Forever Lost . . .

i didnt hate him after that, well not for long anyways
i had stayed at the small two story house wedged inbtween shops and other houses,
i'd live happily mending my broken heart, with the help of my friends, working in the salon
i was happy
untill i was a month overdue,
i went to the docters,
they had said that the baby had died inside of me and my body couldnt get rid of it the natral way,
and that if they didnt get it out would i die along with it,
i hadent wanted to get the baby removed,
i had wanted to die too,
and i was ready to die,
one day when i went to the docters to tell them that i refused to have oporation i met some one i was in the waiting room when
i saw a lady limp out of the docters office, and sit next to me i stared at her,
'she stared right back at me and said tartly
take a picture it last longer,
tears started to roll down my cheeks
the heart i thoguht was mended i found was only held to gether with very very thin cotten that was rotting,
then and there in the waiting room i colapsed
not just pyichally but mentaly to
the lady who i came to know as Andrea
was a dance techer (also alot of other things that she qont tell me about) she had broken her leg trying to protect a girl fom rape the docters had said she would never dance again, or walk
dancing was her world, her love her passion her life,
most people laughe at her for it but none the less it was
but the docters had also said she would never walk again and i saw her walk out of the room, supporting me with an arm
she had told me after driving me to my house,
that no matter what happens, no matter how many time a wall falls or has been knocked down you can always, always rebuild it . . . always,
she had gotten me through the real brake down it was thanks to her i had gotten the operation and lived to this, day,
she had tought me how to dance and then asked me to open a dance class, while she went to asia to find someone she was sure would heal her leg,
I having nothing better to do agreed,
Andrea was the geatest friend i had, when she left she took a little bit of my broken but healing heart with her,
it was scary to know that in four months it would be my seventeenth birthday,
it was scary knowing that everyhting that had happend had only happend in one year,
it was scary knowung someone could change so fast in so little time
but i was ready to move on to build my wall to the hightest i could build it,
but then my doom, my fear, my hate, my death appeard
Zev had came back, butthis time,he had come back as
a husband
a father
and with
a wife
a duaghter
he was twenty
happy loving father who had wanted the bests for his kid
loved his wife
he wanted to give her the world
and even though he didnt know it
everyrtime he looked at fay he killed her just that little bit more on the inside,
just enough for her to she would die
Fay had colapesed on her doorstep crying her eyes out clutching her chest, and her belly,
some how she had managed to crawl into her bed room and then
cryed and cyred
thats what she did for the rest of the night

no one knows my secrets no one will ever know,

it seems hard travelling on such a ruogh road that us humans travel on. . .
even though we ourselve chose it but
we'll live
untill we dont want to anymore