Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

Quickly getting into my car, I sat in the driver’s seat with relief then I reached over and locked the door before putting the key into the ignition and starting the engine. I continued to sit there with my car running as I ran my hands down my face. For the last hour and a half to two hours I had lunch with Danny and Kathy, along with the boys. It was torturous in ways that I never thought possible.

Nearly everything that was said had something to do with Peyton and if it didn’t the conversation was quickly turned back to Peyton. I felt smothered by her memory, a feeling I haven’t felt in months. All my progress of getting my life under control was just thrown completely out of the window, I feel like curling up in a dark corner somewhere in the fetal position and just crying my eyes out.

Softly, there was a knock on my window making me jump then look up at the person standing at my window. When I looked up, I didn’t expect to meet the blue gaze of Dakota but I did. She made a cute confused face then pointed down, hinting she wanted me to roll the window down. I rolled the window down then looked at her, saying nothing.

“Are you ok?” She asked, her tone was serious, something I haven’t heard her use before, “You don’t look too stable there, O’Callaghan.”

“I-I-I’m fine,” I assured her, but I was lying.

She continued to look at me then she glanced over her shoulder at a small group of people waiting for her before she looked back at me. I could tell by the look on her face that the wheels in her head were turning quickly as she thought. Suddenly she turned all the way around, said something I didn’t quite catch to the group of her friends then she walked around the back of my car to the passenger side door. She pointed to the lock and made her eyes wide.

Leaning over without thinking I unlocked the door then watched as the pretty blonde got inside my car. She looked absolutely stunning today, not that she hasn’t looked stunning the last two days that I’ve seen her but today she’s in a simple white sundress and looks breathtaking.

She shut the door then smiled at me innocently, “Let’s go somewhere,” She insisted.

“Where?” I mumbled.

She made a face then shrugged, “Anywhere,”

“What about your friends?” I questioned.

“They’ll live, they pulled me out of bed to come here … I didn’t really want to go to lunch with them anyway. Those fuckers are lame.” She smirked.

I smiled at her then I put my car into gear, backing out of the parking space then I put it into drive and left the parking lot of the restaurant. Once I was on the road, I just drove with no destination, hoping we’d ultimately end up somewhere decent. I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and pushed my thoughts of Peyton out of my head as I tried to focus on present. Right here, right now.

“Um, do you sit in parking lots and cry a lot?” She asked.

“I wasn’t crying,” I snapped a little too harshly.

Dakota simply laughed, “Alright, you weren’t crying.” She agreed with me then sighed, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” I answered.

“Well, this silence is killing me.”

“I didn’t ask you to get into my car,” I spat.

Suddenly, she reached over to my steering wheel then she pulled the wheel to the right, making my car cut across three lanes of traffic, luckily there was no one directly behind me or next to me. Once we were on the shoulder, I came to a screeching halt then I looked at her with anger in my eyes, “What the fuck, Dakota!?” I screamed.

She turned to me and glared meanly, “Asshole,” She said simply then she got out of my car, slamming the door shut as she did so. She didn’t hesitate once she was out of the car, she just turned towards the direction we just came from and started walking off.

I continued to sit in my car for a second then I looked over my shoulder to see the pretty girl running across the street before getting up on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road that I was on. Putting my car into gear, I quickly made a U-turn and caught up with her. Rolling the passenger side window down, I looked over at her as I drove slowly next to her, “Get in,” I ordered.

“No, Fuck off you whiney asshole.” She growled, “I thought you may have needed a friend because you were looking pretty fucking pathetic in that parking lot. For a moment I felt sorry for you because you’re going through hell, I thought that maybe that just fucking maybe we could have a good time but no, you have to get all shitty with me.” She shot me a death glare, “I’m over it, O’Callaghan. Feel fucking sorry for yourself, I don’t give fuck.”

I was speechless, Dakota had more depth to her than I thought she did. She isn’t just a pretty face with a dirty mouth.

“Please get in?” I asked, “I’m sorry Dakota, I just had a really shitty lunch with … with Peyton’s family.”

At the sound of Peyton’s name Dakota’s body seemed to tense more than it was. Was she jealous of Peyton even though she knows she’s gone? Being jealous of someone who is dead seems a bit petty to me, but then again I don’t know that she is jealous.

“Maybe you should just go, O’Callaghan, I’ll see you next week at work.” She insisted simply.

“Dakota, please just get in … I said I was sorry.”

She shook her head, “Sometimes sorry just doesn’t cut it, O’Callaghan. I tried to be sympathetic but you just pushed me away, so you know what go cry in parking lots, I don’t care.” She glanced at me and her blue eyes seemed hurt and I don’t understand. Did I miss something somewhere?

She stopped her walking so I stopped driving. She looked at me with anger, “Leave me alone, now.” She demanded sternly.

I frowned, “Dakota,” I sighed.

“Go!” She screamed, “Get the fuck away from me or I’ll scream rape.” She snapped, and I knew she wasn’t joking.

I glared at her then I stepped on the gas, speeding away but after I did so I glanced in my rearview mirror to see her with her head hung low and her walking had slowed down a bit.

Before I knew it, I was walking into my house and I tossed my keys onto the counter still a bit dumbfounded by what had just happened.

“How was lunch?” My Dad asked.

I looked at him and shrugged, “Painful,” I answered.

He raised his eyebrows, “Ok … what’s wrong?”

I made a face, “I think I just had my first fight with a girl I barely know yet I’ve fallen for.” I nodded a bit, “I’m not sure how I feel about it just yet.”

He smiled, “Sounds like love,” He said simply.

I frowned, “Dad …”

“Johno, it’s ok to let yourself fall in love again. It won’t hurt a thing.”

“I barely know her,” I frowned, “Like seriously …”

“Is this Dakota we’re talking about?”

“How do you know about Dakota?”

“You have a very nosey little brother who has a big mouth,” He paused, “That and I knew there was a reason you took that second job at the bowling alley when you didn’t need to.” He smiled happily, “So, you had a fight?”

“Yeah, it happened really fast. I couldn’t stop myself from being an ass, she just was trying to be a good friend. I didn’t even expect to see her there, she was going to lunch with friends and out of all the places in Tempe she ended up at Friday’s, she saw me having a break down in my car and came to see if I was ok. She ditched her friends for me.”

“It’s love,” He smiled more, “Johno, even if this relationship doesn’t last, or even work out just put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable. You need a girl in your life, Peyton was so amazing, we all loved her but it’s time to move on, it’s time to be happy. You’re not married, you didn’t have a child with her … well technically speaking …” He frowned, “Anyway, you just turned nineteen, have some fun … without booze.” He smirked, “Just let loose, go for a road trip to nowhere with her and a few of your friends.”

“How do I make this up to her?” I whispered with a frown.

He shrugged and smiled, “You’ll figure it out,” He assured me then he walked away, “Feels good to fall head over heels again, doesn’t it?”

“Not really,” I muttered then I sat down at the kitchen counter, realizing that I am in fact falling and I’m falling hard for Dakota. She’s my complete opposite yet we have so much in common, it’s extremely hard for me to understand let alone explain.

I just had a bi-polar moment; I went from being extremely depressed to being upset and furious now I’m just confused. Dakota came out of left field and just fell into my life when I least expected her to. In less than three days she has managed to turn my world completely upside down and she made me smile my first genuine smile in over year.

Maybe it isn’t love just yet, maybe it’s still just lust. I like her a lot, and I can see myself having a relationship with her yet love is an extremely serious word and without the feelings to back it, it simply is just a word. I never felt this way with Peyton, I loved her like no tomorrow yet she didn’t make me feel this way so does this mean I don’t love Dakota?

I don’t have much to give Dakota, I’m broken. I’m sure she doesn’t want damaged goods, I have issues in all points of my life. This just seems to be happening way to fast and I cant get a grip on things, it’s scary but maybe my Dad is right, maybe this is exactly the thing I need; vulnerability.

I have to make everything up to Dakota and prove to her that I’m worthy of her time. To show her that I’m sorry for being an ass and that I, for some strange reason, care for her … love her. And I’m not going to back down until she gives me a second chance.