Tennessee

"Oh, fuck, Mary! He was right there! Right before my eyes!" I complained later that night.
I had met up with Mary at home and we sipped on wine while I complained about my run in with Ben. She nodded heavily as I babbled on and on.

"... But he looked good," I whispered.

Mary shrugged.

"I wish I could tell you something, but I can't. What is there to say?"

"Tell me I'm a horrible ingrate who should be fine with what she has!" I whined.

"Tennessee, what do you want?" she said dryly.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Then neither do I," she replied.



I leaned against my right foot as I looked over the young girl's résumé. She was nervously chewing on a manicured fingernail and looked up at me as if I held the world's power on the palm of my hand.

"Um. You can start in two weeks when the store opens," I said.

I could not for the life of me be mean. The girl whose name was Charlotte, breathed a sigh of relief and gave me a hug.

"You will not regret this!" she chirped.

I nodded. Oh, yeah. I was boss!

I patted Charlotte's shoulder nervously and laughed under my breath. Her deep green eyes held tears as she waved me goodbye; her blond head bobbed up and down as she exited the nearly finished Birds. I sighed and went back to my lavender clipboard.

"Did she have any experience?"

I whirled on my heel and turned to meet him. Ben stood there with a small smile on his face. He wore jeans and an airy band tee. I tried to keep my cool and his eyes met mine for a second too long. I looked at the floor and smirked.

"Well. Everyone needs a chance, right?" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Yes," he said seriously.

I looked up at him and realized the double meaning of my words. I abruptly felt like there wasn't enough oxygen.

"Is it your break yet?" He asked suddenly.

"Um. I get off in-," I glanced at the clock,"-one minute exactly. Perfect timing, Sydney."

"That's what I go for," he said, shrugging nonchalantly.

I smiled a little as I grabbed large leather purse from the back room. I grabbed my keys and followed Ben out.

"I didn't expect you to be running a store, you know. I expected you to have your own line, or whatever," Ben murmured as I locked up the store behind me.

"Well. I don't know. Paul got me this job and I guess I just fell in love with him... IT! I mean it!!" I said, my eyes widened and I slapped my forehead for my sudden stupidity.

Ben laughed nervously but the mirth didn't reach his eyes.

We walked down the street for a few minutes and I cursed at myself for my previous mental lapse.

"Well, um, you wanna get some pizza?" I asked, pointing to a pizza parlor in front of us.

Ben nodded and reached to open the door for me and him.

"Thanks," I muttered as I entered and we sat down in a booth and waited for a waitress to reach us. Ben sat down first and by instinct, I went to sit next to him.

"Oops," I muttered and stopped short in order to sit across the table.

Ben bit his lip like he was trying to say something and I blushed deeply red.

We ordered a pepperoni pizza and waited for our food in awkward silence.

"So, how're your parents?" Ben asked, trying to stamp out the drawn out silence.

"Um, my dad's good," I said feebly and looked around. I didn't want to meet his stare.

"And your mother?" he asked.

I finally found the courage to look him dead in the eye.

"She's dead," I said blankly.

Ben looked like he had been slapped in the face. I gave him a dirty look. I still don't know why I did.

"I'm so sorry. When?" he croaked.

"A year and a half ago. Right after you bailed," I said icily.

Ben flinched.

"Fuck," he whispered.

We stared at each other for a long minute.

"How's your mom?" I asked, dying to change the resentful mood.

"She's good. She's alone, but she's okay," Ben said, his voice still strained.

"Tell her I said, 'Hi,' okay?" I said.

"I will."



Ben Sydney

Tennessee's hazel eyes clouded as we tried for a civilized conversation. My chest hurt, though. Her mother had died and I wasn't there for her. I was gone and I had left her, too. No wonder she hated me.

I missed her so much. I missed how she always wore heels, no matter what. I missed the floral scent of her hair and perfume. I missed her crème skin and auburn locks and the silky dresses she loved. But most of all, I missed seeing her everyday and calling her mine. That was impossible now; she had Paul to do that.

Paul. The only thing in the way. Paul.