I Smoked Pot And Nobody Died

*Re-post, read the author's note*

There were so many words that could be used to describe the relationship between Tom and I.
Passionate, sarcastic, romantic, friendly, forbidden, accepted, an emotional roller coaster to say the least.

''Stop it!'' I giggled when Tom began to tickle me.

''Why?'' he asked playfully.

''Because I'm trying to do my job.'' I attempted a serious tone, but it was virtually impossible at the moment.

''Yea, because I need so much guarding in the van.'' Tom replied sarcastically.

''You never know, someone could try to shoot you through the window and I might have to take a bullet for you.''

''I know something else you could take for me.'' Tom said suggestively.

''You know you're not alone in this car right?'' Owen asked from the driver's seat.

''Or in this seat.'' Bill added. The three of us were sitting together in the back of thee van.

''Sorry.'' I grinned.

We had just left a photo shoot and Owen and I were taking Bill and Tom back to their apartments.

Tom and I sat with our hands in our laps like little children who had just been scolded by their mother.
At least, we did until Tom's hand rested on my knee and began to make its was up my thigh.

''Stop it!'' Bill said, slapping Tom's hand away.

When we pulled up in front of Tom's building, the two of us hopped out of the van.

The buzz about our relationship had died down considerably over the past few weeks so there were no longer ten photographers waiting outside the building.
I figured that now that our relationship wasn't as new and exciting as before, it would only be matter of time before the rumours started.

When we got inside Tom's apartment, I locked the door and turned to my boyfriend. I put my arms around him and he did likewise.

''It's so good to be-'' he started.

''Alone?'' I offered. We'd been surrounded by people all day.

''Together.'' Tom smiled before kissing me gently on the lips.

''Finally.'' I sighed.

Though what we were saying was in reference to being around people all day, I found that it also related to our whole relationship. There had always been people around, dictating, although indirectly, what our relationship had to be.

Tom and I had met by chance, but it was pure fate that I ended up working for him within the next few days.

From the minute we kissed behind that club, it was set in stone that we were meant to be together.
I was engaged, Tom wasn't the type to have just one girl. We were on opposite ends of the spectrum and that's probably what brought us together. They do say that opposites attract.

We'd always wanted each other; it was waiting for one of us to give in to that want that killed us both.

But when it did happen, it was an explosion of lust and desire. We both knew that it was blossoming into something else, but only I knew why it wasn't allowed to.

I loved Tom and he loved me, but I was supposed to love Michael. The heart wants what it wants though, and my heart wanted Tom.

When we'd first started hooking up, before our feelings became something more than lust, it had been my plan just to sleep with Tom for a while and then break it off before my wedding, never telling Tom about my wedding.

Looking back on that, I could see how much of a mistake I made by not telling him right away. I wasn't even sure of my reasons anymore, because I knew that most of the ones I had given were totally bogus.

The reason I didn't want to tell Tom about my wedding was that I was afraid that, if he knew he was helping me be unfaithful, he wouldn't want me anymore.
At the time, I didn't know why I was afraid of losing him, but now I know it was because part of me had always loved him.

When Tom had found out the hard way though, it had damn near killed me. The look on his face alone made me want to die.
I thought I'd lost him forever and if I'd lost him I'd lost virtually everything.

And feeling that sense that I'd just lost everything was what gave me the courage to stand in front of those people in the church and say no.
I thought I'd lost him once, I wasn't going to lose him again over something as stupid as people pleasing.

When Tom had taken me back with open arms and eager lips, it was like everything had fallen back into place in my life.

To say the least, our relationship had been a roller coaster of emotions that started with lust and ended with love.

''Tom Kaulitz put me down!'' I shrieked when Tom threw me over his shoulder.

''If you insist.'' Tom said before dropping me onto the couch. He laid on top of me and grinned.

''Hi.'' I said, my grin mirroring his.

''Hi.'' He gently kissed me lips. I sighed contently.

''I love you Mr. Kaulitz.'' I told him.

''I love you too Ms. Reed.'' He replied with a smile and eyes so loving they could make Hitler join the World Peace Organization.

Our roller coaster had some break neck drops and loops that made you lose your stomach, but I was more than happy to stay on for another ride.

I smiled.

To think, all of this started when I smoked pot, and nobody died.