These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

“I’m sorry,” I said as I laid on the floor of the waiting room in Craig’s arms.

“Stop saying that,” he said playing with my hair.

“I am Craig,” I said wrapping one arm around his stomach.

“No you are Ali baby girl,” he said laughing.

I started thinking of Ronnie, “I will be right back,” I said getting up and walking off.

“I want to talk to you,” Max said standing in front of me.

“Max move,” I said as my eyes watered up.

“No we are going to talk,” he said not moving.

“MOVE!” I screamed in his face pushing him back as the tears drained out of my eyes. I felt his arms wrap around me, “Let go of me!” I cried slash screamed.

“No,” he whispered in my ear, “We are going to talk now,” he said picking me up and walking outside.

“What!?” I said as he put me down.

“I want to talk,” he said sitting down on the concrete.

“About what?” I said turning away from him.

“Stuff,” he said pulling me down on his lap.

“What stuff, Max? I don’t have time for this,” I said trying to get up.

“You have all the time in the world for me,” he said wrapping his arms around me so I had to stay there.

“Okay what stuff?” I said looking back at him.

“Remember that one time,” he began.

“Max, I don’t want to talk about stuff like that,” I said as the tears started to come back.

“Just listen,” he sighed, “Remember that first time you met Craig?”

I laughed remembering seeing him with that
goofy hair cut, the skinny jeans and the cut off grey shirt , “Yeah,” I smiled.

“Remember how you wouldn’t let go of my hand because you thought he was cute except for his hair?” he said letting go of me.

“Yeah, and this first time he walked up to me he said ‘where’s Max?’”

He laughed at me for a second before saying, “you ran away from him so fast and hid behind Ronnie,” he laughed so hard he started coughing, “And how you told Chelsea you were going to marry him.”

“She said that,” I laughed.

“And what did you say when he first hugged you?” he said as I got up and sat across from him.

“Craig no!” I said running away from him at Vans Warped Tour.

“I want a hug,” he said giving me the said face.

“Fine,” I said giving in, “I am hugging the guy with the goofiest hair cut and the prettiest face,” I thought out loud.

“What?” he said pulling back.

“Nothing,” I said laughing.

“You are pretty too,” he said before walking off.

“Hey wait, I’m never going to see you again,” I said as he walked off.

“You will I promise,” he said blowing me a kiss like a nerd.

“You were such a nerd in you preppy clothes,” Max said laughing at me.

“Hey!” I said hitting him, “remember your surfing phase,” I said laughing.

“Lets go check on Chelsea,” he said kissing me lightly, like Monte would, and helping me stand up. I grabbed his hand as we walked inside laughing about our conversation.

“You okay babe,” Craig said when I walked in.

“Yeah, I think I am good for now,” I said walking over to him.

“Good,” he smiled, “I love you,” he said getting up and hugging me.

“You still have the prettiest face,” I said smiling.

“What?” he said laughing at me.

“Well,” I said as the doctor walked out.

“Uhm she can have visitors now,” he said messing with the chart.

“I’m going to go ahead,” Craig said walking off.

“I will stay here with Leila. I don’t want to see Chelsea like this,” I said kissing him. I walked over to the chair by Leila and she started stirring around and she had something black in her hand, Craig's phone.

“Mommy,” she said looking up at me.

“Hey darling,” I said picking her up and setting her on my lap.

“I love you,” she said getting comfy and falling back asleep.

I knew I shouldn’t go through his phone but I did anyway. He had some texts from Gab I read them.

Gab: Craig she is pretty. That’s your girlfriend?

Gab: I want to meet her (:

Gab: Craig why cant I? I deserve to know who you are bringing into OUR daughters life even if I can’t be there because of work.

Gab: I am not going to ‘steal her’ from you.

Gab: fine I hope you two are happy together I just don’t see why I cant meet her.

I texted back seeing these were from today.

Ali: Gab this is Ali I do want to meet you (:

Gab: Wow the famous Ali. Craig is always talking about you

I smiled at that.

Ali: Really? I wouldn’t expect that I am not that amazing of a person

Gab: he called me all depressed one night because he thought he was going to have to leave you

Ali: I cried so much that night I love him and I have became attached to Leila

Gab: I hope you take good care of her I cant take care of her and balance a job at the same time

Ali: I promise I will

Gab: can I ask you a personal question

Ali: Yeah anything.

Gab: Have you and Craig had sex yet.

Ali: Um no but he has done ‘stuff’ for me

Gab: yeah he told me about that lol

Ali: Well Leila just fell asleep on me I will talk to you some other time.. bye

Gab: bye

I looked up to see Craig still in the room. Ali has idea! I took the phone and looked for the camera on it and took a picture of me and Leila. And set it as the background.

“Babe,” Craig said walking out to me, “Do you want to see Chelsea?”

“Like this, no,” I said as he kissed me.

“You want me to sit out here with you?” he said taking Leila and laying her on the blanket on the floor.

“I guess,” I said bringing my knees up to my chest.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked wrapping an arm around me.

“Why couldn’t Ronnie have done this to me instead?” I sighed, “I mean I just know I could handle it and stand up for myself more,” I said looking over out him.

“I didn’t happen to you because enough have,” he said scooting as close as he could to me, “You lost your parents and you had to put up with him drunk and when he abused you,” he said looking down.

“How did you know about that?!” I said getting mad.

“Calm down, Monte told me.”

“Why did he tell you? I don’t want you knowing certain things in my life,” I said looking away.

“You should trust telling me everything,” he said forcing my face towards him.

“I know,” I said looking down.

“We can start now,” he said looking down for a second, “I am afraid that if I get to close to you that I will lose you.”

I thought for a second, ‘what am I afraid of?’ “I am afraid that I am going to die alone,” I said looking up at him, “And that I’m going to lose you,” I said messing with Tom’s ring he gave me.

“You won’t lose me,” he laughed, “And this is my promise,” he said reaching in his pocket, “I kind of wanted to wait to give you this,” he said handing me a box.

I sat there for a second with the box in my hand, “Then wait,” I said giving it back to him.

“Ali,” he began.

“No I don’t want to rush anything,” I said looking up at him, “And if this is what I think it is,” I sighed, “I am not ready.”

“I’m sorry,” he said looking up at me, “I told Monte I would stay the night here with Chelsea,” he said changing subjects, “I know you don’t like hospitals so you can go home and take Leila or stay with me.”

“I want to stay with you,” I said looking at the hallway to Chelsea’s room.

“You want to go up there now?” he asked standing up. I just shook my head and he picked up Leila and grabbed my hand and we began to take the long walk when he stopped at the beginning of the hallway, “”I do want to be with you forever,” he said before kissing me.

“I want to be with you too,” I said continuing to walk. I was getting ready to say something when Gerard came walking up.

“Ali, can I talk to you?” he said looking at me then Craig, “Alone?”

“Yeah, Ali I will see you up in Chelsea’s room,” he said walking off.

“What?” I said after hugging Gerard.

“Ali I do love you ever since the first day I saw you,” he sighed, “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew Mikey liked you,” he looked down for a second before finishing, “I wish I had a chance with you but, since I don’t I want to be your friend for a long time.”

“Why a long time?” I said giving him a puzzling look.

“Because I don’t know how long I can stand not being with you till I go insane and I want to stay as long as I can.”

“If Craig and I ever end,” I began to cry at that thought, “You are my first choice,” he kissed me lightly, “but, I don’t see it happening anytime soon,” I said hugging him.

“I love you,” he said messing with my hair.

“I love you too Gerard,” I said running a hand trough is black hair.

“Ali,” he said hugging me.

“What?” I said holding back tears.

“I am always here for you,” he said resting his chin on the top of my head.

“I know you are,” I said looking up at him.

“Let’s go see Chelsea,” he said looking down at me. I nodded and we walked to the elevator and waited for it.

We got to Chelsea’s room and I just stood in the doorway. She was asleep so I didn’t want to go in. I stared at the bed and memories hit me.

I walked into my first period class and there was only one available seat by I kid with black hair down to his shoulder and a kid with and another I couldn’t really see his face but he had black hair too.

“Hi,” the kid with longer hair said, “I’m Gerard,” he said motioning me to the seat,.

“Hi I’m uh,” he was cute, “Alejandra Rae Michelle Money,” I said.

“And I am Frank,” the other kid said, “this is my sister Chelsea,” he said motioning a girl over.

If I never would have met them Chelsea wouldn’t be here right now. Then again they brought Mikey to me. He was so sweet. He was also really cute and still is. I love him, Gerard and Craig.

I saw Craig walk over to me, “Babe,” he began, “They said we could sleep in the on call room,” he said putting now awake Leila down.

“I want to go to sleep now,” I said hugging him.