A Messed-Up Heart

As the Jonas boys, Betsy, and I said goodbye to one another, I had to wipe my tears away. It was going to be extremely hard for me to say goodbye to my younger sister, particularly when I was supposed to be staying out in California with her. It was the only possible way for Betsy to even go out there. “Betsy, I really do hope that you’re going to be okay with everything that’s been going out in California. I’m not going to be there to help you. And, based on Mom and Dad’s rule, the only reason you were ever allowed to fly out to California with the boys was because I was there with you. Mom and Dad will most assuredly flip out when they learn that I’m coming back to Pennsylvania for awhile. They’ll insist that you come back as well since I’m no longer there to keep an eye on you.”

“They can’t do that though,” Betsy objected. “Disney would never let something like that happen. Amanda, you’re going to have to come up with a reason for all of this, to keep the fact that I’m on my own with the boys. Just tell them that you’re there visiting.”

“Without you?” I asked.

“You’d have to tell that I have filming to do. It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s not the truth either,” Betsy said. “It’s just that Mom and Dad must never know that the real reason behind you deciding go back there is because Allison drove you away from California.”

“Of course,” I nodded. I sighed and let go of my younger sister in order to go say my goodbyes to Joe. “Joe, I know that you and my younger sister haven’t been on very good terms since Thanksgiving, but please try. Don’t push her out of your life as you have been doing. Betsy needs you and your brothers now more than ever since I’m flying back to Pennsylvania for awhile. She needs you to be around. So, promise me that you’ll spend more time with Betsy than you have been over the past five weeks. Just promise me, Joe.”

“I can’t really promise anything, Panda, but I’ll try,” Joe said as he hugged me back. “After all, Lizard knows perfectly well that I have a problem with what she did and that I’m just not sure if I can forgive her for what she did to me. If she truly did love me as she claimed she does, Lizard would have only included me on her hot guy list. Of course, since she didn’t have only me on that list like I obviously would have wanted, there’s no way that I can bring myself to date her, no matter how much she may still care for me.”

My gaze averted over to my younger sister. Well, there went that idea, I thought. I was really hoping that I might be able to bring them back together before I left. I guess I was wrong about that. Nick will have to have help me with that then. I sighed. “Please try then,” I told him.

He nodded. “Okay.”

Since I wanted to make sure that Joe and Betsy went back to being friends, the way that they were when Kevanda was together, I went over to say goodbye to Nick and see if he would help me with that. “Nick, while I’m gone, could you please do something for me make sure that Joe and my sister remain friends? I don’t want to see that friendship end, and you’re the only one that can help me do that and keep their friendship alive.”

“Sure, Manda. I’ll do that for you. I’ll help you with this,” Nick said. “Now, why don’t you go over and talk to Kevin? There’s something that he wants to tell you before you leave.”

I knew that Nick was right. Kevin was the only one that I had not yet gotten the chance to say goodbye to. This was not something that I really wanted to do, not something I wanted to deal with since I was so in love with him. Of course, the fact was that I had to. With Allison trying so hard to use her psychic ability to make my life miserable so that I would be forced to go back home, the only thing I could do was go back home for awhile, away from the boys and my younger sister. I sighed and looked over at Kevin. “I don’t think that you are ever going to realize just how much I’m going to miss you. Betsy told you of my dreams and that’s proof of what I’ve been telling you,” I said.

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll definitely miss having you around. Queeny is especially going to miss having you around. With the level of closeness that you guy have now compared to how close you were in August. You going back out to Pennsylvania for awhile will only cause Queeny to start relying on Selena, Demi, and Nick. Joe and I would be a part of that group, but we have our own lives at the moment and your sister might not be a part of that because of the fact that neither Allison nor Zora really like your sister very much.”

“Just try,” I said.

“Sure, Mandolin,” he said.

Hoping that he would, I then turned my attention to the other reason that I was over here, the thing Nick told me about. “Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?” I asked. “Nick mentioned that you had something you wished to tell me. So, what exactly is it?”

Kevin sighed. “Well, there is one day in the coming weeks that you’ll be able to see us: January 18th. We’re having a live chat that day at five o’clock eastern standard time,” Kevin explained. “You won’t be able to see Queeny, but that’s a sacrifice that you’ll have to make. We can’t exactly let you see her and cause us to disappoint our fans.”

When I heard about the live chat, the only think that I could do was roll my eyes. Of all the things that they could do, the boys had to go with the live chat. “Jeez, Kevin, pick the worst possible thing, why don’t you? That was what caused us to meet five months ago, remember? I can only imagine what would happen if the same thing were to happen. After all, with everything that happened the last time you boys held a live chat, every teen girl is going to try to get you, Joe, or Nick to do what you did for me and Betsy.”

“That won’t happen though,” Kevin said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because of Allison. I mean, you must remember that there is absolutely no way that she would ever let something like that happen while I’m dating her,” Kevin explained, hugging me goodbye. “She may not be going to Detroit with us that weekend, but Allison definitely will not appreciate something like that. So, I wouldn’t worry about that ever happening when the chat occurs. Now, why don’t you head off? And, remember what I told you.”

“Okay,” I nodded.

As I said my final farewells to Betsy and the boys, I hoped that Mom and Dad weren’t going to kill me for what happened. Going back to Pennsylvania meant the possibility of them finding out about the fact that I went off my pills long enough to cause me to have a seizure. They could never know about that or the coma I was in for a week. As I boarded the plane back home to Pennsylvania, I began to wonder if Betsy really was going to be okay staying with the Jonas family. She would have to stay in the same house as her ex without me being there to help her deal with everything that happened. I slumped down into my seat and pulled out my mp3 player, pressing play and letting the boys’ music flood my ears. This was the only way that I would really be able to hear their voices now. It was like six months ago when Betsy and I would just sit around talking about the possibility of meeting the boys. Of course, now I was going to be back in Pennsylvania while Betsy got to spend time with the boys as she pursued her dreams. It just wasn’t fair and I had Allison and her stupid psychic ability to blame for what was now going on.