It's Our Last Chance to Feel Again

KATHERINE

The bed squeaked at even the slightest shift in position I made. The faulty light would sometimes flicker on, bringing a bright unnecessary glow to the room despite the switch remaining untouched. The sturdy wooden bedside table had but one flaw; a hole in one of it's leg. A hole small enough to seem harmless, but big enough to cause the table to crumble under too much pressure.

Why did everything have to be imperfect? Why couldn't the walls be free from cracks? Why couldn't there just be one thing, living or dead, that was flawless? Why couldn't there be something that could prove everyone wrong?

A strong wind blew my hair into a frenzy. It's been two nights now since I sneaked out with Jacob. Two nights since I've closed my window. For some reason, I've fooled myself into thinking that the cold was suddenly much more bearable even though it still bit at my skin. No part of me made a move to shut the window. It was silly, but a small voice in my head had convinced me that it didn't matter that I'd probably catch a cold and that I could handle anything because I had something.

I had pondered over what that something was for a while, but I eventually figured out what the voice had in mind: Jacob. I know it's silly: I've just found out his name two nights ago. Yet I somehow couldn't picture myself with anyone else but him. Not even that really cute friend of his that I met not more than 10 minutes ago that had laughed at my ridiculously lame joke.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back on my bed and rested my head on my arms. How was it possible that I could imagine a future with a guy that I met slightly more than a week ago? How was it possible that for the past week, everytime I closed my eyes, I saw his face? How was it possible that I was able to question whether or not I loved him?

Was it even possible that I loved him? I mean, sure, my heart starts beating really fast when I so much as think about him, and my palms get really sweaty when I catch him looking at me. And yeah, I often dreamed about him kissing me, or just being with him. But was that really love? Who's to say that it wasn't just a simple crush?

"Kather- Oh. You're awake."

Turning my head, I found Uncle Jack leaning against the wall, the door wide open. I heaved myself up so that I was sitting upright and shrugged, "I have been for a while now."

Of course I didn't feel a need to bring up the fact that I had managed to sneak out of the window without waking him up. Or that I had seen Jacob and actually talked to him.

He gave a small nod and said, "I'm going to make breakfast."

Instantly, the mental image of a hurt Jacob flashed in my mind and I stopped Uncle Jack just as he was about to leave. "Uncle Jack? Why don't you want me to hand around the giants?"

Uncle Jack stopped dead in his step, and slowly turned around. I rolled my eyes. He was obviously buying time for an answer. "I've already told you. It's for your own safety."

Well, that's bullshit. I rolled my eyes at him, "Is that really the best you could come up with?"

Uncle Jack straightened his posture and stuck out his chest slightly. "Well it's the truth," He huffed.

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. No way was I falling for that. I mean, was that really the best he could come up with?

His shoulders slumped as he let out a long sigh, "It's the truth."

"Maybe. But there has to be more to it than just that," I pointed out, and smirked triumphantly when his facial expression changed.

It took him a while, but he eventually gave in. He pulled out the chair that was tucked in the table and sat on it. "I just don't think that it's in your best interest to be friends with them."

"Okay honestly, I really don't think you're in any position to decide what's in my best interest. And can you please explain why?" I asked him, trying my best to sound polite. Even if he was being incredibly unreasonable, he was still my uncle.

He exhaled noisily through his nose and looked around the room with an uncomfortable expression on his face. "I can't really explain in full detail why you should be staying away from them," He said, and continued when he noticed me about to say something, "I'm not at liberty to say it, but I'll um... I'll try my best to tell you all that I can."

Nodding, I folded my legs so that I was sitting indian style and gave him my full attention.

"The huge people, they aren't exactly related. Some of them really are siblings, but the majority of them are just friends. Wait, no. Some of them aren't even friends. They're just... People with a condition," He explained, and my heart pounded. So I had been right all along. Those huge people were psychos. And that meant that Jacob was a psycho too.

Uncle Jack looked as if he was thinking really hard before continuing, "These guys, they all have this special bond with another person. And I know it might be hard to understand, but these people are pretty much the giants' soulmates and their life."

At that, he made it a point to look me straight in the eye. The moment my eyes met his, I felt my heart plummet. That meant that Jacob had one of those soulmate too. A soulmate who wasn't me. I groaned. Why couldn't I just have let everything be? Why couldn't I just have listened to Uncle Jack and not forced all this information out of him?

"Now you see why I don't want you hanging around them?" Uncle Jack asked, his eyebrows raised in a hopeful manner.

Sighing, I nodded. Why on earth would I want to humiliate myself by continuing to pretend that I actually had a shot with Jacob? Once again, I had set myself up for disappointment. Clearly, I hadn't learned my lesson. And clearly love had an issue with me. Maybe I just wasn't meant to love. My dad left me, my mom hasn't cared for a long time, and no guy has ever given me a second glance.

I faintly heard Uncle Jack's voice as he said, "I'm going to make breakfast."

I nodded dumbly as he left the room. The rusty hinges squeaked in complaint as the door swung shut behind him. I closed my eyes and laid back down. Yet another flaw.

Jacob had someone that meant so much to him that she was comparable to his life. Jacob was probably a whack job. Jacob never looked at me as something more than a friend. So him getting to know me, him bringing me out in the middle of the night to the beach, all of it was just me reading more into him simply being nice?

Turning over so that I was lying on my belly, I began knocking my head on my pillow repeatedly. How could I have been so stupid to think that someone as near perfection as Jacob could actually like me? I punched my pillow and then slumped onto my bed defeatedly.

I looked out the window at the beach. I could still picture Jacob and I together, sitting on the shore while we watch the waves relentlessly crashing onto the beach. All of a sudden, something occurred to me. Immediately, I rolled out of bed and flew out the door of my bedroom. I ran down the hallway and the moment I spotted Uncle Jack making scrambled eggs, I said, "I'll be back really soon. I just remembered that I left something... Somewhere."

Ignoring Uncle Jack's questions, I bolted out the door. Flinching as the cold wind stung my face, I ran in the direction I had seen Jacob and his two friends walk in previously.

Never mind Uncle Jack. I was going to find Jacob, and I was going to get an explanation out of him. A proper one.