Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

Walking through the mall slowly, I followed my Mother silently while she talked a mile a minute about my new siblings’ room. With her hands flying about as she yapped about God knows what, I randomly would agree with her but honestly I held no interest in the new baby’s room.

Abruptly, I stopped my walking before entering ‘Hot Topic’. Walking straight to the object that caught my eye, I picked it up then frowned at it in my hands before a small smile appeared on my face. Shaking my head, I just laughed to myself not having seen this in a store yet.

“I love them,” An unfamiliar face told me.

I turned to the pretty girl who is about sixteen and smiled, “Yeah?” I asked.

“The Maine are amazing, have you heard of them?” She asked then frowned, “Well obviously you have if you’re holding their EP, right?” She laughed then shrugged, “I can’t wait until Can’t Stop Won’t Stop.”

I nodded slowly, “Yeah,” I agreed as I put the CD case back down into it’s display before walking away. As I walked out of the store, my Mother was walking back towards me with a frown on her face, “Dakota! You’re just as bad as Daddy!” She snapped at me, “You have the attention span of a fucking goldfish.”

I laughed at her, “Sorry, I just saw John’s band’s EP in the store, it was a bit surreal I guess.”

She looked into the store, “Really?” She asked before she walked into the store, “Which one is it, Dakota?”

“That one,” I pointed it out, “The Way We Talk, one.”

“Oh,” She said then grabbed all of them in the stack, “I have to brag to my friends,” She insisted as she walked to the check out counter.

“Mom,” I sighed, “If you want one, I can get you one.”

She looked over at me, “Well, I’m buying it so this is potentially gonna end up in a check for Johno at some point in time yeah?”

“I guess,” I answered, “They make more money off of concert tickets and merch,” I informed her, “But go ahead, buy twenty copies of the EP, he’ll be happy to hear about it.”

“Have you purchased one?”

“Yes, both … a physical one and the digital one … plus I have a million lying around the apartment in boxes.” I folded my arms over my chest as I watched my Mother.

“This is my son-in-laws band,” She informed the guy who worked in the store, “His name’s Johno,”

I laughed softly before leaving the store, not being able to handle it anymore. As I waited outside, the girl who had talked to me in the store stopped and looked at me, “You know The Maine?” She questioned oddly.

Of course, the singer knocked me up, “I guess.” I answered softly before shrugging my shoulders.

She grinned, “All of them or just a few?”

“All of them,” I mumbled then I frowned at her, “Are you like their biggest fan or something?”

“I’ve been a fan since ‘Daisy’.” She assured me in a bitchy tone, “Back before they had Jared and Kennedy.”

“Ah,” I made a face, “I have to go,” I insisted as I started to walk away.

“Dakota!” My Mom snapped as she hurried over to me, “I don't want to do the room in blue this time,” She said simply.

“What?”

“The baby’s room, I told you I was having a boy in the car, were you not listening again?”

I blushed, “Sorry, so another boy huh?”

“Yes, the story of my life …” She looked at me then over at the girl that had been talking to me, “Do you know her?”

“No, I don't let’s go before she hears something she’s not supposed to, she’s a fan of the band.”

“Oh!” My mom smiled, “We should try to get her free tickets or something.”

“No, Mom … I’m not going to get her on the guest list,” I shook my head, “Not everyone needs to know that I’m married to John from The Maine; they’re getting bigger and honestly, I don't want to be apart of that part of his life.”

“Well you are,” She insisted, “You’re his Wife, his best friend, his partner in life, you’re apart of it whether you want to be or not. You need to accept the fact that you married a musician.”

“It’s not like I married Pete Wentz for fuck’s sake! I married a dirty band boy from Tempe!” I huffed then I shook my head, “I don't want to talk about this, we came here to search for shit for the baby’s room, not talk about O’Callaghan and his damn fans.”

“What’s with you?” My Mom questioned softly as we continued on our journey to one of many baby stores in the mall.

“I just don't want to talk about John and the band, that’s all.” I assured her, “It’s not something I like to talk about unless it’s about them coming home, and since they’re over on the other side of the country right now, I don't want to talk about it.”

She eyed me silently but said nothing.

“Fine!” I snapped, “I’m pregnant, ok? Are you happy now? You know what’s wrong with me, O’Callaghan fuckin’ knocked me up!”

My Mother stopped in her tracks and stared at me before smiling, “Really?” She asked, “How long have you known?”

I shrugged, “About a month now, I’m nine weeks.”

“This is amazing, you should be happy!” She exclaimed as she hugged me tightly.

“I am happy, but I get these horrible mood swings, ten times worse than I normally get.” I admitted as I backed away from her, “Plus, John isn't around.”

“So you like to act like he doesn’t exist?”

“Basically.” I laughed, “Seriously, enough talk about me … let’s go shopping for my new brother; also, no one else knows except for John and Dane, now you.”

“Well you need to start telling people.”

“No, not yet … I’m just getting used to being pregnant, I don't want to jinx it by telling everyone then having miscarriage. I want to wait until I can’t put it off any longer.” I blushed, “Can we not talk about this?”

She let out a soft sigh then nodded as we started walking once more. After that, everything was silent between the two of us until we had reached our destination. Once we were in the store, I had wandered away from her and found myself looking at baby boy clothes.

I couldn’t tell you why I felt the need to look at boy clothes but ever since I went to the Doctors to confirm my pregnancy, I’ve had this weird feeling that I’m carrying a little boy within me. I’m ninety five percent sure that mine and John’s first child will be John Cornelius O’Callaghan the sixth.

Taking a light blue onesie off of the rack, I smiled softly before reaching down to my stomach with one hand.

“Buy it,” My Mom said simply from behind me, “If you don't, I will then I’ll give it to you as a gift in front of Daddy.”

I turned to her, “I don't even know what I’m having, I’m only nine weeks.”

She shrugged, “A Mother’s instincts are hardly ever wrong, I have guessed the genders of all my kids and was never wrong, except with you and Delilah. I thought at first I was having a boy, then I switched to a girl then I didn’t know what was growing in me, that’s when I found out that I was having twin girls.” She smiled, “But with Kyle, Nathaniel and this one … I’ve been right.”

Shaking my head a bit, I put the onesie back and frowned, “I don't need it, not now.”

“For crying out loud,” She hissed as she took the onesie in her hands and walked away, “I’m doing what I said I was going to do, I’m going to give it to you as a gift in front of Daddy; he has a right know that his Daughter is pregnant.”

“Mom,” I sighed softly but maybe it’s better this way, so I technically don’t have to sit my Father down and tell him, he’ll just sort of find out. Honestly, I don't want to see his face when he hears that I’m pregnant, I’m afraid he’ll get all emotional on me and right now him getting emotional on me is the last thing I need. I know that’s a selfish thing for me to say, but I have so much other shit on my mind and that I have to deal with that seeing my Father cry because his only Daughter that made it past age eight is pregnant.

Following my Mother to the other side of the store where she had been looking at furniture for the new nursery, I fell quiet as I watched her eye everything intently while she thought about what she wanted the room to look like. Finally she looked up at me and wrinkled her nose, “Would that chair, that changing table and that crib all match in the same room even though they’re from different furniture sets?” She questioned me as she pointed everything out.

I nodded, “The chair and the crib would, the changing table is too dark.” I said honestly, “But it’s beautiful, I love the color.”

She looked at me then at the changing table, “That’s funny that you say that, because that’s the exact color of the furniture that was in the nursery with you and Delilah.”

“Was it?” I asked with a smile.

“Yeah, I didn’t like it at first but it grew on me, Daddy had picked it out without my knowledge.”

“Oh,” I whispered then I sighed, “But the chair and crib match,” I said, getting back on topic at hand.

“Ok,” She nodded then she turned around to look at more furniture, “Oh Dakota, look.” She gushed as she walked away then sat down in a sliding rocker, “These are so comfortable it isn't even funny.” She insisted as she completely relaxed, “I love these, I wish I had the one I bought when I was pregnant with you, I should’ve never sold it.” My Mother then glanced up at me, “Do you have a comfy chair yet?”

“A comfy chair?” I asked with a laugh.

“Oh you laugh now, but when you get big with huge ankles, you’ll be wanting one.”

“I have my comfy couch that I picked out and love.” I pointed out, “Does that count?”

“No,” She shook her head then she stood to her feet and grabbed a slip of paper that had the chair’s barcode on it, “I’m buying it and I’m putting it in the living room, I don't care what your Father says.”

I raised my eyebrow but said nothing in response. With a loud sigh, I sat down in the chair next to the one that she’s buying then watched my Mother walk around like a kid in a candy store. Shaking my head, I simply smiled and suddenly I didn’t feel so alone in this pregnancy. Maybe not telling everyone is the wrong idea, maybe I should tell people so I have people to turn to because honestly, I just need someone to talk to about everything, besides John because all I ever do is get sad when I talk to him about the pregnancy over the phone.

Telling people that I’m pregnant won’t jinx it, would it? I guess the only way to find out is to actually start telling people, starting with my Father and John’s parents.