I Smoked Pot And Nobody Died

When I got home, Michael wasn’t there yet. I was still crying my eyes out and really had no idea what to do with myself.

In moments of extreme vulnerability, people will return to the lowest levels of maturity to cope with the emotional strain. Adults will loose their well-balanced state of mind and cry for their mothers. Teenagers who act like they own the world will hide under their blankets like a child trying to escape a bad dream.

When I was little, I was terrified of storms of any kind and I spent many nights curled up in the bathtub. It was the only room with no windows, the only place I was safe.

And now, when my world was collapsing around me, I found myself curled up in the corner of the bathtub, clutching my knees to my chest and trying desperately to hold myself together.

What had I done? What kind of mess had I made?

I'd ruined everything. I'd made a big mess. The one thing in my life that made me truly happy, the one thing that took the sting off of my impending wedding to my best friend, and I had thrown it away.
And why? Because I didn't have the balls to admit to the man that made my life complete that I was already betrothed to the man that had been there my whole life.

I had never considered myself a bad person, but after what I'd done to Tom, I was confident in the fact that I was a horrible person.

''Jules?'' I heard Michael call. ''Jules?''

I heard him open and close my bedroom door and then he appeared in the bathroom. I looked up at him and he looked back at me with the eyes of a concerned big brother.
He walked over and got in the bathtub with me. Michael wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. I sobbed helplessly against his chest.

''What happened?'' he asked softly.

''He-hates-me.'' I choked out.

''I'm sure he doesn't hate you; he's just upset.''

''He-couldn't-even-look-at-me!''

''Well you lied to him, broke his heart, what did you expect?'' Count on Michael not to beat around the bush. ''But I know for a face that he doesn’t hate you.''

''Michael, I screwed this up so bad. He was furious, he hates me.'' I had stopped sobbing but tears were still running down my face.

''Jules, if he hates anyone it's me for taking you away from him.'' My best friend said softly.

''I really hurt him Michael. He's not going to forgive me for this.'' I said.

''He's just mad; he needs time me to cool off. I'm sure he'll come around.''

''You didn't see his face.''

*~Tom's Point of View~*

''Tom I-''

''Get out!'' I yelled.

The second Jules was out of my apartment I slammed the door. I fell back against it and slid to the floor, burying my face in my hands.

The sob I had been fighting from the minute I heard the word 'fiancé' escaped my throat and lead the way for several more.

It felt like my heart was in a vice that was squeezing it as someone smashed away at it with a sledgehammer.

I couldn't think straight; angry sadness clouded my mind. I couldn't focus on anything other than the one thought running in circles in my mind.

She lied to me. Jules lied.

I'd never fallen so hard in my life, never let anyone in like that before and now I was remembering why.

When I was with Jules, I had felt like I could do anything. She made me want to be the romantic boyfriend type instead of the gets-all-the-girls rock star. She made me want to be with just one girl.

Worst of all, she made me love her. God, how I'd loved her.

But then, she'd ruined everything. She'd ripped it all out from under me. How could she be engaged?

She was everything to me, but someone else was everything to her.
My heart was in my throat; I couldn't breath. It hurt so bad…

''Tom?'' Bill called from the other side of the door as he knocked. I stood up and wiped away my tears with my sleeve before opening the door.

''What happened?'' my brother asked concernedly.

''She lied!'' I tried desperately to cover my hurt with an angry façade.

''About her fiancé?''

''About everything! I loved her and everything she ever told me was a lie'' I told him, my anger not lasting.

''I don't think everything was a lie.'' Bill said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

''What?''

''I saw her in the elevator. You should have seen her face.''

''She's probably just feeling guilty. Besides, why would she lie about one thing if everything wasn't a lie?'' I buried my face in my hands. ''Why didn't she just tell me?''

''Maybe she didn't tell you because she didn't want to see you like this.''

''Why would sh-''

''Because she loves you.''