Remember this Face, Baby.

I felt him move closer towards me, before I seen his shadow hover over me. I let my gaze travel up his lean and muscular body, before meeting his eyes I loved so very much. He looked down at me, sternly and with much disgust. I tried to ignore all the anger bubbling up inside of me, trying to refrain from throwing myself at him and hitting him until I possibly killed him. He just stood there, not saying a single word watching me with the utmost disgust.

What did he want?

"Why weren't you in school?" He asked, sternly.

"What? Are you my father or something? It shouldn't matter to you," I responded, bitterly.

"No, it doesn't. I just didn't hear any gossip or anything. It was quite quiet today," he stated, letting the cocky smirk move onto his lips.

I narrowed my eyes at the teenage boy I didn't recognize before my eyes and clenched my jaw. I switched my eyes to our daughter, sitting in the sand, hoping he hadn't seen her. Before I could say anything, he followed my gaze and stared, shocked at the little baby playing in the sand. I got up in seconds and quickly pulled Alexis in my arms, hiding her small face in the crook of my neck, not wanting him to witness such a beauty of a child.

"Is that your daughter?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, looking up at him with anger, "and what?"

"Is she the kid you made with one of those other fuckers?" He snapped.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that infront of my daughter," I spat, holding my daughter close to my chest.

"Well, she should know what kind of a . . . person you are. A fucking disgusting whore," he claimed, shaking his head.

"Look, DJ, if you came to make my life a living hell . . . well, even more than it is, you can assure yourself you've done a great job. Now, leave me and my daughter alone, just like you have for the past two years," I said, in a low, menacing voice.

"I didn't come to make anyone's life a living hell. You brought that onto yourself by sleeping aroun - "

"I didn't do absolutely anything! Stop making up lies and take responsibility for your damn daughter! This baby, yes, she's yours if you want to believe it or not! She has your blood and she looks exactly like you, something I wish I could change forever! I'm holding your replica, David, this is your daughter. You want to know her name, huh, you bastard? Her name is Alexis Elizabeth Montanni! She's almost two years of age and she has no father! Do you want to know why? Well, because her father's a piece of shit and a huge fucking liar! He thinks he's all macho and shit, when in reality he's so fucking insecure of himself and can't take responsibility of his own fucking daughter!" I screamed, angrily, letting angry tears wash my face. I didn't care about what he said afterwards, because I placed my daughter gently in her stroller and buckled her in.

Just as I was about to turn the stroller around and head home, DJ grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him. His face was expressionless, blank. It held absolutely no emotion and I wondered at that very moment what he was thinking. I, also, wanted to get away from him and never see his face again. I wished I could turn away from him, now and know I told him the truth, without wishing he would actually take responsibility for his baby girl. I did want him to be there, but then again, he had betrayed all my trust and had ruined my life forever.

"How can I possibly know this baby you're talking about is even mine? You have no proof, nothing that could say she's mine. You probably just want money, like you always have wanted," he snarled, glaring daggers at me.

"David, fuck off. I don't give a shit that you care or not that she's yours. You're right, I don't have anything saying she's yours, but I know she is because you were the only fucking guy I slept around with. You were the one who took my virginity. You were my first, David. I hadn't been with anyone besides you! Now, let go of me. I hope you have a good fucking life knowing you left a baby without the care of her father. I'm just happy my baby girl doesn't know anything about you," I pulled his hand off and whipped it back at him, hoping he felt all the pain and hurt I had for the past two years.

I wiped the tears still running down my cheeks, with the back of my hand and turned my back on him. I pushed the stroller across the grass and onto the sidewalk, leaving him standing there looking stupid. What an idiot! Why couldn't he understand that he was just a lie and that he was making my life a living hell? Didn't this hurt him? Didn't he give a damn about the baby sitting in her stroller, who was fatherless?

I resisted from rolling my eyes, because the answer was obvious. He didn't care about anything, but himself. Unless if he had everything he wanted, he was fine. Nothing, besides him, mattered and it would stay like that forever. There might have been a slight possibility that I had been something in his life, that he actually cared about. There might not have been love, because he wouldn't have betrayed me so horribly, but I'm sure he did care for me. It was a care any child had for her or his favourite toy. A little girl would always carry a doll, teddy bear, etc. while a little boy would carry a toy truck, stuffed snake or something else. I was, basically, a toy he had really cared about. Then, he found himself another favourite toy and kicked me under the bed.

I knew exactly how used toys felt like, now.

I stopped just as I was about to turn the corner and ran my hand down my face, just imagining how I looked at this very moment. I needed to relax, knowing if I went home looking like a mess, I would have proven my mother's point. I wiped my eyes with a tissue I had in my purse and cleaned all the eyeliner, or missed tears from my cheeks and eyes. I took a deep breathe and began walking, heading towards my house where already I could see a familiar blue car parked in front of my house, with Kayla seated on the hood, bobbing her head to some music.

I thought of scaring her, but I was in no mood to do anything right at that moment. Instead, I pushed the stroller towards her car and tapped her, lightly on the shoulder. Still, Kayla jumped and shrieked, loudly dropping her iPod on the hood of her car. I rolled my eyes at my dramatic friend and shook my head, watching her calm herself down and climb down from her car, shutting off her iPod. She checked her cellphone and nodded, pointing a manicured finger at me, narrowing her eyes at me.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"You took approximately . . . hm, thirty minutes. I've been waiting here for fifteen," she replied, staring me down.

"What a wait," I said, sarcastically. "Fifteen minutes!" I covered my mouth, dramatically and stared at her shocked.

"Stop mocking me. I didn't have a good day today. You weren't there, I broke a fricken nail. I didn't have my veggie dog and the cafe didn't have no chocolate milk. It was horrible," She wailed, shaking her head and pulling me into a tight hug.

"You've had a bad day. I saw DJ," I whispered against her shoulder. She gripped my shoulders and pulled me arms-length, staring at me shocked herself.

"No fucking way," She said, quickly.

"Yeah. He was at the park and he saw Alexis. He still doesn't believe that she's his. That rumour that he started actually got to his head," I mumbled.

"I thought I heard you guys! How was your walk?" I looked over my shoulder, just as Kayla did and smiled up at my mom. She walked down the stairs and bent down once she reached Alexis' stroller and unbuckled her, pulling the baby into her arms.

"It was good. I stopped by the convenience store and talked to Mrs. Leons," I replied, lightly.

"Oh, how is she? I haven't spoken to her in ages, it seems," she chuckled, shaking her head.

"She's doing good. She's in love with Alexis. The moment she laid her eyes on her," I laughed, half-heartedly.

"Our little girl is loved by everyone," my mom claimed, shaking her head down at Alexis.

Something struck at me, once my mother's comment finally surfaced. Our little girl wasn't loved by everyone, though. She didn't have her father, who was another person who truly mattered in her life, to love her and care for her. It angered me to know that my daughter wouldn't have a father. I didn't want to sound desperate or needy, but this wasn't about me. It was about my two year old daughter; why couldn't she have a father? Why did it have to be my daughter to be the one who was fatherless? I knew there were plenty of other babies left without a father, a mother or both, but . . this was my daughter. She didn't deserve to be fatherless. She had no fault coming into the world.

Kayla and I followed my mom inside the house, hoping she didn't hear anything we had been talking about. By the non-stop chatter coming from my mom's part, she hadn't heard a single thing. I watched her place Lexi on the kitchen counter, as she grabbed a milk bottle and poured some milk inside, setting it in the water already boiling over the stove. She picked Alexis up and made her way into the living room, where Kayla and I were sitting, trying to talk about other things.

"How's school, Kayla?" my mom asked, putting Alexis in her play pen and sitting down on the armchair.

"Boring as usual. Nothing fun ever happens at school," Kayla replied, rolling her eyes at the thought.

"I'm sure it doesn't. Why don't you get involved with things, like clubs or sports teams? Get a job?" My mom suggested, with a small shrug.

"I have a job," Kayla stated.

"You do?" I asked, with a surprised expression.

"Psh, no. I don't need one," she snorted, flicking her wrist. "With daddy's daily sendings and mom's daily givings, I'm quite good. A job at this time in my life would . . . distract me," she declared, seriously.

"Kayla, you have nothing to be distracted from. You're just a lazy ass," I said, bluntly.

"I'm not going to explain myself," Kayla stated, tossing her hair over her shoulder and staring at the TV's screen.

"Kayla, let's go upstairs. Can you take care of Alexis, mom?" I asked.

"Sure," I smiled at my mom and led Kayla up to my room. Once we were inside, I closed the door and carefully, flopped on the bed. Kayla already had a pillow hugged in her arms, with her head laying on it. I leaned back against my headboard and stared at my fingers for a minute, contemplating on what to say.

"What happened?" Kayla asked.

"Well," I paused, rubbing my forehead, "I was at the park with Alexis and I was just watching Alexis play when he came. He asked me why I wasn't in school and I got real mad and told him off. He finally realized the baby and started saying stuff like, is that the kid you had with one of the guys you slept around with? I just got so mad, I started yelling at him and cussing him out. I told him Alexis was his and that I didn't care if he believed it or not, she was his and he needed to take responsibility for her. Then, I just left," I mumbled.

"I heard him ask about you in the hallway today, when I was heading to class. I wanted to turn around and listen in, but before I could I saw him exchanging saliva with the head cheerleader," Kayla shuddered in disgust, as the memory came across again.

"If he doesn't care about me, why is he asking what I do and where I've been? Every time he asks about me, I feel even more confused than I already am," I grumbled.

"He's obviously crazy. Look at all the stuff he's made up, to make himself look like the victim. I mean, there's obviously something really wrong with him," Kayla replied, shaking her head.

"I just want him out of my life forever. Alexis doesn't need him as a father and I don't want him in her life, either. I'll admit, I still feel something towards him, but after all he's put me through, I don't even want to see him. He disgusts me and I would have never thought he would have done that to anyone," Kayla nodded and sighed, heavily.

"But babe, you'll get over him. Someone better and finer is going to come along, who'll treat you and Lexi right. You'll forget about him," Kayla said, with a soft smile.

"Hopefully. I just want to give Alexis everything and having a father is definitely on the list," I mumbled.

"She will, though. But, anyways, going onto something better. I met this really hot guy at the mall a couple of days ago and I totally forgot to tell you," she stated, looking completely hyper.

"I met someone, too, today," I said, feeling slightly flushed at the thought of the beautiful mystery named Deryk.

"Oh my God, tell me all about it!" Kayla shrieked, clapping her hands. I laughed, half-heartedly and shook my at head, wondering how Kayla was still one of my friends. We were complete opposites, as she came from a wealthy family and I came from a humble home. Kayla came off as the snob of the school, whose father owned some big company that made products people used daily and whose mom had married over twenty times to different men. In reality, Kayla's life was basically like that. Her father owned a line of companies that manufactured furniture and home necessities. Her mother was a rich lawyer who had won plenty of cases and was obviously paid good money. During Kayla's life, she had over eight different fathers, she hardly remembers. She's still in doubt that the man her mother claimed to be her biological father, actually is.

"Uhm, when I went to the store around the corner, he came in. Kayla, he's so . . intriguing. He's incredibly good-looking and his name is Deryk," I told her, watching her eyes light up and her mouth drop open.

"I sense a new boy in your life! Did you get a number? The dirty details?" She asked, quickly.

"No, unfortunately I didn't. He said he just moved here, after I said that I hadn't seen him around. Then, we started talking and he told me his name," I explained, pulling my hair out from my ponytail and running my hands threw my hair.

"And that's it? No number or address? You didn't find out if he works somewhere around here? Does he have a girlfriend? Oh my God, woman! Did you get anything?" Kayla asked, exasperatedly.

"Kayla, I'm not like you. I'm not pretty enough. He was just being nice and everything. Even if I did give him digits, he probably has a girlfriend prettier than me and wouldn't dare call me," I mumbled,

Kayla growled, or what sounded like a growl and glared at me. "Did you call yourself ugly, bitch? Because the person I'm staring at right now, is definitely not ugly! She's a sexy babe with a sexy baby! But even if he did have a girlfriend, doesn't mean you couldn't have a little fun," she said.

"Really? Why would I come between a guy and his girlfriend? I've been through that with DJ," I stated, firmly.

"Alright, maybe cheating is the right thing to do, but," she paused, "he may not have a girlfriend and you may see him, again," she added.

"One in a million chance," I said, lightly. She rolled her eyes and sighed, heavily.

"You really put stress on me, my dearest. Look, all I'm saying is have a fricken fling! You haven't been with a guy since retard and come on," she paused, before she added, bluntly, "I know you have to be horny."

My jaw dropped, instantly the minute the words slipped out her mouth. What? Horny? Sure, I hadn't been with a guy since DJ, but that did not mean I was desperate to get laid all over, again. Of course I missed being held by a guy, to be kissed by one, too, but, horny? I wasn't in that much of the need to have sex or to be in a 'fling', yet. I had bigger things to worry about than to worry over getting laid or not. Really, I hadn't thought of sex in a while because my mind had been so occupied, lately and I never really have time to think to myself.

"I'm in no need to get laid, Kay," I said, simply.

"Aren't you sex-constipated?" she asked, with a shocked expression.

"Sex what? Did you just make that up?" I demanded, arching my eyebrow.

"I've heard it being mentioned before. Don't change the subject, either! I have a great idea!" She squealed, suddenly, throwing her arms up in the air.

"I don't want to hear it," I mumbled.

"Too bad! We should go the mall!" she said, happily.

"Kayla, no. Everyone from school is usually there. You know the mall is popular for teenagers. I'm not being humiliated, again and I bet he's going to be there," I said, quickly, shaking my head.

"Ew, that mall is a disgrace. I know every store and every area of that disgusting mall. I know all the prices for all the clothes in each store of that mall. Trust me, I'm done. Only losers go to that mall," she said, as though it was obvious.

"Then, what mall were you talking about?" I asked.

"The big mall in the next town. It has like four or so levels we can go, too! Two food courts with different things in each. They have a Mexican one, too and you know, how big of a freak I am for Mexican food! We should totally go! And, oh my God, the stores are grand! C'mon, bambina, let's do it!" She exclaimed, excitedly.

"If you stop screaming and causing such a hazard, I'll go," I replied, holding my head which seemed to feel like it was about explode.

"Always works," she chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Then I'm not going," I stated.

"Psh, you already said you were, so no turning backs, now. You don't wake up tomorrow when I come to get you, we have all day. I'll push you into the shower and bath you myself. It's not going to be pleasant, but if I have to get your ass ready and dressed to go to the mall of my dreams, I'll turn to drastic measures."

"Oh God no! I don't want you touching my goodies!" I claimed, hugging myself and looking at Kayla with complete horror. She laughed, manically and nodded, staring at me with a creepy expression.

Why did it have to be me, to know this side of Kayla? Only I knew how she acted when she wasn't trying to act like the rich teenage girl she was. When she was with me, truthfully, I can say she acted like herself. She was absolutely disgusting around me. She did things rich girls would die of and never in their snotty lives dream of doing. I knew how she truly felt about her life; she absolutely hated it. She enjoyed the money part, of course, but being without a mother or father for most of her years, wasn't something she wished she had. But, as she was a complete opposite from me, as I was her, we fit together, perfectly, no matter what went on in our lives that could possibly separate us.

"Good. Be ready by twelve, mon cherié! Au revoir!" She said, getting up from my bed and grabbing her purse. She skipped out of my bedroom, until she made it out of the house. She called out to my mom and once my mom answered, she was gone.

I ran my hands down my face and groaned, loudly, falling forwards onto my bed and groaning, again. Kayla and my mother were the only two people who could ever make me do something I really didn't want to do. My mom didn't really make me as much as she did before, but when she had too, she did. Kayla, on the other hand, took it to her advantage and forced me into doing a lot of things with her. Fortunately for her and myself, I usually enjoyed going with her and it relieved me from stress.

"Karissa!" I wanted to lay on my bed for hours, but of course, life isn't fair.

"What?" I grumbled.

"Come down here," my mom called, gently.

Slowly, reluctantly, I stood up from my bed, slouching my shoulders and dragging myself out of my room. I tied my hair up into a messy bun, as I stepped down each stair, slowly and leaned against the railing, moving my bangs away from my eyes. My mom walked towards me and smiled, holding onto one of Alexis' many toys.

"Alexis wants to see you," she said, gently, handing me her toy.

"Okay," I mumbled, lightly and walked into the living room, seeing my little girl, leaned against her play pen side and holding onto it. She smiled when she spotted me and held out her arms for me, which made her fall down on her bum. I chuckled, bending down and grabbing her, placing her on my hip. Her arms wrapped around my body as much as they could extend. I pulled her close and kissed her forehead, moving towards the couch and sitting down, moving her onto my lap. I placed my hands on her back, as she rested her small feet on my stomach and held onto her toy, before putting it in her mouth and slightly sucking on it.

As I stared down at my daughter, I wondered about how she'd look like when she was five; ten; fifteen. I wondered about her new behaviours, her new friends, her crushes, her heartbreaks. I understood that I should have been thinking about the present, but it was so tempting to let my mind wander and think about how things would work out. In just a few years, she'd be in preschool, meeting new kids her age and learning new things without me. As much as that thought saddened me that I wouldn't always be there for her, I knew it was for the best. She needed to move on her own, without her mother. She'd need me for a few more years, before she'd finally realize mommy was only good for certain things.

She'd get older and things I did, would embarrass her. I wouldn't approve of her friends and we'd end up in an argument, until she decided to finally talk to me. She'd want to go shopping without her mother and find new trends, wear new things. She'd do her own hair and her own makeup, without her mother telling her what looked right on her and what didn't. We'd fight about small details and end up not talking for days. Our nights would be silent, awkward during dinners and she'd excuse herself before she even finished eating.

Oh God, I was turning into such a mom!

"Karissa-Ann Montanni," I looked over my shoulder, slightly dazed and stared at my mom, standing with her hand on her hip, watching me impatiently.

"Sorry, mom, what's wrong?" I asked, gently.

"Karissa, is something on your mind? I've been calling you for the past five minutes and you just stared at Lexi, smiling, then looking appalled," she stated, walking towards me, as she dried her hands on her apron.

"I was just . . . thinking," I mumbled. I bent over Alexis, slightly, kissing her forehead. She giggled once I pulled away and reached out to touch my face, running her fingertips down my cheek and along my lips.

"About . . you know who?" my mom asked. I could hear the annoyance in her voice, though she tried to hide it by sounding calm and collected.

"No, no. I was thinking about Alexis. You know, the future. I was just wondering about how she's going to be as she gets older. And, well, if I'm going to be a good enough mom for her. If I'm not going to embarrass her or anything, you know. Those kinds of things," I replied, cradling the almost two year old in my arms.

"Karissa, honey, she's going to grow up fine. I can tell you, from the day you had her and you held her in your arms, I knew you'd be good enough for her. You're a great mother, Ann and you shouldn't worry about that ever, ever," she chuckled, running her hand along my cheek. "And of course you're going to be embarrassing. All moms are," she added, humorously.

"I don't know. I'm just so scared she'll turn out bad," I mumbled, trying to hide the slight hysteria I was feeling.

My mom chuckled and sat down beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and pulling me into her. Alexis looked at her grandmother and smiled. "Sweetie, she won't turn out bad. She's not some kind of food or fruit that'll go bad or whatever. She's being raised in an environment full of love, happiness and much care. You have nothing to worry about her turning out bad. Everything will be fine, honey," she said, kissing my cheek and standing up.

"Okay, but I won't stop worrying about it," I declared.

"Oh, no mother does. My baby is now turning into a mom," my mom laughed, shaking her head. "I'm going to start supper," she added. I rolled my eyes at her, but nodded, returning to look at Alexis.

At times I wished I could still be the baby and be cradled in my mom's arms, as I cradled my daughter now. I had always wondered what it'd be like to have my own child and now, I know. Sometimes I think to myself and wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't had Alexis and aborted. I probably would have still been with DJ, oblivious to the fact that he was being unfaithful. Everyone wouldn't have hated me and I wouldn't have to worry. But then, I started thinking again. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, as much as my life might seem like it's a dark hole, in reality my daughter has made me stronger and seen things in a different way. I don't regret having her and don't regret going through all the hard, painful things in my life