Remember this Face, Baby.

TWO YEARS LATER
First Point of View

The moment I began feeling unconsciousness leave my body, I scooted deeper into the comfort of the mattress. I pulled the covers over my head, allowing darkness to engulf me completely. As I continued to fight against consciousness and squeeze my eyes shut, my body became aware that I was awake. No matter how much I moved into the sheets and became even more engulfed by the darkness the sheets created, I failed to fall back asleep.

Defeated, I turned onto my back and kicked the sheets off my body, glancing over to my right to check the alarm clock. It was past noon and thankfully, no one had come up to wake me. By ten, I would have already been up, preparing Alexis for pre-school and myself for work. Our week-days always consisted of early, busy mornings and we were always enthusiastic to receive the weekend. I knew I shouldn’t have been complaining, but being able to sleep without any interruptions was like ascending to heaven.

Seeing as mostly everyone in the house thought I was sleeping, I remained lying in bed. I folded my arms behind my head and sighed, deeply, glancing over at the balcony. For a moment, I watched the clouds drift across the blue sky. The sun shone, brightly and the thought of soaking in it made my skin warm and flushed.

I pulled my arms from behind my head and sat up, kicking my legs over the side of the bed. I yawned, loudly and stretched my arms out in front of me. I heard a loud crack that left me feeling more than satisfied and I smiled, goofily. I stood up from the comfort of my bed and headed towards the balcony, pulling my hair into a messy bun on top of my head.

It was the soft, warm breeze that greeted me as I opened the balcony doors. The breeze’s touch was that of a mother’s soft and gentle hands running over your face, making sure that you were okay. I couldn’t help breathing in the warm and clean air, taking it deep into my lungs. I sighed, with a warm smile and stepped onto the balcony, placing my hands on the white railing.

As I watched the view ahead of me, I couldn’t help thinking of how incredibly spectacular it was. The entire view of Chicago lay before me and it never failed to leave me breathless. It had been two years, and the fact that I didn’t know every inch of this city like the back of my hand, made me think of the wonders the city still held for me.

A slam from inside the room brought me from my thoughts, suddenly. I stepped away from the white railing I had been holding and peeked my head inside, looking around my dark bedroom. It wasn’t until I heard someone utter, “momma,” that I glanced at my bed and saw my daughter’s beautiful face. I chuckled into the air and stepped inside my room, walking towards Alexis. She waited for me and leaped off her bottom, just as I approached the bed and jumped into my arms. I caught the four year-old in my arms, kissing her smooth forehead as I swung her around. She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer into my embrace. After I finished spinning my daughter, Alexis kissed my cheek and smiled.

“Want to go out on the balcony, baby girl?” I asked my daughter, watching her with curiosity. Alexis nodded, and easily, I adjusted her body to sit on my hip. I wrapped a secure arm around her back and continued to carry her towards the balcony. I kept a safe distance from the railing and we watched the city carry on with their daily routines.

I kissed Alexis’ temple and continued to stare out at the rolling city, rubbing my daughter’s back. Alexis laid her cheek on my shoulder, watching a small blue bird fly only feet above us and she giggled, pointing towards the sky. I watched the bird spread its wings wide and fall into the air, letting the wind’s hands carry it higher and higher.

“Momma, when you comin’ downstairs?” Alexis uttered, suddenly and she turned her body in my arms. I wrapped my arms behind her back and turned my attention to her. She cupped my face in her hands, tilting her head as she watched me.

“Right after I’m done washing my face and brushing my teeth. Want me to put in Dora the Explorer, while you wait for me or do you want to go play?” Alexis’ eyes lit up, once I mentioned her favourite TV show and she nodded, eagerly. After I pecked her nose, I turned on my heel and headed towards the bed, placing my daughter safely in between the pillows.

Once the show was playing on the TV screen across from my bed, I glanced over my shoulder checking on Alexis. She was on her stomach, elbows propped and head in between her hands. I shook my head, letting a smile spread across my lips as I closed the bathroom door behind me.

◊

Alexis let go of my hand and rushed a head of me, disappearing around a corner. I chuckled, hearing a familiar voice greet my daughter and Alexis’ loud voice carrying throughout the house, I was sure. I turned the corner and smiled at Alexis’ nana, Margaret standing before the kitchen stove to my right. Margaret smiled, kindly at me and said, “Good afternoon, love. Go sit down and take that yogurt I set out for Alexis with you. Alexis wanted to accompany you while you ate, dear.”

“Alright,” I said, simply.

In all honesty, I hadn’t wanted to hire a personal nanny for my daughter. The thought had never crossed my mind before and I couldn’t see a reason why Alexis needed one, if she had me. I had handled raising Alexis for almost two years, without any help from adults and it had been hard, but I was able to deal. Then, I remembered how much help my mother had given me after I had given birth to Alexis. But using my mother’s help was different; she was Alexis’ grandmother. I figured I could take care of my daughter better than any stranger could. I didn’t see the need to hire a nanny.

For a year while I settled into the house with Deryk, things had been simple and I had dedicated my full time to Alexis. Even when I attended school, things were still very easy and the extra help from a nanny hadn’t been needed. I graduated, and I began searching for work, hoping to get a secretary position in a large corporation. Thankfully, Deryk was able to hire me as his personal secretary in the business corporation his father had passed down to him. Things began to become complicated after I enrolled Alexis in pre-school and timing for work and her pre-school were different. I didn’t have any idea how I would pick Alexis up once pre-school ended for the day, if I was working with Deryk.

After much insisting and persisting on Deryk’s part, it helped me decide what was best for Alexis and me. I guess the only reason I hadn’t wanted to hire a nanny in the first place was because I didn’t want Alexis to lose sight of me as a mother. Once I realized Margaret would only be doing the little things, such as picking her up after pre-school, preparing meals for Alexis when she needed to eat, my mind began to ease and I put all my trust into Margaret’s hands. I was still able to spend all the quality time with Alexis and I could continue doing the same motherly things I did, before Margaret was hired.

As I thought back, without Margaret I would be completely lost. I grabbed the yogurt from the island covered with pots and took it to the table. Alexis was already seated and she waited eagerly for her Dora the Explorer yogurt. I took a seat beside her and carefully, opened the dairy product and set it in front of the cheerful four year-old. Without any hesitation, she grabbed a spoonful of yogurt and filled her mouth with it, turning towards me and smiling.

“You’re such a silly girl,” I mumbled and kissed her head, running my fingers threw her curls.

The kitchen became filled with a peaceful silence I gladly took in. I watched Margaret begin preparing my brunch and then, turned to watch Alexis for a moment. Everything had been perfect in that moment. Unfortunately, the good things in life hardly ever last and the silence was broken, suddenly. I heard a loud crash and on cue, I watched wide-eyed as a large, golden retriever rushed into the kitchen, followed by a board-shouldered bull dog. He panted, heavily, as he waddled into the kitchen and coming to an abrupt halt, he plopped his bottom on the marble-tiled floor. Deryk’s youngest brother, Benjamin sprinted into the kitchen, laughing, loudly.

“Come on, Hamburger! You can do it, Burger, let’s go!” Ben stood in front of the large English bull dog, patting his thighs to usher the dog forward. Hamburger, unfortunately, continued to heave and pant, watching the five year-old boy with an exasperated look.

“Good afternoon, Ben. What are you up to now?” I asked, gently, staring at the young boy’s back.

Benjamin glanced over his shoulder and smiled. He turned away from the bull dog and skipped towards the table, pulling himself a chair. He sat down and placed his hands on the table, glancing over at Alexis for a moment and then the yogurt. Alexis’ eyebrows furrowed and she pulled her yogurt closer towards her, sticking her tongue out at Ben.

“I’m not up to nuttin’. I was just playin’ wiff Burger and Zipper,” Ben stated. Again, he glanced over at Alexis and a mischievous grin spread across his lips, “Where ya get that yogurt, Lexi?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I asked Nana for it. She lemme have it,” Alexis claimed, smugly and continued to shove spoonfuls of yogurt into her mouth.

“I thought you already had one,” Ben stated, matter-of-factly and raised an eyebrow.

“I already got one, but I asked Nana for one and she gave me it. You were being bad anyways!” Alexis said, heatedly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

It was unbelievable how many times in a single day Alexis and Benjamin got into an argument. Their arguments were always about the smallest things, but they were able to make the simple situation into a mid-life crisis. It was for that fact that I didn’t understand how inseparable they were. Alexis didn’t leave the house without Benjamin following shortly behind and neither did Benjamin. They were together for most of the day, and the only time they were seen apart was if one had disagreed on playing the other’s game. If not, they would be the same area playing together.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, placing my hand on Alexis’ head. Benjamin mimicked my actions and rolled his own blue eyes, sighing, loudly. He propped his elbow on the table and placed his cheek on the palm of his hand, watching Alexis’ pout. He drummed his fingers against the table and again, he sighed.

“I wasn’t being bad. You’re a big, fat liar,” Benjamin claimed, simply. It happened all at once and before I could really understand what was happening, Alexis was crying. Ben jumped down from his chair rolling his eyes at his crying companion. He called for the golden retriever, who came bustling to sit at his small master’s side. Ben patted the dog’s silky head and without a single word, walked out of the kitchen.

I grabbed Alexis from her seat and placed her in my lap, pushing her face into the hollow of my neck. She wrapped her arms around my waist, as she sobbed and wailed, loudly. I rubbed her back, soothingly and sighed. Margaret stood at the stove, shaking her head as she continued to mix ingredients in the pan she had over the fire. I bounced Alexis in my lap and patted her back, hoping this process would cease her loud sobs.

After a moment, Alexis was able to calm down and her cries had deceased to small sniffles. She pushed on my chest, gently and I let go of her, wiping her wet cheeks with my fingertips. I set her back on her chair and let her eat the rest of her yogurt. Alexis pouted and leaned forward, sticking the silver spoon inside the goopy substance.

“Momma, do you think I’m a big, fat liar?” Alexis grumbled, turning her face in my direction. A frown occupied her pink lips and her eyes still glistened with tears.

“No, I don’t think that. Benjamin’s only angry because you got a second yogurt for being a good girl. Benjamin is always getting into all sorts of trouble. Don’t worry, baby girl, just eat your yogurt,” I mumbled, softly and kissed her forehead. Almost instantaneously, Alexis’ face lit up and she grinned, reaching up to touch my cheek with her hand.

“Can we go swimming, Momma?” Alexis asked, excitedly, moving onto her knees. She left her half-eaten yogurt on the table and placed her hands on my shoulders, moving closer to my body. She kissed my cheek, like she usually did and smiled when I did. How could I ever deny anything from the little one who held my heart in between her small hands?

“We can do whatever you want, baby. We’ll get into our swimming suits, right after I finish eating breakfast. You should ask Nana if she wants to join us,” I stated, aiming my index finger in Margaret’s direction. Alexis nodded, eagerly and pushed off of me, crawling down from her chair. She rushed to her Nana’s side and tugged on Margaret’s apron, letting her head fall onto her shoulders as she waited for her Nana.

“Yes, love,” Margaret demanded, glancing down at Alexis. She tapped Alexis’ nose and bent down, kissing the little girl’s forehead.

Alexis’ cheeks flushed and she giggled, wrapping her arms around Margaret’s mid. “Momma says you should go swimming with us!” Alexis exclaimed, her eyes round with eagerness and excitement.

Margaret chuckled and she nodded, placing her hand on the back of Alexis’ head. “I would love to, Alexis,” Margaret answered. Alexis exclaimed, happily, hugging Margaret tighter around the waist. Margaret kissed Alexis’ head once more, before Alexis let go of her Nana and rushed over to my side, gushing with excitement.

Alexis climbed back onto the chair she had been using and plopped onto her bottom. Soon after, Margaret headed towards the kitchen table, placing a plate of food and a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice in front of me. As soon as she had placed everything in front of me, I didn’t hesitate to begin eating. Margaret finished cleaning the rest of the kitchen and then, she took a seat across from me at the table. She placed her spectacles on the bridge of her nose and began reading the book she had brought to the table with her, keeping that gentle smile on her elderly face.

◊

Alexis rushed into the pool area, dragging the pink towel she had held in her hand behind her. She dumped the towel on the ground beside one of the many lounge chairs placed around the large pool, and rushed towards the shed to get her favourite pool toy. I watched her rushing back and forth, making sure she didn’t trip and fall into the pool. Once she ran back to me, my heart stopped beating, quickly and I was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Momma, momma, let’s go swimming!” Alexis said, urgently, taking a hold of my hand with both of hers. She tugged on my arm, trying to pull me towards the stairs leading into the pool, but I shook my head and pulled her towards one of the lounge chairs under the warm sun. I took a seat, draping her pink towel over the arm of the chair and placed Alexis on my lap.

“Not just yet, Alexis. We have all day to go swimming, sweetheart. Take a breather,” I said, gently pulling Alexis’ curls into a messy bun on top of her head. She sighed, loudly, but nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer into me, kissing her cheek.

“Momma, I want to see Daddy. Where is he?” Alexis demanded, placing the back of her head on my shoulder.

“He should be home soon,” I muttered. The fact that Alexis referred to Deryk as her ‘daddy’ still bothered me. She had been calling him ‘daddy’ for almost two years now and I still wasn’t able to get use to it. I wanted more than anything to be able to accept it, but the reason why it bothered me was that Deryk wasn’t Alexis’ real father. I didn’t know how I would explain this reason to Alexis when she questioned me.

I knew, though, the moment Alexis glanced up at Deryk and called him ‘daddy’, something inside Deryk changed. I still remember the moment it happened and how Deryk had reacted. For a second, he had watched her, almost examining her, like she was a tiny experiment. Then, he lifted Alexis into his arms and placed his large hand behind her small head, pushing her forehead against his lips. He had held her for two hours, letting the two year old infant fall asleep in his arms, before passing her to me. I had been so shocked with the entire moment, I had forgotten that was the second word Alexis had ever uttered, that hadn’t been ‘momma’.

Ever since that moment, Alexis saw Deryk as her father and I’m sure, Deryk saw Alexis as his own. He would never deny Alexis if a stranger would ask if she was his. He would simply smile and bring Alexis closer, kissing her forehead like he had the first time. It only made me happy to know Alexis was able to have a male role model, such as Deryk who was such amazing person in general, and was able to give her love David had deprived her from.

Alexis wriggled out of my grasp, pulling me from my sudden thoughts. Reluctantly, I pulled my arms from her torso and let her run towards her Nana. Margaret sent a soft smile in my direction and moved, slowly towards me, holding a tray of sandwiches in her hands. Margaret then handed Alexis a juice box and a sandwich, telling her to take a seat beside me.

“Hello, love. I brought some sandwiches for you and Alexis to eat. Is there anything else you need?” Margaret asked, gently and I shook my head, saying, “Oh no, Margaret, you’ve done enough for today. Come sit down and relax.”

“Thank you, dear. Before I forget to mention, the young sir just arrived. He said he would come out to the pool as soon as he put his things away,” Margaret announced and I glanced over at Alexis, who smiled into her sandwich. I poked her stomach, and smiled as she giggled.

“Daddy’s home, Momma!” Alexis exclaimed, placing her bitten sandwich on her lap. I nodded, reaching over to wipe a bit of mayo sitting at the side of Alexis’ lip off with the back of my hand.

Alexis waited, patiently to greet her father. Fifteen minutes after Margaret had announced Deryk’s arrival, he came out to the pool with his little brother, Ben. The two dogs followed behind them, making sure to disrupt the calm and peaceful air. Deryk smiled the moment he laid his eyes on Alexis’ face and his pace quickened.

No matter how long I had lived with Deryk, I was never able to get past how beautiful he was. As Deryk continued to age and mature, so did his beauty. Everyday, Deryk looked more and more like a man and there were days when I wondered if he was really a human. I glanced at him now, dressed in a baby blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into black slacks. He had grown his hair down past his ears, while the ends of his hair flipped out into a min-curl. The baby blue dress shirt he wore complemented his blue eyes, making them stand out more than usual. A small amount of stubble darkened his chiseled chin, adding a few years to his appearance. I didn’t try denying how insanely gorgeous he looked today and I couldn’t help, but flush thinking about him in such a way.

Before Alexis could fly out of her chair to greet Deryk, I grabbed the half-eaten sandwich lying forgotten on her lap and placed it on the tray sitting on the table beside me. Alexis rushed out of her chair and sprinted towards Deryk, leaping into his open arms. He lifted Alexis from under her armpits, pulling her off from the ground and against his body. Alexis wrapped her arms around her father’s neck, laying her head on his shoulder. He shifted her body onto his hip and carried her towards Margaret and I. Ben had already greeted us, taking a ham sandwich off the tray. He ripped two separate pieces off the sandwich and handed them to each of the dogs.

“I missed you, Daddy!” Alexis said, cheerfully. Deryk sat in the empty lounge chair between Margaret and me, placing Alexis on his lap. She crossed her legs and smiled, placing her hands on his chest. I watched the corners of Deryk’s full lips move upwards into a smile, while he moved a strand of hair from Alexis’ face with his fingers.

“I missed you, too, sweetheart. How did you spend your day?” Deryk asked Alexis, slipping his index finger in between her closed hand.

“Daddy, I have a bad day. Ben was mean to me today!” Alexis pouted and turned to glare at Ben. Unfortunately, Benjamin was oblivious to Alexis’ sinister stare and he continued to take bites from his ham sandwich, staring at something in the distance.

Deryk chuckled, tucking a loose curl behind Alexis’ ear. “Benjamin, what did you do to Alexis? What have I told you about pestering her?” Deryk demanded, glancing over at his brother. The boy turned his attention to Deryk, his eyes wide with surprise.

“I didn’t do anything!” Benjamin stated. I could see the fear in his wide, blue eyes and I smiled, reaching out to grab the young boy. He crawled into my arms and he sat down, comfortably in my lap, hiding his face in the hollow of my neck from his brother. “Tell him, Rissa! I didn’t do anything! Alexis is just being a liar again!”

“You did call Alexis a liar and because of that, she began crying. And remember you walked out of the kitchen?” I said, glancing down at Ben. I watched Ben peek from the hollow of my neck, at Deryk. He stared back with a calm expression, but somehow, Benjamin knew Deryk was being serious.

“Dewyk, I won’t do it again! I was kidding!” Benjamin exclaimed, reaching out to grab Deryk’s hand. Deryk shook his head, but a smile rolled across his face. He patted Ben’s cheek, and then ruffled his hair, making Ben giggle, loudly.

“Behave, Benjamin. Now, go see if your brothers are here. They said they would be here around noon,” Deryk said. Ben nodded, pushing off my body as he rushed back inside to look for his other brothers.

“How was work?” I asked, reaching towards Alexis. “I was worried you might’ve needed my help at the office.”

“Fortunately, there wasn’t much to do in the office today. There would have been nothing for you to do. I finished signing a few documents and I looked over the files of the company we want to merge with, but besides that, I didn’t do much,” Deryk stated. “I organized my desk as well. I hope that satisfies you. I couldn’t stand you nagging at me anymore.”

I chuckled, with a short nod. “Well, if you had listened to me about cleaning that dirty desk of yours before, I wouldn’t have to keep nagging at you, as you put it,” I said.

Deryk rolled his eyes and he shook his head. “I don’t always have time to clean my desk. You have to keep in mind I have conferences to attend, meetings I cannot miss and important people I must meet. My desk is the last of my priorities,” Deryk said, and it was my turn to roll my eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Big Shot,” I stated, sarcastically, waving my hands around in the air.

Deryk chuckled. “I promise,” he mumbled, placing Alexis on the ground. He stood up from the lounge chair he was sitting on and bent down, kissing Alexis’ forehead. She smiled up at her father, before she climbed onto my lounge chair and sat on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her close into my body. I kissed her temple and then, glanced up at Deryk, curiously. “I promise I’ll try to keep my desk clean just for you.”

“The promise is safely kept in my memory box. If you break it, you can be sure I’ll be on your ass nagging you until that desk of yours in tip top shape. Got it, Mr. Big Shot?” I demanded, teasingly and he laughed, nodding his head.

“I got it,” he said.

Hearing familiar voices, Deryk and I turned in the direction of the stairs leading to the pool area. Deryk’s three younger brothers descended from the stairs, laughing as Benjamin nearly fell into a row of bushes. The second oldest, Tyson, grabbed Ben before he nearly fell and pulled him up into his arms, while Jake, the middle of the brothers, ruffled his youngest brother’s hair. Deryk was the first to greet his brothers, running his arm across Tyson’s broad shoulders.

“Welcome home, boys. I’m happy you’re here,” Deryk said, sincerely, glancing at each of his brothers.

As the four brothers stood together, I could see the similarities in the way they looked. They each shared the same sky blue eyes, dark brown hair and fair skin. There were characteristics that were different in their faces though and each was unique. I could see in their sense of style that, even though they were brothers and they shared a few similarities, they were completely different from each other.

“Mom didn’t want us coming,” Tyson said, putting Ben down. “But we wanted to come. We haven’t spent time with you, bro. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“You’re definitely right. This is your home now. I’m glad I have my three brothers here with me.” Deryk smiled and patted Jake’s back, gently.

“You have a wicked house, Deryk. It’s ten times bigger than the old house,” Jake commented, glancing around the pool area and then, back at the house. “We’re definitely going to have a good time here!” Tyson and Jake glanced at each other, slapping hands in the air.

Deryk laughed, nodding in agreement. “Well, make yourselves at home, boys. I’m going to my office to put away some files and I should be back out in a few minutes! Go swimming with Alexis and Ben,” Deryk said, patting Tyson’s shoulder. They both nodded and quickly slipped out of their t-shirts.

“Hey Karissa, long time no see!” Jake said, cheerfully, walking towards Alexis and me.

“We’re happy you guys are here. It’s been real quiet without you three!” I stated, with a smile.

“We’re happy to be here, too! School’s finally out and we get to spend our entire summer in this sick house. That gives us time to mess around with you more. We’ve been pulling some wild pranks out of our sleeves for the past few months. Don’t think we’ve forgotten,” Tyson said, with a mischievous smile.

Rolling my eyes, I said, “You guys need to get over it. I pulled one prank after you two pranked me three times before. I think it’s only fair to get back at you.”

“Whatever. We’re still going to get you back,” Jake said, shaking his head. “Alexis, come here, cutie! Let’s go swimming!” Jake opened his arms, waiting, patiently for Alexis to move out of my arms. She rushed into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck, jumping, excitedly.

Tyson waited for his youngest brother, grabbing hold of his hand as they walked towards the pool. I watched Jake step into the pool first, keeping a safe arm around Alexis as he moved deeper into the cool water. I laughed, lightly once I heard Alexis scream as the cold water finally lapsed her body.

Deryk’s family had become my own, I realized and I wouldn’t take back getting on that plane with Deryk two years ago. I sighed, contently and leaned back in my lounge chair, placing sunglasses on the bridge of my nose. I closed my eyes behind the dark shades and without anymore thought, I fell asleep enjoying Deryk’s brothers and my daughter’s loud laughs.