Your Silver Bullets Won't Save You Now

“I’ve had a wonderful evening Marcy, thank you so much for having us.” Mrs Antise said to my mother as they hugged fairwell, the mean following suit.

Feher turned to me, still smirking, he leaned in, and with both of our parents watching placed a kiss on my cheek.

“Come on Carta, make it look like it’s real. I’ve got you all figured out now, love. So play nice.” He whispered.

He pulled back and smiled.

I smiled back at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I leant in and place a single kiss on his cheek.

“You couldn’t figure me out, even if someone gave you an instruction manual. I don’t like you Feher, never will. But I will accept my fate, for my parents. No one else.”

I pulled back, both of my parents smiling.

“I am your fate Carta.” He said, everyone’s attention turning to him.

My parents and his presuming it was some kind of corny love line, but to me it was something else.

The truth, that occasionally hurts.

**

“What was that about?” I looked up as my brother walked in.

I motioned for him to close the door behind him.

He crept across my room and sat next to me.

“What’s going on Carta? First you hate the whole ‘you will become alpha’ thing, and last time I checked you hated Feher. And yet now, your acting like you want to be alpha and like you, love Feher?”

I sighed, my breaths shaking with sadness.

I looked up at my brother his eyes full of concern.

“Cart’, you’re crying.” He whispered.

I nodded and looked down, laughing at myself and how pathetic I was.

“What do I do Freddie? I hate Feher, I hate tradition. But if I want mum and dad to like me, to love me even, then I have to pretend. Become someone I’m not. I have to marry Feher!” I wailed, as he held me in my arms and rocked me gently.

“Cart’, you don’t have to do any of that if you don’t want to. Mum and dad will always love you. They just have a strange way of showing it, that’s all. If I had known your life would end up like this, I’d never have turned down being the alpha.” He whispered, his voice sad.

I sniffed and sat back, wiping at my eyes.

“I have to go to prom with Feher.”

His eyes bulged open, his mouth flapping like a fish.

“What? But you hate him!”

“I don’t’ have a choice. They want me to marry him Freddie. Mum and dad want me to marry him!” I cried, once more falling into his arms.

“It’s ok Carta. I’ll talk to them. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

I pulled back shaking my head, “No, they’re happy, with me, with each other. I haven’t seen them this happy. I can’t ruin it Freddie.” I shook my head no once more as I stood, “I’m just going to have to accept it, accept it all.”

He stood up, staring at me like I had grown three heads, but sighed as he hung his head.

“It’s your call Carta. But just think about this, seriously think about it. Is pleasing mum and dad that important, that you would sacrifice your happiness? That you’d marry Feher. You do know that’s what tonight was about, don’t you? They were deciding if you two should marry. And congratulations, you put on a great show. They are already deciding on the date.”

He turned, leaving me stunned and silent, not only by his words but also the anger behind them.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy your 18th birthday.” He sneered as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

I sank back down onto my bed.

My 18th birthday? I would marry Feher then?

I looked at my calendar, two months.

Two months till I marry an ass.

More tears spilled over as I stood up, tracing with my finger the days until prom.

15 to be exact, 15 days until I would attend prom by the side of Feher.

I shuddered as I thought of it, I turned to the window, collapsing on the window seat, my head leaning against the cold window pane.

I could see my reflection in the window, so got up switching off the light.

Feeling my way across the room I sat back down, looking out into the world.

And there, at the end of my garden wall, once again was the black shadow.