Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

Carefully placing my hands on each side of the bed next to my fiancé, I silently leaned over her before bending down and pressing my lips to her sleeping face, randomly kissing where my lips happened to land then ending with a light kiss upon her lips. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I knew that I’m going to catch nothing but hell for what I’m about to do but I also know that this is the only way that Dakota will ever be happy. I need to leave while she doesn’t have the chance to pack up and follow me back to Tempe; Arizona isn’t a place for her at all.

“I love you, Dakota Mae,” I whispered to her, “Try not to hate me too much for this, ok?” I went on, whispering in her ear, “I love you,” I said once more.

“Love you,” She grumbled back in her sleep before a gentle smile tugged on the corner of her lips. I smiled back then I stood up straight.

Grabbing my back pack, I took one last look around her bedroom before leaving it and walking into her living room. Making sure that my note was still place in plain sight on the coffee table, I inhaled deeply and left the apartment that I’ll be calling home in a few weeks. Once the door was shut tightly, I double checked the knob, making sure it was in fact locked.

Outside, down at the sidewalk the cab I had called for earlier was patiently waiting for me. As I got in, I looked up at the driver and sighed softly, “The airport, please.” I said softly.

He looked at me in the rearview mirror then smiled, “Alrighty,” He confirmed then he put the car into gear, “Early flight out?” He questioned.

“Yeah,”

“Where you headed?”

“Tempe,” I answered.

He frowned deeply, making his eyebrows almost touch, “Why would you leave such a beautiful place for Tempe?” He glanced back at me then back at the road, “You don’t look like a business man,”

I laughed softly, “Tempe is where I’m from, I’m just going home.”

“Ah, I see.” He nodded, “End of summer break, eh?”

“No, just a weekend getaway,”

“Is there a girl involved?” The middle aged man smiled slyly.

I blushed like an idiot then nodded my head at the friendly driver, “Isn’t there always a girl involved?”

He chuckled happily, “You got me there,” He shook his head then held up his left hand sporting a gold wedding band, “Twenty five years married to the same amazing woman.”

I smiled as I stared out of my window towards the ocean, “That’s amazing,” I mumbled truthfully.

“You have no idea,” He sighed softly then things became silent between us, a comfortable silence.

At the airport, I paid the driver then I got out and quickly made my way through the airport, knowing I was running a bit late, luckily I don’t have any luggage with me, just my back pack and all that’s inside is just a change of clothes, I left everything else at Dakota’s.

The long process that it takes to get on the plane seemed extremely shorter at this early hour and before I had any time to rethink my choice, I was buckled into my seat and up in the dark, early morning sky heading back to Tempe while Dakota continued to sleep soundly and happily in her own bed, thinking I was still next to her when I’m really not but it’s for her own good, she’s happier in San Diego.

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Suddenly, I opened my eyes then sat up without missing a single beat. The bed on either side of me was cold to the touch, the French doors that lead out to my balcony were still shut securely and there was no scent of breakfast; my apartment was completely silent, too silent.

“O’Callaghan?” I called out, knowing that I wouldn’t get an answer but I still thought I’d give it a try.

Licking my lips, I climbed out of my bed and hurried out into my living room only to see a note on my coffee table. Glaring at it evilly, I didn’t even want to read it, knowing damn well what it was and what it said. Grabbing my house phone off it’s charger, I dialed John’s cell phone number quickly and flawlessly before hitting talk and putting the phone up to my ear.

“You slept in,” John’s voice said simply after just two rings, “I’m already in Tempe and at home.”

I glared, “Oh, you have some fucking nerve, asshole.” I snapped into the receiver, “Leaving me like that when I was sleeping!” I wailed.

“I had to!” John exclaimed, “You would’ve followed me back if I didn’t!”

“So! Wasn’t that the point? To go back to Tempe with you until the holidays?”

“You’re not happy,” John sighed, “You’re happy there and I think our relationship is strong enough to handle the distance, just until I can get out there in a few weeks.” He paused on the other end, “Are you more mad or sad?” He whispered.

I stood there wearing nothing but one of his white v-neck shirts. Shifting my weight on my feet, I bit my lip nervously but said nothing into the phone, still hating this feeling that this boy gives me but I guess it’s called love.

“If it helps, I kissed you goodbye and told you that I loved you.”

“It doesn’t,” I replied.

John laughed lightly on the other end, “You are a stubborn bitch, you know it?”

“Yeah,” I whispered then I sat down on my couch, “When are you coming back?”

“Few weeks,” He answered.

“Can you bring my things and my car back with you?” I asked.

“You want me to drive your car to San Diego? How will my car get there?”

“Oh yeah,” I frowned, “I’ll just call my brother,” I wrinkled my face then sighed once more, “How dare you leave me after a night like last night,” I growled, still a bit bitter, “One likes to wake up to their significant other after sex like that, you know.”

“Stop putting me on a guilt trip, I did what I had to,” John ordered, “You’re not happy here, Dakota Mae and believe it or not, I want you happy and California makes you happy, so I left you there.”

“I hate you,” I mumbled as I frowned, “What if you never come back?”

“I’ll come back, I promise.” He whispered, “I knew you’d be sad but I thought you’d be more angry.”

“How can I be angry?” I whispered, tears threatening to fall, “You fucking left me!” I growled, “I’m depressed!”

My fiancé was silent for a moment before he spoke, “Don’t cry,”

“I’m not,” I lied.

“You’re lying,” He called me out, “I promise I’ll be back there in more than four weeks,”

“What happened to two weeks?”

“I have a lot of shit to deal with,” He pointed out, “It may be two weeks it may not be,” He added then he sighed gently into the phone, “I had a great time out there though,”

“I hate you,” I said once more, “I gotta go, don’t call … I’ll call you when I’m ready.” I grumbled simply before hanging up on the only boy who has managed to steal my heart in such a way.

Throwing my phone to my other couch with anger, I got up in a hurry then went into my room. Tugging John’s shirt off of my body, I threw it into the corner of my room before getting dressed in my PJ’s that had nothing to do with John in any way. Turning to my bed, I growled loudly and tore my blankets and sheets off in a fit of rage before I fell to my knees onto the linens and just sobbed like a child in time out.

“Fuck!” I screamed out with anger then I wiped away my tears that continued to fall even after I would rid my cheeks of them, “God damn you, John!” I cried in a pathetic manner, hating this vulnerable feeling. This is a new me and I’m not too sure I like it. I feel like I need John in my life in order to live properly and that scares the living shit out of me. I haven’t ever had to depend on someone else like this before and I hate it.

As my tears died down a bit, I sniffled sadly before looking up at my door way only to see my brother standing there, watching me silently but he didn’t seem worried or confused, he looked like he knew what was happening.

“Kyle,” I mumbled.

“John called me, he told me that he was back in Tempe, he just asked me to come over to see if you needed anything since you don’t have a car at the moment,” He smiled, “But I’m assuming you’ve already talked to him, because when I talked to him as far as he knew you were still sleeping.”

I looked up at my brother and huffed, lowering my head, “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” He answered as he sat down on the edge of my bed. I shot my head up, “Get off of my bed,” I hissed.

He got up and frowned, “Why?”

“Because,” I growled, “I don’t want you on it,” I added in a harsh tone.

Kyle rolled his bright blue eyes then he looked around my room, “Do you want to head up to LA with me?” He questioned, “I really don’t want you alone with that hand, just incase it gets infected or something goes wrong, or you need help …”

“I’m not crippled,” I hissed.

“No, but you’re a fucking nut case, look at you, you’re tearing shit up. Just for a bit, plus Mom’s been worried about you, Dad told her that you and John left for the weekend and she got pissed because he didn’t know where you two went.”

I sat there, thinking about his offer then I picked myself up, “Give me an hour,”

“Ok,” He smiled a little, “I’m going to go pick up some coffee and gas up while you get ready.” He looked me over once more then laughed as he walked away without another word.

Once I heard him leave my apartment, I slouched my shoulders and lowered my head knowing that I wouldn’t be happy anywhere in the world unless John was by my side. I’d be miserable in Tempe and I’m miserable here without John, I just hope he manages to get out here in two weeks instead of four. I’m not sure I can keep my sanity intact for that long without him. Damn him for making me like this.

Damn him for stealing my heart like no other boy has before.