These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

I was walking around the mall with Ali and Craig‘s daughter Leila. She’s the sweetest little girl.

“Chessy?” Leila asked.

“Yeah munchkin?” I asked her.

“Are you and Ali best friends?” she asked.

“Yes we are Leila,” Ali replied, “Chelsea’s the coolest loser ever.”

“And Ali’s my Irish beaner,” I told her.

Leila smiled when she saw the play area. “Ali! Can we play there?” she asked.

Ali nodded and the three of us walked over to the play area. Leila took her shoes off and started playing on everything. Ali and I sat down and watched.

“She’s so adorable,” I told Ali.

“Yeah,” Ali said.

“I guess Craig can make cute babies, eh?” I asked.

She shook her had at me. “I wonder about you,” she said.

“Eh, everyone does,” I said as my phone rang.

So breath in so deep. Breath me in I’m yours to keep. And hold on to your words because talk is cheap. And remember me tonight when you’re asleep…

I grabbed my phone and answered it. “Ello?” I asked.

“Hey baby,” Max said.

“Hey Max. What’s up?” I asked.

“Eh, same shit different day. You?”

“Hanging out with Ali. She’s watching Leila and we’re at the mall. Leila’s playing right now.”

“Fun fun,” he said, “Oh Craig wants to talk to Leila.”

“Okay.” I looked for Leila when she ran over. “Hi!” she said smiling.

“Hello,” I said, “Daddy wants to talk to you.”

“Yay daddy,” she said.

I handed her the phone and said, “Stay here with it.”

She nodded and sat down as she started talking to Craig. “Hey Chelsea,” Ali started, “Wanna hang out tonight? The guys are having a guy’s night out.”

“Sure. We’re watching Leila?”

She nodded. “I just have to get her to bed and we can hang out downstairs and watch movies.”

“Alright. That works,” I said when Leila handed me my phone.

“Max wants to talk to you,” Leila said before running off to play.

I put my phone to my ear and asked, “Hello?”

“Hey again,” Max said.

“Hey again yourself.”

“So, how’s my favorite girl?”

I smiled. “Good. You?”

“Tired. I couldn’t sleep last night. I have no idea why either.”

“I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s fine Chelsea. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight. I could use some company.”

“I can’t. Ali wanted me to go over to her house tonight and hang out. I’m sorry.”

“Chelzers,” Ali said.

“Eins Minute Max,” I said I looked over at Ali and covered up the mouthpiece. “Was ist es?”

“Go on ahead and hang with him. I won’t mind,” she said.

“I already promised that I’d hang with you,” I told her.

She shrugged as Leila ran back over to us. I uncovered the mouthpiece and said, “Ya still there Max?”

“Yep,” he replied.

“Hey. I won’t be going over to Ali’s until later. How about I hang out with you for a bit and then go over to Ali’s,” I suggested.

“Wait a minute Chelzers!” Ali said.

I looked over at her. “What?” I asked.

“You do realize that the guys live with me now, right?” she asked.

Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Well damn. “Oh yea. I guess I forgot,” I replied.

“Forgot what?” Max asked as Ali shook her head at me.

“That you guys live with Ali now,” I replied feeling like an idiot.

He chuckled. “Wow Chelsea. Wow,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he said.

“I’m just that good,” I told him.

“That’s what she said,” Ali said.

I rolled my eyes. “Hey Chelsea, I’ve got to go. Craig’s giving me a look that says that if I don’t get off the phone he’s gonna take it from me and hang it up. Bye baby,” Max said.

“Okay baby. Bye,” I said before hanging up my phone.

“Did Chelzers have to hang up?” Ali asked.

I nodded. “Come on. Let’s head out. I want to stop by my house for a bit. Mom says I don’t hang out much at the house anymore and that I need to spend a few hours there,” I told her.

She nodded. “Come on Leila! We have to go,” Ali said to Leila.

Leila ran over to us and put on her shoes before we left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was upstairs in my room listening to whatever was playing. I’m not really sure what it is actually. Oh well.

I started doodling when my phone rang an unfamiliar ring tone. I grabbed it and slid it open. I put it on speaker phone and asked, “Hello?”

It was silent. “Okay, you know you can say something,” I said annoyed.

It was silent for a while longer when whoever it was hung up. “What the fuck?” I asked myself as I slid my phone shut. I went back to doodling when Tom’s ring tone sounded through my room. I grabbed my phone and slid it open. “Ello?” I asked.

“Hey Chelsea,” Tom said, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just hanging out at home. Mom said that I had to hang out here for a few hours before I could go back over to Ali’s. We’re hanging out later tonight,” I replied.

“Ah,” he said, “Sound fun.”

“Yep. We’re gonna watch movies and all that good junk.”

“Fun,” he said when he sighed. “Kat’s coming over.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. Really I was.

“Eh. It’s okay. I don’t love her, yet I’m just too shallow to dump her.”

“How are you too shallow?”

“Trust me, you don’t want me to tell you.”

“Try me.”

He sighed again. “I don’t love her, but she’s amazing in bed.”

I face-palmed myself. “Wow Tomi. Wow.”

“Was? You basically made me tell you.”

“I did not! I didn’t have a gun to your head and demand you to tell me. I just said “try me.” Totally different,” I said.

He chuckled. “True.”

“Does she know you don’t love her?”

“I think so. I think she thinks I’m cheating on her. I may be somewhat of a player, but I don’t sleep around when I have a girlfriend.”

“I believe you Tomi.”

“It’s just, she basically throws herself at me. If she were to play a little hard to get, I’d like that. I like a challenge. But when you have someone who basically throws themselves at you, you wonder just how easy they are.”

I nodded. “I totally see where you’re coming from.”

“You’re not like that with Max, are you?”

“What? Hell no. I’m a little apprehensive when it comes to that. The reasons are my own.”

“Ah. Understandable. Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Yeah. Whether I answer it or not depends on who personal it is.”

“I know this is probably none of my business, but are you a virgin?”

I closed my eyes and shook the images out of my head. “No,” I replied shakily.

“Chelsea?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Ya-yeah.”

“Are you sure? You sound upset. Please don’t tell me it was because of what I asked. I’ll feel really awful about it.”

“Tom, it’s nothing,” I replied, my eyes watering up.

“Chelsea, it’s something. I can tell. You sound close to crying.”

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay?’

He sighed. “Okay. I won’t make you. But you know you can always talk to me about anything, right? That’s what friends are for.”

“Not when it’s something like this,” I thought to myself, “Okay Tomi. Well, I have to get ready for Ali’s. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Alright Chelsea. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay Tomi. Buh-bye.”

“Bye.”

I slid my phone shut and sat it down when the tears that were threatening to fall suddenly did. I wrapped my arms around myself as my body shook. I sat there for a while when I felt another pair of arms wrap themselves around me. I looked to see that they were tattooed. The one tattoo I noticed was the “Halloween” one on the knuckled. I turned in my seat and threw my arms around my big brother.

“What’s wrong sis?” Frank asked.

I shook my head. “Just bad memories Frankie,” I replied.

He hugged me. “Don’t worry. He can’t get you. I promise.”

I cried into his chest as he comforted me. “Come on. Let’s get you ready for Ali’s okay?”

I nodded and we stopped hugging. He ran his thumb underneath my eyes and said, “There. Much better. Now. Let’s get you ready, okay?”

I nodded and I, with Frank helping, gathered stuff up to go to Ali’s.