Give A Cheer For All The Broken

Mikey knocked on Kyra's door, and waited to see if she was awake or not. There was no response. Not even a cough. He slowly opened the door, expecting her to be asleep but the fear in the back of his mind kept creeping up, telling him she wasn’t alive. His mind as at ease once he saw her move the covers around in an effort to keep herself warm.

“Can we talk?” He asked, shutting the door.

She sniffled and wiped the corner of her eye with her wrist and said, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

"Please?" He begged.

"Fine."

Mikey didn't move from where he was standing, "Why?"

"Why what Mikey? Why does the world revolve around the sun? Why do we live the way we do? Why what?" She questioned.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why aren't we still getting married? Why did you throw Kat out? Why is Gerard an ass? There are a lot of whys I have but the first two are the main ones I need answered."

"You seem unsure of yourself."

“Why? Just because I want answers? I just want to know what I did that was so wrong."

"You didn’t do anything Mikey."

"Then why aren’t getting married anymore? Don't you love me?"

"No, you hate me," she sobbed.

"Kyra, I don't hate you. I love you with all my heart. Why do you think I hate you? Please don't cry," He said in an effort to try and comfort her.

"Because," she said softly.

"Kyra. Baby please, marry me still?"

Kyra shook her head, "I cant," her voice was weak.

"Okay, I understand that, can we at least be friends?" Mikey asked, hoping she would say yes. He couldn't lose her completely, he loved her too much.

"I-I-I don't know."

"Well since you can’t answer questions about us, can you tell me why you threw her out of here? But then told someone to go find her?"

"I can't do that either," she muttered, not making eye contact.

"Well, can you at least answer one of my five whys?"

"Gerard Way is an ass because his ego is too fucking big. Happy?"

"Not really, so you're telling me his ego is what made your best friend cry earlier? And start drinking, vodka? Though I may have had little something to do with the last part,” he admitted, hanging his head down.

"W-What?"

"What are you saying what to Kyra?"

"The drinking? The vodka," Kyra said, holding her head.

“Yeah, me and Kat were having a nice talk then she went to get coffee came back with vodka. We started fighting, then her and Gerard got in a fight, then her and Frank started fighting because he took her money. Eventually I think Frank told her never come back or something like that, and I'm pretty sure Gerard had her in tears just a few seconds ago."

Kyra shook her head, "This is fucked."

"What is?"

"Everything."

"So, if you didn't know about the fights, how did you know Kat needed found? And what does everything mean?"

"Everything is fucked up. This. Us. Them. I don’t know. I heard someone storm off."

"Yeah that was Kat, she was going to buy more vodka, but ended up at a park. What can I do to fix us?"

"What do you mean fix us?" Kyra watched him as he came over and sat on the bed.

He sat near her knees. Not entirely far but still far away. Her body ached, mainly from the procedure but the talking to Mikey only made her feel worse.

"You said we're fucked up, but there has to be a way to un-fuck it, just tell me how please."

"I don’t know Mikey. I honestly don’t know," she sighed.

"Do you still love me?" Mikey asked, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Mikey this is a stupid question," Kyra said, playing with the blanket.

"Yes or no?"

"Like I said. Stupid question."

"Kyra, yes or no?” He choked out.

“Yes,” she said softly.

“Well why won’t you take the medicine? For the pain?”

"Because I don’t want it.”

"But you need it. I don’t want to see you hurting!”

"No I don’t need it Mikey. I’m fine, honestly,” she lied, ignoring the pain.

"If you say so," Mikey said as he grabbed her hand with his and started drawling little patterns on the palm of her hand, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"About the you know?" His voice was soft and the words came out slowly.

"Say it."

"I don't want to upset you."

"Mikey..." Kyra warned.

"The baby," Mikey said looking at his hands as they played with hers.
.
"When I was ready. When you were ready. When we were ready."

"How would you have known? We never talked about it."

"Well I-I-I don’t know. When it was the right time."

Then a small silence came over the two. The only sounds were the beeping of machines, distant voices from outside and the continuous ticking of the clock as each second passed by.

"You would have made a great mom you know?" Mikey said, after a few minutes.

"Would have," she mumbled.

"And you still will. One day," Mikey half smiled at her.

"I don’t know. Maybe this is a sign."

"Did they say what caused it?"

"The dizzy spells caused by not enough food which set off the fainting and the fall."

"Why weren't you eating?” Mikey asked, concerned.

Kyra sighed, "Kat and I came up with this stupid plan. It seemed good at the time."

“That explains some of it, keep going."

"And well. We thought that if I didn’t eat so much it wouldn’t make it so obvious until I was ready to tell you.”

"Kat thought you should eat smaller meals instead of a lot at once right? And you went along with this? And now you're letting her think that she killed our baby and ruined our relationship, or is that how you feel too?”

"It was stupid. And entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have gone along with it."

"No I'm not saying that. It wasn’t entirely stupid, that works for some pregnant woman but not all... I'm just trying to understand how you feel about everything."

"I guess," she muttered.

"I love you."

"I'm sorry," Kyra mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"It’s not your fault," he said as he hugged her back, a small smile upon his face.

"No, it is Mikey. If I wasn't so stupid," she began crying.

"Oh Kyra, don’t cry. It’s okay. You didn't know, You thought you were doing the right thing. Just please stop crying."

She gripped the back of his shirt tighter and began soaking it with her tears, "Mikey promise me, promise me one thing."

"Anything, what is it?"

"Promise me," she breathed, "Promise me." Kyra couldn’t get it out, it was stuck.

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me," she swallowed the lump in her throat, "That we wont have kids. Ever"

"What?" Mikey asked, he couldn't believe what she has just said to him.

She knew it was a lot to ask. She knew there was a possibility that he might say no and leave her.

"Please, I don’t want to go through this again," she murmured.

"I..I...I..I don't know," he finally chocked out, unsure of whether to give up the girl he loved or the unconceived children he would never see.

"Please?"

"Fine I promise," Mikey said, holding back his tears.

"Thank you," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes

"Your welcome…Why did you make me promise that?"

"Because, I don’t think I could go through this again"

"You don't know that this will happen again."

"And you don’t know it wont."

"Sure I do. Because I will be able to take care of you, get you to a doctor, make she nothing goes wrong."

"Mikey, still you don’t know"

"Neither do you,” he said, trying to change her mind.

"You really want kids, don’t you?”

"Maybe, one day, if you change your mind."

"And if I don’t?"

"Then no," Mikey said, again holding back his tears.

"Mikey, you're about to cry..."

"No I'm not... My eyes are just watery."

"No they're not. You're eyes are only watery when you're either crying or about to."

"I'm fine."

"And I didn’t just lose our baby. What’s wrong?" Kyra asked, concerned.

"You didn’t just lose our baby. What else did you lose? Nothing."

"Are you saying the baby was nothing?"

“No, I'm saying nothing is wrong... What else did you lose?”

"Mikey. Look me in the eyes and tell me. I want the truth."

"After you tell me what else you lost."

"A part of me. And you."

Mikey looked Kyra in the eyes, “I’m just sad. I-I-I lost my unborn child I didn’t even know existed and soon to be wife in the same day... And now I find out she doesn't want, kids," He sighed.

"And what’s so bad about that?" She softly asked.

'Nothing, I guess."

"No, come on. Tell me. I can take it Mike."

"Nothing is wrong with it Kyra, Promise."

"Mikey, please. I can read you like a book."

"Is it just me you don't want kids with? Is that why you gave me the ring back?"

"What!? No sweetie. Don’t ever think its you. I know this as corny as hell but its me not you," she said hugging him again.

"Yes that was corny. I just don't understand you I guess. Do you think you will ever change your mind?"

"I don’t know. Maybe but trust me. If I do change my mind, you're at the top of the list to make babies with."

Mikey smiled at that, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said slowly and softly

“So what are we?”

"I don’t know. What are we?

"That’s up to you. Are we friends, dating or do you want this ring back?"

“What do you want?"

"I want whatever you want."

"Do you want me back?" She mumbled.

"Do you want to be with me?"

"Do you need me there when you wake up? Do you need me there when you fall asleep?"

"Yes," Mikey said, defeated, “But I don't want you, if you don't want me. Do you need me that way?"

"You just answered your own question," Kyra smiled softly.

"How did I do that?" Mikey asked confused.

"The answer to your question was the answer to mine."

"So what are we then?"

"Anything you want."

"Do you want this ring?"

"If you want me to," she smiled.

"I only want you to, if its what you really want. Don't do anything just to make me happy, okay?"

"Okay. I won't," she whispered.

Mikey could tell she was avoiding his question, “Do you just want to be friends, for a while?"

"Oh, if that's what you want then that's cool too," she said taking her arms off of him.

"It’s not what I want but it seems like its what you want," Mikey said, picking Kyra's hand up and kissing it lightly.

"Who would of thought. The end of the night that we'd just be just friends," she chuckled.

Mikey laughed a little, "Not me. Do you want me to go or stay in here with you for the night?"

Kyra shuffled over in her bed, "My last boyfriend wasn’t that fat, so you should fit easy"

Mikey smiled as he slid in to the bed beside her, he kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Night."

She smiled and rested her head on his chest, "I'm sorry again."

"Its fine, just get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning."

"You shouldn’t have promised me Mikey," she muttered, nearly asleep.

"Why?"

"Because in, like, 50 years time, you’re going to hate me for not having kids."

"No I wont. I could never hate you, for anything."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

The comforting sound of his heartbeat and smell soon eased her off to sleep, knowing that he was probably awake, thinking. And she was right. Mikey lay there, awake for a while just thinking, wondering why she didn't want to marry him or have children anymore, but soon he too was ready for sleep.