Remember this Face, Baby.

THIRD POINT OF VIEW

Deryk’s grasp on Kayla’s hand, loosened and he pulled it away, leaving Kayla’s hand sitting on the table. He clenched his jaw, tightly and swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat. He stared at Kayla’s tear-stained face, wondering how to react. He took what she was asking him, as a large deal; he couldn’t take Karissa away from her family and he had a small idea of what his parents would think about this.

“Kayla, are you aware of what you are asking of me?” Deryk responded, quietly, staring down at his hands lying in his lap.

“I wouldn’t have asked it, if I wasn’t. Deryk, listen. I know what I’m asking you is big; trust me, I know that and I don’t want Karissa to leave, but you know its right. If Karissa gets on that plane with you in the next two weeks, she will be able to leave that school, where she has been humiliated so many times and with your help, Deryk, she can restart her life and make a living for herself,” Kayla commented, leaning forward in her seat. Deryk ran his hand through his hair and he sighed, staring at Kayla completely stunned.

“I do understand, Kayla, but I do not know how I’ll explain it to my parents, especially my Father. My Mother knows the situation; I explained it to her, but what will they think if I bring Karissa back to Chicago with me? You are asking me to make a big step for Karissa, without her consent. I do not know if I can do that, Kayla. I want to help, Karissa, as much as I possibly can, but leaving the country? She has her daughter here and her mother. She will not leave them,” Deryk told Kayla, and she shook her head, clenching her fists.

“I’m not saying we’re going to force her onto a plane; we’re going to talk to her about it. I’ll convince her, I promise you I will. She wants to start over again, I know she does. I’m her best friend and if I explain this all to her, she won’t be able to say no and I’ll convince her mom, too. Deryk, just help her get settled in Chicago. She can finish the rest of senior year there and she can find herself a job. With things like that, she can manage herself. She’s never been lazy and when she sets her mind on something, she does it. Deryk, think about it. Help Karissa restart her life. You’re her only chance,” Kayla was unwilling to give up because for the first time in her life, she felt like she was doing the right thing.

Deryk remained silent. He barely looked at Kayla and whenever Deryk did glance up, it was a brief glance and he would return to staring at his hands in his lap. Every time Deryk glanced up, Kayla’s hopes flared up and then, he averted his eyes from hers, and her hopes crashed into millions of pieces.

What made the situation between them worse was the fact that Kayla wasn’t able to read Deryk’s expressions. She had always been able to read people’s faces and when she needed this ability the most, the one person she thought she would be able to read, was blank. It angered her down deep to the core of her body, but she didn’t want to explode on Deryk. She needed to convince Deryk, Karissa was better off with him.

Twenty long minutes later, Deryk leaned forward in his seat and his eyes locked onto Kayla’s. His eyes were intense, and extremely dark-looking, and she doubted Deryk would accept the offer. She didn’t know what she would do if Deryk rejected her, because Kayla refused to have Karissa go on in this town.

“I have repeated what you said in my mind over and over again. I think the idea is truly and utterly lunatic, but you are right. If Karissa continues living in this town, she will not be able to live her life. Like you, I would not like to attend Karissa’s funeral; that would be completely unbearable,” Deryk paused, and he ran his tongue over his dry lips. Kayla’s heart was pounding, rapidly and she clung to every word he spoke to her. Her hand instantly went up to cover her mouth, as tears began to run down her smooth cheeks and she prayed.

Deryk sighed, heavily and he gave a brief nod, as if truly convincing himself this idea wasn’t as crazy as it sounded. Then, he concluded, “I promise, Kayla, once Karissa is well and walking, she will board a plane with me to Chicago and I will be the one to help her restart her life, without anymore humiliation and pain.”

FIRST POINT OF VIEW

By the time Kayla and Deryk returned to my room, an hour had gone by. Surprisingly, Kayla skipped over to my bed, as if our argument earlier hadn’t happened, and sat down on a chair, watching me with a large smile. Deryk stood at the foot of my bed, jaw tensed and hard eyes set on me. I wondered what had happened, but I quickly dismissed my curiosity and made a note to ask Kayla later.

“Hello, Karissa,” Deryk said, gently and I smiled, briefly. His hand lifted slightly, and I finally realized he was holding a paper bag. He walked to my side and sat down on another chair across from Kayla and placed the bag on the edge of my bed. He unfolded the bag and opened it, reaching inside. When Deryk’s hand lifted from inside the bag, there was a chicken sandwich sitting, patiently in a plastic container.

“I thought you might like a chicken sandwich,” Deryk mumbled, and opened the container, placing it in my lap. Then, he reached back into the bag and pulled out a cup contained of apple juice and placed it on a table beside me.

I couldn’t help flushing, and I averted eye-contact with him. “Thank you,” I mumbled and dug in, hungrily into the chicken sandwich that tasted like Heaven. My mouth watered, as I chewed my food and swallowed it, taking another greedy bite.

“Holy shit, Karissa, slow down there, tiger,” Kayla’s comment made me fully aware of their eyes on me and again, I flushed.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten since last night. Even when I ate the soup and the veggies, I felt like I was even hungrier. Everyone knows hospital food is crap,” I stated.

“I’m with you there, sister. I don’t think you’re allowed to eat anything besides hospital food. Don’t worry; we’ll sneak you outside food every once and a while,” Kayla said, winking at me.

“But knowing you, Kayla, you’ll wind up getting caught. Like you always do,” I commented, and then, took the last bite to my sandwich. I closed the plastic container and reached for the apple juice, hugging the straw with my lips.

Kayla’s eyes narrowed, slightly, but she dismissed the comment and rolled her eyes. “Which would you like tomorrow? Wendy’s? McDonalds? A&W?” Kayla asked, cheerfully and this time, I rolled my eyes.

“You are going to get caught,” I stated, and Kayla groaned, throwing her arms up in the air.

“I am not going to get caught. Why do you think people invented large purses? A wallet, cell phone and make-up bag won’t fill up all that extra space. So, that’s why they have extra compartments and such, to fit things like food and clothes inside. You’re a girl; you’re supposed to know this,” Kayla claimed and flipped her blonde lock over her shoulder.

“I hardly use purses, Kayla,” I mumbled and again, Kayla groaned.

“Anyways, I want – no, Deryk and I want to talk to you about something,” Kayla said, and her voice hinted it was serious and all games were left behind.

I watched Kayla avert her eyes onto Deryk and he shifted, uncomfortably in his chair. He cleared his throat, loudly and I turned my gaze onto him, wondering what could possibly be going on between these two. I, then, turned my attention back on Kayla and watched her sit on a spot on my bed, laying her hand, gently on my uninjured knee. I folded my hands in my lap and stared at her with curious eyes. She shifted, slightly, and just as she was going to begin speaking, Caleb marched into the room and wrapped his arms around Kayla, pulling her against his body. He pecked her cheek, from behind her and he waved at me, giving me a cute smile.

Kayla sighed, heavily, turning her gaze onto Deryk. It was like they were telepathically communicating or something of the sort, because Deryk nodded and stood up from his spot on the chair beside my bed. He walked towards Caleb and Kayla, greeting Caleb with a handshake and a pat on the shoulder.

“Hey guys. How’s it going?” Caleb asked, keeping one of his arms along Kayla’s shoulder and the other tucked in his jean pocket.

“We’re okay. Karissa seems to be getting better,” Kayla stated, and glanced at Caleb. I could see the distress in her eyes and again, she sighed, running her fingers through her blonde hair. Caleb was oblivious and he kissed her temple, smiling from Deryk to me.

“That’s mighty good! When do you think you’ll be able to walk again?” Caleb asked, happily and I shrugged, hoping I knew the answer to that myself.

“I have no idea. Every nurse that comes to check on me says that I need to rest up, so my wounds can heal. But, it’s not like I feel any better. The morphine they give me helps wear the pain off,” I stated, and Caleb frowned, nodding his head in understanding.

“Don’t fret, Karissa. You’ll be walking again, soon. The nurses are right, though; you do need to rest up,” Caleb answered. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to close my eyes again. I didn’t want to return to that dead swamp, where I met Death personally.

“Caleb,” Caleb turned his attention to Kayla and he grinned, nuzzling her temple, lovingly. I would have thought Kayla would have giggled, like she always did when Caleb laid his finger on her, but much to my surprise, she leaned away from his face. He looked confused for a moment, before his expression was replaced with one of great hurt. Kayla said, “Can we talk outside for a moment? I need to tell you something.”

Oh no, she was breaking up with him, I thought, suddenly and my heart went out for Caleb. I watched Kayla glance over at Deryk and he smiled, again, nodding as though he had read her mind. And it hit me with a sudden, painful blow. My heart tore in two and I knew at once; Deryk and Kayla were together.

I couldn’t understand how Kayla could do such a thing to someone like Caleb, and well, me. She had known I considered Deryk someone I might possibly have a crush on and well, she had gone one a date with Caleb and it seemed they were hitting it up – they were perfect for each other. She had given me all the right clues, leading to the point that I had thought Caleb was the one she finally could be happy with.

As I watched Kayla and Deryk exchanged gazes, I realized the signs. This morning, after Kayla and I had gotten into the slight argument, she had run off. An hour later, she had come back, bouncing off the walls with Deryk at her side. Who knows what they could’ve done in that hour. Who knows what they could’ve arranged so Kayla could leave Caleb.

I could feel my heart breaking and I could feel the tears pooling around my eyes. I wanted to keep myself from crying, especially in front of them, but no matter how hard I tried, tears leaked down my cheeks. I could not stop thinking how I knew this would happen. I had said so from the start; Kayla would catch Deryk’s eyes and from there, it would be history. I glanced up and realized Kayla was pulling Caleb out the room, hands laced. Deryk watched them, until they disappeared into the hallway and his gaze moved onto mine.

His eyes widened and he rushed to my side, sliding his hand under mine and holding them in his large ones. He sat down at the edge of the bed and reached out towards my face, clutching my jaw gently and pulling my face in his direction. I avoided locking eye-contact with him and stared at the curtain to the right side of the room. Tears rushed down my face and I wondered what I would say to him, if he questioned me.

“Karissa, what is wrong? Do you want me to call a nurse?” Deryk asked, gently and I shook my head, trying to ignore the warm feeling of having his fingers touching my cheeks.

“No, I’m fine. I just – I just want to see my mother and Alexis. Could you go call her or something? Please,” I demanded, quietly and Deryk nodded, letting go of my jaw.

“Of course, anything for you, Karissa,” Deryk stated, and smiled, wiping away the tears running down my cheeks. I didn’t dare look at him and when I did look up from my bed, Deryk was walking out the door.

Once I heard he was far away from my room, I began to cry. I cried because Deryk and Kayla were becoming an “item”; for the fact that I was lying in a hospital bed, unable of making one movement; for the fact that I wasn’t able to hold my daughter or put her to sleep every night because I was stuck in a hospital; and I cried for the fact that I despised my life. I wanted things to be differently. I would never take back having my beautiful two-year old, Alexis, because she changed me for the better and I couldn’t see a day without her smiling face. She inspired me everyday to keep moving on, but I wanted certain things to change for the sake of my daughter.

Alexis needed her father.

If I was able to build a time machine and reverse certain things, I wouldn’t hesitate. I wanted things to change because I didn’t know how much more I could handle. People might not have a clue about how much a single word could hurt someone and tear their heart in two. Being verbally abused hurts more than being physically abused because people know what to say about someone to hurt them. They pick on a person’s appearance, language, race, orientation, etc. and they know they will conflict damage. That’s what I go through every day and it’s something I would stop with a heartbeat.

I cried and cried, until my chest ached and my throat became dry. Then, I lay on the hospital bed, watching the ceiling with my swollen, red eyes. I was extremely exhausted from crying, but I didn’t want to close my eyes. I forced to keep my eyelids from shutting down over my eyes and when I heard the familiar sound of my mother’s voice, I was wide awake.

I glanced over at the door, and saw her holding Alexis in her arms. Deryk, Kayla and Caleb followed behind her, and much to my surprise, Kayla and Caleb were holding hands, laughing again. My mind suddenly erupted with confusion and I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to ask her what was going on in this triangle of love, but when I glanced away from Kayla’s laughing face and onto my beautiful daughter’s, Alexis was all I could think of.

My mother rushed towards my side and she smiled, sitting down on a spot beside me with Alexis bouncing up and down on her lap. She giggled at me, tilting her head as she watched me. I grabbed her small hand and rubbed the back with my thumb, enjoying the smoothness of her young skin.

“I’m glad Deryk called. How are you feeling, baby?” my mom asked me, running her fingers down the side of my face.

“I’m alright. I really wanted to see you,” I stifled a sob, as I watched my mother’s beautiful face and my daughter sitting before me.

“Oh, baby, don’t cry. Alexis and I are here, now,” my mother answered. She wiped the tear running down my cheek and kissed my forehead.

“Mom, do you have any idea when I’ll be able to get out of here? I don’t want to be in this hospital anymore. I would rather I recovered at home, where I know you are and I can take care of Alexis.

“The doctor told me he wanted you to stay in for a week. They want to keep an eye on you, and make sure you are recovering properly before they let you come home. I would rather you stayed here, sweetheart. I want you fully-recovered, before you return to – to school, and start taking care of Alexis,” my mother replied, truthfully and she kissed my hand.

“A week,” I stated it, because staying five days in this hospital, away from my friends and family seemed like an awful eternity.

“The doctor also said if he saw you were recovering rapidly, he would send you home earlier. Let’s just hope, sweetheart,” my mom said, gently and I nodded, sighing, loudly.

“I just want to go home,” I whispered.