Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

Walking into my apartment, I dropped my bag onto the couch before kicking the door shut, feeling dirty and violated. Slowly coming out of the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand, Nathaniel eyed me curiously, “What’s up your butt?” He asked simply.

“Fuck off, asshole.” I growled lowly before storming off to my room.

“What did I do?” He wondered in a pathetic manner but I chose not to say anything else to him as I slammed my bedroom door shut.

The noise from the door caused Bentley, who was sleeping on the bed, to jump wake and look at me as if I had just hit him or something along those lines. When he noticed it was just me, he laid his head back down and closed his eyes, “I’m glad you’re fucking comfortable.” I hissed at the dog before hurrying into the bathroom.

Practically ripping my clothes off, I got in the shower and scrubbed my body viciously. No more than twenty minutes ago, I had my first prenatal doctors appointment and I had to be examined, inside and out if you know what I’m saying. I had all sorts of tools shoved into me, as well as my doctor’s fingers, now I know this was all professional and it all had to be done for the sake of the child growing within me, but I hated every second of it.

But after all that was said and done, I was able to see the little being growing with in me. Yes, it looked like a little peanut or some sort of bug, but it was a very surreal moment. It was then and only then, did I accept the fact that I am, in fact pregnant and I have to accept it. After I accepted it, I found myself more in love with that being growing within me than I have ever been with anything in my life, and I haven’t even met it yet, I don't know my child but the love is already unconditional.

Before I knew it, the water in my shower had turned cold and I was being forced out basically. Turning the water off, I reached out and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself just in time to hear a knock on the bathroom door, “Dakota?” Nathaniel asked, “Johno is on the phone, want me to have him call back?”

“No,” I snapped then I opened the door and snatched the phone away from my brother, “Get out,” I ordered.

He eyed me oddly then left my bedroom. I put the phone to my ear and frowned, “What?” I growled.

“How was it?” John questioned, ignoring my angry tone.

“I hated it.” I answered, “I had things shoved into me, cold, metal things, then a strangers fingers!”

“Well he isn't technically a stranger.” John pointed out.

“They weren’t your fingers and they sure as hell weren’t mine, so yeah, it was a stranger!” I hissed.

“I’m sorry, love.”

“I saw the baby,” I whispered.

“Did you?”

“Yeah, it looks all weird.” I informed my Husband, “I have an ultrasound, I’ll scan it then e-mail it to you, it’s really hard to see and it looks like some sort of bug or peanut…”

John laughed cutely, “Are you healthy?”

“Yes, Dr. Jacobs said that I was in perfect health and my body was definitely baby ready. Apparently I have a text book pelvis, which I’m guessing is a good thing.”

“Anything else?”

“The due date,” I mumbled, “December third.” I informed him, “But the baby could be anywhere from two weeks early to two weeks late, but the ideal date would be December third.”

“A winter baby.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a good thing, I’ll be home for holidays.”

“I wish you were here today, I feel so grossed out right now.” I admitted, “Seriously, ew.”

“Well, Dakota Mae, it needed to be done.”

“I know but still,”

“I know,” John mocked, “Dakota, we’re gonna make this pregnancy work and we’re going to experience it together, promise.”

“How can we do that if you’re always gone?”

“We’ll do little things, like read the same new parent books together over the phone, watch stuff on TV together over the phone, if you want me to, I’ll even find a birthing class to sit in on so I know what the fuck I’m doing while you’re in labor and delivering the baby.”

I smiled, “You’d do that?”

“Yeah, it may be a little creepy for the other new parents, but if it makes you happy, I’ll do it. Just because I’m on the road, doesn’t mean I can’t be apart of this pregnancy.” He paused, “And when we’re together we’ll make the most of it, like shopping, designing the nursery…”

“The nursery,” I cut him off, “We need to move,” I frowned, “John, we need to move.” I said again, this time more seriously.

He was silent for a moment, “Yeah, I guess we do.”

“Do you know what this means?”

“Uh, hectic house hunting?” He asked.

“It means our first home,” I pointed out.

“And that,”

“Nathaniel and Annie can have this apartment,” I assured as my mind started racing, “And we can move into a new house.”

“Or, they can move with us … Dakota I don't want you living alone, well technically you won’t be living alone, but I won’t be there a lot. I’d feel better if they came with us.”

“Fine,” I huffed, “We’ll get a big enough house to hold two families.”

John laughed into the phone, “We don't need to worry about that right now, we actually don't need to worry about anything, you just need to take it easy, get over that morning sickness and adjust to being pregnant.”

“You don't just get over morning sickness, John.” I pointed out, “It isn't the flu. Dr. Jacobs said I could have it all throughout the pregnancy, but typically it goes away in the second trimester.”

“You know what I mean, Dakota Mae.” He said sternly.

“John Cornelius O’Callaghan the sixth.” I mumbled.

“What?” John asked then there was a silence between us, “Seriously?”

“Well, don’t you want to keep the name going if it’s a boy?” I wondered, “I mean, you’re the fifth, why stop when the name has come so far already?”

“I’d love to keep the name going,” He said with a happy tone.

“And if it’s a girl, we’ll think of a good name.” I paused, “I don't want to know what we’re going to have.”

“Why not?”

“Because, it takes the fun out of the pregnancy,” I paused, “And we can make the nursery a neutral color that would work for either a boy or a girl, and do the same with the baby clothes, just get the basics. Or get some girl clothes and some boy clothes, but not a lot of either. I don't want to know.”

“Alright,” John agreed, “I can handle that,”

“Ok,” I frowned a little bit, “I’m going to get dressed, eat, then take a nap with Bentley.”

“Get dressed?” John muttered, “You’ve been naked this entire time?”

“I’m not in the mood, O’Callaghan.” I reminded sternly.

“Sorry,” He whispered, “Go get dressed, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you, cross my heart and hope to die, believe me?”

“I believe you. I love you too, you know it?”

I grinned, “I know it … Bentley loves you too.”

“Well, tell that flea bag I love him too,” John laughed playfully, “And can I share our big news or should we wait?”

“Wait,” I answered, “Just for a few more weeks, just incase.”

“Don't talk like that,” John ordered sternly.

“It could happen,”

“I don't want to hear it, Dakota Mae.”

“Call me before or after your show, but just call me.”

“Ok, be good.”

“I should be telling you that,” I laughed, “Bye, O’Callaghan.”

“Talk to you later, Dakota Mae.”

With that, I hung up the phone then quickly dressed my cold body as I shivered with goose bumps all over my body. Once I had on my clothes, I crawled onto my bed and decided to skip the food for now.

Curled up with Bentley, I stared blankly at the wall as my thoughts raced through my head. Hearing my bedroom door open and close, I didn’t bother to look to see who came in, knowing it wasn’t a stranger, it had to be a friend or family member.

“Hey miss thing,” I heard Dane mumble as my bed shifted from his weight, “What are you doing in here all by yourself and being a bitch to your brother?” He asked as he wrapped an arm around me and rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Nothing,” I answered softly.

“You’re lying,” Dane pointed out as he reached out and ran his hand over Bentley’s sleeping body, “He’s getting so big, yet he’s going to be so small.” He laughed.

I made a face, “He’s a Jack Russell, of course he’s not going to be huge.”

“I got good news, Dani and I wanted you to be the first to know, giving you’re our bestest and all.”

“What would that be? You monsters finally found a house?”

“I wish, I’m so fucking sick of staying with the parental units while looking for a place, I don't get why Dani put our two weeks in on our apartment when we obviously weren’t ready.” He huffed then shook his head, “But that’s not the news, Dani is two months pregnant.” He whispered, “We’re stoked.”

I turned around in his arms and looked at the good looking boy, “Me too,” I informed him, “But don't tell anyone,” I growled with a frown, “I’m only four and a half weeks though,” I added softly.

Dane grinned, “Do you know how happy this will make Dani?” He asked, “She’s been bitchin’ around saying that I don't understand anything about everything, so having another pregnant person to bitch around with will make her happy.”

“It’ll make me happy too. My Mom is pregnant, but it’s different.” I reached over and messed his hair up, “You need a hair cut, you’re gonna look like O’Callaghan soon.”

“No, Johno looks decent with long hair, I just look like a fuckin’ bum.” He laughed, “Nathaniel thinks you have really shitty PMS right now.”

“I just came back from my first prenatal care visit.” I wrinkled my nose.

“No need to say a word, I went with Dani to hers. I know.”

“I went alone,” I rolled my eyes, “Which was the biggest mistake, I should’ve made Lilly or Michelle come with me but I didn’t want anyone to know, hell I didn’t even want to know that I was pregnant.” I frowned, “John was the one who put all the signs together then got me a test.”

“That’s right, you aren't the first girl he’s impregnated, huh?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Oh, Dakota Mae … why do you gotta act like that?” He questioned.

“Because I can.”

“It’s not nice,”

“When have I ever been nice?”

“You have a point, but he’s your Husband, you need to be nice to him … he’ll divorce your ass. And that would be a shame, seeing as how he’s the only guy in this world who can actually handle your shit.”

“You can,” I pointed out.

“I didn’t when we first met, I hated you …”

“Then we fucked,” I teased.

“Once,” He held up a finger, “And we were piss drunk stupid and …”

“It was a mistake,” I laughed.

“Yeah, well … I wouldn’t go that far with it, because it seemed like after that we became best friends but—“

“It should’ve been avoided.” I rolled my eyes then I rolled over onto my back. Staring up at the ceiling, I wrinkled my nose as I inhaled deeply, “I’m scared of this pregnancy.”

“Why?”

“I don't know, it’s new for me, uncharted territory I guess. Plus, John is gonna be on the road for the majority of this year, it’s just gonna be … hard.”

“It’ll be fun and you two will make it work. Johno isn't going to miss a single moment, he may not be here in person, but you two will be video chatting, always on the phone, he’ll be demanded a new photo of you every week, trust me.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” He teased as he sat up, “Get up and dressed, O’Callaghan … let’s go pick Dani up and head to dinner together, you two can gossip about pregnancy and I can sit there feeling all alienated and what not. It’ll be fun.” He got off of my bed, “I’ll be in the living room.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” I ordered as I slowly sat up.

“Secrets safe with me, promise.” He assured before leaving my room.

Once he was gone, I looked over at Bentley and frowned a bit, “You miss Daddy, huh?” I asked, seeing his depressed little face and also noticing he was curled up against John’s pillow, “I miss him too,” I kissed his head softly, “I’m gonna go to dinner but when I get back, we’ll snuggle and watch shitty TV together.”

Bentley just stared at me sadly before sighing loudly and closing his eyes.

Climbing off of the bed, I lazily changed into some decent clothes before going into the bathroom to fix my hair so it wasn’t damp and messy.

As I stared at myself in the mirror, I slowly turned to the side and lifted my shirt. Placing my hand against my flat stomach, I tried to imagine myself with a baby bump, but I couldn’t, not yet at least. Wrinkling my nose, I let my shirt drop down as I went back to fixing my hair.

I just hope Dane is right about John and that John isn't lying about doing everything possible to be apart of this pregnancy but this isn't the time for him to chicken out like a bitch. For the first time in our relationship, I need John to be the man I know he can be.