Tennessee

I was completing my shift at Birds that afternoon when I got a random phone call. Everyone had gone home and I was locking up and collecting all the receipts from that day. I pressed the phone between my shoulder and ear as I answered, "Hello?"

"Tenn! Tennessee?!"

"Um," was my sharp response.

"Hey! This is Johnny!"

I sighed and smiled. Johnny was Ben's best friend. I grinned as I remembered the past.

"Johnny! Hi," I said brightly.

"Hey, Tenny! Um, this is pretty random but it's Ben's birthday party tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come. I kind of stalked you in the phone book because he wouldn't give me your new number. I think he would really, really like it if you came," he said.
I hesitated before saying, "I really don't that'd be a great idea."

"C'mon. He's turning the big 2-5! You gotta go!"

"Well...Give me the directions," I ended with an exasperated sigh.

I walked down the city streets in search of a feasible gift for Ben. I stopped at the tie section of a department store, I smelled some cologne and as I walked by a record store I decided to buy him a vinyl from his favorite band. I didn't know if he would still like them or if he already had it, but shrugged as I paid a ridiculous amount of money for the record.

I went home to gift wrap it in silver and pink paper and change. My yellow summer dress felt too worn in from my long day and I changed into dark leggings and a simple over sized Smiths tee, along with red peep toe pumps of course.

As I walked out of the apartment, I glanced at the mirror. My freckled face seemed to be bright and my eyes looked excited. I was happy that I was going to see Ben. And that made me feel guilty. But I had tried with Paul, I had genuinely tried. I called him four times and he seemed to be avoiding me. I left voicemail after voicemail and he would never reply. We were disintegrating, crashing and burning.

I shook my head and walked out, ready to have fun.



When I arrived at Johnny's apartment, I was nervous. So nervous in fact, that I hesitated as lifted a perfectly manicured hand to knock on the door. I took it back and began biting my black painted nails. Just as I had plucked up the courage to try again, the door opened and there was Johnny. He seemed to not notice me at first, but when he finally saw me, he broke into a smile.

Johnny was a funny guy. He always was grinning and his shiny blond hair always was in his face.

"Tenny!" He cried and pulled me in the apartment.

I yelped as he hauled me in and thrust me into the party. It was full of people and I reddened as people recognized me and I recognized people. It seemed that Ben's friends (who had once been my own friends) were wondering why I had disappeared off the face of the planet after Ben left. But it was necessary. I had to lick my wounds and come out of the hole I had hidden in for so long.

"Tennessee?"
"Tenn?"
"See?"

Several people rushed over to me and my name had been said enough times for Ben, who had been standing in another room over, to lift his head, drink in hand, and smile. I charily smiled back and waved as I was bombarded with questions.

"Where have you fucking been, Monroe?"
"I'm totally gonna kill you! I missed you, bitch!"
"You gotta tell me where you bought your shoes!"

I smiled back at the people who encircled me.

Luz was one of them. Her dark black eyebrow went up in question when I caught eyes with her and I shrugged. She smiled and came to attack me with a hug.

"I still love you, Tennessee," she said.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," I murmured.

"It's okay. You always come back," she replied.



After a couple of drinks and reconnecting with people, I had found my way to Ben in a dark corner of the party, where he was taking care of the music. He grinned brightly as he bent down to say in my ear, "I'm really, really glad you came."

"You know? I'm really glad I did, too," I said and saluted him with my drink.

He took it out of my hand.

"I think that's enough for you," he said sternly.

"Ben –still protective as ever," I muttered under my breath and handed him over my strawberry margarita.

"You know you love it," he teased and set my drink down on a mahogany table near us.
I smiled and suddenly remembered his present in my purse.

"Oh! Here, I got you something, Benjamin," I chirped, "Happy birthday! You're so fucking old, you're twenty-five. Ancieeent," I sang the last word.

He smiled sarcastically, "Shut up, Miss twenty-two," he said.

I laughed and he took the present from me.

"I wonder what this is?" he said wryly, even though you could tell from the shape of the present exactly what it was.

He gasped as he saw it, "I. fucking. love. you."

"Ah. I knew it," I said as he marveled at the worn record sleeve.

"I was going to get this, too," he said.

He instantly wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you," he said into my hair.

I closed my eyes and remembered the beauty of those words. His breath trickled down my spine and I pulled away, "Well! Great party, have to go now!" I yapped.

Ben rolled his eyes and pulled me back in, "You are so... you," he said.

"I can't help it, you know. What do you want me to do? Say it back?"

"Well, I'd prefer if you did, but what I really want is for you to know," he murmured.

I smiled back and pressed my lips against his cheek and said, "I'll let you know when I feel like it."

And walked out of the party. Yes, I was playing with him a little. Yes, it was fun. And yes, I was scared.