Book That Ends With No Last Page

After I said that, we just stared at each other, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that" I said more to myself then him

"No its fine. I'm glad I make you feel that way. What are friends for then to make you feel comfortable? I rather us not be awkward so..."

"Yeah, your right" I whispered

I didn't mean the friend comfort.....

Oh god, I need to see John.

"Addy? You okay? You have a lost look on your face" he said with a light laugh

"Yeah I'm fine" I said with a smile. I just wanted to see John. For some reason I wanted to see him more then ever at the moment.

Me and Jonathan just layed there, not saying anything for roughly 15 minutes.

I knew John would not appreciate me even laying on the same couch as him, but I was just so damn comfy.

Besides, I was thinking of John. I just loved being with that boy. And even some things have been running through my head about Jonathan, I knew John was the one for me. Ive been through to much with and without him.

"Adds, I'm hungry" I heard Kyle mumble and I couldn't help but laugh and Jonathan smiled.

"Ill go make breakfast, or lunch, or whatever. What do you guys want?" I asked as I got off the couch and Kyle sat up, rubbing his eyes as he yawned.

"Lets do lunch" Kyle said as soon as he finished his yawn

"Watcha wanna eat?"

"Lets make grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup. I'm suddenly craving it" He said with a laugh as he stood up.

"Mmmm sounds good" I said as I turned to walk to the kitchen and the guys followed me.

~

After we finished making the food, we sat at the table and ate out lunch.

"Addy, wheres the bathroom?"Jonathan asked as he put down his spoon.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't even give you a tour of the house"

"Its fine"He responded getting up.

"I'm re-decorating the one down here, so you can use the one upstairs. I ts down the hall, you'll see it"

"Alright"

"Do you want me to show you?"

"Nah, its fine, I think I can manage" He said with a laugh and left the kitchen. And as soon as he did Kyle went and said

"Don't fuck up"

"What?"I asked shocked.

"I heard you two talking this morning, and I know you guys were cuddled up on the couch, so Addy, don't fuck up" he said moving his spoon around in his soup as he didn't even look up at me.

"What are you trying to say Kyle?" I asked through my teeth

"Don't do anything you will regret"He said still looking down.

"I love John! I will not cheat on him. Are you crazy!?"

"I know you better then you think"He said simply.

"Okay, fine. You're sort or right something, but I do not plan on hooking up with Jonathan"

"And what am I sort of right about? He asked finally looking up.

"I have been thinking about Jonathan, but I love John more then the world. Hes my everything. I couldn't stand losing him. My life's a wreck without him. I need him. I love him. I would never cheat. And besides I'm planning on telling John whats been going through my head. We promised we would be honest with each other"

"Thats great"Kyle said nodding, approving on the idea.

"ADDY! CAN YOU PLEASE COME UP HERE?!" Jonathan shouted from upstairs and I looked at Kyle and shrugged.

I pushed out my chair and got up and Kyle did the same. I walked up the stairs with Kyle behind me.

As soon as I reached the top, I saw Jonathan standing in the doorway of the room, the baby's room to be more exact...Great...

I walked down the hall and stopped when I reached him

"What the fuck?" He asked shocked

"Whats going on?"Kyle asked as he walked past me to where Jonathan was standing, where he had perfect vision of the nursery.

He looked just as shocked

I just leaned against the wall and started picking off my dark purple nail polish. I didn't really care that they saw the nursery. I just didn't feel like talking about it. But I knew I would have to. Joy.

"Are you pregnant? What the fuck Addy?" Jonathan asked starring at me, wanting answers.

I sighed. "I'm not pregnant" I said and pushed myself off the wall.

"Then why do you have all this stuff?" He asked still surprised as he indicated into the room.

"Well I was pregnant before" I said quietly. His eyes went wide, but Kyle got it.

"Oh"Kyle said with a genuine smile at me. "The room looks really cute"

"John and the guys surprised me with it" I said remembering the day John showed it to me and a smile came across my face.

"Someone wanna fill me in? Pregnant?"

"I lost my baby a while ago Jonathan"I said softly

"What? How?" He asked softly and calmly, giving me sympathy.

I sighed. " I lost my baby when I was eight months along. I tripped down the stairs." I said and my voice got weaker.

"Addy, I'm so sorry" Jonathan said sad. And the look on his face made me want to cry. He was truly sorry for me and it was like he knew what I went through without me having to tell him the whole story. The story I was truly sick of.

"The baby was what had made me and John closer, I don't think me and John would even love each other right now if I hadn't gotten pregnant" i said thinking back to my pregnant days and a tear clipped down my cheek.

"Adds, come here" Kyle said pulling me into a soothing hug.

"Addy, I'm sorry, I accidentally went in there thinking it was the bathroom. I didn't mean to make you sad"

"No its fine" I said with a laugh as me and Kyle let go. "I'm getting over it. It was just really rough in the beginning.

"I'm sorry"He said softly.

"Its fine"I said with a light smile.

"Wow I would have never guessed you have been pregnant" He said

"Hey thats what I said" Kyle said and I laughed.

"Well now that you guys know everything, we all good?" I asked as I hugged Kyles side.

"Of course" Jonathan said with a soft smile.

~~

It was around 3 in the morning and I layed outside on our patio on a couch chair.

The weather was nice and I love the light breeze.

The guys were asleep inside and I just layed out on the chair holding the house phone debating in my mind on whether or not to call John. I mean it was still dark outside and I didn't want to wake him, even though I woke him during the night plenty of times. He was really busy earlier today so he must be really tired.

I just layed there thinking.

Then I heard the glass door sliding open and I looked up to see Jonathan coming out.

"Hey you" I said with a smile as I sat up

"What are you ding out here?" He asked with a yawn.

"Just realizing, you know"

"Oh, that makes sense, considering its like 3 in the morning" He said with a chuckle as he sat next to me.

"Its nice out here"I said simply.

"It is" He observed.

I just smiled at him.

"Addy, I'm sorry about going into that room earlier" he said quietly.

"Hey, its no problem. Don't feel bad or anything" I said as I playfully hit my shoulder with his.

He just gave me a smile. "I'm happy for you and John"

"Thanks Jonathan. You're a really sweet guy, ya know"

"Thanks"He said taking a hold of my hand that I wasn't holding the phone with.

We stared at another and then he yawned.

"You should go back to sleep"

"Eh, I'm fine"

"Okay, you wanna lay down out here with me then? Its actually quite comfy."

"Yeah, sure" and we basically were situated the same as the night before. Him laying behind me with his arm hanging over my waist.

I think after laying down, a few seconds later he fell asleep. He started snoring lightly and I smiled.

I looked at the phone in my hand and then at Jonathan's arm around me and put the phone down on the ground.