I'm Not Crazy
I'm Not Crazy
The grey haired woman smiled at the sight of the dreadlocked man and young girl. The worried frown on the man's face was the only emotion she's ever seen, and a tiny, curious smile on the face of the dirty blonde girl. Her chocolate brown eyes, the unknowing innocence of a child, it did not belong in a place like this. She never asked for the man's name, because he would never answer the ones who did.
He would walk in, the girl's hand in his, nod at her to lead him to his room. They looked so much alike, she didn't have to ask. One glance into his sorrowed eyes, it told the whole story, and yet she longed to know more of the broken family.
To her, they were mysterious. It was always the two of them, the dreadlocked man, and the young girl; no one was ever with them. They would come once a week, every Sunday afternoon at 5:30PM, never a minute early, never a minute late. The man had a troubled air around him, as did the young girl. As they approached the nurse, she knew she had to speak.
"Mr. Kaulitz? I'm sorry, but visitors aren't allowed, he was placed in lockdown this morning, for attempting to attack one of our nurses."
It was all she knew about the pair, their last name, and their love for each other and for him. But she never understood, he has been there many times, refusing to take his medication. It was the only time he spoke during the day, and during the nights, they would hear his strangled cries.
The man looked down at the little girl, and he didn't look up for quite some time. But as he did, the woman saw tears in his eyes. She never knew how much that one hour a week meant to them, and she never will. She looked at them apologetically, their sadness made her feel terrible, but she knew, he was a danger to himself, and others.
"Miss... Please, let us see him. Even if it's only for a minute..." He pleaded softly.
The woman has always been a little too kind hearted, and now was no exception. There haven't been many families where she worked, most people come here once, and never return, so it was rare to see people as dedicated as this, and it was hard to send them home disappointed. She looked around her insecurely, but nodded.
"Okay, but you must promise not to let anyone know." She whispered her English accent still clearly obvious.
The young girls smile seems to expand in size as she heard that, but the woman, still felt paranoid. His room, along with the rest, was down the hall. But he was now at the farthest end, in lockdown. Some people find that as a threat, their biggest fear, and others... Just don't care.
He was one of them. The woman has tried to talk to him, but it's as if he doesn't hear a word, doctors have called him a lost cause, because he has no emotion except for anger, and hurt, he barely knows where he is. The man slowly followed the short, grey haired woman to the darkest room in the building, stopping behind her as she took a key out of her pocket. The two glanced at the door, afraid of the person lurking inside. It was so hard to believe that just a year ago, he promised to smile again.
Now he was in there, completely locked away from the outside world, his daily routine? Waking up, eating breakfast, and being held by nurses to receive medication. It was his daily routine.
There were three locks on the door, each one opened slowly, as they were all rusty from being overused. And then the dark, heavy door swung open, the only things visible, a bed and a tiny window. And on the farthest side, when the nurse stepped aside, they saw the black haired man curled up in the corner.
"I'll be right outside when you need me, love."
She whispered, seeming a bit afraid of the raven haired man himself. As they heard the door close, they loosened up. They were used to this all, but it didn't make the hurt go away. He sat there, looking uneasy, but yet, he seemed lost in her careless state of mind. Tom looked down at his niece and nodded, approaching his brother.
"Bill?"
"The night of death, the pain, and the tears don't matter. The only way is to kill, to seek revenge. The eyes, the world, the face of distrust. The only way- The only way... Is to seek revenge for what is lost. And the way of revenge... Is to kill... And yet, I saw you... I saw you..."
The words he whispered made Tom shiver, the bitter regrets of an illusion. The low tone of his voice, it made him realize how much his brother has suffered. The pity he felt has long since disappeared, and the doctors have told him not to worry, that he was a lost cause. He kneeled down, looking into Bill's bloodshot eyes; Bill's not meeting Tom's for a second.
"I saw you... And you left again. I kept running... no... No, you never looked back..." Tom lingered to touch his shaking hand, and as he did, he felt the thin hand's nails dig into him.
"Bill..." Tom mumbled, pushing Lucy behind him, attempting to shield her. The glint of white in his brother's hair, all said that was a sign of madness, and they all think solitude helps. He flinched as he felt Bill's sharp nails cut through his flesh, a small, twisted smile playing on his pale, faded lips. Something in the chocolate eyes burning into him scared him.
The air of happiness or excitement that used to surround his brother has faded completely, and now, no one will recognize him because there is nothing left of the one he once was. Tom reached out, only to brush Bill's hair out of his face and watch his brother flinch.
"Bill, we're here now..." The tone of Tom's voice was soothing, hoping it would calm the man down. "
T- Tom... It's you..." He whispered, gripping the dreadlocked man's hand tighter. "Tom, I'm not crazy, you have to believe me! You- You just have to, I don't belong here!" As Bill let go of his twin's hand, Tom looked down to see the flesh blood drip from it.
He wanted to believe his brother, it was all he wanted, but everything he did, or attempted to do, for Tom, it was impossible. Never did Bill think of what might happen to his daughter, and it seemed unfair towards her, a child shouldn’t have this kind of life. She already lost her mother, and her father suffered a fate worse than death, or so it seemed.
“I know Bill…” Tom lied, backing away slightly.
As Tom stood up, Bill mimicked him, and then started to shuffle towards him. He was looking at him, his eyebrows raised, the painful memory of a younger Bill doing the same pierced Tom’s heart. Fear and paranoia crept up in the back of Tom’s mind, telling him to take a step backwards. Listening to his head instead of his heart for once, he did, not knowing that it would upset Bill even more.
Bill moved quickly, it was unnatural. Tom wasn’t fast enough for the ice cold hand that suddenly grabbed his shirt.
The girl behind him gasped sharply out of fear, following her uncle’s. The nails dug into him again, the same feeling of pain rushing through him like only minutes before him. Bill’s eyes were huge, anger burning inside of them.
“You don’t believe me do you?!” He screamed angrily. Tom gripped Bill’s hand in his, trying his hardest to get his brother to let him go, there was no way he was going to hurt his brother.
“Bill, no, I- I do! Just let- me – go!” He screamed through gritted teeth. His daughter had started to cry behind him, purely out of fear. It felt like it didn’t happen a minute too soon. The heavy doors swung open as the nurse ran in, followed by another person, an injection ready in his hand.
“We- we heard voices!” She exclaimed, her eyes widening once she looked at the scene in front of her. “Give it to him!”
At her command, the man lunged forward, grabbing Bill, attempting to get him off of his twin. He was stronger than he looked, and once Bill let go of Tom, the man shoved the injection into Bill’s back in one quick movement. The drugs started to work seconds later as the black haired man seemed to calm down instantly, a dreamy look appearing on his face. Relaxing a bit, the nurse turned to the man and young girl, a slight frown forming on her face.
“I’m sorry… But I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She said quietly. Tom walked over to his niece who now sat in the corner; he put his arms around her to stop her from shaking. She smiled up at him as he took her hand caringly.
“He’s going to be fine.” He reassured her in a quiet voice. She let go of his hand just for a minute, running to her father. She only gave him a quick hug before running back to her uncle. Tom sighed hopelessly.
“Goodbye Bill.” He said, walking out of the room, glancing back at his estranged brother.
They walked to the car in silence as always, Tom unlocked the door as she hopped in innocently. His wife had sat in the car, waiting for them to return patiently.
“How did it go?” She asked, almost in a whisper, a worried look on her face.
Tom didn’t answer. He didn't have to. There were no more secrets between them, she knew what had happened, as it did each time. Tom started the car wordlessly, without glacing back. He shook his head one last time, nothing could make him turn back this time.
He would walk in, the girl's hand in his, nod at her to lead him to his room. They looked so much alike, she didn't have to ask. One glance into his sorrowed eyes, it told the whole story, and yet she longed to know more of the broken family.
To her, they were mysterious. It was always the two of them, the dreadlocked man, and the young girl; no one was ever with them. They would come once a week, every Sunday afternoon at 5:30PM, never a minute early, never a minute late. The man had a troubled air around him, as did the young girl. As they approached the nurse, she knew she had to speak.
"Mr. Kaulitz? I'm sorry, but visitors aren't allowed, he was placed in lockdown this morning, for attempting to attack one of our nurses."
It was all she knew about the pair, their last name, and their love for each other and for him. But she never understood, he has been there many times, refusing to take his medication. It was the only time he spoke during the day, and during the nights, they would hear his strangled cries.
The man looked down at the little girl, and he didn't look up for quite some time. But as he did, the woman saw tears in his eyes. She never knew how much that one hour a week meant to them, and she never will. She looked at them apologetically, their sadness made her feel terrible, but she knew, he was a danger to himself, and others.
"Miss... Please, let us see him. Even if it's only for a minute..." He pleaded softly.
The woman has always been a little too kind hearted, and now was no exception. There haven't been many families where she worked, most people come here once, and never return, so it was rare to see people as dedicated as this, and it was hard to send them home disappointed. She looked around her insecurely, but nodded.
"Okay, but you must promise not to let anyone know." She whispered her English accent still clearly obvious.
The young girls smile seems to expand in size as she heard that, but the woman, still felt paranoid. His room, along with the rest, was down the hall. But he was now at the farthest end, in lockdown. Some people find that as a threat, their biggest fear, and others... Just don't care.
He was one of them. The woman has tried to talk to him, but it's as if he doesn't hear a word, doctors have called him a lost cause, because he has no emotion except for anger, and hurt, he barely knows where he is. The man slowly followed the short, grey haired woman to the darkest room in the building, stopping behind her as she took a key out of her pocket. The two glanced at the door, afraid of the person lurking inside. It was so hard to believe that just a year ago, he promised to smile again.
Now he was in there, completely locked away from the outside world, his daily routine? Waking up, eating breakfast, and being held by nurses to receive medication. It was his daily routine.
There were three locks on the door, each one opened slowly, as they were all rusty from being overused. And then the dark, heavy door swung open, the only things visible, a bed and a tiny window. And on the farthest side, when the nurse stepped aside, they saw the black haired man curled up in the corner.
"I'll be right outside when you need me, love."
She whispered, seeming a bit afraid of the raven haired man himself. As they heard the door close, they loosened up. They were used to this all, but it didn't make the hurt go away. He sat there, looking uneasy, but yet, he seemed lost in her careless state of mind. Tom looked down at his niece and nodded, approaching his brother.
"Bill?"
"The night of death, the pain, and the tears don't matter. The only way is to kill, to seek revenge. The eyes, the world, the face of distrust. The only way- The only way... Is to seek revenge for what is lost. And the way of revenge... Is to kill... And yet, I saw you... I saw you..."
The words he whispered made Tom shiver, the bitter regrets of an illusion. The low tone of his voice, it made him realize how much his brother has suffered. The pity he felt has long since disappeared, and the doctors have told him not to worry, that he was a lost cause. He kneeled down, looking into Bill's bloodshot eyes; Bill's not meeting Tom's for a second.
"I saw you... And you left again. I kept running... no... No, you never looked back..." Tom lingered to touch his shaking hand, and as he did, he felt the thin hand's nails dig into him.
"Bill..." Tom mumbled, pushing Lucy behind him, attempting to shield her. The glint of white in his brother's hair, all said that was a sign of madness, and they all think solitude helps. He flinched as he felt Bill's sharp nails cut through his flesh, a small, twisted smile playing on his pale, faded lips. Something in the chocolate eyes burning into him scared him.
The air of happiness or excitement that used to surround his brother has faded completely, and now, no one will recognize him because there is nothing left of the one he once was. Tom reached out, only to brush Bill's hair out of his face and watch his brother flinch.
"Bill, we're here now..." The tone of Tom's voice was soothing, hoping it would calm the man down. "
T- Tom... It's you..." He whispered, gripping the dreadlocked man's hand tighter. "Tom, I'm not crazy, you have to believe me! You- You just have to, I don't belong here!" As Bill let go of his twin's hand, Tom looked down to see the flesh blood drip from it.
He wanted to believe his brother, it was all he wanted, but everything he did, or attempted to do, for Tom, it was impossible. Never did Bill think of what might happen to his daughter, and it seemed unfair towards her, a child shouldn’t have this kind of life. She already lost her mother, and her father suffered a fate worse than death, or so it seemed.
“I know Bill…” Tom lied, backing away slightly.
As Tom stood up, Bill mimicked him, and then started to shuffle towards him. He was looking at him, his eyebrows raised, the painful memory of a younger Bill doing the same pierced Tom’s heart. Fear and paranoia crept up in the back of Tom’s mind, telling him to take a step backwards. Listening to his head instead of his heart for once, he did, not knowing that it would upset Bill even more.
Bill moved quickly, it was unnatural. Tom wasn’t fast enough for the ice cold hand that suddenly grabbed his shirt.
The girl behind him gasped sharply out of fear, following her uncle’s. The nails dug into him again, the same feeling of pain rushing through him like only minutes before him. Bill’s eyes were huge, anger burning inside of them.
“You don’t believe me do you?!” He screamed angrily. Tom gripped Bill’s hand in his, trying his hardest to get his brother to let him go, there was no way he was going to hurt his brother.
“Bill, no, I- I do! Just let- me – go!” He screamed through gritted teeth. His daughter had started to cry behind him, purely out of fear. It felt like it didn’t happen a minute too soon. The heavy doors swung open as the nurse ran in, followed by another person, an injection ready in his hand.
“We- we heard voices!” She exclaimed, her eyes widening once she looked at the scene in front of her. “Give it to him!”
At her command, the man lunged forward, grabbing Bill, attempting to get him off of his twin. He was stronger than he looked, and once Bill let go of Tom, the man shoved the injection into Bill’s back in one quick movement. The drugs started to work seconds later as the black haired man seemed to calm down instantly, a dreamy look appearing on his face. Relaxing a bit, the nurse turned to the man and young girl, a slight frown forming on her face.
“I’m sorry… But I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She said quietly. Tom walked over to his niece who now sat in the corner; he put his arms around her to stop her from shaking. She smiled up at him as he took her hand caringly.
“He’s going to be fine.” He reassured her in a quiet voice. She let go of his hand just for a minute, running to her father. She only gave him a quick hug before running back to her uncle. Tom sighed hopelessly.
“Goodbye Bill.” He said, walking out of the room, glancing back at his estranged brother.
They walked to the car in silence as always, Tom unlocked the door as she hopped in innocently. His wife had sat in the car, waiting for them to return patiently.
“How did it go?” She asked, almost in a whisper, a worried look on her face.
Tom didn’t answer. He didn't have to. There were no more secrets between them, she knew what had happened, as it did each time. Tom started the car wordlessly, without glacing back. He shook his head one last time, nothing could make him turn back this time.