About You Now

----------
Maybe I’m wrong, you decide.
Should’ve been strong, yeah, I lied.
Nobody gets me like you.
----------

“What the hell is your problem?”

“What is my problem? Really, Alex, your asking me that? Take look around!” the girl, Cassie motions her arms around the boy-messy tour bus. “I’m sick and tired of being boxed in this fucking tin-can on wheels while you’re out there playing along to the Mr. Rock Star gimmick. Do you not even care about my feelings or anything?”

Alex groans and lets his head connect with the window behind him. “When did you get the idea that I don’t care? You know that I go out there every night and play to that crowd, but in the end, I come back here to you. Yeah, Cassie, that totally shows I don’t give a shit about you.”

“Can you not be sarcastic for once in your life?”

“God. What do you want me to say, huh?” Alex asks and stares the girl down. “Oh, I’m sorry that I’m trying to make a living out here and that you’re riding along? Sorry, Cass, but if I remember right, you were the one who suggested for you to come along with us.”

Cassie glares and crosses her arms over her chest. “Are you saying if I didn’t suggest it, you wouldn’t want me here?”

“Did I say that?”

“You’re so fucking difficult! Dammit.”

“Oh, I’m the difficult one? I’m not the one who was slamming shit and making a big scene.”

Huffing, Cassie turns on her heel and walks back towards the bunks. In a haste, she grabs an old duffel bag and starts going through the drawers underneath her and Alex’s bunk, throwing random articles of clothing into the bag.

After throwing all the belongings she can find into the ratty, old duffel bag, Cassie pulls out her phone and starts typing out a text message to one of her only close friends, Martin.

room on ur bus for 1 more?

In a matter of seconds, the tall guitarist texts back. yeah, course. what’s goin on?

I’ll tell u l8r.

?, the text message reads, showing off the boy’s confusion. alright. were parked 2 rows down.

“What are you doing?”

Cassie looks up and stands up from her crouch; narrowing her eyes into deathly slits. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m packing my shit up and leaving.”

“You’re--” Alex pauses and leans against the frame of the door. “You’re leaving? Over this stupid, little argument?”

“It wasn’t just a stupid, little argument, Alex. This whole thing shows that we need some time apart. We‘ve been on top of each other for months now.”

Clenching his jaw and shaking his head, Alex picks idly at his fingers. “Where exactly are you going? We’re on tour, it’s not like you have the money for a plane ticket back to Maryland.”

“Martin has room on the Boys Like Girls bus, so I’m staying there.”

“You know you’re being stupid, right?”

Cassie hoists the bag up on her shoulder and pushes him out of her way. When she reaches the metal door of the bus, she turns around at stares at Alex’s slouching figure. “Yeah, well, you’re being an asshole. Maybe you should work on that while I’m gone.”

And with that, she leaves.

----------
Couldn’t keep a hold of you then.
How could I know what you meant?
There was nothing to compare to.
----------

The parking lot of the venue was packed with people drinking and acting stupid. Almost every member of every band on Warped Tour was here, socializing with everyone that decided to stay for the large party—with a large bon fire included. In the mist of all the bodies, Cassie was leaning back against one of the many buses with a wine cooler in her hand; the condensation leaking onto her heated hand. She watches quietly as her long-time friends from past tours drink themselves into incoherency.

But, this wasn’t Cassie’s scene.

Of course, she likes to come just to come and meet up with the roadies and techs that she hasn’t seen in months. She tends to believe that it’s more fun being sober at a party and watch all the hilarious incidents that the people won’t remember in the morning—only Cassie and a few other individuals just like her.

“You need liquor!”

Jumping in surprise, Cassie turns her head and met the glazed over eyes of Vinny. She laughed ruffled his dark hair. “No, I don’t, Vinny. And I don’t think you do either. How much have you drank already?”

The slurring boy tried to count of his fingers and then pouted when he couldn’t get past his first hand. “You know what? I really don’t know. Lost count after seven.”

“I’m not calling a cab for you if you pass out from alcohol poisoning.”

Vinny waved his hand in the air and snorted. “Psh, if you die form drinking then you’re a pussy.”

“Did that come from your book about life?”

“You know it!”

Cassie laughed and shook her head, taking a small sip from the Smirnoff Ice that her hand gripped. Out of the corner her eye, she watched in amusement as Vinnie continued to sway and sing obnoxiously to the rap song that was blaring from one of the tour buses.

“I need to get laid!”

Choking on her drink, Cassie spat it out in front of her and wiped her mouth as she continued to cough. “Wow, Barakat, I really need to know about your lack of a sex life.”

Jack grinned and swung a heavy arm over Cassie’s shoulders.

Ignoring him—mostly to see what he would do since he always has to have the attention on him, Cassie looked down and peeled at the label on her bottle and cringed when another loud rap song came on—worse then the one from before. She yawned and pulled out her cell phone, noting at it was nearly one in the morning and she really doesn’t feel like helping the pack of drunken boys onto the bus when the sun comes up.

“Uh-Oh.”

Cassie rolled her eyes, but didn’t look at the label she was currently shredding between her fingers. “What now, Jack? If you have to take a piss, I am not helping you out again. That shit scarred me for life.”

“No. No, I don’t have to take a leak, but I have a funny feeling that this is worse then that.”

“I’m not helping you out with your horn—”

Suddenly, a hand jerks her head to the right and Cassie’s eyes widen at the sight across the bonfire.

There, right in front of her, was Alex with his body pressed up against another girl—his fingers hooked into her belt loops and the girl’s arms wrapped snuggly around his neck. Alex was laughing at something at something she whispered into his ear.

The Smirnoff Ice that she was previously holding onto dropped to the asphalt below her. But, it didn’t even faze her as her mouth gaped open and anger flared up from her chest. “What. The. Fuck?” she half yelled, half whispered.

“I told you,” Jack murmured and rubbed awkwardly at his neck. “Um, Cass, please don’t kill him. At least wait until Warped is over, so we don’t have to find a new singer by tomorrow.”

Cassie clenched her jaw and pushed his arm off her shoulders. “Can’t promise anything.”

And with that, she stalked over to Alex and the girl; completely ignoring the shouted words that were thrown at her from her friends. She just pushed them out of her way as the jealously and anger bubbled under her fair skin. In front of her, the girl leans up and whispered, again, into Alex’s ear and in response, he shakes his head and he’s lips move as he yells—over the loud music, back at her.

When she approached them, Cassie crossed her arms over her chest and yelled: “Alexander Gaskarth, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The said boy’s eyes widened and he pushed the girl away from him as if she burned him. “Cassie. It’s—It’s not what it looks like, really.”

Cassie scoffed and turned towards the girl next to her. “I suggest you leave before I punch you in the face, thank you.”

The girl huffed and rolled her eyes, but left without a word.

So, Cassie turned back towards Alex and narrowed her eyes. “Well?”

“Well, what?” Alex asked and swayed slightly as he stood, clearly showing off that he was beyond drunk.

“Alex,” Cassie muttered and rubbed at her temples. “Don’t tell me you have no clue what I’m talking about. Who was she and why was she all over you?”

“Oh! Just some girl trying to get me to have sex wit her. No biggie.”

“No biggie? What the hell, Alex?”

Groaning, Alex wrapped his arms around Cassie’s middle and tucked his head into the junction between her neck and shoulder. “Like I said—No biggie. I told her ‘no’ just as you walked up. Told her I had a girlfriend.”

Silence surrounded them and Cassie refused to return his embrace as she stared out towards the party—noticing that no one was paying attention to them and what just went down—although, the girl that was previously all over Alex moved over to another boy in a band.

“You don’t believe me, do you, Cassie?” Alex slurred sadly and gripped the back of her shirt.

Sighing, Cassie found herself running her fingers through Alex’s sweaty, dark locks and shaking her head. “No, I believe you. Let’s just go back to the bus.”

Alex followed closely behind her as she weaved in and out of the crowds.

----------
There’s a mountain between us
But there’s one thing I’m sure of:
That I know how I feel about you.
----------

Cassie refolds the shirts in the merchandise box as she stands underneath the All Time Low tent. As she does so, she can’t help but to let her mind wander to the one boy that always seems to occupy her thoughts. Or the feelings that he creates whenever she thinks about him. Or the way her heart swells when she remembers all the memories that they have together. From their childhood to the present—not the current fight their in.

When she looks up, she notices the crowd of girls that starts swarming around the booth and her eyes flicker over to the four boys that were coming into the tent for the autograph signing that they do everyday at this time. But, instead of doing the usual joking around with Rian, Zach, Jack and Alex, Cassie just continues with her work and places the folded shirts on the table in front of her.

Many voices start to scream out the boys’ names and the continuous ‘sign this for me!’s.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Alex rub tiredly at his eyes and sign the shirts and random items that were being pushed into his face—not showing the usual enthusiasm that he always has when he meets his fans—because as he puts it, if it weren’t for them, they wouldn’t be where they are.

When she notices Alex staring at her, Cassie looks at him fully—just in time to notice the dark circles under his eyes that weren’t there a few days ago and how he sadly he looks at her.

But instead of saying anything, Cassie just adverts her gaze and hangs up a purple sweatshirt up behind her.

----------
Can we bring yesterday back around?
‘Cause I know how I feel about you now.
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down.
But I know how I feel about you now.
----------

The afternoon turns quickly into night and Cassie finds herself gazing up at the ceiling of her bunk; above her Paulie is snoring softly in his sleep as they travel down the highway to their next destination of the tour. She rolls over to her side and tucks her fingers down between the crack between her mattress and the cold wall of the bus. Her fingers touch a film-paper and she grips it before pulling it from its hiding spot.

Cassie sighs when her eyes adjust and stare down at the crinkled photograph.

It had to be over three years old; back when they were just hopeful teenagers.

The photograph was in black and white with bad lighting, but Cassie can see her and Alex’s smiles as he had his fingers twined with her own and gripping a guitar in the other. It was taken after one of their shows back in Baltimore, when All Time Low was just starting out and gaining a following.

She concludes that it must have been taken just months after they started dating.

And wherever she has gone, it always comes with her, no matter what.

Cassie closes her eyes and lets the memories lull her to sleep.

The band exited the stage, everyone covered in a sheen of sweat. Immediately, Alex rushed over to Cassie and wrapped his sweat-slicked body around her, causing her to gag and smack his arm. “How’d we do? You think we made little girl’s cream their pants?”

Cassie rolled her eyes and nodded into his neck. “I’m sure you did. You guys were awesome, believe me. I can see you guys getting big and leaving stupid, old Maryland.”

“Nah. Our hearts will always be in Maryland—” he paused and pressed his lips to Cassie’s softly. “At least—I know mine will always be.”

Biting her lip, Cassie nudges her nose with his and sighed. “I love you.”

Alex grinned and kissed her temple, squeezing tighter in their embrace—well, as tight he could without shoving his guitar into Cassie’s side. “Love you, too. But more.”

Cassie laughed and shut her eyes, ignoring his sweat that rubbed against her forehead as she rests it on his toned chest. “That’s not poss—”

“Smile!”

Before either of the teenagers could register the voice, a flash blinded them, leaving them blinking rapidly to regain their sight.

When Cassie does, she noticed Rian standing a few feet away with a camera in his hand as he smiled.

“Now, that was just adorable,” Rian gushed sarcastically. “Really. I don’t think my heart can take it.”

---------
All that it takes, one more chance.
Don’t let out last kiss be our last.
I’m out of my mind just to show you.
---------

When the morning rolls around, Cassie stumbles out of her bunk and into the kitchenette area where Martin is lazily scooping colorful cereal into his mouth; although, most of the milk just dribbles down his chin. She laughs and drops down onto the booth’s bench in front of him.

“S’up,” he murmurs tiredly instead of a usual ‘good morning’.

Shaking her head in amusement, Cassie just shrugs her shoulders and looks out the window to realize that the bus was parked in the venue’s parking lot. “Nothing much, I guess. I don’t really know.”

With the spoon in his mouth, Martin picks something up from beside him on the bench and slides it across the table without looking up from the bowl in front of him.

Cautiously, Cassie picks up when she realizes that it’s her name scrawled out on the front of a piece of paper. She bites her lip and opens it up to notice Alex’s messy handwriting;

Cassie,
I suck at theses things—the whole writing my thoughts down into a letter. I guess it’s kind of ironic because I’m a song writer. But maybe it’s because of the way I feel about you and I don’t want to mess us up anymore. I’m sorry for the hell I’ve put us through these past few weeks. I guess the stress of the tour has put a strain on our relationship—I don’t want that. I want us to be strong like we used to be, you know, back in the day when nothing was between us.

I miss you a lot, Cass. More than you can think of. Its weird waking up in the middle of the night and my hand hitting the cold sheets next to me instead of your warm body pressed against mine. I want you to come back because I can’t do this without you. You feel like e that no matter how I act towards you.

I’m trying so hard to show you.

Don’t let our last kiss weeks ago be our last.

You know where to find me.

I love you,
Alexander.

A single tear manages to escape down her cheek and Cassie quickly wipes it away, sniffling as folds the letter back up and shoves it into her sweatpants pockets.

“You need to go to him,” Martin mumbles down at the near empty bowl in front of him. “You two are the dumbest people I’ve ever had the pleasure knowing. Seriously, go find him and make babies because I’m tired of your moping and his questions to me about how you are doing.”

Cassie sighs and rubs at her eyes. “Way to stick it to me, Martin.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“What would I do without you?”

Martin shrugs his shoulders, looking like he’s on the verge on falling asleep right then and there. “I don’t know. Probably die a horrific death, but you never know.”

Laughing slightly, Cassie huffs at a breath and pushes herself up from her seat. When she looks out the window again, she notices Alex walking out the All Time Low bus with Matt by his side.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” she says, never taking her eyes off the pair outside.

Martin waves her off and lets his head hit the table.

After rolling her eyes, Cassie runs off the bus and across the parking lot.

Before she even thinks about it, she literally jumps onto Alex and presses her lips into his. Immediately, Alex responds and wraps his arms around her waist—holding on for dear life. Cassie sighs and doesn’t care that Matt is still standing there, now with a disgusted look on his face.

“You guys are disgusting,” Matt mutters darkly and starts walking away. “But at least I don’t have to deal with an emotional singer on my hands. I’m leaving now since my eyes are almost burned out of my skull. Thank you, assholes.”

Cassie and Alex just stick their middle fingers up at him.

And she realizes that no matter the things that come between them—big or small –they’re always going to be the two love-stuck teenagers they used to be years ago.

And to be honest, Cassie can’t find anything wrong with it.