Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

Walking through the bowling alley towards the snack counter, I couldn’t hear the normal cursing and cute laugh of the blue eyed girl that somehow stole my heart. As nervous butterflies collected in my stomach, I tried to keep my composure as I neared the ordering counter. Once I was there, I felt my heart just completely drop when I saw a goofy looking teenage boy standing by the register, trying to figure out how to work it so he could get the little wanting to buy a candy bar his change.

Slowly I walked behind the counter and the boy looked at me, “Thank god you’re here, are you John?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“I’m Steve, you’re supposed to be training me today and I need help.” He said, his voice was frantic and he looked like he was about to have a meltdown.

“Watch out,” I whispered then I rang the candy bar up and got the proper change. Once the little boy was gone, I looked at ‘Steve’ and frowned deeply, “Where’s Dakota?”

He mocked my frowning face, “Dakota?” He questioned, “You mean that hot yet mean bitch that hired me?” He asked.

“Was she blonde?”

“Yeah,”

“I don’t know where she is, she hired me yesterday though … something about not being able to work weekends anymore, I decided not to give her too much attitude because her Old Man owns the place.” He laughed, “It’s the only job I can get,”

I eyed him then hit the counter before walking away and into the management office, hoping to see Dakota but all I saw was her Father. He looked up at me then sighed, “You’re quitting aren’t you?” He questioned.

“Dakota really hasn’t given me a choice,” I said simply, giving I only took this job to keep her company, I certainly didn’t ‘need’ the job.

He pointed to an empty seat, “Let me tell you something about my Daughter,” He said, “Sit down,” He ordered.

I sat down and frowned softly but said nothing.

“Dakota is a very fun loving, easy going person who loves to cuss at everything, even children and elderly people but it’s all in good fun to her … but she is very complex.” He pointed out, “Since she was seven she has split her time between here and LA because her Mother and I got a divorce. Summers in Tempe, Winters in LA. She’s learned to hide her feelings extremely well,”

“What are you getting at?” I asked, not meaning to be rude, but he was rambling.

“She likes you, John and you broke her heart. Whatever happened between the two of you has her in some sort of bind that she can’t get out of. She’s pissy towards everyone, it’s like never ending PMS.”

“Well, I don’t have her number to apologize. I was going to apologize when I got her but there’s a skinny kid working now.”

He smiled, “You didn’t hear this from me, but …” He trailed off for a moment before sighing, giving into his silent debate with himself, “She’s up on the roof.”

I stood up, “Thank you,” I said softly.

He nodded then he frowned, “If you break her heart more John, you won’t have to quit, I’ll fire you then I’ll make sure you never get to break her heart again.” He said sternly.

I stayed quiet but felt terrified, the treat worked as he had planned. On the way up to the roof, I wasn’t really thinking about what I would say, I wasn’t thinking about thing except for getting to see Dakota smile again.

On the roof, I looked around for a second before my eyes landed on Dakota sitting on the edge of the backside of the building, dangling her feet freely. I silently walked over to her then sat down a good two feet away from her.

“I’m going to rip his fucking throat out,” She growled lowly.

“Can I apologize?” I whispered.

“Wont do any good,” She assured me.

“It’s worth a try,” I mumbled then I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat, “I just got done having dinner with my ex future in-laws, everything that they wanted to talk about had to do with Peyton, and it just opened a lot of wounds that I thought were healed. A lot of my feelings resurfaced and I guess I felt threatened by you,” I made a face, “I didn’t mean to take everything out on you, I know you were just trying to help. I’m sorry if I upset you or hurt you in anyway, I didn’t mean to.”

“Ok, you apologized, now leave.” She ordered, “Now, O’Callaghan.”

I shook my head no then I looked down at the back alleyway of the bowling alley, “Do you hate me?”

She shrugged sadly, “Yes,” She snapped.

I made a face, “I deserve it,”

“You do,” Dakota agreed then she looked up at me, her normally bright blue eyes looked pale gray.

“I’m sorry I made you cry,”

“Who said that you made me cry?” She hissed.

“No one, I can tell.”

She frowned then looked away from me once again, “Go away,”

“I like you, Dakota. This is the first time that I can honestly say that I like someone since … since Peyton’s death.”

“So, I’m just some rebound?” She questioned harshly, “I don’t need your fucking pity, O’Callaghan. Go use that shit one some chick that has time for it.”

“It’s not pity and you’re not a rebound. I wasn’t looking for love, I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend or even a quick fuck, I wasn’t looking for anything and then … you happened.” I admitted, “You made me fall harder than I have ever fallen in my life. I understand if you don’t care anymore after what happened on Monday, I just needed to get all of this out in the open and apologize.”

Dakota was silent, not saying a single word as she continued to sit motionless.

I nodded to myself then I stood up slowly, “It was nice meeting you, Dakota.” I whispered then I started to walk away.

“You tell me all of that mushy romantic shit then you just leave like a pussy?” She called out, “Man up, O’Callaghan … fight for what you want. Words are just words if their not backed up by actions, you of all people should know that having been in a committed relationship before.”

I smiled softly to myself then I turned around to see her still sitting but she was looking over her shoulder at me, “You didn’t say anything,” I pointed out.

“I’m not required to, I’m not the asshole that broke my heart.” She paused, “Do I have to spell everything out for you?”

I shook my head, “No,” I answered as I walked back towards her. She sighed and stood up, walking towards me a bit before stopping a foot away from me, “I wasn’t looking for all that shit either,” Dakota mumbled, “Then I saw you, there was something … interesting about you. Your face had heartache written all over it and it was like there was a huge stamp on your forehead that said ‘Damaged’ but somehow I was drawn to you. When you were in the car the other day, I was scared you were going to hurt yourself; you looked completely out of it. It scared me shitless, and to this moment I still don’t know why it did.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I never wanted this, Tempe will never be my home … I have always hated this place with a passion but I keep coming back for my Dad,” She wrinkled her nose, “I’m leaving in three weeks, to go home … to go back to Los Angeles. I didn’t come here looking for a boyfriend, having a boyfriend here would be the last fucking I need.”

I nodded, “LA isn’t that far away,” I mumbled.

She smirked then it faded, “Fight for me, John.” She whispered, “I’m not easy by any means. I hold my own and I certainly don’t need a boyfriend. They’re whiney, moody, messy, most of them completely clueless; it’s like having a child or an animal of some sort.” She shrugged her shoulders then she frowned, “Now that we both know we’ve fallen, fix yourself O’Callaghan … get over her. If you want me, you can’t want her at the same time. I’m sorry for your lose, I truly am, I’m not completely heartless, but it’s not fair for me for you to be loving me with one foot out the door, ready to run … deal?”

I stared into her still pale gray eyes but said nothing.

“I forgive you, partially because I was at fault too. I was a bit bitchy, a bit pushy, I should’ve just let you have your space.” She whispered.

“This isn’t your fault,” I assured her then I reached up with a shaky hand and ran it through her blonde hair slowly, “How long will you wait for me?” I whispered.

“Who said anything about me waiting for you?” She raised her eyebrows.

“It’s gonna be like that?” I smiled.

She nodded, “Yeah, it’s going to be like that. If you fell for me that hard, it shouldn’t be a problem then, should it?”

“I love you, Dakota.” I said with all honesty, “For some reason that is unknown to me, I love you.”

“I fell but I’m not in love.”

“You’re lying,” I pointed out.

“Prove it,” She challenged.

“You wouldn’t be standing here if you were in love.”

She eyed me but said nothing more on the subject, “I leave in exactly three weeks, O’Callaghan.” She reminded me.

“I know.”

She turned frowned, “I’ll leave you and everything we have or could have behind if I have to.”

“I know,” I brought my other hand up to her face then cradled her face in my hands gently, “Give me a few days,” I insisted, “That’s all I need,”

Dakota just stared up into my eyes saying nothing more.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, kissing her deeply as she kissed back, not denying the attraction we have for each other.

Pulling away from her, I smiled softly then I lowered my hands from her face. She sighed then turned her back to me, “Did you quit?” She asked.

“Not yet,” I answered.

“You should probably fire Steve then,” I could hear the smile in her voice, “There’s only room for two people behind that counter, three’s too crowded.”

I smiled, “I think I’m going to let Steve keep his job. He seems to like it here and obviously us working together isn’t the best idea …”

She shot a glare my way.

“I’ll see you around, Dakota … it was fun working with you.” I smirked before walking towards the door.

“Oh by the way, your band sucks O’Callaghan … you sing like a little bitch!” She called out.

“You went to my show?” I asked as I looked at her.

“Maybe,” She insisted then she nodded, “A friend of mine likes your band, I wouldn’t have agreed to go but I didn’t want her there alone. I hate your music.”

“I don’t believe you,” I laughed then I frowned, “What are you doing Monday?”

“Working,”

“Take the day off,” I ordered, “Let’s go on a date.”

“No,” She said simply.

“I’ll pick you up around seven,”

“At night?”

“No, in the morning,” I corrected, “Where do you live?”

“Like I’m going to tell you that,” She laughed at me.

“Then I’ll pick you up at seven here … be ready, dress casual.” I paused, “Don’t forget your swimming suit either,”

“Johno, I don’t swim,” She said softly.

I stopped then looked back at her, “What?”

“I said I don’t swim,”

“Don’t swim?” I asked, “Why don’t you swim?”

“I just don’t,” She growled with anger.

“Fine, bring a swimming suit anyway,” I ordered then I left the roof before she could protest more.

When I got back down to the snack area, I saw that Dakota’s father was behind the counter with Steve showing him around. I smiled at him, “I quit,”

He frowned at me, “Did you not work things out?”

“We did, but … Steve needs a job more than I do, and Dakota said there’s only room for two people back there.” I paused, “So I quit, besides I already have another job.” I informed him, “It’s been fun,”

He huffed then watched me as I walked away. Out in my car, I couldn’t get home fast enough but as I drove home, I passed the cemetery that Peyton is buried at and before I could stop myself, I pulled in.

Parking in the parking lot, I got out before briskly walking towards Peyton’s grave, knowing exactly where she’s buried. This is the first step in finally getting over her I think. At her headstone, I stared at it then I made a face as I looked up towards the blue sky that is quickly getting dark by the moment.

“Don’t hate me,” I whispered softly, “I know Dakota isn’t my type and she’s rough around the edges but, I love her.” I inhaled deeply, “No one will ever replace you,” I looked down at the headstone, “We had good times, some of the best times but holding on is killing me, I need to let go Ducky. I love you and I always will but I think it’s time to move on. I need to move on.” I smiled softly then nodded a bit, “I love you,” I whispered one last time before I turned away from the headstone.

When I turned around I saw Danny standing there. I jumped slightly not having heard him come up behind me. He smiled then nodded, “I think she’d understand,” He assured me.

I nodded but said nothing.

“Don’t be a stranger, Johno.” He whispered, “Ted and Charlie need a big brother,” He smiled, “Ted is too attached.”

I nodded again, “Of course.”

“We’re always here for you, always.” He paused for a second, “Who is she?”

“A girl from the bowling alley,” I answered knowing he was taking about Dakota, “Her name is Dakota.”

“Love her like you’ve never loved before, you’re young and life isn’t forever.”

“I will,”

He walked over and hugged me tightly then pulled away, “Don’t forget her,” He demanded, “Move on, but don’t forget her.”

“I would never,” I insisted then I slowly started to walk away, “Peyton was my everything,”

“But now Dakota is your everything,” He smiled, “I understand, Johno.”

I sighed softly, “I’ll see you later, Danny.”

He nodded then he looked down at his daughter’s headstone. I took one last look at the middle aged man before turning my back to him and quickly walking back to my car.

Once in my car and I was driving away, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. Even if Dakota and I don’t work out, I can feel better about Peyton’s death, I never got a proper goodbye and I think that was as close as I will ever come to it.

Now that I’ve got that done and I’m well on my way to letting go, I need to focus on Dakota and her needs. I need to learn to understand the girl that I barely know yet love. I have to convince her to take a chance with me and love like she’s never loved before. I have a feeling that this wont be an easy task by any means. Dakota will definitely give me a run for my money, but I’m up for chase.