A Messed-Up Heart

Nothing but cold surrounded me at the moment. I absolutely hated that. Being cold was never one of my favorite things. I utterly despised cold temperatures and usually found myself wrapped up in a blanket. That couldn’t happen here. I was sitting in a grassy meadow, just underneath a giant oak tree. There was no blanket in sight. Despite the frigid temperature, the place I was in felt much like a dream world, like what I was currently experiencing wasn’t real. But, why? What happened to cause me to be sent to this dream world?

As I was sitting under the tree, I tried to figure out what was reason was for all of this. I needed to understand exactly why all of this was happening, what occurred to cause this to happen. The last thing that I remembered before being sent out to this dream world was standing in Times Square staring up at the stage as the countdown to the New Year went on. The last things I saw were the faces of Betsy and…that was when the realization of what happened occurred to me. I knew exactly why I was here. “Kevin,” I said.

I remembered that it was Kevin who caught me as the year ended when I had a seizure. Betsy sent him down to help me. His voice was the last I heard before slipping into this dream world. It was the last voice I wanted to hear and it was. The last words I heard before coming to this dream world were: “You know that I still do care about you and that, on some level, I’m…” What Kevin had wanted to tell me was still a mystery to me, but I was determined to find out what it was. I needed to know what Kevin was trying to tell me. So, when I got out of this dream world, I was going to have to ask Kevin what he had been trying to tell me that night before blacking out in his arms. I had to know.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I leaned up against the tree, thinking about what was going on. There had to be a good enough reason for me to be in this dream world right now. My thoughts soon turned to Kevin though. Kevin was the reason that all of this had happened, the reason the seizure occurred. He an Allison caused all of this occur. This was yet another thing that I would have to question Kevin about when I got out of this dream world in order to make him understand what he did and what he caused over the past few months.

Soon, I began to hear a faint voice singing. As it grew louder, I noticed that it was definitely male, meaning that it was definitely one of the boys. I paid close attention to the voice and soon realized that it was Kevin singing, using the seldom heard voice that I loved.

…I'm still in love with
You left without a single word
Not even sorry
It might've hurt worse to hear you say
I'm leaving, goodbye
But your smile still makes my heart sing
Another sad song
I can't forget it
I won't regret it
Cause I'm still in love with you

When I heard that particular song being sung, I found myself being pulled away from the dream world I was in. I was going back to the real world it seemed. Darkness surrounded me for a few moments before my eyes fluttered open. From what I could tell, I was in a stark white room, lying in a bed. Kevin was at my side. “I had a seizure, did I?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“I thought so,” I said. “So, what happened?”

“Ask your sister,” Kevin said.

My attention quickly turned to Betsy who was sitting at the foot of my hospital along with Nick and Joe on either side of her. “Betsy, what happened? I know you saw me on New Year’s Eve, just before the seizure occurred. I know that you were aware of the fact that I stopped taking my pills. You knowing that is the only plausible reason for you trying to get me to come back to California. Now, what happened after my seizure, Betsy?”

“The seizure lasted for about fifteen minutes before you went into a coma, Duh,” Betsy explained. “So, it’s either been me or Kevin that has been at your side for the past week.”

I nodded when I heard that. “I figured as much. So, what exactly did you do about the media?” I asked. “I’m sure that there is absolutely no way in hell that you would ever allow the media to become aware of everything that happened, particularly when this occurred at midnight.”

“Quite,” Betsy replied. “The first day that you were here in this coma, I had the boys issue a statement regarding what happened to you. If any footage of it appeared on YouTube or anything, I would sue whoever put it up and tried to profit of it for damages.”

I laughed. “You always would jump at the chance to sue someone. Whenever Mom or Dad would complain about them, your response would always be to sue them. I never thought that I’d see the day where you might actually get the chance to sue someone, based solely on what happened to me. So, have you talked with Sterling lately?”

“No, but I probably should,” she said.

My younger sister left the room, followed by Nick and Joe, who said that they needed to call Selena and the rest of the Jonas family respectively in order to let them know that I was okay. This left me alone in the hospital room along with Kevin. I sighed. “Kevin, I know that it was you singing. I know that it was your singing that brought me out of my coma. And, I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I really do appreciate the fact that you would do that. Though we may not have been really close up until moving out to California with you guys, I know perfectly well that Betsy wouldn’t have been able to handle me being in a coma. For fourteen long years, Betsy has had to watch as I had seizures all the time. She never wanted to see any of this happen to me, particularly around you guys. This is not really something that you guys ever should have ever witnessed. Betsy did everything in her power to keep you guys from realizing what went on, to help me keep this a secret from you guys, but it apparently wasn’t enough to prevent you, Nick, and Joe from realizing that I was plagued with seizures. You found out anyway.”

“I already knew, remember?” Kevin reminded me. “You told me about it when you mentioned the fact that you planned on giving a portion of your book deal money out to three different charities, including one for epilepsy. I actually got in trouble with your sister for knowing about your seizures; she blames me for everything that happened over the past few weeks.”

I bit my lip. “Well, to a certain extent, she’s right, Kevin,” I explained, letting out a heavy sigh. “If you never started dating Allison, this never would have happened. If Kevanda had stayed together, I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with the fact that my seizures resurfaced.” As I was saying this, I knew that Kevin was never going to understand what was going on unless I explained it to him. Kevin didn’t seem to realize just how much damage he had done by dating Allison, how much of this really was his fault.

“You too, Mandolin! Come on, cut me a break. There was really no way of knowing that any of this was going to happen because we decided to break up,” Kevin explained.

“Why don’t you go talk to Allison then? I’m sure that she’d tell you differently. I’ve told you before that Allison is psychic; she knew exactly what was going to happen before it even happened,” I told him. “Plus, everyone in the world knows how much Allison hates me. You, of course, seem to be obvious as to jut how much and what she’s been doing in an attempt to get rid of me. I mean, just try to understand, Kevin. Try to understand what your girlfriend has been doing to me. Once you’re able to understand that, you’ll be able to understand that Allison has been trying to push me away from you guys.”

Kevin’s gorgeous hazel eyes rolled. “Mandolin, while we’re on that subject, I want to speak with you about something. Yes, I have noticed how much Allison hates you; you can thank your sister for that one. That’s why I think that it would be in your best interest to go back to Pennsylvania for awhile, to stay with your parents. Queeny will stay with us, Selena, or Demi for the duration, so that she can continue pursuing her dreams of fame, but I really do believe that you should go back to Pennsylvania for awhile.”

Though I understood where Kevin was coming from and why going back out to Pennsylvania was probably the best idea for me, I definitely didn’t want to. Going back to Pennsylvania meant having to deal with my parents after having a seizure. It was something that I never wanted to deal with. Of course, with Allison around, I might not really have any choice in the matter. I might have to do all of this. “Must I do that?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, Mandolin. It would probably be for the best. And, it’s only going to be for awhile. Once Allison’s rage towards you subsides, or when I break up with her, that’s when you’ll be able to come back out to California. We, of course, will remain in contact with you, but that’s the extent of the contact we should have with you while I’m dating Allison.”

“And, what about my sister?” I asked, remembering the situation that Betsy told me about when we talked on my birthday. Betsy and I were each dealing with the fact that we were each still in love with our respective Jonas. We both dealt with that, and I suspected that it was going to last. “I mean, Betsy has the same situation with Zora. The fight that’s been going on between me and Allison about you is the same situation that Betsy and Zora are having regarding Joe. Exactly what do you intend on doing about that. You can’t send her away to prevent Zora and Betsy from fighting like you’re trying to do with me and Allison, particularly when she’s supposed to be a recurring character on JONAS.”

“That’s what Selena and Demi are going to help us for,” Kevin explained. “Demi, in particular, plans on helping us in dealing with that situation. She was the one to play matchmaker between Sterling and your sister and is trying to create Berling. Demi has been trying to keep Her Majesty from thinking about Joe. Sterling was brought in to help her.”

“Yeah, but I know that Betsy is still in love with Joe, the same way that I know that Betsy warned you about me still being in love with you,” I reminded him. “How exactly are you supposed to deal with something like that, particularly when none of those couples are together? Instead of Kevanda and Jetsy, the existing relationships are Kallison, Jora, and Berling. Not even Davanda was able to last because of my feelings for you. Betsy is sure to still have feelings for Joe, and Berling may not last as long as you, Demi, and everyone else seem to think.” After going through all of this myself, I knew what to expect from my younger sister. It seemed as if I was the only one who could help Betsy get over the feelings that she had for Joe. Betsy was, in some respects, like me, at least in regards to the Jonas boys. I hoped, of course, that it was not going to come to that, hoping that I would be wrong about my younger sister and that she’d be able to get over Joe and pursue a relationship with Sterling. I would if I had to though. In the same way that Betsy had tried to get me over the feelings that I had for Kevin, so would I attempt to do the same with Betsy, so that she could hopefully get over her feelings for Joe.

“Oh, yeah. Queeny told me about the dreams that you’ve been having these past few months with me. I know exactly what’s been going on. That’s part of the reason that you’re staying away from California and Allison for the time being. Of course, you will always have a part of me with you, just like we will always have a part of you with us,” Kevin explained.

“She told you of my dreams? Well, I guess that I can tell you then that the forty-nine that was mentioned in the letter is now up to fifty-five,” I told him, trying to figure out why Betsy would mention my dream journal to him. Now Kevin would know about how pathetic I seemed. But, that was not something I needed to worry about. I was going to have to worry about Allison and what she’d do if she knew about all of this. “By the way, what do you mean by me having a part of you with me? I mean, I get the whole Betsy staying with you guys, but not your other statement? What exactly did you mean by that?”

“Oh, well, not ten minutes before you awoke from your coma, I came in and did something that Queeny made me realize needed to be done. Look down and you’ll understand exactly what I meant and what I did in order to help you out,” Kevin explained.

Taking Kevin’s advice, I looked down and saw a necklace around my neck, one that I knew wasn’t there before the coma. Well, actually it was more of a heart-shaped locket embossed with the medic alert symbol. I laughed. “You had a medic alert necklace created out of a locket.” I then tried opening the locket, but found that I couldn’t do so. “What exactly is in here and why is it that I can’t open it?” I asked, glancing over at Kevin.

“It can only be opened under one condition. I can’t exactly tell you what it is though,” Kevin said. “You must find that out for yourself. And, just think of that as a birthday present.”

“Okay,” I said, hugging Kevin. “Look, I will go back to Pennsylvania in order to stay with my parents, but you must promise me one thing: there are certain occasions that I do want to spend time with my sister. Either I must come to you or she must come to me.”

Kevin nodded and hugged me back. “So long as it’s not that often, okay. We can’t exactly have happen that might cause Allison or Zora to come after you or Betsy. Now, come on, Mandolin. Let’s get you out of the hospital and get you back out to Pennsylvania.”