Remember this Face, Baby.

"Mom, I'm home!" I called into the house, as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

Slightly scaring me out of my skin, my mom came stomping from the living room and stopped, abruptly, glaring at me. Her arms were crossed over her breasts and her foot touched the floor, repeatedly. I wondered if she had received the phone call explaining my absence for my two classes. By her angry expression and tensed stance, she had received it and I was about to experience her wrath.

"Karissa-Ann, explain something very clearly to me," she paused and her eyes narrowed into tighter slits, "Why weren't you in class for period one and two? Is there something more important than attending class? Or, are you going to give an excuse why you weren't sitting in your classroom like you were supposed to?" my mom's voice was struggling to stay calm and I could tell by the twitch over her upper lip.

"Well, I don't have an excuse. I just skipped," I stated, simply and dumped my bag against the wall, before walking past my mom and going into the kitchen.

"You just skipped? What the hell is that supposed to mean, Karissa? Don't you want an education? Don't you want to get out of school and give your daughter a better life?" she followed close behind me, snapping her answer with fierceness.

"Mom, I smoked weed, okay? Jesus, it's nothing bad," I declared, loudly and rolled my eyes, as her eyes nearly bulged out of her eye sockets. I ignored her expression and turned to the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk and pouring it into the glass I had grabbed.

"You did what? You skipped class to smoke drugs?" this time, she didn't hesitate to scream. She paced back and forth across the kitchen, keeping her fists tightened, crossed over her chest as before.

"It's nothing bad, okay? I needed it and this is the first time I've done it. People tell me it's relaxing and I just needed it. So, I skipped first and lost track of time," I said, as though it was the most normal thing in the world and sighed, loudly, taking a large drink from my milk and swallowing it, noisily.

"Karissa, that is illegal to do! What if they had caught you doing that, they could have arrested you and put you behind bars! Don't act like that's a normal thing to do, because trust me, it very much isn't. I cannot even believe you did such a thing, Karissa! What has even gotten into you? What else have you been doing? Cocaine?" my mom exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exasperation. Her piercing gaze fell on me again and I felt myself shrink against the kitchen counter, I was perched at.

I was certain saying sorry wouldn't help much, but that was the only thing I could think of at the moment. She expected me to say something along the lines, " . . . yeah, I fucked up and I won't do it, again. I'm sorry," but she never got it. All she received in return was, "I'm sorry," and a view of my back as I walked out of the kitchen and upstairs into my room.

Alexis slept in the center of my bed, while pillows hugged her small form and kept her from plummeting to the floor, if she either rolled or turned over. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but she seemed so at peace, I didn't want to disturb her. Instead, I moved towards the computer desk sitting against the wall at the far end of the room and pulled the chair out. Looking out the window beside it, I stared at a couple of fourteen year olds skateboarding down the street, laughing about only they knew what. I grinned, as one of them tumbled to the ground and whined after his friend, leaving him laying there like a rag doll.

Turning back to the computer, I switched the screen on and it slowly lit before me. I reached over and took the mouse in my hand, moving it over the mouse pad and double-clicking on MSN Messenger. I looked over my shoulder, the moment I heard shuffling and stared at my daughter turning onto her back, still deep asleep. With a soft smile on my face, I turned back to face the screen and typed in my password, pressing enter as soon as I finished. As soon as I was signed in, a name I dreaded to see, popped up.

Pulling the conversation up, I read what Kayla had sent me and rolled my eyes. I clicked the red 'x' and signed out of msn, having a gut feeling Kayla would be calling in a matter of minutes, if not seconds. Until she called, I didn't have to worry about a single thing, besides my daughter, finally waking from her slumber. Her eyelashes fluttered against her flushed cheeks and as always did, she tangled her fingers in her hair and tilted her head, staring up at the ceiling with wonder.

As soon as she realized she wasn't accompanied on the bed or the room, her lip started shaking and I knew, there would be waterworks in a matter of seconds if I didn't show myself. As if the chair I was sitting a top had started burning underneath me, I jumped up from my seat and walked over to Alexis, pulling her up into my arms. I cherished the smile my daughter held on her face as she caught site of me lifting her into me and her arms locked around my neck.

At the moment, I couldn't deny how happy I felt to hold my daughter.

The wonderful moment was destroyed by the annoying ringing sound of the phone laying comfortably on my nightstand. I set Alexis down on the bed and walked over to the phone, plopping myself against a few pillows and looking over at my daughter, as I placed the device against my ear and answered with a monotone, "Hello."

"Did you get my message on MSN?" Kayla asked, firmly and I could hear quick-typing on the other end.

"Yes and don't worry, you won't have to rehearse it, again," I claimed, looking over my shoulder as I heard Alexis giggle. I smiled down at her and on instinct, I felt my hand fix her shirt.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did something crawl up your ass today and still hasn't come down yet?" she snapped, bitterly and stopped typing at the rapid speed. I could hear quick breathing and her long finger nails tapping on the hard surface of her desk.

"Nothing's wrong, so please, stop assuming. It just seems everything I do is wrong. I feel like you and my mom always gang up on me and plus, it seems like you guys expect so fucking much from me," I replied, suddenly and sighed, immediately once the words escaped my lips.

"Karissa, we're just worried about you. All this shit that you've gone threw, is obviously going to make us worry twenty four seven about you. It's not our fault," Kayla answered, gently and I could see her running her fingers threw her hair, as her elbow rested on the desk, holding her head up.

"But is it my fault all this happened? I never thought he would do this to me. He always told me he'd be there for me whenever I needed him and when I needed him the most, he ruined me. This isn't my fault," Alexis crawled over to me and rested her hands on my thigh, tilting her head as she watched me. I leaned down and pressed my lips against her forehead, wrapping an arm around her small body and pulling her onto my lap.

"You made a mistake, too, Karissa. You were unprotected and Alexis came out of that," Kayla stated.

"Alright, yes, part of all this is my fault, too, but I don't regret having Alexis. I love my daughter and all this going on, is worth it because I have her. Don't ever think she was a mistake. DJ may not love her, but I do," I replied, defensively and hugged my daughter closer to me.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Alexis isn't a mistake and I know that, but if you don't figure out what you're going to do soon, you're gonna lose yourself in the process."

"Look, Kayla. I'm sorry about what I said to my mom and not trying to be rude, I shouldn't even be saying sorry to you. But, you need to live here with me to understand what I go through. My mom's always on my ass and it's just frustrating. I can't go out like a normal teenager, without her asking where exactly I'm going; what time I'll be back; will I call her in half an hour. Yes, I know how she feels because I'm a mom, now, but I'm not asking Alexis where she's going to be twenty four seven. She needs her space and so do I."

"And I'm sorry, too. I just, I don't know. You know I love you, right?" Kayla asked, and her voice sounded tired.

"Yes, I do know that. I love you, too," I said, gently and felt my lips tug into a smile.

"I'm going to go, now. Just think about it; what is even worse than losing yourself?" The question stitched itself across my eyes and in my mind.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow morning?" she chuckled and I imagined herself nodding her head.

"Tomorrow morning," she replied and that was our cue to hang up.

Shutting off the phone, I placed it back on the nightstand and pulled Alexis against my body, keeping an arm underneath her buttocks and placing a firm hand on her back. I kissed her forehead and let her lay her head on my shoulder, before walked downstairs. My mother, thankfully, was in the kitchen reading her daily newspaper and taking small sips from her coffee. A radio was playing, softly on the table and she bobbed her head, every so often.

Not wanting to disrupt her, I walked into the living room and laid down, placing Alexis on top of me, with her head laying on my breasts. The television was playing in front of us and as I looked down, I noticed Alexis watching it with interest and fascination. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, wondering how something so beautiful like her, could be considered a mistake.

The only mistake I made was falling for DJ.

◊

Kayla arrived early, as usual and when I received her warm smile, she was in the kitchen sitting with my mom and surprisingly, little Alexis was sitting on top of the table holding onto Kayla's hands. I watched my daughter giggle down at the person she knew as her aunt and give her the million dollar smile. I chuckled as I walked into the kitchen and Alexis' face lit even more at the sight of me.

"Morning, Lexi," I chanted, walking towards her and kissing her chubby cheek.

"Morning, Karissa," my mom mumbled, and once I saw her face, I felt my insides tighten in a horrible way.

"Mom, I want to apologize for yesterday. I know, I messed up and I won't ever do it, again. It was just in the moment," I said, honestly and bent down on my knees, holding her hand close to my heart. She sighed and shook head, chuckling gently.

"Sweetheart, I understand I'm like this fly that won't go away, but this fly has a little fly she has to look after. I know, it sounds corny, but just as Alexis is your baby, you're mine. I don't care how old you are and how old I get, you'll always be my one and only daughter. I don't want you falling into the wrong things. I want you to lead a good life, without that garbage," she stated, motherly and kissed my forehead, as I did to Alexis so many times.

When I glanced up to see my mother's face, I could see the concern and the motherly love that lay behind her eyes. I wondered if that's how I looked whenever I stared at my daughter and knowing me, I never doubted it. Smiling, I leaned up and wrapped my arms around my mom's neck, kissing her cheek and her forehead. She grinned and pulled away, shaking her head at my childish behaviour.

"I know, I know. I just get frustrated sometimes," I replied, hoping she would realize as much as I had that moment. She nodded, understandingly and sighed, loudly.

"I'll cut down on it, but get some food before you go to school," she demanded.

Attending to my mother's commands, I set to work on creating my breakfast and sat down across from Kayla. Alexis looked over her small shoulder and smiled, before crawling towards my area and reaching out for me. I smiled at her and grabbed her, setting the baby gently on my lap. She leaned her back against my stomach and laid her chest inbetween my breasts, holding onto my jeans.

"What went down yesterday? I didn't see you after school, Karissa," Kayla stated, curiously, glancing at my mother, sitting at her side sipping at her coffee slowly and cautiously. Then, her blue eyes moved onto me and she gave me a questioning look, but I didn't reply and continued eating my cereal. Alexis bounced in my lap and reached out, trying to grab the bowl filled with cereal, eagerly. Again, I looked up from my daughter's face and caught Kayla watching me with narrowed eyes.

"I'll tell you in the car," I replied, stiffly and returned to feeding myself and the bouncing baby.

"Are you going to miss class today?" my mom asked, casually, her eyes never leaving the newspaper in her hands.

"Only if you want me, too," I said, grinning from ear to ear, as I watched my mother's gentle face contort into a serious expression.

"I'm serious, Karissa."

With a soft chuckle, I nodded my head and pushed the empty cereal bowl aside, wrapping my arm around Alexis' middle and got to my feet. Kayla remained unmoved, as she watched me get up from the table and walk towards the sink, placing my bowl inside and putting the cereal box in it's rightful spot. Alexis struggled against my hold, hoping to crawl across the counter and take the lid off the large jar filled with chocolate chip cookies.

Little Lexi had the biggest sweet tooth and really, that was my fault. Once she got fed up of the boob most one year olds are fascinated with, I began feeding her solid foods, one being cookies. Almost instantly, she grew addicted to them and for over a week, that's all she ever wanted to eat. I'd try and give her those baby cups with squashed vegetables, but she would always push the spoon away and her learning eyes would travel towards the large cookie jar. She even gave the cookie jar a name only she understood for a few days, until I figured out her coding. She'd call out to boo boo and outstretch her arms, hoping the jar would just fly into her hands. But, her little fantasies ended short after my mom scowled her.

"Boo boo. Boo boo! Boo boo!" she called, stretching towards the jar and slapping her hands against the counter, in hope that I would just let go of her.

"Alexis Elizabeth Montanni, no boo boo," my mom said, sternly and stood up from her chair, sending little Alexis an angry expression. Instantly, she stopped hitting the counter and leaned backwards, hitting her back with my chest and her lip trembled. She clasped her hands together and pulled them up towards her face, covering her teary eyes.

"Oh no, Lexi, no crying, honey. You can get a boo boo later, okay," I answered, gently, placing a kiss on her head and handing her over to her grandmother.

Without even glimpse, she snuggled her face into my mother's neck and began wailing. In no time, my mother would try to silence her, only to make it worse and finally, she'd give up and snap at her. Alexis never disobeyed my mother, especially if she had a scowl over her face. She did well in obeying, because my mother gave no mercy. I had learned many lessons and had been given plenty of consequences if I didn't obey.

"Come on, Karissa. We're gonna be late for school," Kayla said, glancing at the clock just above the kitchen entrance. I nodded in agreement and pecked my sniffling daughter on the head, before heading into the living room, retrieving my bag and few belongings. I could hear Kayla trying to hush Alexis, only to finally make her cry. Kayla cringed and quietly said good-bye to my mother, rushing out the front door.

"Bye mom!" I called out the door and shut the front door behind me. Kayla was already buckled inside the driver's side, waving me over, nervously. I shook my head and walked towards her car, opening the passenger door and sliding inside, watching my friend with a grin.

"Finally! Your mom's going to turn into Momzilla because of me, and you're just taking your damn time!" she exclaimed, once I closed the door and started laughing.

"Real nice, man. Priceless," I stated, through a fit of giggles and chuckles.

With an angry grunt, Kayla pulled out of the drive-way and turned onto the road, speeding down my street. I watched the trees and people blur past the window blending into colours and into different shapes. I ignored the fact that school was just around the corner, wishing we could drive for hours, instead of minutes. The person on the radio station we were listening to, announced it was close to eight twenty in the morning, before letting some 80's song play. Kayla turned the radio off and turned into the school parking lot minutes later, ignoring people's brightened faces at her presence and pulling into her usual parking spot.

Once she turned the engine off, she turned to me and arched an eyebrow. I wondered why she was staring at me like she wanted to take a shit, but then I realized she was just looking at me with a questioning expression; she wanted to know what happened yesterday. Sighing, I turned to face her in my seat and cleared my throat, loudly, making her roll her eyes and squirm in her seat from frustration. I coughed, softly, before saying, "I skipped class to smoke weed with Deryk."

By the way her jaw dropped and her eyes widened into huge saucers, I imagined she was surprised. I scratched my forehead, then dropped my hand and looked back at my best friend, still gawking at me. I tried to ignore the concerned faces that past by the windshield and windows, staring inside at Kayla. The noisy students would hesitate to stop and I thought they'd pull me out of the car, before beating me up, but they continued with their day and whispered to their neighbor about the shocked expression she was giving me.

"You did what?" she exclaimed, finally coming out of her daze.

"Well, uhm, I smoked a joint with Deryk and missed two classes," I stated, quietly and ducked as soon as I saw a blurred object flying right at my face.

"Oh my Lord, I cannot even believe you didn't tell me and you - you smoked weed! Oh good heavens! Karissa, what if you got caught and oh my God, me and you were in an argument and who would you have talked to at the office? No one! No one! Your mom would've killed you, if I hadn't and oh God! Karissa!" she a final huff, she shook her head and narrowed her blue eyes at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to keep the smile from spreading across my lips.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, calmly and sighed, loudly. "Anyways, tell me. What happened with this Deryk kid?" she asked, curiously and arched a slender eyebrow.

"Really, nothing. We talked and I guess, we got to know each other. Uhm, we laughed a lot, obviously. A side-effect of weed and uhm, well, we went inside the school and he wanted me to skip the rest of the day with him, but I knew my mom would kill me and I told him no. Then, he just left," I announced.

"What do you mean he just left?" she asked.

"He just left, without a, "See you later, Karissa," or, "I'll see you tomorrow." Nothing," I stated, with a soft shrug. I congratulated myself for keeping calm and not actually saying how I felt about him just leaving me there, standing like a complete idiot. It did anger me to know he just left and I had spent two full hours with him, and he couldn't have left a single good-bye.

"Hm," Kayla paused for a moment, before she began, "how did you two, you know, start talking? Was he hanging around all those narc kids or something?"

"No, no. Remember that little creek we found when we went to smoke that joint way back?" I asked, tentatively.

She nodded and replied with a quick, "Yes," before rushing me to continue.

"I was just climbing up there and I guess I was having second thoughts about even doing it, when he asked me if I wanted a lighter. From there, it's history," I answered, tossing my bangs to the side and making a mental note that very soon, myself and Alexis had to visit the hairdresser.

"I still can't believe you did that again, when you promised you wouldn't. I know, I know; I did say that if it was for a guy you could break a promise, but we both said this promise was made of gold and we weren't gonna break it," she said, hastily and ran her fingers threw her hair, before tossing her bangs to the side. With much annoyance present on her face, she decided to finally pin her bangs back and pulled her hair up into a high ponytail.

"I know, Kayla, but I did it and it's over and done with. I promise and I promise to keep this promise, that I won't do it again. It was just in the moment," I stated, truthfully and watched her lips spread into a large smile.

"I'm holding your word for it, darling! Anyways, let's start another day in prison," she chuckled and stepped out of the car, slinging her purse over her shoulder. But before I climbed out of the car, I glanced down at the floor by my feet and saw a CD laying there, shining brightly under the sun. Shaking my head, I realized Kayla wanted to cut my head in mind and yes, she had thrown a sharp and dangerous CD at me.

Stepping out of the car, I closed the door behind me and placed my hands on the roof of the car, narrowing my eyes into tight slits. Kayla's eyes traveled from the mirror of her compact in the middle of her hand to my glaring ones and her eyebrows raised. "What?" she asked, critically.

"A CD? Honestly? A damn CD?" I asked, with mild shock and anger.

"Oh, babe, get over it. It was just in the moment," she replied, hoping that mocking me would make me angry, but instead, I displayed a smile and walked around the car, sticking my middle finger high in the air and chuckling when I heard her gasp.

◊

I stood at my locker, reaching inside and grabbing the necessary books and utensils, before poking my head around my locker door and searching the hallways for him. Second period had ended only minutes ago and I would've seen him by now, walking casually and keeping to himself. I wanted to see the rejection and disappointment in girls' eyes, as he shook his head at their request and moved past them.

But, I hadn't saw him once today.

"What are you looking at?" her voice brought me back from my ponderings and minute-search for him, for Deryk. I stopped looking and glanced over at Kayla, watching me curiously, before turning her attention in the direction I was looking at.

"I was looking for you. Ready for class?" I asked, starting to close the locker.

"You're looking for Deryk, aren't you? He wasn't in my class earlier," Kayla announced and I felt my sudden search disappear. I sighed, heavily and nodded my head, hoping that'd answer her question.

"I was hoping to talk to him today, about yesterday and stuff. Maybe he's a bad influence on me and I should just stay away from him," but deep down inside, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from him. There was something about him, that pulled me towards him and I hardly knew anything about him. He was just so damn intriguing.

"Whatever you chose, darling. But I think two things; either you stay away from him or get to know him better. You never know what you'll find out and well, you might feel differently about him," Kayla said, with a soft shrug and headed down the hall towards her classroom.

I watched Kayla saunter down the hallways, until she was barely a visible blonde head amongst all the people crowding and walking towards class. I stepped back and felt my back hit the locker. I didn't want to think about Deryk, not right now, not this moment. I couldn't seem to keep my mind away from him, though and the fact that he wasn't here, made me wonder about where he was and what he was thinking.

"Jesus, I sound like I'm obsessed," I whispered to myself and shook my head, running my hand down my face.

I tried to pay attention through class, but I couldn't focus on any school work. My teacher would give me sideways glances or just watch me for a few seconds, before returning to teach her lesson and furthermore explain whatever she was doing. My mind was elsewhere, though, as it had been for the past hour or more. I'd try and doodle on a blank piece of paper, hoping that'd ease my mind, but it only made things worse. I'd start to draw things and when I really gave the sheet of paper a good look, the letter D would be drawn in the middle of the page and I knew very well what it stood for. I'd fold the piece of paper and continue drawing on it, until I got tired and placed it under my binder.

It was him, him, him, him. Deryk. Where in the world could he be at this very moment and why wasn't he in the place most teenagers were in? Why wasn't he in school? My head was filled with questions to fill a whole classroom and not once, I did find an answer. I wanted to talk to him and hopefully then, I'd be able to answer all these questions and find what I was looking for. Maybe then, I'd figure out if Deryk was someone I wanted to be around, someone who would help me ease this pain. Or maybe, I should just stay away from him. What if he was the one causing me all this pain? He sure as hell was making me go completely nuts and drown in my own frustration.

The bell rang sooner than I expected and I was already walking out my classroom door. Kayla, as usual, was standing at my locker, tapping her acrylic nails against her binder and chewing gum, noisily. Once she spotted me amongst everyone else, she walked towards me, shouldering past a few girls and a smooching couple, literally separating them and pushing them apart. Kayla pushed threw a small group of freshmens and hooked arms with me, pulling me towards the locker. Kayla didn't wait a second to explain exactly what happened in her class and as she rambled on, it gave me time to put my stuff away and fill my head with another set of questions.

". . . Oh my God, you should've been there. It was hilarious! She totally faceplanted and slid right across the floor. Everyone in the class saw her fat ass and started laughing at her. Even the teacher chuckled a bit and she ran out balling her eyes out! It was completely funny. I haven't laughed so hard in my entire life," Kayla ended her story with a soft sigh and tilted her head to the side, as she watched me.

I nodded and uttered a soft, "oh," before closing my locker and starting to walk to my third period class. Kayla grunted, loudly and trailed after me, greeting a few jocks on the way and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the bathroom. I leaned against the wall closet to the door and watched Kayla groom herself, flipping hair this way and flipping it that way. Applying a bit of eyeshadow on one eye and then the next. Painting her lips with lip gloss and puckering them, as though that'd add extra effect. As I watched my best friend, others watched her with intense stares. They hated her and Kayla knew it very well, but that didn't bother her one bit. She didn't seem at all fazed that these girls, washing their hands beside her and drying their hands under the hand dryer, wanted to choke her to death. Envious.

"Oh God, I wish all these sluts would stop looking at me. I know, I'm fucking beautiful, but get over it," Kayla claimed, snobbishly and glanced at a petite blonde girl beside her, who at the moment had been glaring at her threw the mirror. In less than a second, the bathroom had been clear and it was only Kayla and me. Kayla chuckled and hopped onto the counter, sitting cross-legged.

"Kayla, you're a bitch," I stated, walking towards her and placing my books beside her.

"Oh, I know," she replied, coyly and arched an eyebrow.

I smiled, weakly and stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what was truly wrong with me. Was it my looks? My personality? Or just me in total? In the beginning, I hadn't thought about any of this because I had DJ and I didn't need to question anything because he had chosen me. I wanted to believe he hadn't been with me just for the sex, and there had been chemistry between us. After all the troubles he put me threw, it was hard to believe.

"Karissa, are you okay?" Kayla's face had gone from smug to concerned. I looked away from my reflection and nodded, hoping my smile would convince her.

"Nothing, really, I'm alright," I announced.

"I wish I could believe you. When you have something on your mind, it fucks with you. Trust me, you're my best friend. I know this for a fact," Kayla said, tilting her head.

"But really, I'm fine. I mean, it isn't such a big deal. I just need to speak to him and it'll be done. I think the best thing to do is, well, stay away from him. I'm getting all jumbled up for absolutely nothing. I hardly know this kid. For all I know, he's this fucking serial killer on the loose and I'm his next victim. I gotta get rid of this guy," Kayla looked over at me and arched an eyebrow, before shaking her head.

"You sound like some FBI agent. He isn't a serial killer and you aren't his victim. I think you should get to know him. I mean, he doesn't seem horrible. He isn't like DJ, Karissa. If you give Deryk a chance, I'm sure he'll be able to help get DJ out of your head and especially, out of your heart. He doesn't have to be your boyfriend, but like, he can open your eyes and show you DJ is a douchebag and you shouldn't give the fucker a second chance," she explained furthermore and shrugged, gently.

"I was never going to get DJ a second chance, no matter if he's Alexis' father or not," I stated.

"Karissa, you just pointed out the exact reason why you would give him a second chance. If he ever wanted something from you, that's all he'd say to you and you know he's one helluva an actor. He'll play you and Lexi, then get away with it and do some heartbreaking shit the next. You'll be in the same position you are in right now. You think you won't give a chance because he's hurt you so bad, but he is Alexis' father and he may use it against you. Maybe not this instance, maybe not this year or the next. But he'll come around and you better remember what I say to you. He ruined your life, and your baby's. He left her fatherless and you, heartbroken. Just because he fathered Alexis, doesn't mean he is her father. To Lexi, he's just a stranger and to you, he's just a liar," the moment she ended her mini lecture, the bell rang. Kayla jumped off the counter and grabbed her books, pecked me on the cheek and walked out.

I placed my hands on the counter top and leaned forward, watching my reflection move closer to me. Kayla was right, even if I didn't want to believe it and die in my own denial. DJ still wasn't out of my life or my heart, as much as I wanted him, too and I would be willing enough to take him back. He hurt me, left my daughter fatherless, but if he asked me to take him back, I would without any doubts in my mind. Deep down, I was glad Kayla had told me this and finally made me see how really vulnerable and gullible I was to DJ's lie. He'd use Alexis as an excuse to pull me in and by the end of whatever argument we got into, people would know DJ was with me again.

My head started throbbing and it seemed, every muscle in my body ached. I clutched my stomach for a few moments, as a wave of sudden pain rolled threw me and made me gasp. For a few minutes, I held my stomach and leaned against the wall, waiting for this pain to disappear. When I felt only numbness, I grabbed my books and walked into the empty corridor, heading towards the office only hallways away. A few skipping students watched me pass with disgust, but I ignored them, as I tried ignoring my enormous headache. The only thing I was thinking, was that I needed to go home and sleep.

The office wasn't as occupied as it was every morning. Only two students sat in the chairs aligned against the wall and I knew they were waiting to talk to one of the vice-principals. The students glanced at me, once I stepped inside and glared at me, the usual teenager greeting. The secretary sat behind her desk, filled with papers and admit slips, typing on her computer and talking rapidly on her ear-piece.

"Yes, alright. I'll page her down and she'll sign out as soon as she gets here. Alright, thank you," she ended the call and turned to stare at me, with a gentle smile. She held up a finger and glanced at one of the boys sitting against the wall. One of the VP's poked their head out of their office and called the boy in, dismissing a freshmen girl. Without even a glance upwards, the girl walked towards the office door and disappeared.

"Jacob, Mrs. Rogers will see you now," the secretary said, in a soft and gentle voice. Jacob grunted a respond and moved towards Mrs. Rogers opened office, dragging his feet noisily. Once he was inside and the door had shut, the secretary turned to me and gave me another sweet smile, "Can I help you sweetheart?" she asked.

"I'd like to sign out please," I responded, walking towards her desk and sitting down on the chair in front of it.

"Are you eighteen?" she demanded.

"Yes, I'm eighteen. I'd just like to sign out. I don't feel well," I stated, and watched her nod her head.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I refrained from grimacing at the word sweetheart and instead, told her my name. She typed my last name into the computer and my student picture came up, along with other information. She reached under a few papers and grabbed the Sign In/ Out sheet, passing it towards me along with a pen. "Alright, write your name down and I'll give you a slip to give your teacher," she said.

Quickly, I scribbled down my name, the reasons I was signing out and the time. I handed the secretary back the sheet and grabbed the paper admit slip from her, thanking her quietly and heading towards my classroom. On the way there, I stopped at my locker and the books under my arm, inside the locker. I retrieved my bag and pulled out books I needed, before putting them inside and reaching for my cell.

Hey Kayla. Went home. Txt me l8r. Love you. <3

Closing the locker, I pulled my sweater on and slung my bag over my shoulder. I checked for the admit slip and headed towards my classroom, just around the corner. I knew my teacher would disapprove of me leaving, but she wasn't important right now and I didn't give a fuck, to put it bluntly. Mrs. Jenkins, my chemistry teacher and most insisting person in the world. I had always assumed my mother or even Kayla were annoying, because they were always bugging me and nagging. But Mrs. Jenkins had proven me wrong. She nagged on all her students and insisted on them giving answers 24/7. She wanted students to attend her class, no matter if they were on their death beds; as she put it, they still needed to learn and fill with knowledge. She had a knack on picking on me and two other students who seemed to slack. I barely paid attention to her, but I pretended to do my homework whenever she did her regular walk around the class, to check if every student was doing what they needed to do; learn and work.

As I had expected, Mrs. Jenkins paced back and forth, talking loudly in her over-pinched voice at the front of the class. Her voice annoyed me, too. Her voice would stay at a moderate level and just as she was ending a sentence, it would go up a few tempos. She always seemed to keep me awake in that class, no matter how tired I was and it wasn't just me, it was everyone else. No one ever expected it and we always trusted she wouldn't do it, but the highness of her voice would always come unexpectedly and you'd always see heads pop up in surprise and fright.

Gently, I knocked on the door and I watched her old face snap in my direction. Her eyes narrowed, making the lines at the side of her face smile and quickly, she wobbled towards the door and flung it open. Her wardrobe, as every day, was horrendous and in dire need to be visited by Tyra Banks. Today, she wore a frilly, button-up blouse that was, to everyone's horror, see-through. Her legs were covered by a long, black skirt and red stockings. Her feet sat in ugly, grey Reebok's only elderly women seemed to wear. Her lips were painted with too much red lipstick and her hair, well, the few strands she still had, hung limply by her shoulders.

Jenkins watched me, critically and tapped her foot, rapidly. As though she thought I needed to be welcomed inside, she motioned me with her hand, flicking her skinny wrist. I smiled, as sweetly as I could and stretched out my hand, holding the admit slip between my fingers. Her eyes flicked down to the purple, square-shaped paper and without hesitance, ripped it from my fingers. She scanned it, seeing if it was actually fact or not and looked up at me, glaring me up and down.

"So, why," I cringed as her voice pinched into a higher note and looked over at my classmates, grimacing at the old lady and shaking their head, "are you signing out, Ms. Montanni?" she asked, tilting her head.

"I'm not feeling very well," I said, simply.

"You're going to miss an important lesson today. I suggest you stay, then leave. You'll need to know this," I knew this lesson and the next would be as boring as the past ones. She tried to convince everyone that the lesson she was teaching, would be truly important, but it never was. It'd be a continuation of the day before.

"Mrs. Jenkins, I'm sure it'll be important just as every other lesson is, but I don't feel good. The secretary told me to give you this and if that's all, I'll be on my way," I responded, watching her eyes flicker with anger at my sudden response.

"Fine. Leave, but tomorrow, don't come asking me what you've missed," she answered, hastily and wobbled towards her desk, placing the slip on a pile of yesterday's work.

Rolling my eyes, I shrugged and answered, "I won't, trust me."

I didn't wait for an answer and before she turned around, I was already walking down the hallway. I let my feet take me, lead me to wherever. In less than an hour, I had walked most of my way home. I knew my mother wouldn't home once I got there, but it didn't matter. I wouldn't need to get my daughter, because everyday after work, she'd go get her at the daycare. I got home and went straight up to my room, pealing my school clothes off and replacing them with my PJ's. I crawled into bed, pulling the sheets over my body and snuggled deeper into the warmth. My headache throbbed, but less than before, and somehow, it helped to ease my eyes and put me to sleep.