Rules of Attraction

Stephanie walks into the room; hands raised high in surrender and a frown forming on her lips. She looks over at her room mate with a worn out look upon her youthful face. "I am officially swearing off guys from my life as of this moment."

"Why does this not surprise me?" the girl, Maxine, mumbles out from her upside-down position on the couch. "This is your fourth date this month and every time you come home, I hear about how stupid a guy is--"

"Or has no personality."

"Talks too much about himself."

"Said I remind him of his mother, what the hell."

"Completely weird and talked about his rock collection."

Stephanie collapses down next to the other girl and pushes her glasses up, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And now you see my point?"

Laughing, Maxine cranes her neck up so she can see Stephanie more clearly. "I see that you attract losers. Maybe you give off some weird signal that makes them all run for you."

"Wow, you sure do know how to make someone feel better."

"Of course I do.

"Maxine," Stephanie whines and let's her head drop against the back of the plush couch, "I need a break from dating and you're going to help me."

"Help you?" the other girl questions, tiredly.

"Yes. We have to have rules that I have to obey so that I don't date anybody, because, Christ, I'm tired of all the boys in this damn city."

"Rules?"

"Stop questioning me and listen."

Maxine mimes locking her lips and throwing away a key.

Satisfied, Stephanie sighs and starts counting off on her fingers. "No boys. No calling boys. No flirting with boys. Practically nothing to do with boys."

"So, I'm going to be stuck with you and no boys for-- wait, how long is this going to go on for? Please tell me not long because I have guys who are my friends that flirt with you constantly."

Quiet for a moment, Stephanie watches the ceiling fan spin above and thinks. She comes to a conclusion and smirks. "A month."

"A month? Are you crazy? A month?!"

"Maxine, I think you and I will survive."

"I can't believe you're dragging me into this," Maxine groans out and pounds her fists lightly against the material of their couch. “I practically need boys to survive. Without them, well, who knows what will happen.”

Stephanie glares down at her friend and huffs. “Are you going to help or not?”

“Do I really have a choice?”

“Nope.”

“Then I guess I’m helping. Starting--” Maxine lifts her head again and glances at the clock that’s ticking away on the far wall of the living room; the numbers practically screaming ten-thirty. “Now.”

----------

Three days later, days of complete whining from Maxine and self-pride from Stephanie, the two girls find themselves walking down the Las Vegas strip; enjoying the summer heat. At her side, Maxine grumbles quietly about how unfair this is and that that guy from the store was totally going to ask me for my number, this is your entire fault. Stephanie rolls her eyes and tilts her face up towards the sun, letting the rays warm up her skin and glare into her sunglasses.

“I want a smoothie,” Maxine concludes when they cross the intersection, dodging a taxi that nearly hits her. “It’s too damn hot for me not to get one.”

Stephanie contemplates the idea for a second, then nods. “I heard they just opened a Smoothie Hut up a ways. You wanna check it out?”

“As long as it gets us out of this heat. Jesus.”

“Always the one to complain.”

“Always the one to make me suffer.”

Pushing playfully at the other girl, Stephanie laughs loudly and walks through the Smoothie Hut doors. The blast of cold air makes her shiver slightly and behind her, Maxine cheers sarcastically to herself and stalk up to the front counter. In response, Stephanie shakes her head and follows her quietly.

At the counter, a younger girl sends them a friendly smile and bounces up to the register. “Hi! Welcome to Smoothie Hut. What can I get for you?”

Maxine’s tongue pokes out from the side of her mouth as she concentrates, causing Stephanie to snort. “I’ll have a Strawberry Banana-- Steph, what do you want?”

“Strawberry Kiwi.”

The girl grins and pushes at the buttons on the machine. “Okay. Your total is six dollars and seventy cents.”

After hearing the total, Maxine bats her eyelashes at Stephanie and smiles innocently.

“Headaches,” Stephanie mutters, half-jokingly, as she pulls out her wallet and hands the girl a ten. “That is what you give me. Loads and loads of headaches.”

“And three-thirty is your change,” the girl announces and looks over her shoulder, her smile fading at a commotion in the back room. “Brendon! I need you up front to make smoothies!”

There was a crash and a muted, pitiful ow before a lanky boy comes around the corner; rubbing at his elbow with a small pout on his plump lips. He nudges the girl aside with his hip and sighs. “I was on break, Kara. Meaning: Brendon does not make smoothies and sleeps.”

“Just because you’re my big brother and you work with me, doesn’t mean you can boss me around.”

Stephanie sends a look from the corner of her eye, seeing Maxine pursing her lips together; trying not to laugh. Tearing her gaze away from her friend, she looks back towards the front and watches the boy, Brendon; grab a clear cup from the large stack. He looks up and sends Stephanie a breathtaking grin, which has her biting her tongue as she tries to keep the foreign feeling of heat creeping up the back of her neck.

Not to Stephanie’s amusement, Maxine notices and makes a low cat-call under her breath.

“Shut up,” Stephanie seethes and stomps on her friend’s foot.

Maxine’s mouth drops and stealthily rubs her injured foot against the calf of her other leg.

The boy sends Maxine a confused glance, but turns back towards Stephanie while blending the ingredients together. “I’m Brendon.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Brendon smiles, the corners of his dark eyes squinting up. “This would be the part when you tell me your name, you know?”

“Brendon!” the other employee, Kara shouts out and throws a wet towel at him. “Stop trying to pick up the girl and just give her the smoothie already.”

Rolling his eyes and huffing out a breath, he hands over the chilly cup and sends Stephanie a crooked smile.

-----

It’s not until she goes to throw away the empty Smoothie Hut cup when she gets home, Stephanie finds seven digits scrawled along the bottom rim with a sharpied smiley face written next to it.

She can’t seem to find the will to throw it away.

Instead, Stephanie places it on top of her dresser and leaves it.

-----

“Don’t call it,” Stephanie says one night. She stares at the cup that lies across the room and feels her fingers twitch towards her cell phone. She huffs loudly and glares at the cup. “I’m so stupid. It’s only a week and a half into this whole ‘boy-free’ month and some boy is already going to ruin it--” Stephanie pauses and twists her lips up. “He is cute, though. Oh my God, I’m so screwed.”

From the other bed, Maxine looks up from her lap top and raises and eyebrow. “You do know you’re talking to yourself while I’m in the room, right? It’s on the borderline of creepy and insane.”

Stephanie, not resisting the urge to act like a child, sticks her tongue out and collapses back onto her pillows.

Maxine ignores her and continued typing; the constant clicking filling the room. “Just call the damn kid already. I didn’t get any loser vibes from him.”

“Yeah… But what about the agreement?”

“We didn’t sign a contract or anything, just call him.”

“But--”

Looking up and narrowing her eyes, Maxine chucks a pencil at Stephanie’s forehead. “Either you call him or I do and pretend to be you. And you know you do not want that.”

Stephanie sighs and gives her childhood friend a sullen look.

“Do it.”

Getting up, Stephanie glowers down at her and stalks up to the dresser with her cell phone tucked in the palm of her hand. She hesitates at grabbing the cup and looks behind her, jumping at the deathly glare that Maxine is sending her. “Alright, Christ. I’m going to call him. Can you stop trying to kill me with your eyes?”

“Sorry. It’s like an automatic response to when I look at you.”

“Why am I friends with you?”

“You’re stalling.”

Stephanie tries to act shocked; mouth open and eyes wide. “No, I’m not. I’m just trying to-- Yeah, okay, I’m stalling.”

“I will have no regret of killing you in your sleep tonight.”

Scoffing, Stephanie works up enough nerves to punch in the seven digits into her phone. She presses the call button and flips it into speakerphone. Stephanie goes over to Maxine’s bed and sits, gently, down beside her.

The phones rings continuously and Stephanie feels the butterflies in her stomach turn into waves of nausea. “Maybe he gave me the wrong--”

“Brendon Urie’s phone, Jonny Walker speaking. How may we pleasure this evening?”

Stephanie sends Maxine a look and bites her lip. “Yeah. Um. This is Stephanie?”

“Brendon!” the boy on the other line calls out, laughter in his voice when a crash echoes in the background. “Do you know a girl named Stephanie? No? I’m sorry girl-named-Stephanie; he says he doesn’t know you.”

Resisting the urge to groan in frustration at the boy and the girl next to her, who is trying to control her giggles, Stephanie clicks her tongue against her teeth. “Can you tell him I’m the girl from the Smoothie Hut, whom had the cup he wrote his number on?”

There was a commotion from the other line; obviously the phone was being passed around, along with hushed voices. The shuffling stops and a smooth voice rings into the room. “So, you’re name’s Stephanie.”

The said girl smiles and nods, then stops when she realizing he can’t see her. “Yeah.”

“I thought you were never going to call. It’s been, what, about two weeks?”

“Well, I’ve been a little busy.”

“But you kept my number all this time.”

“Yeah--Well--You see--”

Brendon laughs. “I’m just messing with you. It’s cute when you stutter. And believe or not, I normally don’t do this sort of thing. Not big on the whole ‘trying to pick up girls’ thing.”

“Yeah,” Stephanie agrees. “I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. Well, at least lately.”

“You? Having problems dating? Why do I find this hard to believe?”

“You don’t know me,” she laughs, Maxine joining her.

“Well, how about I get to know you over a cup of coffee or something?”

Stephanie looks over at Maxine, noticing the girl giving her a you’re seriously stupid glare and smiles down at the phone. “Yeah. I think I can do that.”

-----

“Well, I’m taking it as I’m not a loser,” Brendon jokes and swings an arm around Stephanie’s shoulder, kissing his girlfriend’s temple “You know since we’ve been dating for, oh, five months?”

Stephanie rolls her eyes and pushes him playfully. “Just because you don’t have a rock collection doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a loser.”

“But I’m your loser.”

“Yes, my cheesy loser.”

Brendon grins and steals a sip of her Strawberry Kiwi smoothie.