Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

“Oh my God, it’s hideous!” Annie laughed as she looked at the Station Wagon with wood panels parked in John’s space.

“I know!” I agreed with happiness, “It was totally Jake’s idea though; I can’t get the real car delivered over here for another two weeks so in the mean time, he convinced me to get the shittiest car I could find and make John believe that it’s his real car.” I shook my head, “John is going to be so fucking pissed off, it won’t even be funny. I may end up breaking down and ruining the whole surprise if it begins to be too much.” I informed her.

Annie looked over at me with her pregnant belly about to pop, “He’s not even gonna talk to you,” She assured, “Because his old car that you sold to begin with, was a nice car.”

“Yeah, but the new car I got him, is better. It’s a fully restored 1969 Dodge Charger, black with white interior, he’s going to love it, it’s beautiful … hell, I want it, John can I have my Ranger Rover.” I smirked.

Annie smiled then shook her head, “Well, I’m going in, I don’t want to be here when John pulls up and sees that piece of shit in his space.” She mumbled then started towards the building, “Good luck.”

“Thanks, I think I’m gonna need it.” I mumbled then watched her disappeared inside.

Then, like she knew he was just around the corner, John pulled into the parking lot with my car. He waved at me a bit then started to park my car when his eyes caught the shitty car in his parking space. With a frown upon his cute face, John put my car into park before killing the engine.

As he got out, he kept his eye on the car, “Dakota Mae … why is this car in my spot?” He questioned simply.

“It’s your new car,” I smiled, going along with the plan.

Taking off his sunglasses and hanging them off his shirt, he shut the car door and walked over to me, “What do you mean it’s my new car? What was wrong with my old car?”

“I broke it,” I lied.

“What the fuck? What do you mean you fucking broke it!?” He wailed.

“I crashed it,” I went on, “So … I bought this with the money I had left over from fixing the other person’s car that I hit.” I mumbled, trying to act sad, “I have no more money left, I had to borrow two hundred from my brother to help pay for that and … my Dad paid our rent this month.”

John turned his entire body so it was facing me as he glared down at me with eyes that told me he found no amusement in this. My normally laid-back, easy going fiancé was furious with me and with all honesty; I didn’t know how to handle it, despite the fact that this was all a joke, it seemed all too real.

“This isn't fucking funny, Dakota!” John yelled.

I made a face as I stared at him, staying silent, not having heard him talk to me like this before, well with this tone of voice at least.

“Fuck!” He wailed loudly then shook his head violently before running his hand over his face. Glancing at me, he looked like he wanted to say something else but he simply walked away into the apartment building. Biting down on my lip, I stared at the car then hurried in after him. Once I was inside, John had already made it to the apartment.

When I walked into our apartment, he was slamming around and yelling profound words at anyone and everyone, including Bentley who was just happy to see him.

“It’s always this way with you Dakota Mae!” John wailed at me as he turned and looked at me, “Seriously, it seems like you think you can do whatever the fuck you want and not get yelled at for it or whatever. It’s always Dakota … it’s all about you, all the fucking time!” He shook his head, “That was my fucking car, why didn’t you just tell me, I have fucking insurance for it!”

“Oh, don’t get me started O’Callaghan, it isn't always me all the time!” I screamed, “If it was always me all the time, we wouldn’t be having the Wedding in Arizona for you and your family!” I screamed at him.

John stared at me, “That’s how you want to play this now!?” He screamed.

“Yeah, if you’re going to be a fucking asshole about this then hell yes, let’s start this little argument!” I yelled back as I glared evilly, “This entire Wedding has been planned around you and your family … and what you want!” I pointed out, “The only thing that I’ve gotten to pick is my fucking dress!”

“Bullshit!” John called me out, “You picked the flowers, the colors, the guest list, the menu, the place that it’s being held out, hell you even picked out to have it in Arizona … this entire Wedding is all about you!”

“Fine!” I screamed as I tugged my ring off and threw it at him, “Then I’m doing another thing for me!” I snapped, “Get the fuck out of my apartment, and don’t come back!” I ordered then I reached down into my purse on the couch and pulled out all the paperwork for the Charger. Walking back to John, I shoved the papers at him and glared, “There, you fucking asshole … enjoy it because it’s the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

John took the papers from me, eyeing them intently before his face softened and he looked up at me. Holding back tears, I pointed to the door, “Get out,” I ordered coldly, “Go away … I hate you.”

John looked back at the papers then slowly sat them down on the coffee table then he bent down to pick my engagement ring up off of the floor. Eyeing it heavily, he placed it on top of the papers before leaving the apartment without a single word.

Once he left the apartment, Nathaniel and Annie walked out from the hallway and looked at me blankly. I looked over at them, finally letting my tears fall before scooping Bentley up and walking to my room. With the door shut and locked, my curtains shut tight so no light could get in. I changed into my PJ’s and curled up on my bed with Bentley. With uncontrollable tears falling down my cheeks, I knew that I would see John again, I’d have to at some point in time, but I wasn’t so sure if everything would be alright because at this current moment in time, I feel like it’s the end of the world, and I’m dying a painfully slow death.

***********************

Wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, I shifted around on my small twin bed as Jared snored loudly in the bed next to mine. Not wanting to be here, I sat up and continued to cry as the pain of what happened earlier today played over and over in my mind.

I probably shouldn’t have gotten so mad to begin with, but I’ve had a pretty shitty few days. I’m home sick, and not San Diego home sick, but Arizona home sick. I miss my friends, I miss my family, and to top it off, I miss the familiar landscape. Out here in California, yes it feels like a second home, but everything is still so foreign for me.

When I got back to the apartment and I saw that car in my parking space, I lost my cool. I should’ve known that it was a joke, there wouldn’t have been anyway in hell that Dakota would’ve truly let me drive that around for real but I wasn’t thinking clearly so I didn’t get it. I blew up at Dakota and that led to more fighting and ultimately her kicking me out.

She took her ring off and threw it at me, not knowing what exactly that meant, I don't know if the Wedding is still on, or if we’re even together anymore. Climbing out of bed, I grabbed a lighter off of my nightstand along with a pack of cigarettes then I left the apartment, going down to the parking lot. I’m not much of a smoker, never have been but since the fight, I’ve gone through a pack and a half already.

Leaning against our dirty white van, I smoke quietly as my tears continued to fall and my heart ached within my chest. This time, this is my fault and I don't know how to fix it, Dakota Mae is stubborn, it wont be easy for me to win her back, but I’ve got to somehow because I can’t live without her.