Lyrical Love Letter

Although it appeared to be alls quiet and well within the pent house suit on the top floor of the Ritz, but something very silent and very secretive was going on. The night was filled with multiple rounds of what could only be described as musical…rooms.

Alex had long sense invaded Juliette’s room, shamelessly yelling, “If any of you assholes knock on this door you’re going to regret it. It’s Happy Hour for Alex and Juliette and none of you sexually frustrated kiddies are invited!” Juliette had promptly thumped him on the head but closed the door giggling all the same as they slipped beneath the concealment of blankets.

Jack had been periodically knocking on a stubborn and defiant Missy Taylor’s door all throughout the night, hoping to gain entrance to the locked room with no avail. Of course that didn’t stop the poor boy from continuously trying.

Rian and Kara remained blissfully ignorant to the mute activities of the night taking place outside their door. They slept within the comfort of each other’s arms knowing that whatever happened they would always have the other to turn to.

Zack and Jonnie were both wide awake and wishing other wise. The awkwardness that hung in the air was strangling the two as they sat statue-like on Jonnie’s bed exactly 3 feet apart. Zack had gone about the same route Jack had and knocked quietly on Jonnie’s door; the only difference between Zack and Jack was that Zack had been granted access into the room of the girl he cared about more than he would ever admit.

“Are you worried about seeing your father?” It was the first thing either of them had said in the fifteen minutes that they had been in the room together. Zack’s hazel eyes would flicker to Jonnie and then look away while Jonnie’s eyes remained fixated on her hands clasp together in her lap.

“I can handle my father,” She smiled bitterly. “If there is one person who can’t handle me however, it’s him.” She played with her fingers in her lap nervously, an absentminded habit that had always plagued her. “I’m glad you’re here though.” She admitted in an afterthought, refusing to look at Zack. “I mean, of course I’m happy Sunny is here but she’s in her own little word with Alex. Then there is Jack and Missy…who the hell knows what is going on with those two. Plus Kara has Rian and the two of them are just making me sick.”

Zack was silent for a moment but even though she refused to face him, Jonnie could hear the smile in his voice. “What are you trying to say?”

“I don’t know…” She chagrined. “Nothing I s’pose.”

“Well,” He commented. “If its any consolation, I’m glad I’m here too.”

Her eyes flickered to him in surprise.

“Really?” To be honest, Jonnie hadn’t been sure on where Zack stood with this trip. Afterall, Alex had come for Juliette, Jack loved a joy ride and Missy was a plus, Missy herself was there soley for Jack, and Rian and Kara where just there for each other.

Zack nodded mutely as he shifted slightly, his knee brushing hers.

“You know,” He began quietly. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened in the closet back at the motel.”

“Zack,” She murmured but trialed off, her mouth running dry. She wanted to say something, anything but her mind was running a blank. She wanted to tell him that the last person he should want to get involved with was her. But she also wanted to tell him how much she wanted him and how she hoped that he wanted her too.

Zack smiled, “You know,” He began. “You spend an awful lot of time trying to protect the ones you love. You put everyone else first and you don’t even realize it because you spend so much time perfecting this badass blasé front of yours.” He was silent for a moment as he studied her reaction, his eyes becoming lost in her perfect ocean blues. “What do you want, J?” He wondered softly, cocking his head to one side. “Forget about everything outside of this room, forget about what you think is best for me. What do you want?”

Jonnie swallowed hard as she gripped the off white sheets beneath her in an attempt to stop her trembling hands. Jonnie’s heart was racing and she was pretty sure that at any moment her heart would stop all together.

Great, she thought to herself Death by nervousness. That’s just what I fucking need right now.

She licked her chapped lips, her mind screamed at her to say something, anything. The problem was that Jonnie had developed a contingency type mind set; she constantly thought of the outcome of everything. Jonnie thought of all the different ways these next few moments would go. She thought of what would happen if this ended badly—two more weeks of awkwardness at best. She thought of what would happen if she gave into the naughty voice inside her head—again, possibly awkward with a hint of hope for a happy ending. She imagined Juliette’s reaction and the teasing from the guys, did she really want to endure that?

“I…” She bit her lip hesitantly, her eyes falling to her lap in embarrassment. Zack hardly knew her at all, if he did know the real her, her past and the things she had done, would he still be sitting beside her now with a look in his eye that made her heart race?

Then the strangest thing crossed her mind: Miss. Ritterman’s English class.

“So the theme of Dead Poets Society seems to be carpe diem which they discuss throughout the movie. Could someone please give me, in their own words, the meaning of carpe diem?” The young teacher with a pointing stick poised in hand glanced around at her half conscious group of students. Then her eyes landed on two girls in the back of the room whispering back and forth, obviously paying no mind to the movie. “Jonnie?”

The blonde haired girl’s head snapped toward the front of the room, her jaw slightly slack as she attempted to gather her thoughts.

“Carpe diem.” Miss. Ritterman prompted.

“Right, carpe diem…” She trailed off as she glanced down at her hands, picking at her cuticles. “Carpe diem means live like you’ll die tomorrow, like every moment is your last so don’t waste it.”

Jonnie bit her lip as her eyes trailed back up to meet Zack’s patient stare as he watched her curiously, his hazel eyes locking with hers.

“I want,” Jonnie swallowed hard and in a split second discussion decided to be brutally honest and hang her heart out on the line.

Then she said the one thing that would force Zack Merrick to decide whether this was truly what he wanted or not.

“I want to be loved.”

____________________________________________________________________________

“Missy,” Jack groaned banging his head against her door. He had slid to the floor, his back against the door and planted himself there nearly an hour after everyone had disappeared from sight for their own rendezvous. “Please let me in.” Silence answered him and the normally carefree immature boy was not surprised. He had been talking to himself for the last hour. Sure his ass hurt and his eyelids were constantly closing on him but Jack Barakat was not going to leave until he spoke to the dramatic trouble magnet girl inside who had been plaguing his mind all night.

Jack knocked his head against the door again hopelessly. He was sitting in the dark silent hallway alone and he’d be lying if he said the odd creaks and groans of the apartment were beginning to get to him. Of course he knew the sounds were the fault of the wicked storm raising hell outside but that didn’t stop him from feeling like a pansy and praying that Missy’s extremely stubborn side was starting to wear down. He had promised himself he wouldn’t leave until he spoke to her—he just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

Thunder rumbled closer and in an attempt to pass the time, Jack began to count. 1,000-1, 1,000-2, 1,000-3, 1,000-4

The thunder sounded again, louder this time—the storm was getting closer.

“Missy, come on,” He grumbled, knowing she could hear him. His nerves were fried and his patients were dwindling with the passing ticks of the clock. “How can you seriously be fucking mad at me?” He wondered in annoyance. “I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t the one who said how crazy it would be if we were together.” He hissed getting to his feet.

Lightning illuminated the sky and a beat later the thunder rumbled so loud it probably woke the whole building.

The door flew open and something solid hit Jack nearly knocking him to the ground as the hallway flooded with light from the open door. His hands instinctively went around what hit him and he caught his balance, realizing half a second later it was Missy frozen against him.

Her hair was pulled back neatly into a ponytail and Jack knew from the lack of bed head that Missy had been awake the whole time. She was wearing an oversized shirt and Jack guest that by the New Found Glory logo stamped across the front that it belonged to Alex.

“Missy,” Jack murmured, his arms still around her.

As if she seemed to realize what it was exactly that she had just done she took a step away from Jack and out of his grasp, her gaze locked on his shirt, careful not to meet his gaze.

Her cheeks were red, as well as her nose, and when Jack gently put a finger beneath her chin and forced her to meet his gaze it only confirmed his suspicions that she’d been crying. Her caramel eyes were bloodshot and watery and filled with hurt that Jack didn’t understand.

“Miss,” he sighed attempting to pull her closer but she took an abrupt step backwards, her angry front revealing itself. He closed his eyes tiredly. He was sleep deprived and beginning to think that Missy Taylor was more trouble than she was worth, yet Jack tried to chalk that up to the sleep deprivation talking.

Missy locked her jaw and shook her head before crossing her arms over her chest.

“Can you at least tell me what it is I fucking did!” He hissed, his anger growing like the thunder outside. “I’m out here trying to apology for something I don’t even know I did. How ridiculous is that?”

“It is ridiculous,” Missy agreed bitterly, her eyes hard “like you.” Then she turned to stalk back into her room.

That made Jack snap. He reached out and grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn around. Her eyes were wide with surprise but Jack didn’t care, he was too sleep deprived and aggravated to care about much of anything anymore.

“I’m serious Melissa,” he began. “After this I am done trying to fucking grovel for your forgiveness. I get it, I hurt you; I don’t know what I did but I hurt you and I’m sorry for that. Its not like you haven’t hurt me too though. How do you think I feel? Knowing that you’re ashamed to have anyone know you’re with me?” He shook his head. “I’m not the only one that’s screwed up here.”

Missy opened her mouth, her face contorting in annoyance before thunder boomed around them, shacking the windows and rattling picture frames. The girl yelped as her small frame involuntarily jumped forward and back into Jack, only this time his arms stayed solidly at his side.

Missy didn’t move from her spot as her eyes gazed up at Jack hesitantly, her demeanor changing.

“I,” she began softly then sighed, annoyed with herself. “I’m not ashamed to have people know we are together Jack.” She admitted. “I’m afraid of having people try to tear us apart.”

“So you figured you would just do it to us yourself?”

Missy blinked, feeling the sting of Jack’s bitterness. “I guess I deserved that,” Silence fell between them and all that could be heard was the harshness of rain as it pelted the windows and their shallow breathing mingling together. “I—“ She trailed of suddenly feeling stupid. “It just stung…when you said you weren’t in love.” Her words were rushing together into one jumbled mess. “I mean obviously I don’t expect you to be in love with me that would just be plain stupid I mean we’ve hardly been,” She gestured between them. “this for two weeks. I don’t expect you to be in love with me it just stung and it was stupid and I get—“

Thunder drowned out her words and Missy closed her eyes, biting back the yelp yet her body involuntarily jumped again.
Jack’s arms went around her then.

“Don’t be stupid,” Missy wasn’t sure how he meant it but she wasn’t about to ask. “C’mon scaredy cat,” He teased leading her back into the room. “I’ll protect you.”

And as the door clicked shut behind them the power went out—and it was Jack’s turn to jump.