Book That Ends With No Last Page

"John I miss you so much, I need you" I said into the phone and tears slipped down my cheeks and I instantly wiped them. The guys had gone to the store to get some popcorn and chips, and I was currently sitting in mine and Johns room on the floor leaning against our bed.

"Addison, I miss you too, more then you could ever imagine. But ill be home in no time" I was actually glad he couldn't trace through my voice that I was crying. I was basically talking normally, but tears were coming like a waterfall.

"I know John" I said softly.

"Whats bothering you?" He asked with concern.

"Nothing"I said instantly.

"Bull shit, tell me now"

"John- its Jonathan-its-I don't know"

"Whoa whoa whoa, whats going on with Jonathan?"

"I don't know. Ive been like thinking about him" I said quietly.

Then I heard him starting to breathe heavier.

"John?"

"Addison. Thinking about him how?" He asked his voice thick.

"In a not friend sort of way I guess, Like Ive been having what ifs. Like what if he never broke up with me? and hes just such an amazing guy" I said and wiped some tears.

"I want him gone" With hate in his voice and I didn't know if that hate was directed at me.

"No, hes keeping me happy and sane, nothings going to happen. I promise"

"You fucking expect me to think nothings going to happen when my fucking fiance just told me she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend, who is currently staying with her while her fiance isn't there? Are you fucking stupid?!" He pretty much yelled into the receiver.

"Don't talk to me like that! And if i was planning on cheating, I wouldn't even have fucking told you! I love you John! I don't want to be with Jonathan! Never did I even say I wanted him. I cant help what randomly goes through my head!"

"Addison! How the fuck would you feel if I told you I still had feelings for Daisy, or Megan?!"

"I would fucking slit their throats" I said without even thinking about it.

"Exactly, How do you think I feel? I want to murder him!"

"I don have feelings for him! Ive just been thinking about him!"

"Same fucking difference" He spat into the phone.

Oh now I was full on crying and sobbing.

"I love you John, I want to marry you, I want to be with you forever, no doubt about it. Your the one who can truly make me happy" I cried into the phone with so much passion in my voice I think John picked up on it.

"Addison, I love you. I don't want to lose you again" He said softly.

"You never will, I promise" I said quietly.

"Promise me on thing?"

"Anything"I said instantly.

If something does happen, by mistake or on purpose, you'll tell me?"

"Of course! I'm telling you this now! but John,I promise, nothing will happen. And I'm pretty sure Kyle will make sure of it too. Hes basically already given me the speech about not fucking up and doing something ill regret"

"Thank fucking god hes there" John said with a sigh.

"John, I love you. Not Jonathan"

"I know Addison. I trust you" He said softly.

"You're not mad at me right?" I asked quietly as I gripped the phone to my ear

"No, I'm glad you're being honest with me, I'm calm now. I promise"

"Okay" I said and then we didn't talk for the next few minutes. I just sat there holding the phone to my ear listening to Johns steady breathing.

"I love you" I heard him whisper a few seconds later

"I love you" I said back just as quietly.

~~

"Doll face, whats wrong?" Kyle asked throwing a Cheeto at me.

I just moved down the couch so I was sitting next to him and leaned on him, hugging his arm.

"I talked to John earlier"

"Every things fine with him right?" Kyle asked moving a little so he was facing me better.

"I hope so Kyle. He flipped out at first"

"Well of course he did, what did you expect?"

"I don't know. I'm just glad I told him"

"Yeah, that is good. But seriously Adds, I'm not trying to be mean, but if you love John as much as you say you do, how could you even think of another guy?"

I sat up and turned so I was full on facing Kyle. And then turned my head o make sure Jonathan wasn't coming into the living room

"I don't know, Okay Kyle? I do love John more then the world, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but Jonathan, I don't even know" I said looking down

"Addy"Kyle said lifting my face so I was looking at him"I think the only reason your slightly attracted to Jonathan is because he broke up with you"

"Whats that mean Kyle?"

"It means he broke your heart a little when he did, and you want him to mend it. Just like when John broke up with you at first. You were attracted to him because he was the one who got you in the state you were in and you wanted him to fix it"

I thought about it. I mean it sounded reasonable.

"Maybe your right" I said with a sigh

"I'm telling you, I know a lot about you" He said with a laugh

"You do, Thats why you my best friend"I and kissed his cheek and he smiled

"John wouldn't like that" He said with a chuckle

"But John likes you now, he hates Jonathan"

"You know, I'm glad we never hooked up"

"Oh wow, thanks, okay" I said rolling my eyes. What a nice thing to say.

"No I mean, I was in love with you, but if we had dated, I doubt we would be as close as we are now. I rather be your best friend then some ex boyfriend"

"You know Kyle, when I wanted to move on, you almost were an option, I mean you were the absolute most perfect guy in my life. But I didn't think you liked me like that anymore. Like you loved the word best friend to describe us."

"I was an option?" He asked smiling.

"Well duh, You treat me right. You and Kennedy, but Kennedy was a long shot. I don't think I could date Johns best friend."

"I'm flattered" He said with a laugh

"I want you in my life forever Kyle Burns" I said with a laugh and leaned back on him

"Well thats good, because I'm not going anywhere" He said putting his arm around my shoulder.

~~~3 Days later~~

I was sitting at the kitchen table sipping my fresh hot coffee.

Kyle was at the store getting some snacks for his ride home tomorrow. I didn't want them to go. Yay,back to wedding plans for me.

"Hey Addy"Jonathan said pulling out a chair and sitting across from me.

"Hello" I said with a smile as he sipped some coffee too.

"So the next time ill see you is at the wedding?"

"Mhmm" I said blowing on my coffee and then taking a sip

"I don't know if ive ever said this, but congratulations."

"Thanks Jonathan" I said with a smile

"I'm happy for you" He said sincerely.

"Your such a sweet heart"

"Thanks"He said with a laugh. "I'm glad you're marrying the guy that makes you happy"

"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked putting my mug on the table.

"Sure"

"Okay so well this past week, I have been thinking about us" I said a little shyly.

"I have too"He said softly.

"Great so we're on the same page" I said with a light laugh lightning the weird vibe that was starting to take up the room.

"Look Addy, I do like you. But I wouldn't get back with you. Thats not why I came here, to get you back or anything. I was us to be friends. Friends only. If we did date again, our relationship would be the same as it was before. You constantly thinking about John. You two are mean for each other whether I want to except it or not"

"Wow" Was all I could say. I felt like I was rejected. Story of my life.

"I like laying next to you, I like waking up next to you, I like talking to you about random nothing, I like you. But we would never work out like you and John do. Ive actually come to realize we arnt meant for each other as much as I want us to be"

"Wow, I think thats all I wanted to hear you say" I said and got lost in thought. Thought about John randomly kissing me awake. Kissing every exposed skin. Smiling into the kisses. Kissing me on the corner of my mouth making me smile. Placing butterfly kisses along my neck when we made love, kissing my nose making me giggle. He was the only guy that existed in my world. Only him.

"Its the truth. As much as I don't want you to actually get married, I know you've found your match, and it isn't me" he said softly.

I was speechless. I no longer thought of the what ifs. The only whats ifs that went through my head at the moment was what if me and John never got back together? Would I be dead?

Kyle was right. I only wanted Jonathan because he broke up with me and he needed to mend my heart. And he did. He patched it up by saying John was the perfect guy for me and he saw we didn't fit. The truth.

"Thanks Jonathan" I said with a genuine smile.

"We'll always be friends right? I mean not as close as you and Kyle, but close right?"

"Of course"I said with a sincere smile "Your amazing."

"Thanks Addy" He said with a smile and then sipped his coffee.