Dakota, Are You in Love With Me Too?

“… And Dad has me fucking working your shift at the damn bowling alley, plus he’s not paying me!” Nathaniel exclaimed with wide eyes as he stared back at me, “Fuck, you owe me.”

“What the fuck do I owe you for!?” I snapped back.

“Because if you didn’t go off punching a damn granite counter I could be home in San Diego, going to parties and chillin’ at the beach instead of being here in the middle of the fucking desert; I’m gonna fucking die of dehydration, how in the hell do you put up with this shit?” He growled at me.

I frowned, “You’re just an emo little bitch … pussy.”

Nathaniel said nothing to encourage my name calling but he simply leaned over and flicked one of my fingers on my broken hand before I had time to register what he was going to do.

“Fuck!” I screamed with pain as I grabbed my food tray that was on the little movable bed tray on wheel, then threw the food tray at him, “You little fucker!” I growled.

“God damn you, Dakota!” He screamed back at me as he jumped to his feet because my untouched lunch was now covering his body, “You’re such a little bitch!”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” I heard Kyle snap sternly, “I can hear the two of you down at the elevators, shit.”

I suddenly became quiet as did Nathaniel as we stared at our older brother blankly, “But he flicked my finger,” I said immaturely, “I needed to retaliate.”

“The bitch threw her food on me, look at this fucking mess.” Nathaniel mumbled as he looked down at his clothes.

Kyle looked at the both of us then shook his head, “Why couldn’t I be an only child?” He questioned to no one in particular.

I slouched in my bed and pouted not really wanting to be here. I hate to be in the same spot for too long, I need to move around but hospitals depress me something terrible so I don’t want to go walking around the floor that I’m one. John had to work today so he won’t be in until late, probably around seven or eight because he’s having a family dinner tonight as well. It’s more of a barbeque and I was invited but John told them that I was in the hospital with a broken hand preparing for surgery tomorrow so I couldn’t make it.

To be completely I’m scared to death of having surgery tomorrow, I’m such a fucking pansy when it comes to anything dealing pain. I know that I’ll be put out for it but when I wake up it’s going to hurt and my life will be fucking ruined for the next six to nine weeks. Then to top it off I’m leaving for LA as soon as I get out of the hospital. It’s by my own choice because I can’t deal with the drama that’s going on here in Tempe. Every time I see Jessica she’s telling me to just leave John and when John came back to see me last night he said that all of his friends knew about us and he didn’t tell anyone except his family and they hadn’t said anything yet because they weren’t sure if we were ‘serious’.

Needless to say I’m not Peyton and the people around here don’t like me because of it. They think I’m just going to break John’s heart but in reality if anyone breaks anyone’s heart, it’ll be John breaking mine. I’m not as strong as a lot of people think I am, I do have a sensitive side and I do get my feelings hurt, I just don’t show it too well and if I do show it, it comes out as anger or curse words. I’m a fucking mess.

“Dakota?”

I frowned softly as Kyle brought me out of my thoughts. Turning my head towards him I saw that Nathaniel was now gone and Kyle was sitting on the edge of my bed staring at me with his piercing blue eyes that are identical to not just my Fathers but to Nathaniel’s and mine as well, Delilah even had the infamous Jensen blue eyes.

“Are you ok?” Kyle questioned cocking his head to the side a bit, his actions reminding me of a dog listening intently to his owner.

Shrugging my shoulders, I nodded a bit as I looked down at my broken hand that’s in a removable brace, they didn’t want to put a cast on it yet because it would just be a waste since my surgery is tomorrow morning.

“You’re quiet,” He pointed out the obvious.

“I don’t like hospitals Kyle, you know that.”

He let out a stressful sigh before nodding his head, confirming that he knew I didn’t like hospitals, “Mom’s at Daddy’s,” He smiled wildly, “Oh god, Tori had a fit, then Mom put her in her place.”

I forced a gentle smile but it was soon to fade.

“Want me to swing by Jessica’s … get your stuff?”

“Johno is doing it,” I whispered simply.

“Oh, Johno,” He said teasingly then frowned, “I don’t like him.”

“Oh fuck off, you don’t like any guy that looks at me but you’re all talk.”

“I don’t know,” He made a face, “No other guy has looked at you the way John does,” He pointed out, “Daddy and I are a bit worried.”

“Don’t you two have lives? Do you need to be butting into mine?”

“Yes,” He answered with a laugh, “It’s what brothers and Dad’s are for dipshit.”

I rolled my eyes but said nothing more.

“Nathaniel threatened John last night you know.”

“Great, that’s just one more thing I need to yell at him for. What is Nathaniel’s problem lately?”

“Girl problems,” He answered, “His current girlfriend found out that he talks to a few of his ex girlfriends still but they’re strictly friends and his new girlfriend is acting all kinds of crazy. That’s one of the reason’s he was at Mom’s. He was crashing there for a few days to give his girlfriend space.”

“What a little bitch,” I laughed as I shook my head, “Who knew he was so fucking whipped?”

“I did,” Kyle laughed lightly, “So much drama has gone down this summer, be lucky you were in here Tempe.” He eyed me, “Are you going home to your apartment in San Diego or are you staying in LA for a few days?”

“I’m probably going to stay in LA, do you see my hand? I can’t be alone right now and Nathaniel won’t stay with me.”

“Well, he stayed at your place a few times.” He informed me.

“Did he?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why though.”

“I swear to god if my place is a mess when I get home, we’ll be burying Nathaniel Jensen.”

Kyle smirked then shook his head as he looked around my room, “Let’s go walk around.”

“No,” I answered.

“You got your own PJ’s and your Dino slippers, why can’t we walk around?”

“Because,” I said simply as I looked at my Dino slippers that were on my feet, “I don’t wanna go for a walk.”

“Well, it’s boring as fuck here.”

“Tell me about it,” I laid down on my side and curled up, “I’m gonna take a nap, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

Kyle eyed me then stood to his feet, “I’ll be back,” He assured me, “With something fun to do,” He added before kissing my temple before leaving the room silently. Once he was gone I slowly closed my eyes and hoped that when I woke up John would be here and everything would be just a bit happier for me.

------------------------------------

“Miss Jensen,” I heard my nurse say to me softly before shaking me awake, “Miss Jensen,” She repeated.

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at the middle aged nurse, she smiled softly, “I’m sorry but your visitor will need to leave in ten minutes,” She informed me.

“Visitor?” I questioned softly as I sat up a little and looked around but I didn’t need to look far because sitting on a chair next to my bed John was sleeping soundly with his arms folded under his head on my bed as a pillow.

“Ok,” I smiled then I watched her leave my dim lighted room. Once I knew for sure that she was gone, I slowly ran my fingers through John’s hair with my good hand, “Hey asshole, wake up.” I snapped.

Sucking in a deep breath, John held it for a second or two before exhaling loudly and rubbing his face against his arms, “What?” He slurred still half asleep.

“Wake up,” I demanded simply.

He lifted his head and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before lazily looking at me. I looked back and frowned, “Why didn’t you wake me up when you got here?”

“You looked so peaceful,” He admitted, “Plus, I know for a fact that you got absolutely no sleep last night because you were up all night texting me.” He pointed out.

I blushed then frowned, “Do you know how hard it is to text with one hand?” I questioned.

John just shook his head and he didn’t look too interested, “I brought you a plate from the barbeque,” He said as he reached over to my nightstand and grabbed it, “I don’t know if you can have any food or not though,” He mumbled as he removed the foil to show me a plate of food that made my stomach growl viciously.

“No, I cant eat a damn thing, unless it’s jell-o.” I pouted.

“Oh,” He covered the plate and placed it back onto my nightstand, “Sorry,”

“Leave it there, I’m sure one of my brothers will have at it. It’s Nathaniel’s turn to spend the night with me but I don’t think he’ll be coming, I threw a tray of food on him earlier.”

John shook his head, “You’re a bitch,” He pointed out simply then he took my good hand between his warm, soft hands, “Are you really leaving on Monday?” He questioned.

I nodded, “Yes.”

“Is there anything I can say or do that’ll make you stay a bit longer?”

“No,” I answered.

“I knew you would say that,” He sighed.

“You can come see me in LA though,” I offered, “We don’t even need to stay in LA, we can go to my place in San Diego. It’s beachfront, you’ll like it.”

“I have work, Dakota Mae.”

“Oh,” I made a face, “Well …” I started then I bit my lip, “You’re in a band, what are you doing with a nine to five?”

John laughed as he shook his head, “I need money for when we go on tour. I’m working and saving every penny I earn. I need it to buy food, clothes, gas … more food.” He shrugged, “Plane tickets.” He added softly.

“This isn’t fucking fair,” I growled as I snatched my hand out of his.

John licked his lips as he stared at me for a moment, thinking about something or another, “Fair?” He finally questioned, “You’re the one leaving, or are you talking about something different like … people not liking the fact that we’re together?”

“You’re smart, you figure it out.”

“It’s an uphill battle,” He said simply.

“I hate everything,”

“Even me?”

“Especially you,” I pointed out.

John stood up and stretched towards the ceiling before he laid on my bed next to me, wrapping his skinny arms around me. I stayed tense for a minute, maybe two before I decided to lay my head against his shoulder and get comfortable, “Well, next weekend I have some time off, four days actually, maybe I’ll fly out to California and visit.” He mumbled as he played with my hair mindlessly.

“Ok,” I nodded.

John pressed his lips to my forehead and laughed cutely, “You’re being extra lovey tonight, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I growled.

“You’re scared,” He said matter-of-factly, “I’ll be here when you get out of surgery, I only work half a shift tomorrow.” He informed me, “I traded my afternoon half with a buddy of mine.”

I said nothing.

“Unless you don’t want me to be here,” He said slowly.

“If you’re not here I’ll cut you when you’re sleeping.”

“I’ll be here,” He said with amusement in his voice. It’s weird how John seems to be the only other person besides my family members that can see pass my bullshit and read between the lines to understand how I really feel. It’s like I’ve known him all my life.

“You have to leave soon,” I whispered sadly.

“I know it,” He lifted my head so I was looking at him and he pressed his lips to mine without any hesitation or any permission for that matter but I didn’t care because the feeling of his lips against mine brought me comfort.

After a pretty heated make out session, John forcefully pulled his lips away from my reluctant lips and he gave me a gentle smile, “I should get going, it’s been fifteen minutes instead of ten.”

I pouted, “No, don’t go.”

“I have to,” He slowly got off of my bed and leaned back to me, kissing my lips, “Have good dreams, alright?”

“No,” I replied stubbornly.

“Then have nightmares, I don’t give a fuck.” He said jokingly then he stood up straight. I let my eyes wander his lanky body before I frowned deeply. Without a word, John took off his hoodie then held it out for me. I didn’t take it I just stared at it. Rolling his eyes, he placed it on the bed next to me then stole one last kiss, “Love you,” He mumbled sincerely.

“Love you,” I mocked.

“Mean it?” He teased.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I smiled.

He smiled back then started towards the door, “I’ll be here when you get out of surgery.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” He mocked as he flashed me a cute smirk that just made me melt on the inside and in the very second I knew two things. One, ‘Cross my heart and hope to die’ will most definitely become our ‘thing’ and Two, he’s the one. I know I’m young and I barely know the guy but he’ll always be the one even if we don’t work out, he’ll always have a piece of me.

“Sweet dreams, Dakota Mae.”

I just watched him intently saying nothing more as he walked out of my room for night. After he was completely out of my view, I looked at his hoodie then slowly snuggled with it, taking in his scent and loving the fact that it was still warm. Tomorrow just can’t come fast enough.