This Isn't a Fairytale, It's My Life!

I fell asleep quickly as I listened to his calm heartbeat, which had always made it easier for me to sleep. I was really lucky to have him, and I am glad he is staying for me. The alarm clock sounded and Nick slapped it with ease as he stretched. “I can’t wait until we don’t have to set that thing anymore.” He chuckled as he stood. I closed my eyes rubbing them, I stood up stretching and waltzed in his room looking in his closet. I found a shirt that I wanted and slipped it over my head. It was one of the hockey team’s shirts that they wear on game days and it had his last name and the number 12 on the back of it. I walked back to my room noticing Nick was still in my bed. I laughed as I changed into some shorts and some flip flops. I pulled my now brown hair into a messy bun.

He looked up at me wearing his shirt. “I like that on you.” He smiled as he climbed out of my bed.

“Thank you.” I nodded as he embraced me. He jogged into his room, putting on a green skateboarding company t-shirt and jean shorts. I walked into the bathroom as he got dressed. I put on some natural make up and walked into his room as he put his shoes on. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I couldn’t because of my damn arm.

“I can’t wait until I get this thing off!” I sighed loudly.

“Don’t you get it off in a week?” he asked looking up at me.

“Yes.” I smiled, getting more excited about the upcoming events.

“I can’t wait until prom.” He muttered kissing my temple. “You’ll be the most beautiful girl there.”

“I don’t have a dress.” I sighed becoming sad again.

“Ask Chels to take you shopping.” He said making it sound simple. I sighed as he grabbed me into his arms. “I’m buying you a dress.” He mumbled.

“No you’re not Nick.” I shook my head. “I don’t want you to spend all your money on me.”

“I’m buying you a dress for prom.” He said firmly as he took my hands into his. “No arguments, I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t want to go to prom in extravagant dress, or all dolled up. It’s not me Nick.” I argued anyways. “I’m not going to prom to be the prom queen, I’m going to prom because I want to have the night of my life, and I don’t need a ball gown or my hair and nails done, all I need is you.”

“Is that what you want?” He asked questioningly.

“Yes” I stared at him. “That’s what I want. I don’t want a new dress, or anything like that, I just want to go with you.”

“No one has ever said that to me before.” He entwined his hand into mine. I turned to him pulling him towards me by wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I just said twice.” I giggled as I leaned up to his mouth kissing him softly. “And I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

“Me too.” He smiled returning the kiss. We walked out to his car and he helped me in kissing me once before going over to his side of the car. He climbed in and his car came to life as he turned the ignition.

We arrived at school and he took his hand in mine. I smiled up at him as he kissed my cheek. We were happy, but something was wrong, and I knew it as we joined everyone else. Nick looked around at the sullen look on everyone’s face. Chelsea was crying as Zach held her and a few of the other hockey players were upset too.

“What’s wrong?” Nick was the brave one this time.

Chelsea walked up to me and hugged me tightly, not saying a word as she cried. I sighed feeling the heaviness of the air. “What is going on?” I asked in a demanding tone, Zach handed me an envelope and touched my hands. “Derek’s dead.”

“What?” I was shocked as my heart sank.

“He committed suicide last night.” Zach continued. “He showed up at my house and told me to give this to you.”

I ripped open the letter and sure enough it was in Derek’s messy handwriting.

Dearest Belle,
If you’re reading this, I wasn’t brave enough to give this to you, but Zach is a good friend. I am sorry for everything, and I know it may mean nothing to you, because of all the hateful things I have done to you. Please know, it was not because I wanted to. I was hurt when we parted, because I realized after I (and I’m finally admitting to it.) RAPED you that it was the worst mistake of my life and I wish I could take it back. I’m so sorry, and I know that will never be enough, and it’s too late to tell you that I love you with everything in me I love you, and I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done. Please don’t blame yourself for this, I screwed up, and I found out I was diagnosed with HIV. I’m completely jealous of Nick, but I don’t deserve you and I know he does. I’m glad to see you are finally happy with him. That’s all I ever wanted for you.

I love you, Derek

The words hit me like a plane crash as I dropped the letter and fell to my knees in tears. Nick’s eyes grew wide as he kneeled to embrace me. I snatched the letter and tore it to pieces as I choked back tears.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked as he rubbed my back.

“Nick, I don’t want to be here.” I muttered as I put my arm around his neck. Chelsea kneeled down and touched my face.

“Derek was too late.” She smiled as she looked at Nick. He glared at her and pulled away from me standing up.

“What the hell?” He shouted.

“Derek still loved me.” I muttered pulling my knees to my chest. His attention was focused on me.

“Do you still love him?” he asked in a stern voice.

“No.” I shook my head as I looked up at him. “I love you.”

“Derek knew you made her happy and he couldn’t stand it.” Zach interrupted as he looked at Nick.

“So he killed himself because of her?” he pointed to me on the ground. I stood up grabbing his shirt and pulled him close to me.

“No.” I touched his face. “He was sick.”

“Oh.” He bowed his head as I kept my hand there.

We all mourned the loss of Derek. We went to his service and they had a pep rally in his honor. Weeks passed and we still thought of Derek. Even though Derek and I ended on bad terms, I still cared for him and understood why he decided to end his life. The disease would have claimed his life at sometime or another.

Also after finding out Derek had HIV, I went and got tested, and I don’t have it. Thank goodness. Tomorrow is prom, and I am excited. Yes Nick and I are going strong, and we told our moms of our plan to go to New York for school. My mom is ecstatic that I finally figured out what I wanted to do, but I still have to get in first.

My admission was late, and I don’t know if they have excepted me yet, though Nick is thoroughly optimistic. We started arguing upstairs, and he was winning.

“Belle.” Nick grabbed my hands. “You’ll get in.”

“But –“ He cut me off crashing his lips to mine. I enjoyed his kiss, very much but I was still angry at him for cutting me off.

He pulled away from the kiss with a cooked grin. “Sorry. But babe, please quit worrying. I know you’ll get in.” He embraced me tightly and kissed my head through my hair. He sighed and held me for a while we were standing there. He was thinking about something.

“Babe?” I looked up at him.

“Yes?” he smiled.

“You okay?” My eyes searched his.

“I’m fine.” He grinned. “I’m just worried about you.”

“No need to worry about me.” I shook my head. “I’m happy.” I pulled myself closer to him.

“Me too.” He smiled before kissing me softly. Sleep was overrated, and I was too excited and worried to sleep, but Nick snored away.

I was excited because I was getting my cast off, just in time for prom. I jumped up hopped in the shower and put on a tank top and shorts. I slipped on some flip flops, and rushed into the bathroom as Nick sauntered into his room tiredly. I zoomed out with fresh make up on and I was jumping in place as Nick put his shoes on. “Okay roo, please stop jumping around.” He laughed.

“I’m too excited!” I shouted as he stood up grabbing my other hand.

“Okay lets get that thing off.” He pulled me down the stairs.