Lyrical Love Letter

It’s been 2 days.
2 days since the group had returned from their trip.
2 days since they had felt the monotonous lull of normalcy.
2 days since Logan had been found.
2 days since anyone had spoken to each other.

The ambulance had left twenty minutes after they’d found him.
It took fifteen minutes, Zack and Rian, just to pry Alex out of the bathroom.
It took ten minutes of unwanted discussion, excluding Alex, as to who would call his parents—Declan with less attachment than any of them to the Gaskarth’s did it. They would be home tomorrow afternoon.
It took five minutes to locate the liquor cabinet and only one to decide they’d never leave Alex in this house alone.

It had been a group decision to get Alex as drunk as possible in the hopes he’d just pass out and spare himself for awhile. The group was still trying to stomach what had happened let alone figure out how to help and handle Alex. Kara couldn’t bring herself to stay after Alex had passed out and Rian had walked her home with the promise that he’d return before Alex woke up. Zack was drinking his beer silently; Missy had left the house around the same time Kara had, unable to even allow Rian to comfort her. Missy was inconsolable as she switched between taking shots of Long Island Iced Tea and crying, wanting nothing more than to pass out beside her cousin and just not deal with life for a while. Jack was silent, he wasn’t drinking, infact he pursed his lips in disapproval every time Missy did but right now he didn’t have the heart to argue with her. Declan was nowhere in sight and Juliette had gone off in the house after Alex had passed out.

It was three in the morning and Juliette knew that no matter how drunk she got, no matter how many tears she cried she’d never get drunk enough to pass out and she’d never use up all her tears. Tears just fell in rivers down her cheeks as she stared into the small bathroom. Her mind was numb, her thought process was zero. She couldn’t form complete thoughts in her head, she couldn’t even begin to wonder what had gone on in Logan’s mind, what had caused him to take his life.

But he had.

And all that was left were those who knew him to pick up the pieces.
Juliette felt numb and cold as though her own blood had left her. Her eyes glazed over unable to focus on anything, unable to come to grips with the fact that Logan was gone.

It wasn’t even a thought that drove Juliette but a driving need. She couldn’t sit still when things wrong, she worked to mend them, to move forward. She’d never let Alex lay his eyes upon this cold chilling scene again and so with a bucket of water and a sponge she moved toward the tub and turned off her emotions…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sometime later Declan had returned with the sun of a new day, not bothering to knock as he walked into the house and right into the living room. Alex was still unconscious, Missy asleep beside him. Rian had returned and in the company of Jack and Zack the trio was silent as they stared out into nothingness.

“Where is Juliette?” Declan’s voice, at a normal octave, shattered the thick and heavy silence in the room and Jack noticeably jumped as they turned toward the man in the doorway. “Where. Is. Juliette.”

The group looked around the room as though they had just noticed she was gone. “I haven’t seen her since I got back.” Was all Rian could say.

Declan shook his head before moving toward the stairs, glancing up at the second level of the house and noticing a distinct light. Slowly Declan made his way up the stairs before he paused, noticing the light illuminating the bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Fuck,” Declan swore as he raced up the stairs only to freeze at the sight of his sister draped against the porcelain tub asleep, a bucket of tinted red water beside her and a sponge hanging slack in her hand.

Until now Declan had somehow managed to go without crying but upon seeing his sister like this tears cascaded down his stubbled cheeks. Quietly he moved into the bathroom and snaked his arms around her body, lifting her into his arms as her head fell lazily into the crook of his neck. He carried her mutely down the stairs instantly catching the attention of Zack, Rian, and Jack as he laid her on the loveseat opposite the couch Alex was currently unconscious on. Declan swallowed hard as he stared down at Juliette who had been through so much, and Jonnie who’d been through more; ghosts of a suppressed tragedy whispering through his mind at the thought of Jonnie.

Declan gazed about the room noticing the absence of the particular blonde.

“Zack,” He began with a start. “Where is Jonnie?”

“I took her home, she wasn’t feeling well.”

Hairs shot up along Declan’s arms.

“Zack go to her,” His voice was level but anyone could easily pick up the slight alarm in his tone.

“Declan?”

“Don’t leave Jonnie alone Zack,” Declan ordered, suddenly feeling years older. “She needs someone to be with her, I have to stay with Jules.”

Zack rose to his feet not needing to be told twice when it came to the concern of Jonnie. But he paused, his eyes landing on Declan and catching something in his eye.

“What are you telling me about Jonnie?”

Declan looked away and ran a hand over his face; these were going to be the longest, hardest days of his life.

“Jonnie had an older brother,” He murmured quietly. “he killed himself, slit his wrists, when he was twenty-three.” No one spoke at Declan’s words. “Did you know 12% of marriages end in divorce when a child dies?” He questioned weakly and Zack looked away swearing, his hand running through his hair anxiously. “It took Jonnie a long time to get over his death—she was just a kid when it happened but she blamed her parents for it and even as she got older and understood it was their fault she still blamed them. It was only easier to hate them when they got divorced and stirred up her life. Just go see her okay, it’s been years since anything has been close to upsetting her over his death, but this?” Declan shook his head. “Just don’t leave her alone.”

“She wouldn’t try—“ The words hung in the air and Declan shook his head again.

“No she wouldn’t but her level of reckless stupidity improves drastically and I don’t think any of us want to accompany her to the hospital right now.”

Zack nodded solemnly and then he was gone leaving only Jack and Rian.

“How is she?” Rian asked nodding toward Juliette.

Declan pursed his lips in disapproval of his sister but admiration and love in his eyes. “She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met. She always puts others before herself and sometimes it’s not always healthy. She shoves her emotions away until she bursts; she’ll be business-like and make sure Alex get’s through this but that won’t stop the break down that’ll come in a month or so.” It was silent as they stared at Juliette’s sleeping form, her mouth pulling down in worry even in sleep. “She was upstairs cleaning out the tub.” He whispered quietly. “She wouldn’t have wanted Alex to have any more reminders than necessary.”

Jack licked his lips looking as helpless as ever. “What do we do?” He asked vulnerably. Even Jack knew that when the Gaskarth’s returned it would still end up in the hands of his friends to care for Alex. But they were still only teenagers, hell sixteen year old Missy’s birthday had come and gone--and Jack not much older than she; they weren’t made to handle this kind of tragedy. He needed direction, he needed to be told what could be done, he couldn’t sit in the barren sense of unknowing feeling blind on how to cope.

“Just look out for Alex and Missy,” Declan said. “even when it means protecting them from themselves. God knows I’ve had to do it more times than I can count with Juliette and Jonnie—it’s never easy but they’re the ones we love and so we do whatever the hell is in our power to protect them because the only ones that understand them better than themselves is us.”

Jack nodded mutely, his eyes fixing on Missy as though he was waiting for something bad to happen to her.

“I’d just make sure they’re sober by the time Mrs. And Mr. Gaskarth return.” He added before his eyes flickered to Rian watching the drummer stare out into space out the window. “How’s Kara?”

The question hung in the air for a moment and Rian shrugged. “She’ll be okay—things like this are just hard for her.” He said quietly. “She’d kill me if I said but she’s as strong as she is fragile, things like this, tragedies they honestly make her sick. She stopped eating when her grandfather died and when her mother forced her to eat something she just threw up. She just needs space for now. Once she can finally come to terms with this she’ll be as strong as Juliette and Jonnie.”

Declan nodded, his facial expression nearly permanently settling into a frown, his brows slightly forward and his lips curving down. There was nothing else to be done, there wasn’t anything anyone could do now.