I Smoked Pot And Nobody Died

''Jules? Are you up?'' Michael asked softly as he opened my door.

''Yes.'' I answered monotonously, staring at the wall.

''I made breakfast for dinner.'' He told me, coming to sit on my bed.

''I'm not hungry.'' I said in that same emotionless tone.

''You haven't eaten in two days.''

''That's not true, I had that milk yesterday.''

''You're going to die; come eat some eggs.'' Michael said firmly.

I reluctantly got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. I wasn't wearing anything but one of Michael's t-shirts. Changing out of my party dress was the only thing he'd been able to get me to do since Saturday night when I had moved from the bathtub to my bed.
I hadn't eaten and I had slept maybe two hours total.
It was Monday night.

When Michael had woken up this morning to the sound of me crying again, he called us both in sick and stayed home to take care of me.

Despite the fact that I hadn’t eaten in two days, I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel much of anything.

Saturday night at Tom's kept playing over and over in my head. Every time, his voice got louder. Every time, his face got sadder. Every time, I cried harder.

It wasn't like me to react like this. I'd been dumped before and I survived and I knew that my life would go on, but I had never loved anyone as much as I loved Tom. It was like he was a part of me and it hurt me to know how badly I'd hurt him.

It'd been two days since he found out, since our fight and there had been nothing. He hadn't called to say that we needed to talk, hadn't texted to tell me to find a new job, nothing.
He hated me, I was positive. Soon enough I would get a call from Mr. Henry telling me that I'd been removed from the Tokio Hotel security team.

''Thanks.'' I said when Michael put a plate of food in front of me.

''How are you feeling?'' he asked.

''Do you remember that time we were in your dad's truck and that bird hit the windshield?'' he nodded. ''I'm the bird.''

''Come on Jules, you're tougher than this. The Jules I knew would never be the bird.'' Michael said encouragingly.

''The Jules you know never felt that way about someone before.'' I replied.

''I know babe.'' He kissed the top of my head and let me eat.

Me entire plate was empty in a matter of two minutes. Maybe I was hungry.

''Do you think he'll ever forgive me?'' I asked Michael.

''I know he will.'' He said.

''How do you know?''

''Because he loves you.''

*~Tom's Point of View~*

I dropped the last of my dinner into the garbage. I wasn't hungry and it tasted like cardboard. Everything did lately.

I hadn't left my house in two days, but I didn't really care. There was nowhere to go anyway.

After Saturday night, I'd felt like absolute shit. I'd cried for hours that night.
I hadn't cried over a girl since I was six and she pushed me off my swing and into the dirt at the park.

I heard my door being unlocked and I furrowed my eyebrows. I wasn't expecting anyone.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked when Bill came through the door.

''I'm out of juice.'' My brother replied simply.

I went to the living room and flopped onto the couch. I turned on the TV and began to flip idly through the channels.

''You wanna go out tonight?'' Bill asked from the kitchen.

''Don't feel like it.'' I told him.

''You wanna come over and watch a movie?''

''No.''

''Come over and work on some music?''

''No.'' Bill came over and sat on the couch. He snatched the remote from me and shut off the TV.

''I was watching that.'' I muttered.

''Tom, you have been sulking for days, you need to quit it already.'' He said firmly.

''Bill, I've never been so hurt in my life, I'm allowed to sulk.'' I replied.

''Yea, and you've been doing just that for two days, you need to get over it.''

''I'm not going to just 'get over it', I love her so much.''

''You mean you loved her?''

''What? Yea, loved.''

''Tom Kaulitz, you are head over heels for that girl. Don't even try and lie to me.'' Bill said, not leaving room for me to argue.

''I am.'' I sighed.

There was no way Bill could have been more right. I loved Jules with everything I had. I loved her so much it hurt.

Without her, food had no flavour, colours were grey.
I missed having her next to me. I missed waking up with her in my arms. Hell, I even missed having her hair in my face when she fell asleep on top of me.
My bed was cold without her. My life was empty without her.

I didn't just want her back, I needed her back.

''Now that we have an understanding, you have to tell her that you didn't mean it.'' Bill said.

''I can't go now, what if she doesn't even want to see me? She's probably dead inside.''

''You are aware she's getting married right?''

''Yea?''

''If you want her as much as you say you do, you better get your ass over there now. She's engaged to this guy for a reason. If you want her to change her mind you have to act now.'' Bill said, making another irrefutable point.

Without a reply, I got up and put on my shoes. I was in my car and on my way to her apartment in minutes. I couldn't loose her because I was a dick.

I didn't have time to wait for the elevator when I got to her building. I raced up the stairs and down the hall to her apartment.

I knocked on the door.