It's Our Last Chance to Feel Again

Once again, conversations were going on all around me. This time however, Jacob was beside me, joining the conversation my father and I were having.

"You really don't have any friends?"

I shrugged in reply to his question.

"None?"

His astonished tone got a little on my nerves. As much as I hated attention, sympathy was far worse. Yes, I know: I'm terribly easy to get along with. But there was just something that irked me about having people look down on me, and it made me feel unaccomplished and useless.

"Well, I don't have any good friends, but I've got a few people I talk to. Y'know, the lucky ones," I answered stiffly, adding in a pretty lame attempt at a joke to lighten up my mood.

My answer hadn't been a complete lie. In fact, it wasn't a lie at all. Sure, I didn't have a group of friends I usually hung out with. That didn't mean I've never said a single word to anyone save the teachers. I would speak to some people once in a while. People who either chose to be alone, or like me, who just couldn't socialise normally. And of course, there was always the group of friends I used to hang out with who would make pity conversation once in a while.

"And uh, do... Do you have a, uh... A boyf- A boy that you really like?"

The arm that Jacob had around my shoulders tightened it's grip and I felt Jacob's whole body stiffen.

"You mean in school?" I asked, making sure he wasn't being general. No way was I going to make a fool of myself by admitting that I liked a certain someone who had his arm around me (more than I should) when I didn't even need to.

My dad, who had become just as stiff as Jacob, gave a curt nod, and I shook my head in response. Jacob's grip around my shoulder slackened, and I felt his body relax against mine. With a smirk, he asked, "The guys there just aren't your type huh?"

I shrugged. "Uh, sure."

"So how's life with Daniel and Jess now that they're married?" My dad asked, interrupting Jacob, who was probably thinking of something to say.

"It's alright, I guess. I mean they treat me normal and all, and Daniel's a pretty decent guy. Plus Jess and Daniel both seem to really love each other so as far as I'm concerned, it's all good. Only thing that sucks is I'm always being sent away during summer vacation."

My dad coughed awkwardly at the mention of being sent away, while Jacob had adopted a rather incredulous tone. "What?! Against your will?!"

"Uh, not entirely. I don't really have much of an opinion. I'm actually alright with it," I replied truthfully.

"That's still ridiculous. They have absolutely no rights to do that. No rights at all," Jacob growled, and it may be ridiculous but I couldn't help blushing at his protectiveness towards a simple issue of me being sent away.

"Yeah, but if they hadn't sent me away, I wouldn't be here right now, would I?" I pointed out.

That seemed to stun Jacob into a temporary silence. However, the exact same sentence I said launched my father into a fit. "W-wait a minute. Are you and Jacob together?!"

I looked around for an escape; something to divert my dad's attention. When I realised that Jacob was still in that temporary silence and was therefore not going to be of much help, I did the only thing I could think of. "Oh look! A sausage!"

Grabbing two sausages with my hands, I stuffed them in my mouth despite my already bloated stomach.

"Don't change the topic, Katherine. Are you or are you n-"

"Kat, seriously! Eating again?" Embry laughed, and this time, I was thankful for his annoying habit of poking his nose into the business of others.

And of course, the moment Embry declared that, all attention was once again turned on me and the laughing and teasing commenced. Sure, the immense amount of attention was rather terrifying, but a look at my dad's aggravated face made everything so much better.

-

"Taha Aki watched as Yut's spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred to Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he'd felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapa's throat out. But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened." Billy's voice rang clear, crisp in the late night.

Leaning closer to Jacob, I whispered, "What's this about, again?"

Unlike previously, no one at the table seemed to hear what I said. Billy, undisturbed, continued on, "Taha Aki's anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too vast for the wolf's body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and- before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa- transformed into a man."

"Just listen," Jacob urged, and then turned his attention back to his dad.

"The new man did not look like Taha Aki's body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation oof Taha Aki's spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki's spirit.

"Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body."

I frowned as I looked around the table. Why was everyone paying so much attention? Why were they all taking the story so seriously? I mean, honestly; a spirit occupying a wolf's body? Why was it that I was the only one who looked like what Billy was saying sounded absurd?

"The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quickly set everything right, working again with his people and giving the young wives back to their families. The only change he kept in place was the end of the spirit travels. He knew that it as too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

"From that point on, Taha Aki was more than either wolf or man. They called him Taha Aki the Great Wolf, or Taha Aki the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside.

"Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men's lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her his true spirit wife;. Though he had loved the others, this was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did.

"That is how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of the story..." Billy trailed off, and for a moment, everyone exchanged a few words.

It took a lot, but I managed to keep my mouth shut, preventing any disrespectful noise from being heard. It wasn't that I was disrespectful towards the many different folklore each culture had. It was just that everyone at the table had been so attentive that it seemed like they had actually believed what Billy had been saying.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Jacob looked at me with a huge smile on his face.

I hadn't intended on bursting his bubble, but I suppose when you shrug and reply with a nonchalant, "If you believe in that sort of things, yeah", the cruel popping of a bubble was inevitable.

Jacob's shoulders slumped, and he muttered something that sounded like, "Thought she was smarter".

With the cloud of guilt hanging around me for having already caused Jacob disappointment, I decided not to press him on what he had said, and instead, listened as an old man took Billy's place of telling the story.

-

Jacob was, once again, entertaining the guests. Well, more like entertaining the old man who I now know as Old Quil. I didn't mind it though, because again, my dad was talking to me. I guess he was trying to make up for the past fourteen years, and in all honesty, I didn't blame him. I had just about as many questions for him as he had for me.

"Is Jessica expecting another anytime soon?" He had asked, eagerly awaiting the answer.

That had been a tough one to answer, compared to all his other questions. Pair the fact up that I no longer had the desire to have proper conversations with my mom when Daniel was around with the fact that Daniel was always around, and you'd see my predicament.

My father must have mistook my silence for a 'yes' because he shook his head, "I knew it! She always said that having another would have been way too much to handle, but look at her now! Another child! Although I must say, it's great she's finally giving herself something to occupy her mind with."

His words, as I heard them, were all mashed together, and I slowly had to let my brain pull them apart to make sure that I had heard my father right the first time. "When you say 'she always said', do you mean you've actually been speaking to her?"

My father's eyes widened and a look of guilt crossed his features. So this was why parents loved catching their children red-handed. The look on their faces were hilarious. "Uh... I really don't think I'm in any position to say anything."

I rolled my eyes exasperatedly. "Oh for goodness sakes. Do you have any idea how many times I've heard that stupid line? I don't care about the bloody positions. I just want some damn answers."

"Honestly, Katherine. I'm sure Jess has raised you up to be a much more presentable lady than this." My father's attempt at changing the topic was pretty lame. But I had to admit though- he was a lot better at it than I was.

I remained silent, giving my dad a look that clearly told him I wasn't going to give in to his attempt of distracting me. He sighed and then said, "I've been uh, visiting your mom every year."

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you really expect me to believe that? I think I'd know if my own father came to my house."

"Kat," My dad started, "I've been going over during your summer vacation. Why do you think Daniel and Jess would send you away?"

My eyes bulged, and my mouth went into some sort of spasm. I couldn't help blabbering incoherent words that confused my dad as much as it confused me. After a few weird looks from Jared, Kim and even Claire, I eventually managed to form a proper sentence. Two questions, to be exact. "Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't they let me stay?"

"We decided that it was probably the best for you. We didn't want you to have to see me until we thought you were ready."

The hard look in his eyes and the clenching of his jaw seemed to tell me a different story.

"You wanted me to know, didn't you?" I asked him gently, immediately softened by the thought of my dad wanting me to have known he had always been in my life.

His curt nod brought a smile to my face. He looked at me in the eye and sighed, "Daniel and Jess didn't want any drama."

We both rolled our eyes. "Look how well that's turned out," I chided.

He smiled. "Kat, I'm really sorry for leaving. It's just... Something happened and... I can't believe it's really you."

Abruptly, he pulled me into another hug, making my head spin. "Dad, I'm really sorry to spoil the moment, but could you maybe let go?"

He hesitantly pulled apart, looking at me warily. Then, a look of realisation crossed his face and he laughed, "Is someone embarrassed by the attention she's getting from a simple hug?"

Normally, I would have said something in response. However, the pain in my head hadn't yet subsided, and I was beginning to feel rather sick.

"Kat? Katherine, are you okay?"

The colour of my face must have changed drastically because before I knew it, I was in my dad's arms.

The voices that exchanged worried remarks were heard in the distant part of my brain. All I could focus on at that moment was the incredible pain my body now had to endure.