Finding My Way Back To The Start

It was the end of the first month of Warped Tour and there was a huge bonfire going on. I wasn’t really in the partying mood, but the rest of the guys were, and I didn’t plan on staying on that huge bus by myself. I grabbed my Glamour Kills hoodie, slipped on my worn out Vans and made my way to where the party was.

As I walked toward the party, I couldn’t help but think about how Jac was on tour with us. I was in love with her. Only Jared knew that so far. Thank God, he hadn’t told anyone yet.

I started hearing the heavy bass of the music and the drunken shouts and laughter of all the party-goers. I spotted Jared talking to two blond girls in extremely skanky clothes. It's good that Jared has a girlfriend and isn’t tempted by that, I thought to myself. As my eyes scanned the party, I caught site of a drunken Jac and Caleb. I knew they would totally regret what they were going to do in the morning.

Damn, I suddenly remembered the last time Jac was drunk at a party andwho what she did.

“Kenny!” Jac whined to me, as she grabbed my arm in a hotel room on the Money Tour with All Time Low. It was the first time in two years that Jac has called me ‘Kenny.’ “Why aren’t you having a drink?!”

“Jac, how much have you had to drink?” I asked, concerned.

“Not a lot…” she slurred. It was obvious that she was wasted. Only a little alcohol buzz clouded my judgement, and I was able to think for the most park. Before I could stop her, she was whispering in my ear, “Kenny? Want to go have some fun?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, come on Kenny!” she yelled, right before she brought her lips to mine. “No one has to know, Kenny, no one.” She pulled her mouth back to mine, and I let her. I liked Jac, a lot. Even though I was sober enough to realize what I was doing was wrong, I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to admit to myself that this was something I wanted. It was just so wrong, but it felt so right.

I pulled my mouth from hers and whispered in her ear, “Not here. Your room. You have one to yourself?” She nodded back, giggling a bit. This wasn’t the Jac I knew, the one I was falling for, but I couldn’t stop.

I grabbed her hand, pulled her out of the party, and followed her down the hall to her room, Jac giggling all the while. As soon as I shut the door, her lips where on mine and I was tugging at her shirt. Our lips parted for just a moment as we pulled each other’s shirts over our heads. She pulled her mouth from mine ,and I moved down to her neck. I hit her soft spot, and she let out a soft moan.

“Kenny…” She grabbed my hair and pulled me back to her mouth. I pulled at her belt loops as our lips moved together. We landed on the bed, and Jac started undoing my belt as I started unbuttoning her shorts. Our pants slid off and were thrown to the floor. Jac had her hands tangled in my hair while my left hand was pulling her lower back closer to me. My hand caressed every curve on her body, feeling her delicate skin. Underwear was shed and a bra was unhooked, protection was slid on and inside her I went.

I woke up the next morning, naked, and next to Jac. I quietly started freaking out. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on. Slowly and cautiously put Jac’s clothes back on her, as well. She couldn't know what had happened. It would just give her reason to hate me more. I had all my stuff and I gave Jac’s sleeping form one last glance and a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, Jac, so much, but you can't remember this; I’m sorry,” I mumbled miserably, as I left her room.

She never knew about that night and I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a deep and dark secret that only I know about, hopefully. I snapped out of my flashback in time to see Caleb guiding Jac back to his bus. I ran over, grabbed her wrist, looked her straight in the eye. “You aren’t going anywhere with him, Jac.”

“Let go, Kennedy!” Jac whined as she ripped her arm out of my grasp.

“What the fuck, Kennedy? Just let her go. She doesn’t have to listen to you,” Caleb slurred at me.

“She doesn’t have to listen to me but she’s not going to have sex with you just because she’s drunk. I know her, and she will totally regret it in the morning. So will you.” I picked her up bridal-style and carried her back to our bus.

“Kennedy…” she whined. I looked down at her, and she looked like she was going to be sick. I put her down and grabbed her hair back just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach onto the ground.

“Come on, Jac, I’ll take you back to the bus and get you some water, okay?” I whispered to her. All she did was nod and snuggle back into my chest as I picked her up again.

I walked on to the bus and brought Jac into the back lounge. It had a big couch that made a decent sized bed. I laid her down and walked to the front of the bus. I grabbed a bottle of Aspirin, a glass of water and a damp towel and made my way to the back. When I got back to Jac, she was already asleep on the couch. I set down the water, Aspirin on the table, and the towel on her head and turned to walk out.

“Kennedy?” I heard Jac whisper. I went over to her and kneeled in front of her.

“Yeah, Jac?” I whispered back.

She opened her eyes just enough to glare at me. “I hate you,” was all that came out of her mouth before her eyes drifted closed and she passed out for the night.

Way to go, Kenny, she’s always going to hate you, isn’t she?

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Jac’s POV

I woke up slightly confused with a pounding head ache. Last night’s events came flooding back, and all I could remember was lots of drinks, me and Caleb about to do some stuff in the bus and Kenny pulling me away. Kenny. I slowly opened my eyes and immediately saw a bottle of Aspirin and a water bottle sitting on the table. As I snatched the bottle and downed two pills, someone came running into the back lounge screaming my name.

“Jac!” a familiar voice yelled, but before I could register it, I was tackled into a hug by a mess of brown hair.

“Callie!? Oh my God! What are you doing here?” I screamed back attacking her with another hug.

“Well my brother’s band is on this tour, my dear. I thought I’d come pay my best friend a visit!” she responded. I remembered that I had a hangover and sunk back down to the floor.

“Ow,” I mumbled.

Callie just laughed and said “Sweetie, this is why drinking can be a bad thing. You’re just lucky Kenny got you away from Caleb before you could have done something you totally would have regretted.” That made me mad.

“What makes you so sure I would have regretted it?” I asked, trying to suppress the anger in my voice. Callie looked at me with a confused look.

“Jac, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, how would you feel if you woke up naked next to a guy you’ve only known and been with for a few days? Tell me you wouldn’t have regretted that.” She had a point.

“I don’t know, Callie. I just don’t think Kenny should have stopped me. I mean, why does he care what I do?”

Why does he care what I do?