A Messed-Up Heart

On Sunday morning, Selena, Betsy, and I headed out to see our relatives, so as to give us a chance to see Stefanie before she headed out to Taiwan for the coming three months. Stefanie was always my favorite cousin and I wished to say goodbye to her before she left the country, particularly when considering the fact that Betsy and I never got the chance to say goodbye to Stefanie before we headed out to California last August. As we headed over there, my thoughts drifted to the summer that I spent with Stefanie, the summer that she and I became so close that there was one day in which Stefanie and I were both wearing Power Ranger shirts. What was funny about that was the fact that neither of us had seen each other until putting on our respective shirts. We saw each other and had a good laugh about it.

With the level of closeness that Stefanie and I had, there was absolutely no way in hell that I wished to let Stefanie leave for Taiwan without getting the chance to say goodbye to her. That was why I pulled Betsy out of California for awhile, so that we could get the chance to properly say goodbye to our favorite relatives. We never got the chance to say goodbye to them, Steve, Erika, and Luis aside. Our chance to do so was today. We arrived a little over an hour later and knocked on the front door. It was our Uncle Mike who opened the door. “Lizzie! Amanda! Come in, girls. And, who’s this with you?” he asked.

“A friend,” Betsy said.

“Okay,” Uncle Mike said.

“Lizzie?” Selena asked as we walked inside and, after we went to say hello to each of our relatives, sat down on the couch for awhile. “I thought that your name was Betsy.”

“It is,” Betsy said. I happen to go by a lot of names: Betsy, Beth, Queeny, Lizz, Lizzie, and Lizard. Then there are names that Amanda will jokingly refer to we as like Bethany or Betsy Wetsy. Now, aside from my grandfather who likes to call me Queeny and my grandmother who refers to me as Elizabeth, everyone on my father’s side calls me Lizzie.”

“Oh,” Selena said.

“You know, I completely forgot about that,” I told my younger sister. “We’ve spent so much time with the boys that I became so used to hearing Beth, Lizard, and Queeny being used. Lizzie never crossed my mind during the past five months out in California.”

“How though?” Betsy asked. “I mean, Kevin calls me Queeny all the time; he’s the only one to do so aside from Grandfather. Because of that, I’m constantly reminded of the fact that I never mentioned the name I always went by while we were in Pennsylvania.”

I nodded, understanding what my younger sister was talking about. However, this was definitely not the case with me. “Well, that may be the situation with you, but not for me. But then, I never really liked calling you Lizzie as it reminded me so much of Lizzie Borden; I never wanted to associate my baby sister with a murder. So, despite the fact that you always wished for me to refer to you as Lizzie, I never did, for your own sake,” I told her.

“You know, that’s actually a pretty good reason,” Betsy said. “Maybe I should rethink the plan that I made for myself a few months ago when I realized this about my name.”

“What plan?” Selena questioned.

“Yeah, what plan?” I asked.

“The plan I had to ensure that any nieces or nephews I might have should refer to me as Aunt Lizzie. Aunt Betsy sounds too much like a ninety year-old woman and that’s not what I want to be known as. I want to be known as the cool, fun aunt, ergo Lizzie. Of course, that might not be a very good idea now; with what you just mentioned to me, I may have to alter my plan.”

“I don’t think that you should,” I said.

“Why not?” Betsy asked.

“Because it’s not really your choice,” I explained to my younger sister. “It’s really up to my son or daughter to determine what your name is going to be to the future of the Weimar family.”

“Take your own advice, then,” Betsy smirked.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Oh, come on, Duh! You should know this. From the time that I was a little girl, I would always refer to you as Duh. My kids will too. The only ones that never called you Duh were Kyle and Zoe, and that was only because Aunt Amy made absolutely sure of the fact that we were referred to by our proper names. I, of course, can’t guarantee the same thing.”

I shrugged. “Well, it isn’t going to happen. I’m not going to let it. Any niece or nephew of mine is going to properly address me as Amanda, no matter how much time I must spend drilling it in.”

“How hypocritical of you!” Betsy scoffed.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you’re not willing to admit the fact that you’re bound to be called Aunt Duh by my kids,” Betsy explained. “It just seem like you’re being a little too selfish right now, which is extremely weird because usually that’s my job. It’s rare that you’re ever like that.”

“You know,” Selena interjected. “I think that the best thing for the two of you to do is to just let things happen. What you’re talking about is something that cannot really be controlled. You could be referred to as whatever each of your children want. Live with it.”

“I guess,” I sighed. “But, Duh!”

“Would you rather it be Mandy?” Betsy asked.

“Definitely not,” I replied. “I mean, it was a miracle that I was even able to keep the boys from referring to me as that. Fortunately, I got to Kevin before they could. And, if the boys ever met up with Aunt Pat or Uncle Bob before I had done that, I might have to deal with it all the time. They’re the only ones that I ever allowed to call me Mandy because they’re too old to start changing their ways merely for their grand-niece. Of course, the one person that I should never let hear about that name is Allison because of her stupid psychic ability.”

“She already does though,” Betsy said.

“Because of her psychic ability?” I asked. Betsy nodded. “I figured as much. Allison knows everything about us: what we like, and what we don’t…” At that moment, something occurred to me, something that I never wished to be uncovered, at least by Allison.

“Amanda, what wrong?” Selena asked.

“He can’t party-boy,” was the only thing that I could get out. Betsy, I knew would understand what I was thinking about; she was the one to initially say it. This was something that I never mentioned to anyone, a secret between me and Betsy. But, if Allison was psychic, she undoubtedly knew how awkward I happened to find Kevin’s S.O.S. dance.

“Huh?” Selena asked.

“Kevin’s S.O.S. dance,” Betsy explained. “You see, Amanda never really was that fond of watching the boys perform that song. She always found it way too awkward while my opinion of the S.O.S. dance was that he can’t party-boy, and shouldn’t. S.O.S. is also the only song that Amanda and I have ever performed with the boys, a request I made as a joke.”

I nodded, in full agreement with what my younger sister was saying. She was absolutely right about. Betsy knew that watching it performed was awkward for me; that was why she decided to have us since that particular song with them. It was definitely done as a joke. “And though Mandy may be a moot point because I’ve already stopped the boys from ever calling me that, the S.O.S. dance is fair game because I never told the boys—Kevin especially—how awkward it is for me to watch that song get performed by them.”

“You may just have to deal with it,” Selena said.

“Yeah,” I said, “I may.”

Moments later, Luis decided that he was going to come running over and start throwing some of his toys at us. Erika soon spotted him and came over. “No, Luis. No throwing things at Lizzie, Amanda, and their friend,” Erika said, scolding her one year-old son.

“Thanks, Erika,” I said, glancing from Betsy and Selena to Luis, who was currently getting held back by his mother, so as to keep him from throwing more toys at us.

“You’re welcome,” Erika said.

Luis pointed at Betsy. “Z.”

Betsy laughed. “Try to get him to say Lizzie?”

Erika nodded. “Yeah.”

Luis then pointed over at me. When this occurred, I suspected that he was going to call me Duh the way that Betsy and a lot of my younger cousins always did. I feared that I would have to deal with yet another person calling me Duh. To my surprise, he didn’t though. “A.”

“A?” I asked.

“It was the only way that we could keep you from being referred to as Duh the way that Lizzie did,” Steve said as he came over and sat down. “So, we used your initial to explain who you were in relation to us. When he can say Amanda, we’ll teach him that.”

“Appreciate that, Steve,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” he said.

Betsy nodded. “Yeah, you just solved one of the problems we were just trying to come up with a solution for. Without even knowing it, you were able to help us with all of this.”

“What problem?” Steve asked.

I laughed. “We were just discussing our future children and what names we were going to be referred to as aunts. A and Z are perfect. It’s like we’re the alphabet. From A to Z,” I said with a sigh. “Of course, now we have this other problem to deal with, a problem that may never be fixed.”

“What problem?” Steve asked.

“Steve, I’m sure you remember the last time that Betsy and I saw you; we were with the Jonas Brothers at the time and came to say goodbye to you guys before flying out to California for awhile to make sure that Betsy got the chance to pursue her dream of becoming a famous actress and singer,” I reminded my cousin, unsure if he really did remember.

He nodded, glancing at me, Betsy, and Selena for a moment before deciding to answer the question that I posed to him a few moments ago. “Yeah, I definitely remember that. Lizzie came to my door five months ago with Nick and Joe in order to spend the day with us while you and Kevin were off at Dorney Park for a date. You know, I’m rather surprised by the fact that you and Lizzie came here along with this friend of yours rather than coming with the Jonas Brothers. You all seemed so close last August when we saw you.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, those were the days.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Kevin and I dated for awhile, but we ultimately decided that we were better off as friends; we were way too alike for us to ever date,” I explained. “So, we broke up. I wish that we didn’t though because he haunts me in my dreams. But, there’s no way for me to ever win him back, despite the sixty dreams I’ve had with him within the past year. No, he’s too busy dating Allison to care about the fact that I’m still in love with Kevin Jonas.

“And, what’s worse is the fact that Betsy dated Joe for a time. Soon after Kevin and I broke up, I played matchmaker between them, hoping that Jetsy would last where Kevanda never did. I was ecstatic to see that Betsy was having a successful relationship with Joe, but my ecstasy was short-lived when the hot guy list Betsy had come back to bite her in the butt. Allison, who hated and wanted us gone, decided to take it upon herself to get rid of us. She stole Betsy’s hot guy list and used it against her, causing Jetsy to cease to exist.”

“Wow,” Erika breathed, “you’ve been through a lot.”

“That isn’t even the half of it,” I said.

“What do you mean?” Erika asked.

“To put it simply, I finally had enough of Allison trying to get rid of us. In mid-December, after singing Behind These Hazel Eyes, I left for New York. With me coming to California being the only reason that Betsy was even allowed to go out there, I knew it was stupid; however it was the only thing that I could do to ensure that Betsy never had to worry about Allison trying to get rid of her too. I was out in New York for about two weeks before having a seizure on New Year’s Eve. I went into a coma for a week before being forced to fly back to Pennsylvania for awhile,” I explained to my cousins with a heavy sigh.

“You had a seizure?” Aunt Charlene asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“Do your parents know?” she asked.

“No, Aunt Char. And, I don’t want them to,” I explained. “They’re on vacation and I don’t want them to worry about any of that. If anything, that’s Betsy’s job. So, please don’t say anything to our parents about what you just heard; I don’t want them to ever know.”

Aunt Charlene shrugged. “I don’t know, Amanda.”

Upon convincing Aunt Charlene to keep this quiet, I went back to talking with Betsy, Selena, and my cousins. A lot of it was just random conversation, but as day faded into evening, the conversations became weirder. By that time, it was just me, Betsy, Selena, Aunt Charlene, Uncle Mike, Steve, Stef, Erika, and Luis sitting around on the couch talking for awhile. “Hey, Aunt Charlene, guess who’s due in three months?” Betsy asked.

When Betsy said that, I racked my brain trying to figure out who might be doing three months. I definitely had a hard time figuring it out; there was no one I could think of that might be going to jail. Aunt Charlene was obviously thinking the same thing. I don’t know, Lizzie. Who’s going to jail for three months?” Aunt Charlene asked, eyeing Betsy. “I think that you’re just going to have to tell me who’s going to prison for three months.”

Betsy laughed when she realized what Aunt Charlene was thinking. She then revealed the answer, smirking as she did. “The Easter Bunny,” she said like it was obvious.

Aunt Charlene’s eyes widened. “But, you said doing.”

“Maybe I should have said coming,” Betsy said.

“Of course!” Easter in April this year,” I said.

“Exactly!” Betsy said.

Aunt Charlene’s jaw dropped when she heard that. “That sounds like the type of joke that your father would come up with. He probably did too,” Aunt Charlene said, laughing at the joke.

The conversation continued along those lines for a few hours. At seven o’clock, we decided to go though. I went over to hug Stefanie goodbye. “Good luck in Taiwan,” I told her.

“Thanks. And, Amanda?” she said.

“Yeah?”

“The problem you’re dealing with right now is going to work out,” Stefanie said with absolute certainty. “I’m not sure how, but I know that it will work out for you and Lizzie.

“I hope you’re right,” I said. As we headed back, I tried to come up with any possible way for me and Betsy to reconcile with Kevin and Joe. We couldn’t just let Allison and Zora remain in their respective relationships with the boys, not when neither of us happened to be over the boys. I loved Kevin and Betsy loved Joe. There had to be some way for Kevanda and Jetsy to come back into existence, and a way for Kallison and Jora to cease to exist.