiness. My vision blurred and my breathing slowed, so did my racing heartbeat. I fell asleep holding this persons hand tightly like a baby.

“She has been sleeping for three weeks now, its unbelievable how much she’s changed. will she be alright when she wakes up? It should be any moment now shouldn’t it.” A voice said. “Hmm, her pulse has quickened. I can imagine she can hear us now but still cannot move. This is the final stage. Are you sure you can do it, are you sure you want to see it. I’ve seen many go through the Maddening Stage but never one like this, she’ll have a lot of pain to deal with. She might go insane, she may be traumatized. I looked over her body structure, it will be quick. They will struggle to come out but they will build enough energy to burst through. She will be scarred, minor though. And have you seen this? The sheer size of them? I’ve never seen anything like this. She is so unique.” Another deeper voice spoke. “I see. But I still want to be here, I am the one who started her. I will raise her like my daughter, no matter what she will come to be.” It was the first voice again that spoke.

“Oh my God, Justicia! It started.” The second voice cried out, I heard know he was a man. I could hear footsteps, or maybe running. “Is she alright?” This was a female voice. It was The voice. The voice that caressed me through my long sleeps in darkness. I knew it was her and I longed to look into her eyes that filled my dreams. I knew who she was, she was my Mama and that man, the man who spoke to her now was someone important too. But slowly I stopped thinking of my Mama and him, they slipped away or rather were pushed away as something else settled in to face me. A current tickled at my muscles, this unpleasant feeling abruptly turned to a voltage of burning that spread throughout my whole body. I panicked. I heard a quick beeping that sounded like a machine. “Oh no, NOOO!!! Do something!!!! Do something, what’s happening to her?” Mama shrieked continuously at her companion. But I knew he could do nothing. My eyes flew open. I saw a white ceiling but I had no time to look around as my body lunged forward without my consent. The pain was maddening me. My hands flew to my back, as if trying to protect it, but then my nails started to scrabble through my clothes and then through my skin. Blood burst out, and danced along my fingers. “Kyyaaaaaa!!!” Mama! Mama don’t cry, don’t worry Mama ill be fine. But I had not even enough courage for myself as I heard my bones cracking. It was not painful though, the pain came from the skin and something that was entangled in my bones. Rapidly the aching intensified. And I was no longer able to control myself. My mouth opened wide, letting out a hollow screeching howl. The sound went on changing notes, morphing into different sounds and pitches. And then, I thought I was going to die. My back…broke.

“Gaaaahh, argghhyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It was excruciating. To my astonishment I didn’t fall over, nor did I die. I felt strangely heavy, and toppled over to my side, falling off the tall bed I was asleep on. “Ah no!” Mama, it was Mama. I could smell her. What? What was I saying? Smell her? That was imposs- ah! That sweet scent of the liquor that I once tasted filled my mouth. Surrounding my tongue and filling my head with only thoughts of…blood. I looked up, two strong arms were helping me up. It was not Mama, it was the male being; but the thought of blood controlled my every muscle. My hand reached up to the man and caught him by the hand. This would be enough. I started to move my head close to the warm arm. “No sweetheart, you don‘t bite there. You have to bite here.” The man cupped my face between his hands and pushed it toward his neck. At that moment I knew what I had to do, my body did anyway. My mouth stretched wide open and I bit down hard. The teeth sank in between the delicate liquorish flesh. My head span, my heart started to pound and my grip tightened on my prey. My prey. Yes he was my prey. But there was something about this man that defied that name. His blood whispered to me. I tasted his feelings and thoughts. Now I remembered all about feelings and how bad they could be. I could feel authority and respect building up in this person. But there was something else, he and Mama were entwined. His blood was full of Mamas venom; her thoughts, his thoughts were both mixed up. They were inseparable.
“Sweetheart, that’s enough. Your body is still young you won’t be able to cope like that.” I could feel something pulling me away from my prey. MY prey!!! I let go of him twisting my head, and lunged at whatever was trying to pick at my prey. My eyes where completely covered with blood. I let out a snarl that started from deep inside my throat. I did not see what it was but I did not care, it was my prey! “Geeeeraaahhhaaaa!!!!” I caught the things’ neck between my hands and squeezed with all my strength. “Stop it!

Sweetheart stop it, that’s you Mama! Remember? That‘s your Mama!” My head was crazy, mad. Nothing matters, not even Mama! Blood, blood, I want blood!!! “Darling, please stop darling. Your hurting Mama.” It was a sweet voice. The voice, the voice that belonged to my Mama. “M-ma-mama?” My hands wondered to my eyes, wiping off the blood. “”Mama I’m so-rry.” I managed to squeak out. “Its all right now isn’t it my Geneza.” Mamas hands touched mine. “Hmm, Mama.” I placed my head on her chest and sniffed, Mama was so forgiving. “Justi, show her.” It was the man who whispered. I turned my head slightly to look at him. He was very tall, he had beautiful large amber eyes with amazing eyelashes surrounding them. His black hair was long but it was sorted into a ponytail that was all they to his waist. He was very handsome, a good person for Mama. She was very pretty too. She had shorter hair then him just a bit and her eyes where completely black with little light brown bits surrounding the pupil. Everything abut these people seemed to dazzle me.

“Come Geneza. You must see yourself and accept yourself for what you are.” Mamas words scared me a little, she herself was a little worried. I stood up from the floor, but I was very heavy. I felt a wet feeling on my back, I reached to touch it but instead of skin or clothes I felt a serpent like texture running across my fingers. I screamed. “Mama what is that? What is on my back? Mamaaa!!!!!!” I tugged at her in desperation, but she just stared at me pitifully, while her mate turned something gigantic and flat towards me. He uncovered it and I froze.

What I saw was both horrifying and enchanting. A pale girl,with hair as long as her whole body stood in front of me. Her white hair curled gorgeously in places forming waves around her bloody face. Her skin was nearly see through it was so fine and dazzling, the most gentle. Despite the blood though, her face was even more aptivating. Her eyes had dark outlines around the lids giving them a catlike appearance as I she had make up on but she didn’t; her irises were completely red- so blood red it hurt to watch. Her eyebrows fell gracefully across her forehead, a perfect frame for her perfect face. The girl had a flawless nose and mouth, a little mouth that was dirtied with blood, she opened her it slightly and you could see the sharpest teeth possibly imaginable. You could have mistaken them for tiny brilliantly white daggers, but for teeth they were long. I scanned her body; every part of her was faultless, she had long slender arms and legs. The only thing that was out of place were the two absolutely ginormous bat wings that were stretching out of her back. The wings were still covered in blood. And then I understood- the broken back, the agonizing pain. The wings were at least two metres in height and one and a half metres in length when closed. The girl’s wings seemed to shimmer in the dim light, coming out of the window. The crismon wings twitched a bit then spread wide open, pushing Mama and her mate to the side violently. They were strong, oh so strong. The girl was so stunning I felt weak. I looked at the wings, then at the eyes, the at the wings again now outstretched. I would say that each one was three and a half metres in length; together the girl had a wingspan of approximately seven metres or more.

This girl, what was she??? Mama stood back up and placed a hand on my shoulder, the girl was so, so, so much more beautiful then her.

This girl, was me.

“Will you accept yourself? Will you accept that you are a hybrid between three beings? Ou are a vampire, demon werewolf. You are know as a Varcolac. Will you accept me as you Mama and Dittany as your Tata?” Mama pointed toward her mate, Dittany, who was still lying on the floor from the push. He was definitely human. My mouth felt dry of words.

And suddenly I knew that this was going to be a new life for this body- I did not know who I was but I would know soon enough; Mama promised I would get my memory back and I trusted her. “Yes Mama, Tata!” I looked again towards the mirror and closed my strange yet astonishing wings. “But, do I have to have the wings forever? They are heavy!” I asked childishly. Mama and Tata both laughed. “No sweetheart, you will be able to control them very soon. You will be able to hide them inside your back as if they never existed, and you won’t feel heavy either. You only feel heavy now because your body is not used to it yet. And they will grow even bigger when you get stronger, they will grow to twice their size! And of course if you are strong enough you will be able to control the colour they are!” Tata was kind too, he talked to me like a child, both of them did. But for some reason I felt like one. Maybe because of my lack of memories. It did not really matter, all would explain itself soon- I knew that.

So I had a Mama, people call others ‘Mama’ if that person created them, basically bit them, like she did with me; and I had a Tata, I knew he was not my real Tata because he was human and my Mama was werewolf so my real Tata had to be vampire to have been able to create a varcolac like me. But I loved Dittany already, I would treat him like a Tata anyway, I promised myself and Mama that I would accept him too.
And so I had become a Geneza, the created daughter of a Mama and a Tata. But because I didn’t know my real name yet they just called me ‘Geneza’, daughter creation. I no longer had to sleep in the darkness alone.

I looked at Mama and the Tata. “Am I the only one?” Something that I had heard when I was asleep fought its way to me, and that questions ahd to be asked. Was I different from everyone other varcolac? Was there any other varcolacs on earth? They fell silent, both of them.

Was I… alone?